New chapter! Thank you for your kind reviews. I love them!

Disclaimer: i own nothing.

Chapter 2

Geranium, Sacrlet

(Flower meaning: melancholy, consolation, comfort)

There was a small knock on the door then Fuji entered the room after a soft permission was given, "May I come in?"

Tezuka inched back from his study table and looked at Fuji, "Ah.."

Fuji stepped into the room and handed over a clean ironed mint shirt to Tezuka, "I think this is yours. It got mixed into my laundry yesterday. I hope I don't overstep my place..so.."

Tezuka stood and took the shirt from Fuji, "Ah, thank you. It should be me to apologize being a bothersome."

Fuji waved his hand frantically, "No, not a bothersome. I'm glad I can help." Then he placed his hands on back pockets of his trousers while Tezuka put it away to his wardrobe. He knew he should say something, like thanking the younger man for being next to him that day.

It had been a week after his emotional disaster day. Tezuka didn't say anything after that and continued his life as he usually did. Fuji couldn't thank him enough, and since Tezuka dropped off the topic Fuji thought he shouldn't discuss it further. But still...

"Huh? I smell something nice in here." Fuji commented, it was the same scent which he always associated with Tezuka.

Tezuka opened the drawer of his table, "Years ago I got injured when I played tennis and it stressed me out. My doctor suggests to put some aromatherapy to keep me relaxed." He showed a small glass bottle to Fuji.

"Hee.. is that so?" He turned the small bottle around. It was made of apple, green tea and several other musky ingredients. The mixture produced a nice and comforting smell. "This is nice. I should try this in the future." He gave it back to Tezuka.

"What are you doing?" He walked closer and peeked at the scattered papers on the table.

"Writing my budgeting report for my compulsory subject."

"It must be hard, ne?"

Tezuka tapped his pencil on his thick book, "It shouldn't be but my team have quite diverse personalities, so we need a longer time to finish it."

Fuji grimaced at Tezuka's roundabout way to say his team was suck. Fuji never entered and studied in college therefore he didn't really perceive it but, he believed if Tezuka had done it alone, then it would have finished since long ago. "Oh, I must be disturbing your study time." He truly just realized how Tezuka needed his quiet time to finish his report.

"I'll be on my way, then. Just let me know if you need some midnight snack, okay?" He stepped back quickly.

Tezuka opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself. "Hn.."

Fuji stepped out of the room quickly then closed the door and leaned on the heavy door with a sigh, now he would always think about Tezuka whenever he smelled the same scent. That made his heart did a little jump and it wasn't a good thing.

####

Fuji was arranging newly arrived book to their shelf one Saturday, the bookstore was busy that's why he needed to restock the book as quickly as possible. Facing the customer's wrath and grumbles weren't the best experience after all.

His next unopened box was filled with the second edition of economic and agricultural books. He remembered someone who owned the first edition at home. Fuji took the book and read the article on the back of the book then smiled before he placed it on the respective place.

"What was so funny?" One of his coworkers, Mita, a woman in her mid forties, asked in curiosity when she walked pass Fuji pushing another cart of books.

Fuji placed the books in a tidy row, "Oh, it's nothing. I have a friend who reads this kind of book. I bet they would be delighted when I tell them that it has a second edition now."

Mita raised her brows in amazement, "Well, that's really something, eh? They read such difficult books and still alive?" She laughed.

Fuji laughed at her dry joke, "Right? They are a rare example but in great way." Not only that, Tezuka was also an understanding and caring man. He knew when to stay and when to leave you alone but, he made sure that you knew he would always be there for you.

"Hello? Fuji-kun?" Mita snapped her fingers, "Save that loving gaze for later."

Fuji frowned, "I'm not giving a loving gaze."

"Yeah, I got it. It's not, because you totally don't look like someone who has just falling in love since you already have your lover, I see." She teased, then went away.

Fuji stood there dumbfounded, "I'm not.." he whispered to no one.

At the time Fuji clocked out he felt his joints were sore and a bit sluggish but he brushed it off as the side effects of stacking books all day long. "Good work." One of his coworkers greeted before disappearing behind the back door.

