"Ben, how old are you?"

Rey nearly always started with his name, doing her very best to solidify that she believed the change. Maybe a part of her was hoping that the more she said it the more he would believe it too. They sat facing each other on the small bunk in the common area. He was by no means a small person, it was crowded, he was hunched forward as though trying to somehow make himself smaller. Rey seemingly hadn't noticed when she sat down next to him.

Even so, he looked slightly worried, Kylo Ren had been arrogant and overly sure of himself, but Ben Solo… well, he wasn't even sure who Ben Solo was anymore.

"I was almost 23 when i stopped following the teaching of the light." He said stiffly, "That was… nearly 8 years past."

"You were so young." She said, stepping across the common room to walk into Han's quarters. "It must have been terrifying."

"Older than you are now." He countered, regarding her sudden exit curiously, catching himself being too eager and leaned back into the bunk. "Yet you saved the Light Side of the force, became a Jedi, finished a revolution. When i was your age i was still considered a moody Padawan."

Rey dug through the surprisingly deep closet; smiling at the mental picture of a younger, less troubled Ben before Palpatine. "Luke has said you were a gifted calligraphist"

"He said that?" Ben felt his ears begin to turn red. That's new. "Luke... Master Luke, he found that oneness with the Force wasn't always enhanced or understood solely in combat. He encouraged those in training to find non-violent pursuits" He trailed off faintly. "Especially the ones that didn't enjoy opening themselves up to their darker tendencies."

An orange and white droid which seemed vaguely familiar rolled past, bleeping what sounded like swear words. Intrigued, he watched it's movement until it disappeared around the corner, still trying to place the thing.

Rey returned from Han's room, carrying a bundle of folded clothes in her hands. She sat too close again, knees knocking against his absurdly long legs. Rey tried to ignore the way he flinched at any physical contact and wondered what his life had been like in the 8 years since his break with the Light.

"I found these," She said. "They seem to be your taste, I think it'll be cold where we're going."
He stared down at the clothes and realized they were all black. He smiled, chuckling to himself. "They don't have to be black..."

Rey felt herself flush at the sight and sound, it was perhaps the first time she had ever heard him laugh, covering it gently with. "Thank you. You're meant to say thank you. Now, I'm going to go up to talk to Finn and Poe about this incredibly awkward turn of events- For them" She added when he looked at her in concern. "And while i'm up there, you can walk into that cabin, and choose whatever clothes you'd actually prefer... though... Han wasn't as" She gestured to his shoulders. "broad, as you are. So it's a bit more difficult then you'd imagine."

With that she stood, patted his leg and left the room.

"So what's the plan?" Poe asked, after the silence in the cockpit drug on. "I mean. Currently we have a dead-"

"Resurrected." Finn interrupted

Poe exhaled, and conceded, "Fine, Not-as-dead-as-once-thought, ex-sith-"

"Ennh, he might still be a Sith."

Poe made a face, acquiesced after a moment and continued, again. "Right, Potentially still Sith... guy. Who also happens to be related to one of my closest friends-"

"Who he then murdered-"

"Arguably, it appeared that Leia actually sacrificed herself to bring him back to the light..."

Finn gave him a dirty look. "But Han though."

Poe winced, "Han on the other hand..."

"Still maybe a sacrificial death?"

Both inhaled through their teeth and scrunched their faces.

A blip on their radar, they both checked. It wasn't close enough to tell anything.

Poe continued, knowing that it had to be discussed before the two Force Users in question remembered that other people existed. "I mean..." He finally said "Rey seems to think he's changed."

"He's definitely different." Finn shrugged. "His Force... it's different."

"Oh so you can feel the Force now." Poe knew he sounded petulant, but then again he felt like he was always the one that found out things last.

"Well yeah, it's new."

"Is that what you were gonna tell Rey?"

"When?"

Poe shrugged, a bold attempt at nonchalance, absolutely unconvincing. "You know Pasaana. The sinking fields... your big secret you just had to get out before you died."

"Oh." Another blip, dang radar on old ships.

Poe leaned down and poked a button in annoyance when he looked back up Finn was staring at him, tilting his head like he was trying to listen to something far away. "You thought I was gonna tell her I loved her?"

Poe nodded after a long pause, Finn chuckled and rubbed his face, he sounded tired. "Nah man, that's not... she's... that would have been super cheesy. I was just gonna tell her i had it too... I understood what she was going through, that she wasn't completely alone."

"Turns out you didn't have to worry about her being alone. Cause now we've got the Jedi Killer in the galley." It was an attempt at a joke, this was a big problem with Poe, unable to take the right situations seriously.

"Ex."

