Clary nervously played with the material of her thin scarf as she rode in the car with Jordan. She was excited to see CeeCee, to see with her own eyes that little girl really was okay. But seeing CeeCee meant a talk with Jace would follow, and that was gnawing at her. It was funny, she thought. She had spent so much time wishing he would talk to her, and not that he finally wanted to, she had the urge to shut him out.
"I know it's none of my business," Jordan said, breaking the silence. "but I really believe you should hear him out."
She glanced sideways at him. Was he able to read her thoughts?
"You're right. It is none of your business," she snapped at him.
He sighed. "I'm not saying I agree with the way he went about things, but I am saying that I understand. Let him explain himself."
"I'm not talking about this with you, Jordan," she said with a huff.
She was still mad at him, too. There were secrets being kept—that much she knew. Jordan had helped keep those secrets, and for that he was also on her shit list at the moment. The rational part of her knew that whatever information he did keep was because of his job. The rest of her couldn't help but feel betrayed by him, though.
The car ride went back to being silent. She stared out the window and sat up a little straighter as they approached Jace's building. There was a crowd of reporters standing outside the parking garage. Clary knew there would be some—it was the reason Jordan was driving her instead of her taking a cab. With Raphael apprehended, it was finally released that CeeCee had been found and was safely at home. It was a breaking story across gossip and mainstream media sources. The scandal of Raphael being involved made it an even bigger interest to the public. She still hadn't expected there to be as many reporters as there were.
Jordan drove into the garage and easily parked before exiting the vehicle. Clary opened her door, glancing in the direction of the reporters.
"Don't worry," Jordan said. "They can't come in here without being considered trespassing. It's not a public garage. They're just hoping to see something or catch Jace in case he, for some reason, walked out of here instead of driving. There's a few lurking around the front door, too."
Clary nodded, stepping out and closing her door. She followed him to the elevator and up the penthouse.
Jordan turned to her, his hands shoved into his pockets. "Jace decided to make himself scarce. CeeCee's in her room. You can go talk to her and then find Jace whenever you're ready. I'll be around if you need anything."
He had barely finished his sentence before she took off down the hall. CeeCee's door was slightly open, and Clary paused in the doorway. The little girl was laying on the floor on her stomach, a coloring book open in front of her. She was moving a crayon over the page, and her feet were swinging behind her.
Clary felt tears prick at the back of her eyes. Unlike every other time recently, this time was because of pure relief and joy. She really was okay. She was there. She was alive. And she was safe. Clary blinked away the tears before making her presence known by lightly tapping on the wood of the door.
CeeCee's head snapped up, and a grin immediately appeared on her face. "Miss Clary!" she yelled, jumping up and running to her. She threw her arms around Clary's legs. "Daddy said you were coming today!"
"Hey, baby girl," Clary choked out, the tears back in full force now.
CeeCee looked up, hearing the thickness of Clary's voice. "Why are you crying?" she asked.
Clary kneeled down, taking CeeCee into a real hug. "I'm just so happy to see you, sweetheart."
She stayed with CeeCee for a few hours, coloring and talking. Clary kept the conversation light, only asking about what CeeCee had been doing for the past few days and what she wanted to do with the rest of her summer. She stayed as far away from her time with Valentine as possible.
When CeeCee started to yawn every few minutes, Clary figured it was time for her to take a nap. She helped tuck the little girl in and sat on the edge of the bed, running her fingers through CeeCee's golden curls.
"Are you done with your vacation now?" CeeCee asked, her voice quiet and eyes closed.
Clary stilled her movements. A vacation must have been how Jace explained her absence to CeeCee. "I'm not sure," Clary responded.
CeeCee pouted, opening her eyes a little. "Please? I miss you."
Clary placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I miss you, too, sweet girl. I'll try to finish my vacation as soon as possible, okay? Now get some rest."
CeeCee closed her eyes again, burrowing her head into her pillow. Clary continued to sit on the bed until her breaths evened out and slowed down. Once she was sure CeeCee had fallen asleep, she carefully stood up and left the room.
She paused outside the room for a moment, her forehead pressed against the wood of the door. She didn't know if she could stand things not working out with Jace. Yes, she loved him, and still did even after everything. She didn't know why. Love was funny like that, and she knew if they ended things it would destroy her heart. But she also loved CeeCee. She could maybe move on without Jace. It wouldn't be easy, but she believed she could do it. CeeCee was another story, though. She felt a strong motherly love toward her and didn't know how she would deal with losing her in her life.