Perhaps he should go home and take a rest, he thought as he put on his dark blue scarf. He greeted goodbyes to his friends before going home.

There hadn't any news about Tokugawa, no phone call, no messages, nothing at all. He didn't tell whether he would come home or not, and Fuji bet it was more to the second option. How long was it again? One week? Two? Fuji had stopped counting. He was tired and sick of it even.

Still, there was Tezuka. He had a responsibility to the younger man. "Huh? It's still early." He commented one block away from the bookstore, "I can get the groceries from the market near Kazuya-san's office. And perhaps we can go home together since we rarely meet lately." He smiled and paced quickly to the station with a new enthusiasm, ignoring the itchy and burning sensation on his throat.

The groceries shopping took shorter time than he anticipated. He decided to make a hotpot since it had gotten chiller in the mid autumn, and hotpot was a good idea to keep you warm. He also brought some fluffy cake with pretty decorations as dessert. He might be able to convince Tokugawa to enjoy it with him on the bed together.

His heart beat faster with anticipation when he walked nearer to Tokugawa's office. It was a little past six, and he was sure almost all the people had gone home. True to be told, he saw a crowd in front of the entrance area. Fortunately, Tokugawa was among the men there.

Fuji stood at the sidewalk, behind a row of tall bushes, waiting to give a surprise for his lover. He waited patiently and even giggled when he imagined Tokugawa's dazed and confused face when he saw Fuji. The crowd had dispersed not long after that, so Fuji was getting ready to take an action.

Yet, it was him who was shocked by the view in front of him. All of the enthusiasm and giddiness were replaced by heartbreak and disappointment. "How could him.." he whispered in a stammer. Having enough of it, he stepped back and turned around quickly to leave.

Fuji didn't realize that there was another pedestrian behind him and they collided inevitably. "Be careful, will ya?!" The stranger clucked his tongue and left hastily, leaving Fuji on the ground with scattered groceries.

All in his mind was it was impossible, impossible. His lover..his own love..

His mind was too clouded to gather himself -he crawled and took the onions one by one with shaking hand- that some people even took pity on him and helped him to collect his groceries.

"I'm afraid your cake is beyond saving, young man." An old lady with short white curly hair said in a sad tone when she handed back the cake box. Fuji took it with shaking hand and thanked her then walked away quickly. He hated to see the gaze filled with pity and sympathy. He didn't need that.

He just wanted to go home, away from the reality. Hoping that it was just a bad dream.

Fuji kept walking in confused and depressed mind. All he did was replaying the hurtful scene again and again in his mind. He was sad when he reached home, he was devastated when he put his bag and groceries on the table, he was broken when he saw the damaged cake. "It looks like me. Ugly. Useless." He threw it away without hesitating.

####

Fuji blinked in confusion as he saw the dark sky from the balcony. Since when the sky had gotten so dark?

Tezuka suddenly appeared next to him, his frown was deeper than usual. "Fuji?"

Fuji blinked in confusion when he saw Tezuka but when his brain finally worked he smiled brightly, "Oh! Tezuka-kyuun.. You are feeneely home! Hic!" He glomped to Tezuka with a giggle, and commented on the dark and deep frown on Tezuka's face.

Tezuka staggered with the new load on him, he detached from the smaller man,

"Fuji? Are you drunk?"

Fuji blinked in confusion, "Me? Drunk? Am nooot. I'm not..hic..drunk.." he hummed and leaned on Tezuka more and closed his eyes with a sigh. "You are very warm.."

Tezuka could smell the strong scent of alcohol from the older man and if that wasn't enough then the stack of beer cans at Fuji's feet were the clear evidence.

"How long have you been here?" He asked and touched Fuji's face and hands, "Look how cold your face is. Let's go inside." He circled his left arm around Fuji's small shoulder and dragged the smaller man into the apartment but Fuji wriggled out of Tezuka's grip, "No! I don't wanna!"

"Fuji.." Tezuka called again. He wasn't sure what to do since it was the first time for him to see the drunk Fuji.

"Don wanna.. It's stifling inside." Fuji replied and sat down on the floor before leaning on the cold surface of the balcony railing. "I like it heree.." and closed his eyes with a sigh.

Having no other choice, Tezuka squatted in front of Fuji and said in softer tone, "It's really cold here. You may catch a cold the longer you stay here. Let's lay down on the couch, huh?" He brushed Fuji's hair slowly.

When he saw no more protests from the smaller man, Tezuka brought Fuji back to the house in a bridal style.

Tezuka put Fuji on the couch as he promised, he even brought blanket for the smaller man when he saw Fuji shivers. "Tezuka-kun.." Fuji whispered when Tezuka tucked the thick blanket around the light brown haired man.

"Hn?"

"Tezuka-kun is a nice guy, ne? Whoever your partner is, they are truly fortunate one to have you by their side.." he murmured with closed eyes. "They must be very happy having you.." Tezuka brushed Fuji's bangs aside. Fuji looked so vulnerable and small under the thick blanket.

"why.." Fuji whispered softly.

"Why you guys are so different? Why.. Why, Kazuya-san?" Tears rolled down from the closed eyes.

Tezuka pulled his hands away. Right, this wasn't his place to be. Fuji wasn't someone he could touch as he wished. Fuji was his uncle's. Tezuka balled his fist to stop himself. Having no other option to do he decided to clear up the mess at the balcony and to let Fuji rest.

"I almost forgot!" Fuji straightened up right away even before Tezuka could reach the balcony. "I have to put a sticker on the calendar." Fuji stumbled through the dim livingroom to the kitchen area. He opened a drawer and rummaged wildly around the drawer. Fuji even threw away the things; paper clips, notes, pencil in the drawer if it wasn't the object he needed. In the end, the kitchen area too, was a mess.

"Tezuka-kun!" He threw away another book nonchalantly, "Tezuka-kun..hic.. have you seen my emoticon stickers?" When he heard no response he cried out, "Tezukaaa.."

Tezuka who got over his confusion approached the smaller man, "what stickers?" He asked next to Fuji.

"My emoticon stickers. I can't find it even though I have searched everywhere! It should be here. Where are they?" He pointed to the empty drawer. "Did you take it?" Fuji asked with narrowed eyes and serious tone. But the blush on the cheeks made him looked adorable instead.

Tezuka opened his mouth to answer but Fuji cut him, "Hmm.. you don't take it. I know. Perhaps, they too left since they are mad at me, too." He chuckled bitterly.

Fuji sang his question, "Nee..where is my stickers?" He slurred at the end, his body was wobbly then he leaned on the nearest sturdy wall to keep him up straight, the wall which actually was Tezuka himself.

Tezuka with every ounce of his patience pulled up Fuji's right hand, showing him that he was holding the most wanted stickers in his hand all along. "Oh! They are here! Silly me." He giggled and stepped away from Tezuka.

After three times futile attempt to open the seal of the plastic package, Fuji finally had enough and torn it forcefully. The sheets of stickers fell down on the floor in a slow motion. "Let's see.." Fuji squatted down, "Which one should I use today, him?" He moved his fore finger from one sheet to another one on the floor, "Smile..laugh..Smile. Smile. Laugh. Love. Smile. Smile." Tezuka could only watch from the sideline.

"I don't have it.." Fuji said suddenly and sniffed. "I don't have it." And now he was sobbing.

Tezu crouched down next to Fuji when he saw troubled Fuji. "What is it?"

"I have no crying one..hic.. I need that one." He placed his face on his knees, and continued to sob.

"Why do you need it?" Tezuka couldn't relate at all at Fuji's logic.

"Coz today is a sad day..thes why I need to put the sad emoticon on the calendar.." he pointed to the monthly calendar next to the refrigerator with nice autumn scenery printed on it.

Tezuka glanced at the calendar and even in the dimmed room with the only source of light was come from the bright balcony outside, he could still make out the spots on certain days on the calendar which was the sticker was placed presumably.

"I have only the smiles and laughing one, there is love, too. But I don't have the crying one since I have used them all. What should I do?" Fuji sank further to the floor till he was laying on his side on the floor. "What should I do? I have run out of it."

