CeeCee's giggles rang out over all the other noise in the park as Clary rhythmically pushed her on the swing. Clary smiled at the sound as her hands gently pushed on her back again. She quickly swept some hair out of her face before CeeCee's body swung back toward her. It was a beautiful day. The sun was glowing high in the sky, but a small breeze kept it from being too hot to be outside.
"Higher," CeeCee squealed.
Clary let out a small laugh but shook her head. "I think you're high enough, sweetie," she responded.
"Please?" Clary could picture the pout on CeeCee's face even though she couldn't see it.
"Clary said no," Jace said from a nearby bench. He had been content to just sit there and watch the two of them, his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses and a small smile seemingly etched on his face.
"Okay," CeeCee said, a little whine her voice.
Clary continued to push her on the swing for a few more minutes before her arms started to get too tired. She left CeeCee to her own devices and walked over to sit next to Jace on the uncomfortable plastic bench. Leaning back, she gently rested a hand on her stomach. Even though she still wasn't showing much, she constantly felt the need to place her hands on the small bump that was there.
"I'm glad we could do this," Jace said softly.
"Me, too," she replied, keeping her eyes trained on CeeCee despite the fact that she could feel Jace's gaze on her.
"She just lights up around you," he said. "Makes me a little jealous."
Clary turned her head toward him at that, a scoff escaping her lips. "Please, Jace. She absolutely adores you. A true daddy's girl through and through."
"She adores you, too. You give her things that I can't, and as her dad I want to be able to be everything that she needs, but the time since I've gotten her back has proven that I'm not."
"You're a working dad. It's physically impossible for you to give her everything. But you're doing what you need to do to provide for her. That's what's important. She knows she's loved and that you're there for her. Sometimes other people have to be there for her, too. Trust me on this, Jace. As a child of a single parent, I'm pretty well-versed in this stuff."
His gaze flicked to the hand she had resting on her abdomen. "You're going to be a great mother, Clare."
She swallowed around the lump forming in her throat. "And you're already a great father. Don't go getting all insecure on me now that you've got another one on the way. My child should get to experience confident, cocky Jace, too." she added, trying to lighten the mood. The conversation felt too heavy to be having on a park bench.
The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, and he turned his attention back to CeeCee. "When should we tell her?"
Clary shrugged. "It's ultimately up to you," she answered. "I would like to maybe wait until we know the sex, though."
"Why's that?"
"I know CeeCee really wants a sister, and if we just tell her she's getting a younger sibling she's going to be so excited about it being a girl, but—" She stopped talking, cutting herself off.
"But?" Jace prompted, looking at her again.
"Like I've said before, I just have this feeling that it's a boy, you know?"
He shrugged. "I think she'll be happy either way, but if you want to wait until we can tell her whether it's a little brother or sister, we can do that."
"It's going to be a boy," she stated.
He chuckled at that but didn't make a remark. They continued to sit there, moving on to talk about more inconsequential topics, while still paying close attention to CeeCee as she ran about the park. She eventually made her way over to them, complaining about being hungry.
They started their journey to a little bistro a few blocks away from the park. As usual, CeeCee walked a few steps ahead of Jace and Clary, where they could keep an eye on her. As they made their way down the sidewalk, Jace cautiously reached out and took Clary's hand in his. She glanced up at him, trying to ignore the tingling she felt at the simple touch.
"Is this okay?" he asked.
She gave a small nod, and he gently squeezed her hand in response, a radiant smile lighting up his face. Her heart ached knowing that something as small as holding hands could make him so happy. She knew their separation had been hard on him, too, but seeing evidence of it made her realize just how much.
They walked in a companionable silence until they reached the small bistro. The three of them were seated at a square table outside, an umbrella keeping the sun off them. Clary sat across from Jace with CeeCee on her right. Once they ordered, Clary began chatting with CeeCee.
The little girl talked animatedly about some of the kids she played with at the park. She talked about how she was excited to go back to school in the fall because one of them was actually going to be in her class. Clary kept her on the topic of school. Even though it was still a little while way, she thought it would be a good idea to keep CeeCee focused on something positive and in the future.
Their meals arrived, and Clary continued to talk with CeeCee as they ate. Every once in a while she would glance in Jace's direction. Just like at the park, he seemed content to just sit there and observe the two of them.
When they were all done eating, Clary took CeeCee into the bathroom to wash her hands and wipe off her face. She got the red stains from spaghetti sauce off with a wet paper towel, and they joined Jace again outside. This time, he didn't hesitate before linking his fingers with hers as they started their way back to his apartment.