"Right, right, Ex-Jedi Killer." Poe's head snapped around, "Wait, who's side are you on?" When Finn didn't answer, he continued anxiously.

"What do you uh... what do you feel from him?"

"Ren?"

Poe nodded.

"The thing is" Finn checked the hallway. "I'm really not sure... like... if i had never met the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren in person; and then met the guy in there I wouldn't know they were the same person. That guy just feels different. And when he's with Rey, especially now- they're... it's like... it's like they're more themselves when they're with each other than they are apart." His shoulders bounced nervously. "I don't know. It sounds crazy..."

These monologues were honestly something Poe found ridiculously attractive about him. You take a stormtrooper who literally was raised to abhor emotions, and somehow you got this guy who cares more deeply about everything more than anyone else in the galaxy. Who then has the audacity to be embarrassed about it.

It was this brief intense bolt of fondness which pushed the pilot to mutter the next sentence before his brain caught up with the wisdom of such a statement.

"So what do you feel from... me?" He said it so quietly, an afterthought; more of a breath than a sentence. Finn didn't look up, kept his eyes on the view screen.

Finn hadn't heard it.

The pilot couldn't tell if he was more relieved or disappointed, he leaned over the console self-consciously.

Poe heard the chair squeak and Finn was grabbing him by the lapels and breathing into his face like he'd run a marathon. When he kissed him, it was way too hard, and not the right angle, and it nearly turned into a headbutt. The pain seemed to jar him from the surprise and Poe finally found his brain underneath all the shock; grabbing the sides of Finn's face, holding him still for just a moment.

"That." Finn said, clearing his throat his voice suddenly deeper. "Uh, that's what I feel from you."

Three chirps, a long buzz. "Millennium Falcon is that you?" A familiar voice over the intercom.

"Are we being hailed?" They jumped apart, Rey had appeared from nowhere and seemingly hadn't noticed their faces inches apart.

"Uh... uh uh." Poe whirled to face the controls and started pushing buttons aimlessly. "Yeah. And you're not going to believe who found us."

Ben tried to ignore a lot of the things that were currently happening in this particular moment. Meditation wasn't enough.

Seconds after returning from the bridge she'd noticed him move with a slight stiffness. Arguing wasn't enough for her, so now, he was facedown, chest pressed against the fabric and metal, and as if things couldn't get worse- she'd demanded he remove his shirt so she could see and treat the laserburn wound from their time on Tatooine. He stared at the pattern in the fabric, wondering what could make this situation any more awkward.

"Well kid, i wasn't expecting to find you here" Lando Calrissian stood in the hatch opening and took in the scene before him. From his shirtless resurrected nephew to the Jedi Savior nearly straddling said nephew. He chuckled at their guilty surprised expressions and continued to climb the final steps into the Falcon. The two heard Chewie before they saw him, yelling from his place lower down on the entry ladder.

Rey squealed in delight and untangled herself from Ben Solo, rushing to hug the man who had barely stepped inside. Ben raised carefully, his skin still sensitive from the bacta. He stood and pulled his shirt on wincing, Poe and Finn came from somewhere.

He tilted his head at the Force which swept in with them. Something was very different. He looked to Rey to see if she noticed as well, but she was embracing the Wookie who had finally managed to enter. The stormtrooper- Finn, was staring, appraising, while Ben himself, stood awkwardly to one side and watched the little tribe reunite. They eyeballed each other with mutual curiosity, the Force prickling in the cabin. The wookie called out something and Finn was pushed forward into the mass of fur distracting both.

Lando passed the chattering group to stand before Han's son. Regarding him intently, forcing the taller man to maintain eye contact, "I didn't think i'd ever manage to see you again on this side of the Force, eh buddy?" He smiled, a smile that legends had been written about, and without further preamble embraced the boy tightly. "You look just like your parents, you know that? Chewie!" He called back over his shoulder. "Get a look at this kid,"

The room tensed as Chewie extricated himself from Finn's hug, and turned to look at the tall man who had been his friend, then his enemy, and now...

The Wookie padded forward, unreadable as usual. He wasn't as huge as Ben remembered, but equally as intimidating. He raised one massive paw and laid it on Ben's shoulder, they were nearly eye-to-eye.

The silence was broken by an ear-splitting shout from the Wookie, and Lando laughed raucously even as Chewie grabbed Ben and pulled him to his chest in an even tighter hug than Lando's.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Lando roared and inserted himself into the embrace.

Over their conjoined shoulders Ben met Rey's eyes, And if anyone noticed the tears on both of their faces, they didn't comment.