Taking a calming breath, she pushed herself off the door. It was time to find Jace. As much as she didn't want to talk with him, all her speculation wasn't going to do any good if they didn't actually start to communicate with each other.
She began to walk down the hallway but stopped at her old room. In her rush to see CeeCee earlier, she hadn't noticed the door was ajar. Curious about what Jace had done with her space, she gently pushed the door open all the way. She was surprised to see that most of her things seemed to be where she had last left them. There were still sketchbooks on the nightstand, some of her clothes still hung over the back of a chair, and all her knickknacks sat on the dresser.
However, she noticed a few of Jace's things now present. His laptop sat on the bed, which was a mess of tangled sheets and a rumpled comforter. A few pieces of his clothing had taken up residence on the floor and there was a whiskey tumbler and glass next to her sketchbooks.
"Hey," a voice said from behind her.
She whirled around, a hand clutching her chest. "Jesus Christ, Jace. You scared the shit out of me."
He was leaning on the wall on the opposite side of the hallway from her. "Sorry," he said softly. "I was trying to give you space, but I needed to put CeeCee down for a nap. I'm guessing you already did that?"
"Yeah," she said, her eyes flickering back to her old room.
"I've, uh, been sleeping in there recently," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck.
She nodded her head once. "To be closer to CeeCee."
"Something like that." His voice was quiet, just barely audible. He cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. "Do you—Are you ready to talk?"
Clary had to stifle a smile. She'd never seen Jace seem so unsure of himself, and it was slightly endearing. But there was a reason he was unsure of himself—he'd fucked up big time. That was what she needed to focus on.
"Yes, but not here," she said, regaining her composure. "I don't want to risk CeeCee overhearing anything."
"Your place then? I'll have to call her grandparents and see if they can watch her for a bit."
"Of course," she responded. "I'm going to head out. Just come over whenever you get the chance, I guess."
"I'll walk you out," he offered. "Jordan's waiting by the car."
"Okay," she said lamely. Everything felt so awkward, forced and stunted, and she hoped that their real conversation would go better than this little hallway talk.
They started to walk toward the elevator, and Jace placed his hand on the small of her back. She tensed under his touch, and he immediately withdrew his hand, muttering an apology. When the metal doors slid open, she was surprised that he stepped in with her.
"You don't have to ride down with me," she said, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her shorts.
"I want to." He rocked back on his heels and pressed the button for the ground floor.
They rode in awkward silence, Clary staring down at her shoes despite feeling Jace's gaze burn into her skin. She fought the urge to meet his eyes and was thankful when they finally reached the garage.
"So, I'll stop by once I have CeeCee all figured out?" Jace said as she started to leave.
"Um, yeah," she replied. "Sounds good."
He gave her a small smile, something glimmering in his eyes, before she turned at walked to where Jordan was leaning against the car.
Jordan looked over her shoulder as she approached, his eyes on Jace.
"I'm going to say it again. Hear him out," he said before opening the driver's door and climbing in.
It was only an hour and a half later that Clary got a knock on her door. She had spent that time anxiously deep cleaning her kitchen and bathroom. She couldn't just sit idly while she waited for Jace—she had way too much energy.
As soon as the knock sounded, she took the pair of yellow cleaning gloves she was wearing off and threw them under the sink. She yanked the elastic tie out of her hair and quickly ran her hands through her curls before opening the door.
Jace was standing in the hallway, his hands hidden in his jean pockets. He looked up from the ground as she opened the door and gave her a tentative smile.
"Hi," was all he said.
"Hi, come in," she said, stepping out of the way to let him through. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Water would be great," he responded, walking further into her home.
She stiffly walked into the kitchen and pulled down a glass, filling it with water. She was ready to crawl out of her skin. She wasn't used to having people over. Izzy was usually the only one who came by, and she wasn't sure how to be a host. But this was also Jace. It shouldn't be uncomfortable and awkward for her, but it was, and she hated that.
She brought the glass to Jace, who was looking at the papers scattered around her laptop. He took the water from her, the corners of his mouth turned down and his brow furrowed.
"You're moving?" he asked, something like panic in his voice.
She shrugged. "Thinking about it," she said. She left out the I was knowing Jace would think she meant I am. After seeing CeeCee again and being back around Jace, she knew there was no way she could actually leave New York. Jace didn't need to know that, though.