Outside his building, Clary went to let go of his hand so she could make her own way home, but he held on.
"Come up?" he asked when she gave him a questioning look. "I'm going to put CeeCee down for a nap, and I was thinking we could talk."
Clary bit the inside of her cheek, unsure of what she wanted to do. She didn't know what he would want to talk about. They'd spent such a nice day together, and she didn't want that to be ruined in case whatever conservation they had went south. When she saw the hopeful glint in his eyes, though, she found herself nodding.
Upstairs, Jace went to put CeeCee down, but she quickly volunteered to do it for him. She helped CeeCee take off her shoes and got her all settled in bed. She picked out a story to read. After their big afternoon, though, it wasn't long before CeeCee's eyes closed and her breathing evened out. Clary sat there for a few moments, just watching her sleep, before leaving to look for Jace.
He was sitting in the living room, his legs slightly spread and his forearms resting on his thighs. His eyes were trained on the floor, but he looked up as he heard her approach.
"Hey," he said as she down next to him. "Did she go down okay?"
"Out like a light," Clary replied. "Just make sure she doesn't sleep too long or she might have a hard time going to bed tonight."
He nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Did you have a good time today?"
"Yeah," she said, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing her ankles. "It was really nice."
"I'm glad." He pushed himself back into the couch and let out a sigh. "I don't want to push you for answers or anything, but you know me. I'm a planner, and there's so much uncertainty in our future right now and I need some general idea of what it might look like or I think I might go crazy."
Clary wanted to hit him with some retort about the state of limbo he had stuck her in, where she had no idea what was going on or where things were going, without the opportunity to ask questions. She bit back that response, though, taking a deep, calming breath instead. "Okay. What do you want to know?"
"The biggest thing, I guess, is if you're going to move and where. Because if you're moving, that—that closes a door on us, but it also complicates a lot of other things because I want and am going to be a part of our child's life. So I just—I need to know."
"I am moving," she said. When his face fell, she hurried to elaborate. "But just out of my apartment, Jace. I—I'm not leaving the city. And I don't plan to. Ever."
She watched the tension leave his body as he processed her response. "Good. That's good," he said. "Do you know where you're moving yet?"
She shook her head, picking at her nails. "I've just been looking around for now. I've still got some time before I need to make any decisions. I just want something safer and more family friendly than my current place if I'm going to be raising a kid."
"You'll always have a place here. I know you want to be on your own and have some space; I'm not trying to pressure you against that. I just want you to know that you always have somewhere to go."
"I really appreciate that, Jace," she said softly. "Did you just want to talk about me moving, or was there something else?"
"I, uh, heard you're leaving Pandemonium," he said.
"Yeah. I put in my notice. It's not really the type of job I want anymore with the path my life is taking now."
He nodded, bouncing his knee up and down. "Have you thought about what your next move is going to be?"
She shrugged and looked down at her hands. Talking about that part of her life wasn't something she felt like doing, especially with someone as successful as Jace. Even though he had never seemed to judge her, she didn't want to talk about how her options were limited. Without a college and only really having customer service experience, there wasn't much she felt she could do.
"Again, just kinda looking around at the moment. I'm thinking maybe waitressing or retail or something like that."
"Have you—Have you thought about going back to school?"
Letting out a scoff, she lifted her head to look at him. "I'm expecting a baby, Jace. I don't think going back to college is in the books for me right now. And that's not even touching on the financials of it." She had money saved away, but not anywhere near enough for college tuition, especially when a baby was about to be thrown into the mix.
"You could always look into doing something online. A degree could really open more doors for you." He took a deep breath. "And if money is an issue, I'd be willing to help you out."
She shook her head vigorously, angered by the fact he would even suggest that. "No. Absolutely not. I don't want handouts, and I don't want to be in your debt."
"It's not a handout, Clare," he said. "It's an investment in your future and, by extension, our future. I'm serious about fixing things with you, and once they are, I fully intend on marrying you. And then, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine."
Her heart fluttered at the thought of marriage, but she gave him a level look. "We can talk about me going back to school when that happens, then. But not right now."
One corner of his mouth lifted up. "So what I'm hearing is that it will happen."
She knew she still wanted a future with Jace, but she hadn't meant to make that known yet. He still had a lot of making up to do.
"It might," she said, forcing her voice to sound casual. "Anything's possible."
