Chapter 6 – Giving up
Three weeks later, Castiel still hadn't made contact.
While Sam continued to live life, searching for cases, researching, and yes, even going out for the evening, Dean was slowly but surely going crazy.
He had nightmares almost every night, keeping him awake. So to forget his pain, he started drinking more. And even though he knew it wouldn't end well in the long run, he couldn't stop. He was sure that he had to look like the last rascal and probably smelled like one.
Dean could tolerate comparatively much alcohol, but this time he had overdone it.
He had pushed Sam, who was trying to help Dean in any way he could, away very harshly at lunchtime.
Now he was more unconscious than alive in front of his bed. To achieve the desired effect he had taken a few tablets after the first Jack Daniels and flushed them down with the second Jack Daniels.
Meanwhile he had started the fourth bottle and noticed how he lost consciousness. The last thing he noticed was lying on the floor in front of his bed, the empty bottle beside him.
He had crossed the line excessively and so he muttered only softly "Cas..." Then it got dark.
Dean couldn't quite make it out. He'd given up.
Sam, who was on his way to his room after being alone in the library all afternoon, passed Dean's room.
The doors were thick and muffled some noise beyond recognition, but a low rumble heard Sam anyway. Normally he would just keep going, but after Dean's condition and behavior over the last few weeks, he couldn't. He stopped and knocked.
"Dean? Dean, you okay?" No answer.
Sam opened the door.
Both Sam and Dean never locked their doors. When they were kids, their father John told them to always lock all the doors. But since they had occupied the bunker, they had broken the habit. When the door was closed, they either knocked or left the other one alone.
"Oh, no", Sam thought and ran to his brother.
"Dean!" He shook him, but Dean didn't answer.
"Dean! Do you hear me?" he shouted. Then a few seconds later...
"Cas! I hope you can hear me. No, actually, I know you hear me. Cas, I swear to God, if something serious has happened to Dean because of you, you are screwed. I will find you and then pray that you catch me on a good day!"
But nothing happened, not a whisper of Castiel to be associated with.
Sam looked for the keys to the Impala, found them on the table in the library, picked them up and went back to Dean. Dean was still on the floor, looking dead.
Sam picked him up and carried him out in his arms. He knew Dean would not have liked that at all, but he had no choice.
"Castiel! I'll never forgive you for this", Sam thought.
Sure, his brother had been hurt many times, physically and emotionally. He had lost father and mother, had lost Sam, had been in hell, had been saved there and had also lost this saviour. But Castiel, like Sam, had always came back.
Now that Dean finally admitted to himself how he really was, right now Castiel had to disappear again.
Meanwhile, Sam had arrived at the car. He opened the backseat door and carefully put Dean down. He closed the door, sat in the driver's seat, and drove off.
The nearest hospital would take care of Dean.