"Oh," he muttered. "Should we sit or?"
"Yeah, right here is fine," she said, gesturing to the table. She didn't want to sit somewhere too comfortable or close together, like the couch. The table gave them the perfect amount of space from each other.
They sat down on opposite sides, and Clary looked at Jace expectantly. Right now, everything was on him. He ran a hand through his hair and took a drink of water before starting.
"I just—Fuck, Clare. I am so sorry," he said. "You have no idea. I didn't want to do any of this, and it killed me inside, but I had to. I've missed you so goddamn much, and I know you're mad, and I deserve it. I don't want to fight anymore, though, Clary. Just know that I didn't mean single fucking thing I said."
He reached across the table to touch her hand, but she snatched it away, placing both hands in her lap.
"Why did you do it then?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even. "Why did you say those things to me? Why did you tell me it was all my fault right after telling me to stop blaming myself?"
"I don't know, Clary. I really don't. All I know is that I had to get you to leave, and I knew saying that shit was the quickest way to do it."
"You had to get me to leave?" She didn't even try to hide the hurt in her voice.
He sighed, pulling at his hair. "Shit. I'm not explaining this right. I got a phone call when I didn't give into the ransom demands right away." She nodded, remembering that call and how quickly his demeanor had changed after it. "Whoever it was, whether it was Raphael or Morgenstern, had added an extra threat. They—They said if I didn't start complying that other people I cared about would go missing. At first, I wasn't too worried. But right after they hung up, I got an email. All it contained was pictures of you. There had to be at least fifty. You at work, you out with CeeCee, you walking into your building. I had to get you to leave to protect you, Clare. Even after Morgenstern was caught and I had CeeCee back, I still had no idea who his partner was and if that threat would still be carried out. Everything I did was to keep you safe."
"Unfuckingbelievable," she muttered, pushing back her chair and standing up. There was too much anger let loose inside her, and she couldn't continue sitting down. "That's your excuse? That you were protecting me? I don't need protecting, Jace!"
"They threatened you, Clary," he responded, his own eyes blazing. "Was I supposed to just ignore that?"
"What you were supposed to do was tell me about it!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air.
"Why? So you could ignore it and put yourself at risk? You can't tell me you would have actually left if I had told you about it," he said as he slowly stood himself.
His voice was stronger now, more commanding. Any sign of uncertainty of himself had vanished.
"Maybe, maybe not. But it should have been my choice." Her voice cracked, angry tears threatening to spill. "You chose for me and kept me in the dark, instead. You left me wondering why you had suddenly turned on me. Why you said those things. Why you were ignoring me. Why you hated me."
Her heart was beating frantically in her chest, and every emotion she felt was overwhelming. She yanked off the scarf around her neck, feeling like she couldn't breathe. Jace's eyes narrowed when he saw the dark bruising, courtesy of Raphael, that had been revealed.
"He hurt you," he growled out.
"So did you!" she spat out.
He flinched at her words. "And I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for that," he said, his voice a little softer now. "But this hasn't been easy for me either."
"Well you brought that upon yourself," she pointed out, her hands balling up at her sides. "You chose how to handle it and had to face the consequences of that. I, however, did not get a choice and I had to suffer because of the choices of you made for me."
"I understand that I made a mistake, Clary. I wasn't thinking right with everything that was going on, and I made a rash decision. I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it a thousand more, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I left you in the dark. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said. I'm sorry I walked away when you told me about the baby. If I had known I never would have done this."
"Oh, that's nice." She let out a humorless laugh. "If you had known I was pregnant you would have handled things differently. Well, I'm a person, Jace. And I'm supposedly a person you love. You should have treated me differently regardless of whether or not I'm carrying your child."
"That is not what I meant," he responded defensively. "If I had known how much it would hurt you, how much it would affect you, I wouldn't have done it."
"You shouldn't of had to know. If you had taken five fucking seconds to think about it, you would have seen what a terrible goddamn idea it was."
"Gee, I'm sorry for not thinking properly. I really should have gotten it together while my daughter was taken by fucking psychopaths. My bad."
Clary took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and not lash out again at his sarcastic response.
"We aren't getting anywhere right now," she said, her tone even. "I—I think I need some time."
"What does that mean?" Jace asked, his own anger seeming to disappear.