Clary laid back on the exam table, Jace's hand clutched tightly in hers. The sound of a swooshing heartbeat filled the room, and Jace squeezed Clary's hand as his eyes stared at the grainy black and white image on the screen. Clary had only glanced at the screen before focusing on Jace's expression. His eyes were wide and shined with unshed tears.
"We're having a baby," he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.
"We're having a baby," she parroted, her own tears sliding down her face. Actually having him there with her as they looked at the life growing within her brought up emotions she hadn't experienced before during her appointments. There was just something different about sharing the experience with another person, especially when that person helped created that life.
"I mean, I knew we were having a baby," he said, "but it seems so much more real now."
She nodded, familiar with the feeling. She didn't say anything, though, and the doctor took the silence as an invitation to start speaking. He told them that everything was looking good and like it should be. He also mentioned that they should be able to learn the sex at her next appointment. After he was done, he told her to take her time cleaning up and getting dressed and reminded her to make another appointment on her way out.
Once the doctor was gone, Clary let go of Jace's hand so she could get ready to leave. In her peripheral, she saw Jace try to discreetly wipe at his eyes.
"They usually give me a disc of the sonogram after each appointment, if you want it," she said as she righted her shirt.
"That'd be great. Thanks," he replied, standing up.
She started to move to the door, but he moved in front of her. She looked up at him with a questioning gaze, but he just stared at her for a moment, seeming to be debating something internally. He finally reached forward slowly and gently took her face in his hands.
"You can say no, and I'll leave it alone. I'll go at whatever pace you want. I will spend the next fifty years doing nothing but hold your hand if that's where you want to draw the line. But fuck, Clare, I want to kiss you so bad right now. Can I?"
She searched his eyes and found nothing but pure, unhindered love reflecting in them. Her heart hammered in her chest, and a small yes escaped her lips. He immediately covered her mouth with his, and she felt a familiar warmth spread throughout her body.
The kiss was short and sweet, but it still left her breathless. Part of her hated that her body had such an innate reaction to him. The other part of her loved it.
He pulled back and grinned at her. "Thank you."
She just nodded dumbly at him, trying to figure out how a simple kiss could still have such a big effect on her. He grabbed her hand, and they made their way back to the reception desk. Like she had said, there was a disc waiting for them, and Clary handed it to Jace. The receptionist asked what date and time would work for her next appointment, and Clary looked at Jace.
"What would be best for you?" she asked.
His eyes widened slightly. "You want me to come?"
It was a completely different experience having him with her, and she didn't want to give that up. She also didn't want him to miss out on anything, and if they could find out the sex at the next one, she definitely wanted him with her. "Yeah. You're the father, and I just thought you'd want to. I mean, I kind of want you there, but if you don't—"
"No, I want to," he said cutting her off. "Pick whatever's best for you and I'll make sure I'm there, okay?"
She set it up and asked for an extra appointment card to give to Jace. He took the small piece of paper from her before taking her hand in his again. They stepped out into the muggy New York air and began the walk to where Jordan was in a car waiting for them.
"Are you hungry?" he asked as they got in the car. "We could stop for lunch or something."
She was hungry, but she was also exhausted and the last thing she wanted to do was deal with any sort of lunch rush. "Rain check? I kinda just want to go home."
He looked slightly crestfallen but nodded. "Sure. Um, there's something I need to talk to you about. Do you think I could come over for a bit?"
She bit back a sigh. Not that long ago she had been begging him to talk to her, but now she couldn't seem to get him to stop wanting to talk. All she wanted to do was go home and take a nap. "Can it wait? I'm really tired," she said, a small whine in her voice.
"It could, but it's about Raphael and Valentine. I think it would be best to talk sooner rather than later."
An unsettling feeling took up residence in her stomach. "Yeah, okay, you can come over."
"I'll make it quick. I promise."
It wasn't long before they pulled up outside her building and Jace was following her into her apartment. She offered him something to drink, but he politely declined as he sat down on her couch. She took a seat next to him, and he placed a hand on her knee.
"Remember how I told you Raphael and Valentine were being interrogated, and that's how we got all the information on what happened?"
"Yeah."
He took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, it turns out all that information came solely from Valentine. He took a deal with the prosecution and confessed to get a lighter sentence."
Her brow furrowed. "Okay. That's good, isn't it? He'll still get jail time and everything, right?"
"Yeah. Valentine's going to go to prison. But Raphael is claiming he's not guilty, which means his case is going to go to trial."