Thank you

The Falcon was packed with crew; ringing with noise that hadn't been heard since Han had picked up two mysterious men on Tatooine all those years ago. Now with Lando and Chewie's ship docked with theirs as they meandered across the galaxy, things felt a bit less pressured and silent.

Ben had been told that he should take his father's cabin. Rey insisted, saying it wasn't her place, and that she preferred the triple bunk system of the extended crew quarters. After all the emotional drain of the afternoon spent listening to Lando explain what he'd been up to since Exogol, the former Sith wasn't sure he had the energy to argue with her. The galaxy was in a state of uproar since the destruction of the fleet as fear and hope tended to be two sides of the same coin.

Most planets were split into two groups, those that wanted to become completely autonomous with self-run governments, and those that were caught in a power vacuum of worse leadership than under the Empire. The death of General Leia on top of the First Order's destruction of Hosnian Prime- and with it Republic City- had not caused a great deal of trust in the Republic itself. Lando and Chewie had spent most of their time traveling from system to system requesting world leaders to consider taking part in the Summit of Peoples. Ben listened with a combination of curiosity and guilt, especially after being raised by a politician and then a tyrant.

Chatter from down the hall broke him from his reverie. The others had been in high spirits ever since the reveal of a case of "imported" Corellian Ale which Chewie and Lando had brought with them. The youngest Skywalker politely declined when offered a small glass and no one commented despite the fact that the entire group had tensed.

"I don't drink." He said quietly.

"Is that like a Sith thing?" Poe asked.

Ben paused, wincing at the question very slightly before raising his eyes to meet the pilot's, his countenance forcibly free of any emotions.

"No. The Order is far less restrictive about such behavior. It is a personal preference. Knowing my own weaknesses." He excused himself and stood, saying something to the affect of not being used to the standard time equilibrium onboard and slipped off toward the main cabin.

Finn punched Poe in the arm as soon as the small group heard the gentle whoosh of the door shutting. "Kriff man, way to be subtle"

Poe shook his head, tipsy and flustered. "Listen, I was just curious-"

Rey ignored their continued bickering watching the empty hall for a long time before being drawn back into their goodnatured discussion. Lando watched her and smiled knowingly, catching her eye and offering her another drink.

Screams echoed, a cry of fear cutting into Rey's sleep as sure as any knife. She startled upright, only the Force itself preventing her from busting her head on the low bunk.

The internal 'freshers' beep broke the silence of sleep-breathing from Poe and Finn who slept seemingly unaffected by the noise. Her brain wobbled in the sudden consciousness as the effects of the ale still held despite her sleep. The Jedi forced herself to breathe deeply and calm the beating of her heart.

In and out. In and out.

The same cry of pain clamored its way into her ear; she grabbed her head in pain to no avail. The others seemed not notice, the noise had dwindled into a sobbing echo. It was not a physical sound, but a Force amplified pain.

She stood from her bunk, carefully trying to organize her still-swimming senses to find the source. The third time the wail began she was more prepared, Finn stirred slightly. His sensitivity was strong if he was picking up this without a modicum of training. She made a slurry mental note to check in with him in the morning. She should offer to teach him to meditate if nothing else.

Rey swayed into the common room, past the table still filled with their half-empty glasses and down the short hall toward the origin.

Han's cabin.

The sharpness of the cry had softened in the time of her walk, now it was a dull and constant ache. Tiny tremors of the scream from before occasionally flickered into her consciousness only serving to intensify the throb. She tapped very gently on the door.

"Ben?" She called softly aloud, closing her eyes and focusing on repeating his name into their open connection. "Are you alright?"

His side of the bond was gaping and raw. She could see it now in her mind's eye and it roared back at her. The jedi steeled herself, sensing how dangerous it was to step into another being's shadow, especially with the bond they shared.

But he'd come back to her when she was alone and lost, and though she did not exist to fix him, she knew that they were meant to face the darkness together. The wall of pain buckled at the slightest push; instantly she was assaulted with images and memories, sights and sounds. The interior of the Falcon fell away and she was standing inside a maelstrom of sensation. Past and present conjoined and roiling. She felt sick, falling to the ground and fighting to keep control and not lose herself inside the deluge that was Ben Solo.

"Ben?" She yelled against the abyss, back on her feet and swaying slightly, regaining a slight hold on the physical she pressed both palms agains the solid door to his quarters. Her call echoed past the barrier of his mind; punching a hole through the monstrous storm. The physical door whooshed open, unbalanced she fell inward towards the black interior of his room; tripping over his absurdly long form curled in on itself and shivering on the floor.

