We arrived in a clearing where may human-shaped targets were spread. The boys walk to the center while I follow them close by, looking at the surroundings.

Being in the open motivates me, I realize.

— You know, Izumi-chan, you are responsible for our delayed training! We would have come straight here if you hadn't made us look for you in the entirety of the Uchiha District! It's a big family! — The fact that Shisui's anger is fake is obvious because of the amusement in his eyes.

— I already apologized for the trouble, Shisui-san. What else can I do to make you forgive my hideous crime? — I answer dramatically, hidden mirth in my lips.

The older one grins.

— You can train with us!

I blink and let a small grim slip. One hand in my back, I feel myself getting embarrassed. I didn't know a lot about any them but I knew enough to know that Itachi was certified genius — before even entering the Academy.

— I can try, but if even half of the rumors about Itachi-san are true... there is no way I will be able to keep up. Besides... Shisui-san, you should already be in the Academy, no?

— Shisui is already genin, Izumi-san — Answers the younger one with his always serious face.

— Are you serious? — I ask way too surprised. There was no way he was twelve! — How old are you?

— I'm ten. It has been almost a year since my graduation — Mock arrogance is clear in his eyes and voice, but there is true pride there.

— Two prodigies, then? There is no way I will keep up... I probably don't know even half of what you two have already learned.

— Then we can teach you, right, Itachi?

— Why not? — Asks the boy shrugging — Teaching is one of the best ways to learn.

I look at them slightly surprised, especially of the heir. He sounded like an adult — not like someone pretending to be an adult like some kids in the clan, but like an... old soul I guess.

What had happened to that boy to make him that way? I couldn't stop thinking about it to be unnatural.

— I would be honored to be taught by you, Shisui-san, Itachi-san.

When the words leave my mouth I almost regret them. Shisui's arrogant smile grows, looking proud of himself.

— I will show how great I am as a senpai, Izumi-chan! Have you already learned the Great Fireball Jutsu?

I blink and shook my head, denying. The boy, still with a proud smile, practically fly through the hand signs and breaths.

The resulting flames are giant. He threw them up to not burn the forest, but the flames can be felt throughout the clearing. It burns big and hot.

— I am dutifully impressed — I say with a slightly amused smile. The jutsu is infamous inside the clan and was know by most of our ninjas. It is normally passed father to son, but considering the situation I was in, I felt grateful for the boy's interest to teach me.

— You already know the hand seals, right? — I nod to the boy — The right order is Snake, Tiger, Bull, Rabbit, and Tiger. Concentrate the chakra in your lungs and see it turning in flames.

I follow the boy's direction with confidence. It was in my blood, right? I don't speed through the seals as the boy did, but I complete them. I hold the chakra in the chest, breath in and then out, putting a loto f strength into it. And... nothing happens. Shisui is rolling with laughter while Itachi seems rather amused.

— Izumi-san — Says the younger boy, trying to counsel me — Try to feel you chakra nature. Imagine it, feel the heat, the flames, make it change.

I furrow my brows, without really grasping what he is saying. Changing nature is something way to abstract, and only thinking about it made me confused.

The younger one presses his lips and thinks.

— Hold your breath — Instructs the boy and I obey him — Now do the hand signs, without letting the air go.

I do as he says, and feel the lack o fair starts to pressure. When I finally finish the seals, the boys continue:

— Feel the burn of the lack of air and multiply it. Feel it burn through your body and then push it.

Flames, heat, pain. I feel the chakra concentrating even more in my lungs, and with all the force I could possibly muster I exhale. This time, a small flame is released. I feel annoyed and turn to the boys, meeting Shisui's eyes — the Sharingan stares at me. Without being able to hold back, I look deep into the redness. As an Uchiha, it was expected of me to already be used to the doujutsu, but my mother had never awoken it and my father refused to show it to me.

I expected it to be unnatural, but looking at them in Shisui I can't stop thinking it's strangely beautiful.

Shisui was a handsome boy. With his black and messy hair, his smooth skin and his expressive eyes, he was a perfect example of the Uchiha genes. But that deep red eyes, with the three tomoe spinning lazily, gave him a mysterious air.

The Sharingan was marvelous. It was intimidating and attractive at the same time. I imagined that the reason for its beauty was to make the use of genjutsus easier.

When I get hold of myself, I notest that I am close (too close) to the boy, who seems relaxed but curious.

— Normally, Uchihas are used to it.

— I had never seen one up close. They are...beautiful — I say, not being able to hold back — Maybe it's on purpose? They were made this way to attract and scare the enemy? Make them look closer and fear it?

— It does make sense — Answers Itachi, who is too getting closer, seeming curious because of my words — Mosto f the genjutsus are more efficient if the doujutsu connects with the target's eyes, and at the same time, it's good to a ninja to bear something that makes his enemies afraid even before facing it.

— It's really convenient, hm? — I say absently. We were almost corning the older one — It should be pretty useful too in information gathering missions...

— Could you two stop staring? — Asks Shisui angrily throwing his hands up — Respect you senpai!

I end up laughing and going back, the heir following me.

— Anyway — Says the genin, looking calmer — With the Sharingan, I could see what you were doing wrong. Why don't you try...

We spent the resto f the afternoon training. When the sun is about to set down, we start to head back to the district. I look again at the sky, where yellow, Orange, pink and purple mixed, and feel the emotional exhaustion fall upon me.

In front of me, Itachi and Shisui talked. I don't pay attention to what they are saying, but I observe them. During the Taijutsu match, I realized how close they really were: they knew each other moves, strengths, and weaknesses, they were in perfect harmony. I remembered Minato and Kushina earlier that day in the restaurant, the way they talked without actually uttering a single word.

Would I have friends like that one day? People, I would be able to talk to just with glances?

— Tadaima! — we announce as soon as we reach the main house.

— Okaeri! — Says Mikoto from the kitchen — The dinner is already. Why don't the three of you wash your hands?

— Hai! — Answers Shisui who runs to the bathroom. I follow him slowly, Itachi in my rhythm, and after getting our hands clean we seat the dinner table. While entering the room, I see Minato and Kushina already seated, talking to each other. I feel surprisingly happy. I sit between Itachi and Shisui, and after a chorus of 'thank you' we start to eat.

— What did you do this afternoon, boys? — Asks the clan Matriarch.

— We trained — Says Itachi.

The woman Uchiha doesn't seem surprised by the answer while Fugaku has a small, approving smile at his face. Minato and Kushina seem slightly curious.

— What did you train? — Aks the blond man.

— Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, basically.

— Was Izumi able to keep up with you and Shisui, Itachi?

When these words leave Fugaku's mouth I feel strangely uncomfortable. The Clan Heir, besides being a recognizes genius, has access to the best tutors of all ninja arts, and our cousin was already a full-fledged ninja. Of course, I couldn't keep up with them.

— No — Answers the Heir — But Izumi-san stamina is great, and doesn't seems to be affected too by the frustration, what helps her to learn quickly.

— Her taijutsu isn't that strong or well balanced, but she uses her surroundings to her advantage. Her chakra reserves aren't that big, but her control is efficient, not perfect, but good enough — Completes Shisui.

I feel really surprised for a few seconds, and without being able to hold myself, I beam at them. In just one day, I already had a notion about their personalities and one of the things I was absolutely sure: they don't lie to please or protect people's feelings. While Itachi had a more direct approach and Shisui a bit more delicate, neither of them would die about something like this.

I couldn't keep up with them but they have seen potential in me. And when two certified genius says that to you, it's hard to not feel proud of yourself.

The older cousin, almost like reading my thoughts, adds one more comment, this time directed at me:

— You still have a long path ahead of you, Izumi-chan. However, if you keep training, I am sure you will become an excellent Kunoichi, right, Itachi?

— Hm — Answers the younger one, with his always serious face.

Fugaku looks at me like he is measuring me again with his eyes. Kushina offers a radiant smile to the boys, and Mikoto laughs lowly. I feel my cheeks getting warmer. Was it me or had I spent the entire day feeling embarrassed? Minato, with a grin on his lips, asks:

— And are you two willing to train her?

Shisui blinks, but the one who answers is Itachi:

— Why not?

When these words leave the mouth of the younger one, I remember what I said earlier. I would never think that so soon after a great loss, I would be able to have this much fun...

Without being able to hold myself, I feel a great warm spreading through my chest. When my eyes meet him I see a kindness their that I didn't see before.

I beam.

After dinner, Minato and Kushina, and after goodbyes and good night wishes, Shisui goes home. Soon, each one follows to their own bedroom and for the first time in the day, I found myself alone.

A lot of things had happened.

I think about the people I met today and it's impossible to deny that I had fun. I had smiled, trained, laughed. And when I think about my mom (in pain, blood, in her alone a tour ho-) I can't stop the enormous guilt to grow inside me. I let the tears stream down my face.

The fact that she was gone for good still didn't seem real.

She died because of me. Because I wasn't there, because I didn't notest her, and just one day after she died, I was having fun, making friends, meeting people.

It was my fault.

Mine.

My eyes burn and an unknown pain fills me. I feel my conscious slip for a few moments and soon after it, I see myself in another place.

I feel my body... bigger? Yes, it seems like I was a little taller. I was on the other side of the Uchiha District, close to the woods. Shisui and Itachi are at my side.

I laugh of something and the older one turn his face to me. With a dashing grin he asks me:

— Why are you laughing, Izumi-chan? You just killed your mom. You don't have the right to laugh.

My laugh dies in my throat and instead of Shisui, my mother appears.

— Why didn't you help me, Izumi-chan? If you had talked to someone, ora t least pretended to care, I wouldn't have been forced to do this — Says the woman showing me her arms.

No. I cared.

I had shown that, hadn't I?

"I needed you. Why did you leave me?"

It was my fault. My fault, and mine alone.

I scream and wake up with three faces in front of me. My eyes burn and Fugaku stares at me, his face serious. Without further hesitation, he activates his own Sharingan and before I realize what is happening, I am unconscious. This time, there are no dreams.

I wake up feeling dizzy. I am in a white room, alone. I blink a few times and yesterday's night flashes come tom y mind.

Before I can breathe, Fugaku-sama and Mikoto-baa are by my bed.

— Izumi, honey, It's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?

— Tired.

— You had a pretty scary nightmare and activated your Sharingan. You had trained the entire day, so you didn't have much chakra, and we brought you to the hospital.

I nod to indicate that I am paying attention. My throat is dry and I feel utterly exhausted.

— Izumi-san — Who speaks now is Fugaku— You spent the entire night unconscious. It's almost time for your mother's funeral. Can you attend?

Funeral.

Did I even have the right to go? After...

I had to go.

It was my mother.

— Of course, Fugaku-sama.

The man simply nods and says:

— Mikoto will dress you and lead you to where the ceremony will take place.

The man stands up and leaves the room, while his wife sighs. How long was she here, in the hospital? Was that exhaustion my fault?

— Forgive Fugaku, Izu-chan. He... he doesn't know how to deal with emotional situations. I brought you a dress, I hope it fits. Come on.

I stand and take the dress, going to the bathroom to try it on. It was entirely black and looked sophisticated.

— Thank you, Mikoto-baa.

The older woman smiles at me.

— This is nothing, darling. I am here for anything you need. Do you remember what I said? We are a family. And family supports each other.

— Hm.

We leave the hospital room and Mikoto signs my release papers. We follow to the Uchiha district, the sky grey.

My mother wouldn't want to be buried under this sky.

We arrive at the Naka Shrine and I stop in front of it for a few seconds. Taking a deep breath I walk in.

There weren't many people: Itachi's family, that went to every single Uchiha funeral, it was their duties as clan heads; Shisui, which makes me smile and finally Yuki and her older sister Kiharu.

Yuki runs at me as soon as I walk inside. I let myself be embraced by her, holding me tightly.

— I am sorry, Izu-chan. I am really, really sorry.

— I know.

Kiharu-nee is right beside her, and as soon as the younger let me go, the older one pushes me closer.

— We just heard you were in the hospital... If we had known sooner we would surely have visited. Whatever you need, you can count on us, we are and will always be here for you. Okay, Izu-chan?

She then steps away and I am able to resume breathing. I hold her hands and nod my understanding.

Shisui comes straight at me, offering one of his arms, which I take. The priestess's already in the center of the Shrine, close to the closed coffin. When I finally kneel in front of her, everyone else does the same. We repeat the prayers, and when I realize it's already time to light the incense.

I do it, bowing in front of the coffin for long seconds. Finally, I stand up, with tears running down my face, and turn around. Everyone does the same, some, like Yuki, murmuring words in whispers.

All of them are saying their goodbyes.

At last, the priestess rises and places a seal over the casket.

— Izumi-san? — She calls with a gentle voice.

I stand, trembling.

I wouldn't do it.

I couldn't do it.

As soon as I activate the seal, flames will rise and spread. And then there would be nothing.

I would never be able to see her again. Never.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself, but it doesn't work. I am about to ask the priestess to proceed when Itachi shows up in front of me, offering a hand. He pulls me to the place my mother lies, tears still streaming down my face, hands still trembling, and my voice still choked. Itachi finally stops, guiding my hand and placing it over the seal.

— Izumi-san. Your mother should be impatient to be reunited with your father. You have to let her go.

I nod. Yes, he is right.

She wouldn't want to be here. She would want to fly to the sky. I keep my trembling hand over the seal and Itachi kindly covers it with his own. His finger has calluses, probably result from kunai and shurikens practice, but besides them, his hands are surprisingly soft. With his making my own hands steadier, I say aloud:

— Sayonara, kaa-san. I love you.

I push my chakra into the seal and really slowly Itachi pulls my hand and makes me take a step back. I hear Yuki-chan's sobbings behind me, unsurprised. She adored my mom and probably was suffering almost as much as me.

I see the seal unraveling into something similar to chains, that envelop all of the wood structure. When the first flame comes to life I can't stop the pained scream, the trembling or the sobs. All I can do is cry while my mother's body goes away.

I fall tom y knees, still trembling, and feel to arms embracing me. I can't see Itachi's face but his chakra shows that he is nervous and worried. I feel two people nearing us, probably Shisui and Mikoto. Itachi takes a step back and I feel his mother taking me up.

Normally I would protest about something like this. I wasn't a baby anymore. But right now, all I could think about was my parents, my house, my unborn sibling, everything I had lost.

I cry in Mikoto's shoulder without an ounce of shame. Before I note, we are already back at the Matriarch's house, seating on the couch and with a cup of tea in front of me. In a short while, I sleep in the midst of tears.

In the week following the funeral, I don't do much. Shisui and Itachi invite me to train every single day but I refuse. Yuki came to visit one time with Kiharu, but I didn't leave the room to see them. All I did was sleep, cry, drink a little bit of water and forcibly eat at least once a day. I barely left the room, my hair was full of tangles, but I couldn't care less. There wasn't anything that seemed important.

After the first day, nothing was fine again. I had finally notest there I wouldn't see my mom anymore, that I was living in someone else's house as a favor, and that it was my own fault.

I didn't want to see Shisui'sdashing smiles, Itachi expressive's eyes or feel Mikoto's tight and warm hugs. I just wanted to vanish into nothing. I wanted to be nothing, feel nothing.

Not die, though.

How would I be able to face my father if I did that? If I took the same path as my mother? The one I forced upon her?

Today I was in bed, as usual. The door is opened from the outside for the first time in the week, and Shisui and Itachi come through it.

— I don't want to train.

— Why not, Izumi-chan? — Asks Shisui — What better thing you have to do? Sleep, feel depressed? You are going to waste all of your potential!

I get angry. Not everything in life was about being ninja or potential.

— What difference will it make for you if I go or not? I can't even keep up with the two of you! Me being there will probably slow you down! Just leave me alone.

— We don't need you to be stronger or something like that! — the genin practically screams — If I believed you were better off in this room I would leave you alone. But you are not! You need to leave this house, eat, do anything!

It's my turn to scream:

— If you don't need me to be stronger why bother with me at all? I'm just...

— Because we are your friends. Because you are our friend. — Itachi says interrupting me.

— What? — Did they consider me a friend?

But I was weak, a killer.

I killed my own mother.

Why?

Shisui smiles. Not his usual sunny grin, but a small, almost sad one. Itachi by his side looks confused.

— We are friends, Right? We are a family. We worry about you, and honestly, you are giving us reason to — Answers the younger boy like that was the most obvious thing in the world

— What he said! — Continues Shisui, who is pulling me by the hand — Now you will take a shower, put some training clothes, eat breakfast until you can't think about food anymore and practice until you drop! And I will not take no as an answer!

Friends, hm?

It doesn't seem so bad.

I sigh, taking some clothes and leaving the room.

— Hey, where do you think you are going, young lady?

— Take a shower, right? — I say inclining my head.

The boys' beam at me.

— Right. We will wait for you downstairs. Actually, Kushina and Minato are in the living room. The red-head was threatening to take down your door and drag you out, but I asked her if we could try first.

I feel myself growing even more surprised, and feel a small tear run down my face. I was selfish, worrying everyone while drowning in loneliness and darkness.

I wasn't alone.

Grinning, I enter the bathroom and turn on the shower.

Bonus: Funeral

The priestess calls Izumi and Itachi is waiting for the girl to stand. Almost an entire minute goes by, and the girl is still staring at nothing, though standing. Shisui, by his side, questions:

— Is she okay?

The younger boys shake his head, denying. He could see her tears and her hands shaking.

He didn't like the look on her eyes.

In only one day, Itachi knew the girl well enough to realize that she was, in many ways, similar to Shisui: happy, spontaneous. The boy admired that in her: for someone like him, with no social skills, making friends as quickly as she did was surprising.

Seeing that girl broken, her eyes dead, wasn't something he wanted to happen.

The priestess seems to be ready to initiate the seal herself when a panic flood through the boy. What if Izumi stayed like that forever? That afternoon training with her was fun. He wanted to do it again. Seeing the way her brain worked was entertaining, it intrigued him. She learned fast, she liked to talk and listen to what other people were saying.

Itachi wanted to have fun with her again.

He then stands up and offers a hand to the girl. When she accepts he pushes her towards her mother. When he looks at Izumi's face he feels that bad feeling that had fallen upon him going away.

Her eyes weren't dead anymore. And for now, that was enough.

Author's note

Hope you have liked it! I want to thank Lucian and the guest that have commented, it really helps to keep me motivated! Soon things will start to pick up, the counting down to the October 10 starts now!