She felt her stomach knot up. "But how? If Valentine confessed everything then how can Raphael say he didn't do anything? He pulled a gun on me in front of a party full of people for God's sake!"
Jace squeezed her knee. "I know, Clare. There's no way a jury isn't going to find him not guilty, and I think he knows it, too."
"Then why is he even bothering with it?"
"To play mind games." He swallowed hard. "There's a good chance you're going to get called on to testify, Clare. You were there when CeeCee was taken and you were the one he aimed a gun at."
"That's not too bad," she said. "All I'd have to do is explain what happened both nights."
He grimaced. "Not exactly. Both sides know about your relationship with him, and I doubt either of them are going to play nicely with it. The prosecution has connected the dots with your medical history during the time you were together, and they're probably going to dredge that up to give him a negative character. I have no idea what the defense has up their sleeve, but I bet Raphael is planning something to try to humiliate you in front of that room full of people. He wants to hurt you, Clare."
Her chest tightened and she suddenly found it difficult to get enough air in her lungs. "I—I can't do that, Jace."
"If they call on you, you won't have a choice," he said softly. He removed his hand from her knee and instead took bother her hands in his. "But I will be there every step of the way and I already have my legal team talking with the prosecution trying to make sure certain lines aren't crossed, but they can't guarantee anything."
Anxiety was burrowing its way into her chest, but she was able to acknowledge his statement with a small tilt of her head. "Is there anything else?" she asked. "I was serious about being tired, and I would like to lie down." That was even more true now.
"No, that was it," he said, standing and pulling her up with him. "I just wanted to let you know and give you plenty of time to prepare."
"Thanks," she said quietly.
"I'll leave and let you rest," he said. "But let me know if you need anything, even if it's only to talk."
"Okay, I will," she responded, offering him a weak smile.
He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug and kissed her forehead before leaving. She locked the door behind him and went straight to her bedroom. She changed out of her clothes and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tank before climbing into bed.
She pulled to covers up over her head and folded herself into a fetal position. Jace's words weighed heavily on her mind. She had thought that everything with Raphael had been put behind her when he was arrested, but he just couldn't let her go. She was beginning to question if she would ever really be free of him.
Trying to push thoughts of trials and Raphael out of her head, she buried her head into the mattress and willed sleep to overtake her.
A knock sounded at the door, and she quickly took one last look at herself in the mirror. Her hair fell in soft, frizz-free curls around her face and she had minimal makeup on to highlight her natural features. A spaghetti strapped dress hugged her body, showing off her small bump, and fell about midthigh. She smoothed out the charcoal grey material, then mentally chastised herself for fretting over her appearance.
It was just Jace. He had turned her rain check on lunch into a dinner date. They had been on plenty of dates before, and she knew there was no reason for her to try to impress him. But it was also their first date since everything happened, and part of her felt the need to try to make the occasion more special.
She opened the apartment door to find him standing on her doorstep in a pair of slacks and a dark blue button down. His eyes roamed over her body as he stepped into her apartment. He placed a kiss on her cheek before moving his lips to her ear.
"You are absolutely stunning," he whispered before stepping back.
She felt the heat rise in her cheeks and mumbled a thanks to him.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked.
"Yeah, just let me grab my things," she said.
After grabbing her purse and slipping her phone into it, she followed Jace outside. They got into his car, and he reached over the center console to hold her hand as he started driving.
"I'm really glad you agreed to this," he said, his gaze focused on the road in front of him.
"I've never been one to turn down a free meal," she joked.
He glanced at her, the corner of his mouth lifting. "Awfully presumptuous of you to think I'm paying."
She laughed, turning her head to look at him. "I have it on good authority that you, like a gentleman, always offer to pay."
"I might have to start mixing things up, then."
"You can mix things up as much as you want," she said. "As long as you start after tonight."
"Hmm. I'll keep that in mind." He lifted her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles.
He pulled into a parking spot outside of a small, brick building and shut off the car. He was out of the car and opening Clary's door before she even had her seatbelt undone. They walked into the restaurant, his hand on the small of her back.
Behind the unassuming brick exterior was a small, dimly lit Italian restaurant. Jace gave the hostess behind the podium his name, and they were led to a small round table near the middle of the room. The hostess placed their menus on the table before lighting a candle that sat in the center. She left, letting them know their server would be right with them.
"This is nice," Clary noted as she opened the menu, surprised to find everything was English and that the menu items actually had their prices next to them.