Tezuka stared at the dark ceiling and count until ten before he asked again, "Why do you need that one?"

Fuji took one of the sticky labels and tracing it with his flimsy finger, "Coz today is a sad day. It's only suitable for this day, a day where you cry you can't possibly put the laughing one, ne?"

"If it is then don't do that. Forget about it. Remembering your sadness won't bring you anywhere." Or so he thought since he wasn't the one who meddle with his sadness that much.

Fuji raised and stared directly at Tezuka, his closed eyes were finally opened. "You don't understand." He whispered.

Tezuka often wondered what was behind those closed eyes and he wasn't disappointed when he saw it in such closeness. The illumination from the balcony's light showed that Fuji's eyes were blue, even in the dim light he could see how beautiful the color was.

The tears started to slide out of the beautiful eyes, forming a glassy glaze on them, "You don't understand, the sad memories can't be forgotten and I shouldn't be." He squeezed the frail paper in his arms so hard till his knuckles turned white and the paper crumbled and became shapeless in his hand. Fuji seemed to be sobered up at this time yet his face showed that Fuji truly looked dejected and defeated.

Tezuka couldn't have that, he didn't want to see the defeated Fuji, he hated it. That's why his body moved to put his arms around Fuji and kept him there, safe in his arms even before his brain could proceed it. "Forget it. Forget about the bad memories then make the new happier and pleasant memories."

Fuji placed his chin on Tezuka's shoulder and sniffed, "I don't think I can. I will never forget."

Tezuka cradled the back of Fuji's head gently, "You can. You definitely can." He whispered while tightening his arms around Fuji's back desperately. When Fuji argued back, Tezuka caressed the small head carefully, slowly, "You can. I promise it to you."

Tezuka repeated his words to Fuji times, he didn't let Fuji go, and even leaned his head toward Fuji to show him. He wanted to make sure Fuji knew he was there for him.

For some reasons it was Tezuka's baritone voice, it was Tezuka's warmth that calming him down and protecting him."Do you think so?" Fuji asked in croaked voice in Tezuka's arms.

"Aa."

Fuji sniffed, "I never used the sad one in the past, though. It was always smiling, I used to smile a lot in the past." Fuji sighed and leaned on Tezuka more, his eyes were closed this time, "Why does everything change? Why should it change?... Kazuya-san.." and with that Fuji fell asleep.

Tezuka then brought Fuji to his and his uncle's room which he had never entered before. There was only a big bed on the left side complete with dark nightstand, a big wardrobe on the right side, and a comfortable chair on a fluffy carpet in the middle of the room. The stuff's were stacked neatly and orderly. It was clearly Fuji's doing since the older man did everything in the house diligently and passionately with a smile. He never saw Fuji complained about it, though his uncle never took an interest.

Tezuka stepped out of the room to collect the empty cans on the balcony, then cleaning the mess in the kitchen area. He put the scattered stuffs back to the drawer as neatly as he could so Fuji wouldn't miss anything there.

When everything was done, his attention was brought to the calendar on the wall. He flipped it one by one. In early year there were smileys and loves stickers sprinkled on it, but they dropped drastically when the spring started. If at the start was filled with smileys then when May came, they changed into confused, forced laughter, disappointed and even sad emoticons. Tezuka found that the sticker gone worse in each month ends.

Kazuya-san..

Suddenly, Fuji's sad face when he called for his uncle crossed Tezuka's mind. Was it related? Tezuka bet all his thropies for it.

Tezuka touched the 27th day of July. The date was marked with love symbols but the stickers attached was crying one. Did Fuji cry that day, too?

Imaging Fuji crying alone squeezed his heart. Thinking how much it had hurt Fuji made him wanted to wipe the tears away, and turn the sad expression into a happy one with his own hands.

Tezuka pulled his hand away from the calendar immediately when he realized what had he just thought of. It wasn't his place. What Fuji needed wasn't his hand but his uncle's who were unknown his whereabouts.

There... done for chapter two!

Notes: 27th July is certain someone's birthday.

Hope you enjoy it! *grin*