Physical and mental collided with increasing intensity, she was struggling to maintain the balance and control between the two. Unbound his Force was an imploding star held within a mortal man; a warrior to be feared erupting a blind rage that threatened to suffocate her.

She knelt beside him, struggling to pull the much larger man upright and leaned back against her chest, cradling his head in her hands. Her heart clenched as he remembered the last time they were in a similar position, reversed. The memories flowing from her into him caused a reaction to the feral nature of his mind, he quieted at her touch.

The realization struck again that she was definitely still somewhat inebriated, complicating matters, now noticing how hard it was for her own emotions and thoughts to not flow back toward him unfiltered. She chose to focus on simple things, calming tasks that might orient him back to a place of consciousness. Rey stroked her fingers gently through his hair, struck by its softness. A warm feeling spread at the soft feeling of his body instinctively drawn toward hers. Ben turned his face inward, curling into her form, his long nose brushing her collarbones tickling the exposed skin.

"Why are you here?" He asked, his voice quiet within the loudness of his memories, it was the first time since she'd woken that she felt him as a unique presence in the pain. "You are not safe here. Not with me." She saw the memory of her hissing the word murderer, her own face contorted with detestation at his very presence echoing into a self-loathing.

Her master, Luke, had once told her that she held no secrets on her face; what she thought, she expressed. Now, experiencing this memory from his point of view, she felt, rather than saw what Ben had felt at her words. He had been so curious, so exposed. To her surprise he had found her beautiful, even covered with fury, perhaps even more so.

Rey willed him away from those memories, perhaps not ready for what they would reveal, or even if he would want her sifting through them like old holoscans. She gently guided his mind into the present, offering soothing images and words to him like she would a wild thing.

As the moments passed she relaxed into the heady sensation of sharing consciousness.

When their bond was new, it was detestable and horrifying. Through her training it became less loathsome and more comforting. Learning that the fearsome Kylo Ren was not bothered by her darkness, and she was so frustratingly confident in the Light he might still contain. Through the tumult of emotions leading up to Exogol neither could explain nor completely trust the bond they shared. Yet in those last moments of his life they had been one: one soul, one mind in the face of certain defeat.

Here though, in this cabin, she found it felt right to share everything with him. No bars or limits to their attachment, all things ebbing and flowing between them as waves between ocean and shore.

Her fingers stilled on the side of his face. Thumb gently tracing his cheekbones; circling the edge of his ear peeking out from under his hair.

"You don't like your ears?" She asked, observing and translating the series of images and feelings emerging; still teasing the delicate skin, his eyes still tightly shut against the onslaught of his demons. He didn't answer, but made no attempt to hide the faded memories of children's' teasing, long hair grown to keep them out of view as a young boy. So lonely, always searching.

Rey unbidden remembered the moment on Exogol, when she realized who had come for her; the no-name scavenger, granddaughter of the Galaxy's greatest foe standing alone to face evil incarnate.

He chose her.

Over vengeance and rage and power he'd chosen her. Knowing that it would be likely that neither would make it out alive.

The memory of it had kept her awake late into the night in those weeks after his death, the equally thrilling and devastating knowledge of what might have been. Her heart ached with the recollection of the moment he fell, infinite silence in a place where there had unfathomable joy.

Ben Solo followed her down the eerie non-sequitur of memories, and when they'd arrived at the echo of Exogol, physical tears jarred him from their Force-bound commune.

He remembered how to open his eyes and turning to look up at her, inches away. He wiped away her tears, not knowing how to comfort this spectacular being who had come willingly into his nightmare over and over again.

"Be with me" She said, brokenly through tears; Ben knew she could sense clearly what he felt for her, she understood the depth of it, the power of it, and still she asked him, unwavering.

Fear clouded his mind, and he drew back as though burnt, the familiar sounds and smells of the Falcon coming back into focus. She watched, unhurt by his panic, somehow serene and understanding. But her words resonated unbroken.

Be with me.

"They will not accept me." He said, when he found his voice, hoarse and despairing, he stood suddenly, trying to put distance between what he wanted and what he knew to be true. "I am a monster as you said-"

"-Let the past die." She intruded, forceful, certain. "Kill it if you must."

Be with me.

"I can't-"

"Kylo Ren is dead." Without warning she followed him across the space he had created between them, backing him into the corner and grabbing hold of his chin forcing his eyes down to hers; fire and desire burned unexpectedly in them, he couldn't look away. "You don't have to be afraid to take your second chance." She got up on her tip-toes; kissing his cheek, hand on the side of his face. "But I want it to be your choice. This time, take my hand."

She swept away a moment later, honestly a little concerned about her self-control, especially with him being so close, calling over her shoulder. "Are you hungry?"