"I know you're not a big fan of the flashy restaurants, so I wanted to choose something more in the middle," he said, picking up his own menu. "I've been here a few times in the past. It's family owned and might just be the best Italian food I've ever had."
She quirked an eyebrow at him, biting back a smile. "Better than Olive Garden?"
He gasped dramatically. "You did not just say that, Clary. Mentioning you-know-what in an Italian restaurant is like saying Macbeth in a theater."
A giggle escaped her as she looked at him over her menu. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"
"You're the ridiculous one for comparing Olive Garden to authentic Italian food."
She shrugged, a smile playing at her lips as she looked back at the menu. "I like their breadsticks."
He rolled his eyes, but before he could make a rebuttal, their waiter appeared. They placed their orders, Jace declining a bottle of wine for the table. They chatted throughout the meal, and Clary was glad they were able to easily slip back into the way they had been. The only other times they had been together they either had CeeCee as a buffer were having a very serious conversation. She had been worried about the date being terribly awkward, but they were able to talk about menial things and joke around like before.
They were waiting for dessert when Jace's phone pinged with a text, and he quickly glanced at it. He released a small grown and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes settled on hers, an apologetic look on his face.
"I'm really sorry, but Imogene is having some trouble with CeeCee, and I need to—"
Clary put up a hand, cutting him off. "Don't apologize," she said. "Let's go."
They gathered their things and Jace threw a few bills down on the table before they made a hasty exit. Clary chewed on her thumbnail as she sat in the passenger seat of Jace's car on the way to his apartment. Her mind was running a million miles a minute. Jace glanced at her a few times before speaking and breaking the silence.
"What's got you thinking so hard?" he asked.
"When you say Imogene's having trouble with CeeCee, what do you mean?" she asked.
He didn't say anything at first, and she was about to say something when he finally spoke. "She, uh, she has nightmares. I've been taking her to a therapist, and it's helped some, but it's still a little hit or miss if I'm not there when she goes down, whether it's for a nap or for bed."
"Oh," she said meekly, a wave of guilt hitting her.
She had spent so much time going on about how much she cared about CeeCee, yet she hadn't known this important detail. She had focused on making sure CeeCee was physically okay, but she had never paused to make sure she was doing okay emotionally and mentally. She had never really taken the time to ask about how CeeCee was adapting. She realized she hadn't even asked about what happened to her.
She swallowed thickly, her eyes glued to a speck on the passenger window. "What—What did he do to her?"
"Nothing," Jace said quickly. "Well, obviously not nothing, but he didn't hurt her or anything. He wasn't a complete piece of shit apparently. All he did was tell her that he was Daddy's friend and they were going to play for a bit. I guess all she did while there was play and watch TV and stuff. The nightmares are coming from the physical act of being taken and the fact that she couldn't see or talk to me when she wanted and needed to. We're working on getting her to understand that that's not going to happen again."
Clary didn't say anything, her throat tightening and eyes burning with tears. She felt so terrible for not knowing any of that. This wasn't even an instance where she wanted to blame Jace. She'd technically never taken the initiative to ask. It had never crossed her mind to ask. The few times she'd been near CeeCee, the little girl had seemed completely fine. Clary felt like she should have known better. She wasn't around CeeCee all the time, and it had been naïve to think that she came out of the whole experience A-Okay.
She sniffled a little as Jace pulled into the parking garage. She hoped he hadn't heard it, but he asked her what was wrong once the car was no longer moving. She just shook her head at him, telling him they'd talk later.
Inside the apartment, CeeCee was sitting on the couch in a pair of pajamas. Her face was streaked with tears as a cartoon played on the television. A very distraught Imogene hovered near by.
The second Clary and Jace walked in, CeeCee jumped off the couch yelling "Daddy!" She ran over, throwing her little arms around his legs. He bent over to pick her up and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"And Miss Clary!" CeeCee added, noticing her standing there. Her arms stretched out toward Clary, and Jace passed her over.
"Hey, sweet girl," she said, using one hand to hold her up and the other to push some hair out of CeeCee's face.
"Did you have a bad dream again?" Jace asked, placing a hand on her cheek.
She nodded, tears immediately springing to her eyes. "I couldn't find you, and then I woke up and you weren't here," she cried out.
Jace wiped the tears from her face. "But I'm here now. Would you like me to tuck you back in?"
"Can Miss Clary do it?" she asked, wrapping her arms around Clary's neck.
Clary froze at her question, unsure of what to do. She looked over at Jace, who was smiling softly at them.
"Of course," he said, taking his hand from CeeCee's face. "I'll just wait out here."
Clary walked CeeCee to the bathroom first. She took a wet washcloth and cleaned the salty water from CeeCee's cheeks. She then went to CeeCee's room, gently placing her on her bed. "Do you want to talk more about your dream?" she asked, pulling the blanket up to CeeCee's chin.
Her head moved left to right and back again. "No," she said, her bottom lip trembling. "Will you sing me a song?"
"Of course, sweet girl."
Clary sang through The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers, which only left CeeCee a giggling mess. She moved on to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and CeeCee just ended up singing along. Clary's next move was to sing a song she had heard on the radio recently, and it didn't take long for CeeCee to fall asleep.
Carefully moving herself off the bed, Clary dropped a kiss to CeeCee's forehead before exiting. Jace wasn't in the living room where she had left him, but she quickly found him in the kitchen. He was leaning against one of the counters, a glass of water next to him.
"Hey," he said when she entered. "Sounds like you two were having a lot of fun."
She rolled her eyes, leaning on the counter that was opposite of him. "She wanted me to sing her a song, and it took me a few tries to get her to sleep."
He chuckled. "That sounds about right when it comes to songs. I always try to convince her to do a story instead," he said, picking up his glass and taking a drink. "So, do you wanna tell me what that was in the car earlier?"
She looked at his chest, not meeting his eyes. "It was nothing."
"Clary," he drawled.
"Jace," she mimicked.
He reached over so his fingertips touched her hand. "What happened to not keeping secrets?"
She pursed her lips, annoyed that he had a point. She couldn't expect him to be open and honest if she wasn't willing to do it in return.
"Talk to me, Clare."
"I never asked how she was," she said. "I made sure that I saw she really was home and safe, but I left it at that. I never asked what happened or how she was doing now that she's back. How can I say I love her when I didn't worry about any of that? I took everything at face value and didn't try to dive deeper. I should have known she wasn't doing as well as it seemed. I should have been able to sense that."
She was in tears again by time she finished, heavy sobs wracking her body. Jace didn't hesitate to pull her to him, letting her bury her face into his shirt. He combed his hand through her hair, making shushing noises until she finally calmed down.
He ran a hand up and down her back as she quieted down. "It's okay, Clare," he soothed. "There's nothing wrong with that. You've had a lot going on, too. And you weren't there, to no fault of your own, when she first came back or when she gave her statement or when she had her first nightmare. There's no way you could have known, and it honestly didn't cross my mind to tell you. I was so focused on having you back in our lives, and I didn't think about it."
"But I should have asked," she said, her voice muffled by his body.
"You couldn't have known to ask, Clary. Any time you've been around her, she's happened to be doing well. There's nothing to feel bad or guilty about."
She turned her head, her cheek resting against him. "How can I be a good mother if I don't just know these things?" she asked, voicing her fears out loud.
He kissed the crown of her head. "Hate to break it to you, but that's not how parenting works. As much as people talk about a mother's intuition, there are going to be a lot of things you won't know about right away. There is no way to just know things."
"I wish there was," she mumbled.
He chuckled lightly. "We all wish that, Clare. And I already told you, you're going to be a great mom. Seeing the way you've been with CeeCee, there's absolutely nothing to worry about." He gently pushed her back just enough to be able to look down at her. His hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away the wetness under her eyes. "Are you feeling better now?"
She nodded meekly, looking up at him. "Sorry for breaking down like that. Hormones, I guess."
"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you did. I want to know what you're feeling." He looked above her head and let out a small sigh. "It's kind of late. Do you want to just stay here for the night?"
Her heart screamed yes. She was feeling vulnerable and wanted the comfort of being near Jace. She wanted to be there in case CeeCee had another nightmare and needed someone. She didn't want to go home to a cold and empty apartment.
Her mind told her no, though. They should be taking things slow. She needed her space. She didn't want to fall back into old habits. So, she offered him a sad smile. "I don't think that would be a very good idea, Jace."
He frowned but nodded. "You're probably right. At least let me get someone to take you home?"
She was slightly disappointed that he didn't push the issue, but agreed to a ride, not feeling like taking the subway or dealing with a cab. Jordan took her home, and she immediately stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed. As she started to drift off, she tried her best to ignore the tug in her chest that made her regret not taking Jace up on his offer.
Sorry I've been MIA. I just graduated and have been struggling through the job search and haven't had much time/emotional energy for writing. I hope to update sooner next time and am looking to have this wrapped up in a few more chapters!