Claude was frustrated. He had just been released from his one on one with Mr. Dr. Eisner. The session had not got well from Claude's point of view. Mr. Dr. Eisner had been going on about how Claude's dangerous behavior was not very loving to himself. Claude loved himself just fine. He wasn't vain or anything, but Claude thought he was an alright guy. He also loved the rush he felt every time he climbed to the top of a tall building or played chicken with the cars on the street at night.
Claude shuffled dejectedly into the rec room, plopping down on a chair at the circular table. He heaved a heavy sigh and looked around. The only other person here was Marianne, who was petting the kitten in her lap.
"I don't get it," Claude said aloud. He wasn't sure Marianne was the right person to vent to, but she was the only one here.
"What don't you get?" she whispered, not looking at him.
"Mr. Dr. Eisner said that my risk taking indicates that I don't care for myself very much. That I don't love myself." Claude rubbed his face.
"Ok."
"But I do care for myself. I wash my body, I feed myself. Heck, I even take the mood stabilizers they want me to take. On time and everything. How is that not caring for myself?"
Marianne thought for a moment, her head tilting to the side. "Well, I don't know if I can explain it better than Mr. Dr. Eisner, but I can give it a try."
"You can't do any worse," Claude griped.
Marianne bit back a self deprecating retort. After taking a breath, she lifted Dorte off her lap and placed the kitten in Claude's.
Claude smiled and began scratching behind her ears. A gigantic pur rumbled in Dorte's throat, much louder than Claude would have expected such a tiny creature to make.
"This is a kitten," Marianne started.
"Right."
"How would you feel if you saw the kitten way up high in a tree? High enough that if she fell she may hurt herself."
"I suppose I would feel nervous for her. Maybe a little scared."
"Would you try and help her?"
"Of course. I would climb the tree and get her down and tell her not to climb that high again."
Marianne nodded, as if Claude said exactly the right thing. She took one slender finger and poked him square in the center of his chest. "You are the kitten."
Claude blinked in surprise. Then he looked down at Dorte, lifting her up by her armpits and staring. Her little arms stuck out in Claude's direction, and Dorte gave him a half offended look. He understood now. It wasn't about liking yourself well enough. It was about treating yourself as well as you would another person, loving yourself like you would a precious kitten. Claude would never want any of his friends to do some of the shit he had done, so why did he let himself?
"Thanks Marianne, that really helped." He handed Dorte back, the little kitten starting to wriggle now that she realized she was not with her human. "Here's your kitten."
"No problem. Sorry if it didn't make that much sense, I'm not very good at explaining things. I probably just made you more confused."
"No Marianne, really, you helped a lot. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart."