Gail rushed through her final tasks of the day, trying to control her anger at the newest batch of recruits. There was not enough time to rip into them like she wanted to do. But boy did she want to. She was just too busy with paperwork. And that, of course, was their fault.
She grumbled under her breath as she stacked the nearly finished files up neatly. Why was she always stuck with the worst rookies of the class? Just once she would like to get a winner as great as she was as a rookie. But who was she kidding? Today was no different than the last several years.
The newest buffoon under her charge had accidentally discharged his weapon at a fire hydrant. Luckily no injuries were reported except to the hydrant's new paint job. Still a discharged weapon meant an extra mile long stack of paperwork to turn in.
Gail growled under her breath as she eyed the idiot cowering in the corner hoping an invisibility cloak could fall into his lap. Here she had been just hours earlier practically preening over the thought that for once she would make it home before Sophie returned from school. She had been hoping to greet her daughter as she stepped through the front door with the biggest smile she could muster.
Sophie never complained when Gail was late to the dinner table. It happened often, usually anytime Chris was picking her up from school. But today Gail had arrived extra early in a bid to leave early. She felt she had a lot of ground to mend with her sulking teen. The last time Gail saw Sophie, she had barely gotten a goodbye out of her. Her little girl just appeared trapped in her own thoughts. And Gail knew that she was to blame for her contemplation.
That's why Gail had been hoping to be there to share with her daughter the best part of her day. Who didn't love leaving school or work for home? They could have talked about their day, made a few snide comments and laughed as they made dinner. Gail really believed a family dinner could have gone a long way in helping her family mend in the wake of the last few days.
But that plan was now down the toilet thanks to her charge. Still maybe Gail could make it home in time to join them at the table. The veteran officer quickly dotted all of the i's and crossed all of the t's on the last page of her paperwork. She carefully rushed the stack to the main office for processing, then gave the desk barely a glance as she dropped it off.
Gail was in so much of a rush that she did not see the hand grasping for her arm as she made her way to the exit. She did not notice it at all until she was jerked into an open interrogation room and the door was quickly shut.
The room was darker than usual. Most likely because it was not being used. It had been a while since Gail had stood an empty interrogation room. The memories of the last time she had happily been in one of these rooms and who she had been with flashed in her mind. She quickly pushed them away. Now was not the time.
Gail turned around to yell at whomever thought it was a prudent thing to interrupt her day. But the biting remarks on the edge of her lips stilled as her eyes hit the perpetrator. She felt the world slow down in front of her as the woman flipped up the light switch.
Gail's eyes bulged, startled to see Holly standing across the room. The doctor fidgeted as she took in Gail's unhidden surprise. She leaned back against the door. Once ample lighting filled the room her eyes met Gail's and she gave a slight smirk.
"I still remember where everything is. Old times I guess," she said with a shrug.
Gail thought back to some of the moments they shared inside of a similar room and felt a smile creeping up her face. Old times indeed.
Seconds passed as neither lady spoke. Both anxiously waited for the other to begin. Finally Holly took a small step away from the door and started the conversation.
"I called."
The word were breathed out earnestly. Just one phrase. Two simple words. But those seven letters sent a multitude of emotions through Gail. She immediately knew what it took for Holly to be standing there at that moment, after making the call.
Rejection was never easy the take the first time. That's something Gail knew too well. But standing there now, Holly was acknowledging the rejection. But she was also still reaching out for Gail. She tried again even though Gail had already broken her promise to be there when she was ready.
Holly... damn it Holly, Gail sighed internally.
A frustratingly part was if this had been the past, Gail would have leaped at the chance before her. She wanted to be there for Holly, wanted to keep her promise and to grab what the woman before her was offering.
But Holly also reminded Gail of her regrets. She brought Gail face to face with another night, filled with misunderstandings, pain and misery. She reminded Gail that a little girl with trusting eyes also reached out to her. She also expected Gail's hold. Gail knew she was going to let one of them down. And it could not be Sophie.
"I know," Gail replied with a quietness in her voice. It sounded strange to both her and Holly.
Holly sighed as she said the obvious. "I called. You didn't answer."
"Yeah," Gail grimaced. "Things happened."
Holly nodded slowly as she stared intently Gail. Holly just looked at her for a moment as if taking her in completely. Suddenly she gave one last firm nod.
"Okay."
The word made Gail's brows jump up to new heights. She could not comprehend what that could mean.
"Okay?" Gail repeated as a question. She searched Holly's face for a sign. Of what? Gail had no clue. Holly just gave a slight shrug.
"Yes, Gail," she said. "I know it's been five years. I know we've probably changed in ways neither of us could imagine. But I still trust you. When you say something happened, preventing you from answering my call, I believe you."
Gail's mouth fell opened as she stared at her ex. Was this what being on a hidden camera show felt like? She could not believe how easily Holly gave out her trust after all of these years. With her family issues and the dark cloud over the Peck name, Gail could count ob one hand the number of people who didn't question her motives every now and then. Few people were willing to simply trust her completely even in the 15.
She realized Holly had not been there for the chaos. She had not seen the turmoil her family's treachery had taken on her friends, her department, her life. But quickly, Gail also realized with absolute certainty if Holly had been there she would not have been on the list of those who doubted her.
"Holly," Gail began but was stopped by the woman who continued to amaze her. She held up her palm waving it around.
"Wait," Holly said. "Will you give me a moment?"
She looked away and straightened her glasses. To Gail, she appeared to be steadying herself for something. It took Holly a moment, but only one. In the next second, her brown eyes were focused on Gail and full of reserved assurance.
"Before, I let you do a lot of the talking," Holly stated calmly. "Today please let me begin."
Gail nodded as she watched the confidence grow in the woman in front of her. She did not know what Holly had to say. To be honest, she kind of feared what she may say. Gail knew Holly was no longer hers. She knew she had no claim on the beauty before her. Yet the thought of Holly walking away from her again left Gail with such an ache she did not even have the will to imagine it. She did not want to imagine it. So she blocked out her thoughts, and watched and waited as Holly took control.
"I have been thinking a lot about what you said to me," Holly started. "I actually have really thought of little else. You really know how to occupy a girl's mind."
The words came with a small smirk almost as if they brought a nice memory to the speaker. Gail's heart did a little flip.
"At first, it was a lot to dissect," Holly admitted. "But I'm sure you remember that I'm a girl who loves dissection."
"How could I forget," Gail muttered in slight disgust. That earned her another smirk, which in turn garnered another heart flip.
"Well, yeah..." Holly cleared her throat, as if she was forcing herself back on some unknown course. Her face lost the lightness that came with the smirk. Her tone switched to one much more serious.
"So I dissected. Not just the words you said. I looked impartially through the case that is our... our relationship for lack of a better word and," Holly paused. "I think it's fair to say that we have a full file... you and I. Your current situation. Our past. The breakups. The makeups. How we left things... it's a lot. And sorting through it all, there is only one real objective deduction I can make, anyone could make, when all of it is taken into account."
Gail felt herself frowning as Holly looked away to push her glasses in place. It was one of Holly's tells from way back. Gail cringed inside as she feared what would come next. Holly bit her bottom lip before she looked up apprehensively.
"Gail, I'm sorry." Holly sputtered. "I'm completely and absolutely sorry."
Her sincerity showed in the softness of her tone, the brightness of her eyes and the vulnerability in her demeanor. It all threw Gail completely.
"What, huh?" Gail shook her head as she tried to have it all make sense. "Why are you sorry?"
"Because I left." Holly said it so simply, as if even the most confused person would follow her line of thought.
Gail squinted her eyes in confusion, in near disbelief . Holly tilted her head, surprised that Gail did not immediately understand.
"But I told you..." Gail began before Holly took another step towards her, holding out her palm again to stop her.
"Yes, you told me to leave," Holly nodded, predicting what Gail was going to say.
"Believe me, I have reminded myself of that very moment on several occasions through the years. But we are both women who have made entire careers out of finding the truth. So we should be able to face it in our own lives."
Holly closed the small space between her and Gail by taking her former lover's hands. She wanted her full attention.
"You told me to leave," Holly said softly. "But I left. I left you apparently when you devastatingly needed someone. You needed me. I know neither one of us could have predicted what happened. But no one ever can predict the good or the bad to come. That's never the point. I mean the way you talk about Chris..."
"Holly, Chris and I are just friends," Gail interjected. She could see the pain pass through Holly's eyes.
"I understand," Holly quickly affirmed. "But how he was there for you at your worst point... How he helped you through it." Holly looked down in sadness. "He was there. He did not leave your side."
"Holly," Gail whispered, feeling for the first time the full weight of Holly's regret. It pained her.
"You shouldn't..."
"Don't you understand, Gail?" Holly's eyes shot up as she earnestly meet Gail's gaze. "That should have been me! That should have been me at your side. Helping you. Supporting you. Loving you. Instead I was trying to create a new life somewhere else. But that should have been me."
Gail would be lying if she did not admit that Holly's words felt like cooling salve on a long open wound. Over the years, Gail had wondered if Holly had been there would the scars been as deep. But she never expected, never knew she needed to hear the words. Now she had heard them and had honestly received them, Gail only wanted to end the sadness and pain in the woman that shared them.
"I get why you left," Gail pulled away as she put some space between them. She needed to get her bearings because once again Holly left her unsettled.
"I get it," Gail breathed as she turned away. "I was a lot. I am still a lot. We had just gotten back together. We were barely stable when I threw in Sophie. Beating yourself up because of the past doesn't change anything."
Gail turned back to find Holly's eyes had never left hers.
"You're right," Holly's eyes focused on every detail of Gail. "But you deserve to know. That it would have been me if—"
"Holly, you wouldn't have wanted that," Gail stopped her. "I wouldn't have wanted it. Trust me. I was a mess."
Holly eyes grew wide in shock as she listened. "You could never... You could... I could... Gail, after all of these years... do you trust me?"
The question stopped Gail's line of thinking completely.
"What? Why would you ask... of course I do!"
Holly rushed forward. She took Gail's hands in hers again, needing the connection. "Then believe me when I tell you that I would have been there. That would have been me."
She had Gail's complete attention. Emotion filled her eyes.
"That would have been me if I hadn't been so scared. If I hadn't been so worried about my ability to handle another break up as hard as our first."
Holly slowly exhaled as she revealed something she had never shared with Gail.
"Loving you scared me. You're right. You are a lot. When I first met you, you hit me like a whirlwind. And when it was over I struggled to breathe. The first time we broke up, I was not expecting how much of my life I felt was missing without you. When we got back together, those feelings stayed in the back of my mind. I'm a lot of things but needy is not one of them. Loving you, needing you, scared me."
Holly searched Gail's eyes. she did not hide the vulnerability that lied behind them. She was opening herself up to possibly being hurt again. Gail wanted both to stop her and wanted to pull her in and never let go. She was at a loss. So she let Holly continue.
"I took the easy way out, Gail," Holly explained. "I'm not proud of myself. I let you decide everything. If I were to stay. If I were to go. And that was not fair. I talked myself into leaving and used the excuse that you told me to leave to clear my conscience and to hide my regret."
"You regretted it?" Gail asked quietly. Holly made sure she kept their gazes connected as she answered.
"More than anything else in my life." She tightened the grip on Gail's hands, needing to make she heard her. Gail exhaled slowly as she struggled not to ask the one thing she needed to know. But she could not stop the words from leaving her.
"Then why didn't you come back?"
"Because I had an excuse." Holly laced her answer with her regret. "You told me to leave. You want me..."
"I never wanted you to leave," Gail threw out passionately.
"But you told me." Holly threw back. "At least that's what I told myself. Whenever doubt creeped in or regret or fear. I gave myself an out. I'm human, Gail. I get scared too. I let my fear make the wrong decisions. But I never thought for one second that things were better without you. I never wanted to be without you. I was scared."
Gail shook her head up and down in understanding. She could finally see Holly's point of view. She could finally put herself in the other's shoes. Gail felt some of the darkness, the weight over her lift. It was a strange feeling that took her out of the moment for a second. Then she felt Holly's grip on her tighten and looked back to her.
"But I'm not scared any more." Holly shared with a whisper.
Gail leaned in, confused. "What do you mean?"
Holly cleared her throat and tried again.
"I'm not making any more excuses," she said firmly. "And I'm not letting myself stand in the way any longer."
"But," Gail stuttered, "what do you mean?"
"I'm staying. I'm taking the job, Gail," Holly said with determination. "I'm not leaving."
"Holly, wait," Gail uttered as she backed away. The weight that had just lighten on Gail returned like boulder. She dreaded what she thought may be coming.
If Holly noticed, she paid it no attention. Holly would not stop. Like a train urgent for its destination, she pressed forward.
"You were right about Meagan. She was packed when I went back to the room. She wanted us to leave. She kept saying, 'let's go back home.' Only I could not imagine where she meant. Because San Francisco has never been my home. She was never home. How could she be? When I am still utterly in love with you."
Gail sat frozen, both devastated and elated by the declaration. How the hell was she going to survive this intact, she thought. Her heart shattered knowing she may not be able to.
'"Holly," Gail tried to interrupt but Holly did not let up.
"I'm staying, Gail. This time I will be here. For when you need me. For when I need you. For us."
"Holly, I did not answer the call," Gail groaned.
"And I want to know why," Holly said with the most efficient of nods. "I want to know what things happened. Yesterday. A year ago. Five. I want to hear all of your stories. And I want to tell you mine."
"I need you to slow down..." Gail swallowed deeply. She wondered how to say it all. "Sophie..."
"And I want you to know that it doesn't matter." Holly continued.
Gail stopped moving, confused. "Sophie doesn't matter?"
"No!" Holly yelped as Gail frowned. Holly shook her head and tried again. "Yes! I mean... I didn't mean her. Of course she matters. Of course," Holly put all her strength behind those last two words, reassuring Gail.
"I meant our situation does not matter. Whatever's changed in our relationship, it doesn't change how I feel, where I will be. I know we can't be what we once were... "
Gail listened to Holly, shocked at her words.
"Are you saying that—"
"I'm saying that I know Chris and Sophie are a part of your package. I'm not asking you to leave them. I'm not asking you to be with me. In a perfect world..." Holly shook her head with a chuckle. She appeared to change her train of thought.
"Gail, if the only things we can share are late night calls and laughs, I'll take it."
Holly took a hold of Gail's sleeves and gently pulled her back to her with a smile.
"Because I don't want you out of my life again. I'm not leaving again. I am here for the long haul. In whatever capacity that works. You told me Chris was the best. But believe this, Officer Peck, he's got nothing on me."
Gail looked longing at Holly. How did this... angel of a woman continue to amaze her. It felt like she had dismantled Gail's entire arguments about why she couldn't have Holly in her life. Holly had taken them apart before she had even heard them. she was offering Gail options. Gail was left stunned at the thought. No one usually gave her an option.
She only seem to get one ways. She wanted Sophie so she knew shad to change her life to make it happen. she wanted to be there for her family so she made the sacrifices she need to make. She wanted to maintain the life Sophie deserved so she knew she had to give up Holly. Very few things in Gail's life came with options.
But Holly appeared to be the exception. She seemed to be saying it was not a battle of either or when it came to her. Now there appeared alternative paths, options Gail had never known existed. She felt the constant push and pull on her, start to fade.
Gail groaned heavily. "Holly, what am I'm going to do?"
Holly smiled. "What you always do, Gail. The right thing. Either way, I'm going to be right here. I'm not going anywhere."
Gail groaned, as she allowed herself to do one thing she had not done in years. For the first time in a long time, she gave in. She pulled Holly into a deep hug and let herself feel someone else hold the world. She leaned on someone else, someone she knew could keep her standing.
A tired Gail walked into her home to find an impeccable kitchen and Chris in disarray. He was shoulder deep inside of a cabinet, searching for something. Like a turtle, He pulled his head out once he heard the door close.
"You said you'd be home earlier." Chris complained.
"Yeah, well when you're training Toronto's finest it can take a while." Gail answered back. She grabbed a chair at the dining table and plopped down. Chris took notice of her shoulder leaning forward, heavy from the day. He closed the cabinet and stepped back with a perplexed look on his face.
"Sophie's in her room," He informed her watching her closely. "There's Thai in the fridge. I'm supposed to head out with Nick, but I can't find the safety pins."
Gail looked at Chris in confusion. "And you thought to check the top kitchen cabinet?"
Chris shrugged "Well, I tried all of the other ones."
"In the kitchen, I presume?" Gail shook her head at Chris's nod of affirmation. "Did you try the small drawer under the medicine cabinet in the bathroom?"
"Yes..." Chris said slowly as he turned towards the door. Gail chuckled as her husband made a beeline for the stairs.
"You are such an idiot." She yelled at his back.
"I know," he yelled as he disappeared up the stairs.
Gail sighed as she looked around the empty room. This was her home. This was her family. But for the first time in a long time, she felt like she didn't recognize her place in it. She had always been satisfied with her life. Decently satisfied. Her best friend was at her side. Her daughter stood between them both.
Her Peck pedigree had been unceremoniously ripped apart with lies and betrayals. From those ashes, Gail had pieced together a pretty good life. That had always been enough, even if it was not everything. Gail could not pinpoint when though had changed. Was it Holly? Was it the thought of more that reminded Gail that decently satisfied was not the highest standard, especially for happiness?
Gail was brought out of her thoughts by Chris of course. The silly guy with a silly grin had stuck his head around the corner and cleared his thought.
"Yes, Christian?" Gail asked like a truly forlorn wife.
"Don't you want to know why I need the safety pins?" Chris asked with a smug smile.
Gail wanted to enjoy the moment with him, take in his glee. But the day was weighing on her. And she could not let it continue.
"Chris..." Gail spoke softly, sadness coating the small word. Chris immediately lost his signature mirth. He straight up and re-entered the room. Gail took in his outfit. He had formed a poorly put together toga with a bedsheet and said safety pins. Gail would have laughed out loud if she had not been feeling so... so forlorn.
"Chris, what in the hell am I going to do with you?" Gail griped as she rubbed at her brow.
Chris did not return fire. He walked over to his wife, pulled out an adjacent chair and took a seat.
So Holly's coming out swinging, huh?" He asked taking on good look straight into Gail's eyes. He studied her hard, before leaning back. His shoulders slumped resigned .
"Looks like a K.O." He nodded. "Good for her I guess. You know, if I wasn't on the other end of this equation, I'd be in her corner."
Gail looked Chris straight in the eyes. "If you weren't on the other end, it wouldn't be an equation."
Chris gave her a pained chuckle that ended on a sharp note.
"Who are we kidding, Gail? It's not me on the other end."
Gail gave a guttered groan as her head fell into her palms.
"She's been through so much, Chris."
"Yeah," Chris agreed. "But she will be fine. we all will be. I know what you wish we could be. But nothing's perfect. Neither one of us have had a cookie cutter life. We didn't turn out so bad."
"But we are supposed to give her that life, Chris." Gail argued. "We are supposed to give her perfection."
Chris scoffed. "Gail, did you really think this was going to last forever? That you wouldn't want more one day? That I wouldn't want more?"
"You want more?" Gail asked surprised.
"No," Chris admitted with a small smile. "I'm a married man who comes home to my best friend and daughter every day. But I'm also a married man who gets to go to toga parties and pick up women, no questions ask. I generally don't have to worry about commitment or loneliness. I have the best of both worlds."
Gail shook her head at Chris. "You make it sound like you are some family guy, frat guy hybrid."
Chris gave a toothy grin. "I kind of am and that's amazing for me."
Gail looked at Chris, her head tilted to the side. She was flummoxed by his current attitude.
"If this is so great, why are you so calm now? What happened to the guy who damned near threatening Holly to stay away from me?"
Chris' expression lost all pretense of that silly small town boy facade he liked to hide behind. Now sitting before Gail was a man who had gone through a lot in his young life, a man who knew what tough times really meant. Chris sat back against the chair and met Gail's eyes.
"That guy... well, that guy was in mourning, you know. I've kind of been grieving what was our relationship since Holly came back. I always could see where this was going. I could tell what was missing for you. The truth is if I thought I could keep this going, I would jump at it. I love us. I love what we have built together. But it only works when we are on the same side, Gail. I can't fight you to keep us."
"Chris, if I could change the way..." Gail was cut off by Chris putting a comforting hand on Gail's shoulder.
"We've had a really solid several years, Peck. And in the last five years, I only seen you truly happy a few times. Really truly happy. When the judge gave us Sophie. When she first called you mom... that first Christmas when she put that bow on you and called you her best gift..." Chris pulled Gail to his side for a hug.
"I love seeing you happy, Gail. I wish you knew how you light up when you're happy. Maybe you will one day. You'll be sitting with Holly and you will look in the mirror and take it in."
"I don't want to destroy us." Gail murmured painfully.
"You're not destroying us," Chris said sadly. He wiped the small amount of wetness that had gathered around his eyes. "We're made with bricks, baby. No blowing this house down. Just a little remodeling."
"Chris... I just... I want to be happy." Gail shared with a tinge of yearning. Chris tightened his arms around Gail as he felt her slump.
"You want Holly." Chris clarified for her.
Gail nodded. "I want Holly."
She said the words for the first time and breathed deeply. It felt like opening a window to the cool breeze on a sweltering day. She let the new feeling lift her up.
"I want Holly."
Gail felt the weight of the world pressing against her chest as she entered her daughter's room. It usually sat on her shoulder. Sophie paid her no attention, did not even notice Gail standing nervously by the door. The earbuds she held in her ear blocked out ambient sounds.
The moment of being unnoticed allowed Gail to fully take in her surroundings. It was a mixture of what made Sophie so unique. Her first court room teddy bear. Her solar system. Her collection of advanced coloring books. The rocket that started them on the journey to the place they were in now. Her love of art and science, her mementos of joys and sorrows were all on display. Gail cringed as she realized what she was about to do. She knew she was about to hand Sophie another sorrow.
So caught up in her thoughts, she failed to feel the presence behind her before she heard the knock against the open door she rested on.
"Hey, Soph," Chris bellowed loud enough to Sophie to register through her headphones. "We need to talk kiddo."
As Sophie took off her headphones and turned towards them, Gail looked at Chris in surprise.
Chris shrugged. "You really thought you'd have to do this alone?"
Gail never wanted to hug the big lug so much. She smiled in relief as he laced his arm around her shoulders. The two entered the room as a unit. Two hours later, the three exited the room, still as a family.
Gail tried her best to look casual as she leaned against the main desk in the morgue. She reminded herself that this was once her safe place. She was just relaxing in a place that she had once known so well that she could point to every hidden crevice just out of the cameras' reach, every spot where interns loved to nap or do other activities.
But that was then. Now she felt very much out of place. In the last several years, she had rarely actually found herself in the morgue. She usually sent someone else there particularly to stay away from the place. For a long time the morgue was haunted to her. Not with spirits. Instead with memories of Holly. Memories she wanted to keep at bay.
But now Gail was in the quiet building, waiting for the woman who once haunted the place to return. At that moment, Holly turned the corner into her soon to be office and spotted her favorite cop.
"Careful Gail," she beamed as she quickened her steps to get to Gail. "I hear you're kind of a ghost around here. Don't want to spook anyone."
Gail chuckled because Holly must have read her mind. The closer the doctor got to Gail the brighter she smiled. Gail could feel her spirits lift at the pure joy emitting from Holly's expression.
"You know, Holly." Gail smirked. "If I was a ghost I doubt I'd be the first to roam these halls. Considering where we are."
"Nope," Holly's grin grew as she bounced in place on her heels. "We give dead people rest here. Answers that needed to be shared. I'm pretty much that we are a lot like Jennifer Love Hewitt character on that show about helping lead spirits to a better place."
"The Client List?" Gail asked with a frown.
"No, Gail." Holly said trying to keep her laughter at bay. "I'm not a prostitute."
"No!" Gail jumped up at the thought. "I wasn't calling you a prostitute."
Holly's smirk grew. "That's what that show is about so you kind of was."
"No, I mean—"
"Oh, you're so easy, Peck." Holly laughed as she took a seat at her soon to be desk.
Gail settled into her spot and just looked at her. Holly's eyes shone with happiness and something else Gail hadn't experienced in what felt like forever. Pure adoration. The doctor put it all on full display for Gail. And Gail gave it right back. This was right, Gail felt it. It was perfect and it was right.
"Holly," Gail breathed her name as if it was a prayer. Her earnestness caused Holly to pause her laughter and lean in.
"Yes, Gail?"
"Did you mean what you said... when uhh..." Gail exhaled and tried again. "You know, the whole late night calls and laughs thing."
Holly raised her head in a sweet gaze. "I meant every word."
"But..." Gail swallowed hard but persisted. "You love me?"
Holly's gaze did not waver. "Yes."
"So, would you be willing to have dinner with me, Sophie and Chris?"
Gail heard her voice shrink as she asked the question. She was stepping on a ledge, taking her chance finally after waiting so long. She had forgotten how nerve-wracking that could be. She saw Holly's expression change to one of surprise.
"Oh."
Gail could tell the sound slipped out of Holly before she expected it.
"Okay." Holly agreed, uncertainty laced in the small word. Gail immediately knew she needed to jump in to explain.
"It's just that Chris and I had a talk," She paused uncomfortably. "And then Chris and I and Sophie had a talk... and uhh, we decided... no, I decided... well..."
Holly waited with patience as Gail got herself together. Gail shifted away to stand directly in front of Holly. The nervous woman could feel her anxiety spike as she stumbled through her conversation. It wasn't going at all how she had planned. Chris had reassured her that this was the easy part. Of course the idiot was wrong.
She didn't understand why she was screwing it up. Gail surmised maybethats just who she was. Did Holly really deserve a constant screw up?
Gail was taken out of her own thoughts by a soft hand cover the cold hand at her side. Gail met Holly's eyes and saw understanding beaming back at her.
"Gail, you don't have to decide anything right now," Holly reassured her with a crooked smirk. And there it was, the words Gail needed to push through. Holly always seemed to know what she needed. Gail tighten her hold on Holly's hand and leaned in.
"You know what, Holly. These last five years have been a lot. Hell, my whole life has been a lot. I've always had to manage expectations. Never disappoint. Always deliver. It was Peck way. Everyone looked for me to come through when it mattered. Everyone waited on me for the big plan." Gail's chest grew heavy with emotion.
"But you... you're the first person to tell me that I can wait. That I can breathe. That I don't to jump in or lose. That either way I would have you."
"It's the truth, Gail." Holly once again reassured. She stood from her seat, never letting her hand leave Gail's. "I lost you once and I will not do it again."
Gail smiled tenderly as she brought her other hand up to caress Holly's cheek.
"The thing is that it wasn't until you removed the requirement of a decision, the expectation of the one right move, that I realized there was only one true decision I could ever make. There was only one way this was ever going to end." Gail inhaled deeply and stepped off of the ledge.
"I love you, Holly. And I don't want just late night calls and laughs. I want quiet talks and loud arguments. I want be able to call you just to hear your voice, touch you just feel your skin, kiss you just feel your lips. I want to know what you think and how you feel. I want cuddle time and crazy times where you're trying to explain to me some nerdy thing and I just play along because you're so hot and great."
"Gail," Holly laughed through the tears that left her choked up. Gail smiled as she looked into the eyes of the woman she loved and continued to fall.
"I've a lot of baggage with me, a soon-to-be ex-husband and a kid that I can't and won't ever leave... But if you want me, then that's what I'm offering. I want it all. Saturday nights on the town, Sunday mornings in bed and Monday mornings in bed..."
"Don't forget Tuesdays," Holly whispered as if she was in a dream.
"Can't forget Tuesdays," Gail agreed as she leaned in and met Holly's lips with a soft kiss.
"Gotta love those Tuesdays."
She smiled as she felt Holly breathe. Breaking the kiss, she leaned her forehead against Holly and sighed.
"If you want me, I really would like to come home now."
Holly pulled Gail deep into a hug and squeezed tightly, as if she held on for dear life.
"I want you," Holly said. The passion behind the words strengthening them and their meaning.
"Come home. I'll just clear out an extra room or two for Chris and Sophie. And some extra space in the closet for your baggage."
Gail leaned back and glared at Holly. "Really, Holly. You're going to put me back in the closet?"
Holly shook her head in pure joy. She pulled Gail back into her arms for another kiss.
"Oh shut up, Gail."
For once, Gail did exactly what someone told her to do. And it had never felt more right
*** A quick writer's note: I just wanted to thank you for sticking with me through this story. I know the updates took forever. Life just kept saying, nope. Not today. But because of you I was able to finish this story. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you again.****