Chapter 8 – The return
Scared, Sam turned around. He had not heard the new visitor coming.
Behind him was Castiel.
Sam opened his eyes and stared at the angel. The angel had bruises and small, partially still bleeding wounds on his face. The white shirt was stained with blood, too.
"What in God's name happened?", Sam brought it out quietly.
"Just go", was Castiel's response. His voice was not very friendly, and Sam left the room in surprise.
No sooner was he out, Castiel quietly but clearly closed the door. He also lowered the blinds that allowed a view into the hospital hallway. It was clear he did not want to be disturbed.
Now that he was alone, he pulled a chair by Dean's bed and looked at the motionless body.
"Dean..." Actually, he wanted to say more, but his voice broke. Carefully, he took Dean's hand.
"I know you can't hear me, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come to this. You don't have to forgive me, but there's something else that needs to be worked out. So please, Dean, fight and come back. And if not for me, then at least for Sam. Your brother needs you!" With tear-filled eyes, he lowered his head and shook it slightly.
"What have I done", he thought, "what have I done?"
A few days later, after the doctors had brought Dean out of the coma, Sam was the first to visit him. Castiel had respectfully let the brother go ahead and planned to visit Dean the next day.
Dean looked like he was asleep when Sam came into the room. With relief, he realized that all the tubes had disappeared.
"Dean?", he asked quietly and went over to his brother's bed.
"Hey, Sammy."
"Oh, thank God, you're awake!" Laughing and crying at the same time, Sam bent over the bed and held Dean as tight as he could.
"Hey, princess, no crying."
Acting outrage, Sam let go of his brother and punched him lightly in the arm.
"Back to your old self again, huh?", he asked. Then, more seriously than before, he looked at Dean. "What was that all about? You can't just do something stupid like that."
"Sammy, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking either. I really appreciate you bringing me here." Dean smiled at his brother. "I'm still tired. Let's talk about it when I get home."
"Dean, you know that's not gonna happen!"
"But, Sam, I mean it this time!"
"Okay", Sam said, nodded briefly and left the room. After a while, Dean fell asleep again.
The next morning he woke up again. He looked around his room. Looking to the right, he saw Castiel asleep, leaning against the wall, sitting on one of the visitor chairs.
"Cas?", he asked quietly, not sure if he was still dreaming. Castiel woke immediately and came to Dean's bedside. Dean closed his eyes. "Man, where have you been?", Dean asked sadly.
Castiel reached for Dean's hand. Dean didn't pull his away, being glad, somehow, of the familiar warmth.
"It's a long story", said the angel, exhausted. Dean had not expected this, opened his eyes and was startled when he saw Castiel up close.
"What happened to you?", he asked in a panic, trying to sit up. The small wounds healed already and the bruises turned greenish yellow.
Castiel pressed him gently but firmly down. "I'm fine. Please don't be upset."
"That's not what it looks like. What happened?" Dean felt helpless. He wanted to be angry, but when he saw his friend...
"Dean, this is not something you should be dealing with just yet. Just get better."
"Don't deal with it yet? When else am I gonna do it? When it's too late?"
"Dean, please..." Castiel paused to look at the older brother. "Okay", he finally said.
Castiel sat back down in his chair. Just as he was about to start talking about what had happened, a nurse came in with lunch. She put it down without a word and walked out again. Dean, who was not hungry at all, pushed the table aside and indicated to Castiel that he could talk now.
"All right, well..." Castiel lowered his head and laid his hands in his lap. He knew they were shaking and he didn't want Dean to see it. "I am banished from heaven forever. I am forbidden to return there or to approach the portal. If I do, the guards are hired to kill me."
Dean saw Castiel's shoulders tremble. The angel wept. Dean had never seen it before and was shocked. Then he recollect.
"Cas", he said almost in a whisper, and the angel looked up. Dean had moved to the edge of his bed and indicated to Castiel to come to him.
Exhausted, Castiel stood up, took off his trench coat and lay down with Dean. He put his head under Dean's chin and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Dean pressed him to him. Castiel cried softly and Dean let him. He knew only too well what it felt like to lose his family, his home. Eventually, Castiel had calmed down somewhat and started talking again.
"They asked me how I was doing, what I was doing. But I don't think anyone was really happy to see me. Naomi and her companions got aggressive when I told them about us. I was taught to be honest and so I told them how I really felt about you." Dean wanted to ask more about that statement, but then he left it alone.
"We can talk about that later", he thought.
"They led me away like a prisoner", Castiel continued. "They put me in a cell and hurt me. They said I was a disgrace to heaven. I was like a sin, and if I didn't convert, I would know that sins were punished. When I showed no understanding, they put a total of four angels to watch over me. When Naomi realized that despite the torture I was only getting physically weaker, she ordered her people to let me go. They left me alone and wounded.
But that was not the worst of it. These cells are usually equipped so that no signal or sign goes in or out. But my cell was prepared to allow signals to get in. So I listened to your prayers to me, could see how broken you were, but did not have the ability or strength to send you a sign."
He sobbed softly. Dean, who had closed his eyes to suppress his own tears, pressed Castiel to himself. He knew he would never let 'his' angel go!
"This was the worst torture ever inflicted on me. And it's all because I was honest and told them I love you." This is where Castiel fell silent. He hadn't paid much attention in the last minutes, but now he realized Dean was completely still. He pushed himself up on his elbows, looking at Dean.
His lower lip trembled violently and from the corners of his closed eyes came tears that looked like little streams.
"Oh, dear", Castiel thought, "what have I done now?"
"Hey", Castiel said softly and nudged the others slightly. Dean took a trembling breath but kept his eyes closed. They both knew that Dean was not the one talking openly about his feelings.
"Dean," Castiel said as softly as before.
"For me you are no shame, no sin", Dean muttered slightly shaky.
"You are the greatest gift anyone could ever give me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I love you too, more than you can imagine."
He opened his eyes and looked directly into Castiel's.
"Still beautiful", he thought, and now he didn't care.
He had imagined this moment very differently, especially not in a hospital, but they were both here, they were alone, and Castiel had told him that he loved him.
Either Castiel didn't notice, or he didn't want to notice, but when Dean raised his arm, he didn't even flinch.
Dean pulled Castiel down with him. The tension, which could have been measured just now, it was almost instantaneous.
The kiss was more than they had ever dreamed. They were completely lost in eachother, time and space no longer mattered. Only when they couldn't breathe did they separate.
They looked at each other breathlessly. Then they smiled. Castiel was lying almost completely on top of Dean, however that happened.
The angel wrapped both arms around the hunter's shoulders and neck. He gave Dean a brief but distinct kiss on the cheek, then buried his face half on Dean's neck, half in the mattress.
Dean was overjoyed, and he pressed Castiel against him. It was clear to both of them that this was not gonna be just the one kiss.
When Sam stopped by Dean's again late in the afternoon, he realized he didn't have to come.
His brother and the angel lay sleeping and snuggled up close together in the hospital bed, which was actually much too small.
When Sam, after going out, told the nurse in charge that Dean was now sleeping again and should not be disturbed, he left the hospital again and could not help smiling.
"At last", he thought and got into the Impala.
(A/N) I would like to mention here just once that it is a story and I wrote Naomi (and heaven) for it like this.
I am an absolute opponent of homophobic statements and persons!