"It means I need time. You just dumped a lot of information on me, and I need time to think about it. I'm too upset right now, and we're just feeding off of each other's negative emotions. This conversation isn't going to be productive."
"Okay. You're right," he breathed out. "How much time?"
"I don't know," she answered quietly, wrapping her arms around herself.
"Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
She refused to look at him as the words "I don't know" fell from her mouth again.
Clary spent the next few days making some life changes. Her first move was going to Pandemonium and putting in her notice. She had no interest in working there anymore. The money had been really good, but she was looking for something more stable. The money she did have saved up would be more than enough to tide her over until she got a new job. She was hoping for something that would have her working during the day, maybe a waitressing gig or something.
She also started to look for apartments in the city. She knew that she couldn't leave the city, but she also wanted something better than her current apartment. Something with more space. Something safer. Even if her and Jace did get back together, she wasn't about to move back in with him right away. She was still going to want her space until they found themselves on more solid ground.
While she was in the middle of scouring through help wanted ads, there was a knock on her door. She frowned, not having been expecting anyone. She held back a sigh when she looked through the peephole and saw Jordan standing on her doorstep, holding a box.
Clary opened the door, leaned on the frame, and crossed her arms as she looked at him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
He rolled his eyes at her hostility and lifted the box in his hands. "I'm dropping something off."
She eyed the cardboard box suspiciously. "It's not some sort of attempt at an apology gift, is it?"
"No," he said, moving to enter her apartment. She stepped out of the way and he walked in, placing the box down with a dull thud. "It's some of the stuff you left."
Her heart sank. Was he returning her stuff? She knew she asked for some time, but was he giving up already?
"Oh," was all she said.
"Don't jump to conclusions, Fray," Jordan said. "It's just some art stuff that he thought you might want."
She removed the lid from the box and peered inside. There were some of her sketchbooks, pencils, a few smaller canvases, and paints and brushes all neatly placed inside. A note in Jace's handwriting sat on top, but Clary decided she would wait until Jordan was gone to read it.
"Oh," she said again.
"I'm sorry about keeping things from you, too," Jordan suddenly said.
Clary turned her head toward him and quirked a brow.
"Like I've said before, I don't think Jace made the right choice, but he had his reasons. And as much as I value our friendship, he is my boss and I have certain loyalties toward him."
"I know," she replied softly. "It still sucks, you know?"
"I do know. But I also hope you'll forgive me. And I hope you forgive Jace because he's been absolute shit to be around."
Clary cocked her head to the side. "He did almost lose his daughter, Jordan. I'm not surprised."
He shook his head. "It's not just that, Clary." He paused, his eyes scanning the room real quick. "I shouldn't tell you this, but I guess as your friend I owe you some loyalty, too."
"You definitely do," she agreed.
"Jace has been an absolute mess with you gone. He was sleeping in your room even before CeeCee was back. He's also just been a total angry asshole. You should have seen him that day he made you leave. He was throwing shit and cussing and the apartment was a disaster. He hurt you, but he hurt himself, too. There's no excusing what he did, but I really hope you forgive him."
She shifted on her feet. "It's not that easy. It's going to take time for me to trust everyone again and get over this hurt."
"I understand that," he said, walking backwards toward the door. "But hopefully that time comes sooner rather than later. Call me if you ever want to talk, okay?"
"Yeah, of course," she said as he opened that door and walked out with a small salute.
Once the door was closed behind him, she hooked the deadbolt and returned to the box. She sat down cross-legged on the floor and pulled the note out.
Clare,
I don't know if you needing time included space, so I decided to play it safe and send Jordan in my stead. I know you like to use art to help you process things, so I thought you might want all your supplies handy. Make something beautiful. You always do.
-Jace
She folded up the note and tucked it into her pocket. She wasn't even going to try to deny the fact that Jace really did know her. Her art was definitely an outlet for her, and she really could use it with everything that was going on.
She rummaged through the box and took quick inventory of what was in it. It contained most of her supplies. There were a few sketchbooks missing, but that wasn't a big deal. The ones that weren't there were ones that she was pretty sure were full. They wouldn't be much use, and she could always get them from Jace later.
She pulled out one of the sketchbooks that was in the box along with a case full of graphite pencils. She planted herself on the couch, drawing her knees up and resting the pad on them. Before she touched the tip of a pencil to the paper, though, she set it back down and pulled her phone out.
