A/N: Interconnecting one-shots...for now...giving it a shot since I love Thomas x Brenda and I can't seem to find enough fics about them.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMR series.

Chapter 1: Memory

He's always up before everyone else, in cold sweat and gasping for breath. The memory of fire, death, and destruction slipping away once his eyes open. It's been a month after the events in The Last City, Thomas doesn't think he'll ever forget what has happened leading up to The Safe Haven.

Alby, Chuck, Newt…Teresa…

As he sits by the seashore, watching the water glide back and forth with the strength of the incoming waves, his heart starts aching.

Thomas has a feeling his friends know about his nightmares and unsettling memories; about his heartache. Minho would approach him and sit silently by his side every morning, right when the first rays of sunlight appear in the horizon and the only sound, they hear are the crashing waves along the bedrocks a few yards away. Words aren't exchanged and for that Thomas is grateful, he doesn't think he's ready to talk about anything with anyone yet.

It isn't until the slow start of movement and noise coming from The Safe Haven that Thomas and Minho start their day.

"Ready to go for a run?"

Thomas manages a small smile "sure, but not before grabbing a quick breakfast."

"As if we'd miss Frypan's gourmet breakfast," Minho scoffs rolling his eyes and starts towards the Safe Haven's dining area. In less than a month they had managed to build a flourishing living space. They had established The Hut, their living quarters where most of them slept in hammocks or the floor. It was a work in progress, parties were already being gathered in order to continue upgrading The Hut with bedrooms; a project that gave these young people activity and encouragement.

The Medic Tent was much smaller than their living quarters maybe housing up to four hammocks, but Jorge along with Sonya and several others were making work with what they could. And right across their Medic Tent was The Beacon, where Vince would call on them to meet or where they would socialize together along a rising bonfire at the center.

Then there was the Dining Hall, Frypan's fortress, they had built decent sized tables and wooden benches that now littered the Dining Hall enough to sit everyone in. The far end of the Dining Hall was sectioned off for the food preparation area and right along the edge of the Dining Hall four separate fire pits were dug up. Thomas scanned the small crowd lingering along the entrance of the Dining Hall, the person he was looking for nowhere in sight until he faced the direction of The Hut.

He noticed Brenda walking with Harriet and Sonya as they slowly made their way towards the Dining Hall. Harriet and Sonya seemed to be chatting animatedly with each other, while Brenda smiled along occasionally, distracted.

As if noticing his staring, Brenda lifted her gaze, a small smile graced her features as they approached.

"Good morning Thomas."

"Morning Brenda," a smile of his own appeared as she gave him a brief hug, her head slightly bumping against his chin when his arm pressed against her back prolonging their contact until she slipped away. He nodded towards Harriet and Sonya briefly, grimacing at the slight punch Brenda took to his shoulder.

"Be careful out there."

"Of course," Thomas watched as her teeth tugged at her bottom lip. She wanted to say more, but she was holding herself back. It wasn't like her to be undecisive.

"Brenda come on! There's a line already forming!" Sonya pulled at Brenda's arm dragging her right along.

Something unconsciously tugged inside of him watching Brenda's expression, but he didn't act on his impulsive instinct to pull her back and away from prying eyes to ask her what was wrong. He cared about her and she cared about him too…

An image of Teresa's face appeared like a flickering bulb and quickly faded away. No. No...I can't and shouldn't….

He found Minho sitting towards the very back gobbling up his portion of breakfast and trying to talk with Frypan with a mouthful of food.

Minho and Frypan threw him questioning glances, he guessed they had seen him talking with Brenda.

Ignoring them, he started eating his food.

"What's up with you and Brenda?" Minho asked after swallowing his food.

"What are you talking about?"

"Thomas, come on man even I know what he's talkn' about" Frypan added with a raised eyebrow.

He chose not to say anything, hoping they would leave the topic alone. Thomas knew Brenda was being distant. She was always around when he needed her—she used to be the first person up after his nightmares the first two weeks they arrived at The Safe Haven, wiping away his cold sweat, holding him until he stopped shaking, and reminding him that nothing was his fault—she was still present but not as frequent. Thomas blamed himself for that, but at the same time he decided it was for the best—his attraction was growing too much already.

So, he decided to push her away….

Her silhouetted figure was the first thing he saw hovering over him after waking up again. Her fingers combing through his sweaty hair slowed down his haggard breathing,

"It's okay Thomas" she whispered, her only other available hand now grasping his own.

"You're okay."

"Breathe."

His eyes closed and he concentrated on her voice, soothing words expelled his demons as fast as lightning. Thomas gripped her slender hand tightly after he calmed completely, unconsciously wanting to pull her close and have her share his hammock together—he wanted to kiss her again…

His eyes opened at that thought and a familiar sinking feeling started growing in the pit of his stomach. Guilt. …she wasn't Teresa. Alby, Chuck, Newt, and Teresa weren't here. He was supposed to be taking care of everyone. He wasn't supposed to be the one being taken care of.

With his mind made up, he abruptly pulled her along after him. Thomas heard her whispered curse after narrowly avoiding bumping against Minho snoring away in his hammock a few feet away.

"Thomas?"

He didn't look back and kept walking until he was sure they were far away enough not to be heard.

"Thomas!"

He let her wrist go and faced her. But maybe facing her wasn't the best choice, he thought. Thomas fought the urge of taking her lock of windblown hair from her face and placing it behind her ear, he needed to focus.

He noticed her shortness of breath and soon the guilt returned. How could he forget her tiny stature compare to his own?

The moonlight illuminated her features and soon she seemed more like a mythical nymph than the brave survivor he knew she was. He felt conflicted and angry.

"I need you to stop."

Brenda took a brief step back at his harsh tone.

"Thomas, what are you talking about?"

"I need you to stop hovering," her face scrunched up at his declaration. He needed her to understand.

"Brenda," he forced himself to look into her dark brown eyes "you're not her and you won't be her" the flash of hurt that crossed her features, pierced through his chest.

He prepared himself for her angry retort or even rough rebuttals, but nothing came.

Thomas watched with a weary heart as she swallowed back her tears and a heartbreakingly resigned expression laid on her features, "I…I know Thomas."

"Just remember I'm still your friend and I care."

And it was right after that night that Minho started accompanying him in the mornings. He had a feeling Brenda had something to do with it.

"Enough with the gossiping, let's go run."

Minho looked ready to ask him another question, but clearly changed his mind. His friend was a stubborn piece of klunk. "Let's go shuck face!"

Maybe heading out for a run and scavenging the island will ease his mind off Brenda and maybe soon his memories won't be burning through his eyelids at night.

Maybe.

note: thanks for reading :)