If Jace was making an effort, she could at least make an effort in return. She typed out a quick message thanking him for the box and letting him know she really appreciated it. After hitting send, she shut off her phone and put it away. She didn't want the distraction while sketching.
She got started, her pencil moving over the paper's surface even though she didn't have anything in particular in mind. Lines and shading started to come together and form a clear image. She set her pencil down as she finished the drawing. Staring back at her was the face of a small child.
On his head was a messy pile of curls, looser ones like Jace's. She could imagine them being a strawberry blonde color. His face was a mix of her features and Jace's, and in her mind his large eyes were a beautiful hazel color. She knew without a doubt that the child she was looking at was meant to be hers and Jace's. Even though she didn't know the sex of her baby yet, she had a gut feeling that it was a boy.
Looking at what could very well be their child did weird things to her. She was going to be a mom. She was going to be completely responsible for this other life. This life that Jace helped create. This life that would benefit from having both parents around to love and nurture it.
Staring at that imaginary child's face made her want to fix things with Jace. She wanted to give their child the type of life she didn't have—one with both parents. Sure, even if they didn't fix things, Jace would still be a part of the child's life, but that was completely different than having a solid family unit. She didn't want rotating visitations. She wanted a life with Jace and their child and CeeCee. She just flat out wanted Jace.
But as much as she wanted him, she couldn't let go of the hurt. He had lied to her and hidden things. Sure, he thought he had noble intentions with it, but that didn't take away the betrayal and hurt she felt. It was going to take a bit for her to forgive him, but in that moment, she didn't think avoiding him was helping anything. They needed to actually talk about things in order to begin working through them.
She set the drawing aside and turned her phone back on. She skimmed over Jace's reply to her thank you and sent out another message asking if they could meet up and talk. He responded almost immediately, and they made a plan to meet in a week.
Clary sat in a booth in Taki's, facing the door, a cup of decaf coffee clasped between her hands. She'd shown up a good hour before the time she and Jace agreed on, her nerves getting the best of her. She wanted some time to sit there and get her bearings before he showed up.
In front of her was a small pocket notebook. She'd spent the past week reflecting on everything she was feeling. She had jotted down somethings she wanted to talk about and questions she wanted to ask. She hadn't prepared at all for their last conversation, and she didn't want a repeat of talking in circles and not getting anywhere.
She looked up from the dark liquid between her hands when the bells above the door jingled. She watched as Jace sauntered in. He looked like hell, but she figured she probably didn't look much better. His eyes met hers, and a breathtaking smile took over his face.
"Hey," he greeted as he slid in across from her.
"Hi," she replied, taking a sip of her coffee. Jace raised a brow at the cup, and she quickly followed with, "It's decaf."
He nodded. "Have you ordered yet?"
"Just the coffee," she said, setting the cup back down.
"Are you hungry?" he asked as he opened a menu.
She shrugged. "I could eat." Her stomach rumbled the second the words were out, betraying just how hungry she actually was.
He smirked at her over the top of the menu. "You're eating for more than just you now, Clare," he said lightly.
The waitress came over at that point, ignoring Clary's presence and focusing solely on Jace. He ordered a large breakfast for himself and then ordered a spinach and tomato omelet with a side of turkey bacon and fruit for Clary.
She glared at him as the waitress flounced away, and he gave her a questioning look.
"I can order for myself," she bit out.
"I just wanted to—"
"Make more decisions for me?"
His face fell, and she immediately regretted the words. The time she spent reflecting obviously hadn't helped lessen the bitterness she felt.
"Shit, I'm sorry," she said softly. "Hormones, you know?"
He nodded mutely, his gaze off to the side.
She hated the dejected look on his face and decided to just be honest with him. "I'm trying, Jace. I really am." She reached across the table to grab his hand. His gaze snapped up to meet hers, obviously surprised that she initiated the physical contact. "There's just so much going on inside of me right now," she continued. A lot of feelings and thoughts and questions, and I have no idea how to express them or what to do with them and it just makes me want to lash out."
He gently squeezed her hand. "I understand, Clare." He let out a shaky breath, running his other hand through his hair. "Hell, I deserve it."
"I'm not sure I would say that," she responded.
His eyes scanned over the near-empty diner. "More information has come out, and, God, I feel even worse than I already did. Which I didn't even know was possible."
She cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"
"They've been interrogating Santiago and Morgenstern to piece together the whole story. Morgenstern had it out for me after I fired him, but he knew he couldn't come after me on his own. When word started to spread about everything going on between me and Santiago, he pounced, recruiting him in a way."
He stopped talking as their waitress returned at their meals down the table. Clary's stomach rumbled again as the scent of food filled her nostrils. She wasted no time digging in, shoving a forkful of omelet in her mouth.
"So Valentine and Raphael joined forces or whatever," she said after swallowing. What does that have to do with me?"
He swallowed his own bite of food, eating in a much more reserved manner than she was. "That's when Santiago set his sites on Kaelie. I can't deny it was a smart move. Weaseling his way into Kaelie's life would give him easier access to CeeCee, which he knew was the best way to get to me."
She nodded along, still not sure where she came into the story.
"Then that night when Kaelie left CeeCee alone happened," he said.
Clary paused, her fork halfway to her mouth. There it was.
"Fuck, Clare," he sighed. "You saved her that night."
"I—What?" she asked dumbly, setting her utensil down.
His left knew bounced erratically. "It was all part of a ploy, Clary. Raphael convinced Kaelie to go out with him that night, to leave CeeCee alone," he explained, his voice thick. "Morgenstern was supposed to her grab her while she was unsupervised. That was their initial plan. If you hadn't ended up picking her up that night…"
A small "oh" escaped her lips as a bunch of if-nots filtered through her mind. If CeeCee hadn't gotten sick. If CeeCee hadn't called. If she hadn't actually gone to pick CeeCee up.
"Not only was I a complete asshole to you that night, but I made you feel responsible for the actual incident. If she had been taken that night, we wouldn't have had any leads/"
"But when she was taken from the apartment, we had something to go off of because I recognized Valentine," she filled in.
He nodded. "Exactly. It was a horrible thing that happened, one that's going to haunt me, but it could have been so much worse. I could have never gotten my little girl back."
She pushed the remaining good around on her plate, no longer hungry. All the new information was swimming around her brain. It had absolutely killed her appetite. All the questions and comments in her notebook also felt obsolete now.
"But I don't want to talk about that anymore," he said. "We came here to talk about us."
"No. I'm glad you shared that with me. I want to be in the loop," she replied. "So, thank you. And thanks for sending me the art stuff."
"Of course. I hope it's helped. Have you made anything yet?"
She bent over and pulled a folded piece of paper out of her bag. She handed the drawing to him, avoiding eye contact as he unfolded it. It was the one she had drawn that first day. She'd made more sketches over the past week, but she had felt pulled to share that one with him.
"This is amazing, Clare," he breathed after a brief silence. "Do—Do you know?" He flicked his eyes down and back up.
She shook her head. "No. But I have a gut feeling. Mother's intuition I guess."
He quietly cleared his throat. "When is your next appointment?"
"In a few weeks, I think."
"Would you mind if I went with you?" he asked, his gaze shifting between her eyes.
She didn't respond at first. Him going to the OB with her felt like it would be extremely intimate—more intimate than what they should be doing. She wasn't sure she was ready for that yet. On the other hand, he was also the father. Didn't that mean he should get to be part of the experience?
"Uh, sure," she finally said. "I'll send you the details."
He crumpled up his napkin and set it on his plate. "No matter what happens between us, whether we patch things up or not, I want to be a part of this," he said, his eyes holding hers.
"I know," she said. And she did. A week ago, she had been questioning it. She never should have, though. If anything, the way he was with CeeCee should have showed her that. He was nothing if not a dedicated and involved father. And even when Kaelie had done bad things, he hadn't completely kicked her out of CeeCee's life. Clary had no reason to think he would keep their child away from her.
"But I really do want to work things out," he added.
"I know," she repeated.
He sighed, resting his elbows on the table and leaning forward slightly. "You gotta help me out here, Clare. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing to make things better."
"I don't know, Jace. This isn't something that you can just say sorry for and suddenly make everything okay. It's going to take time and you need to show me you're sorry through actions. Filling me in about the investigation is a good start. I need to be back in the loop. No more keeping anything from me."
"I'll work on it, Clary. I promise," he said. "CeeCee's been asking about you."
"She has?"
He nodded. "God, I never should have kept you from her. I didn't think about how much it would affect her, too. She really misses you."
"I miss her, too." She swallowed the lump forming in her throat.
"Do you want to maybe get together this week? We could take her to the park and have lunch or something."
"I would really like that," she said, a genuine smile spreading across her face.