North Star
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. All recognisable characters, content, or locations belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Note: A fair bit of language in this one. I tried to keep it tasteful, but hey, Paul's temper, what can you do?
Chapter Six:
Paul
"What the hell, asshole? Where the fuck have you been?"
Although aware, peripherally, that I sound like a possessive boyfriend, I don't retract my question (re: demand for answers(.
It's Monday morning, Jared is in front of me, about four inches taller and broader than he had been a week prior, his hair cropped close to his scalp, and one of his upper arms marked by a tribal tat I've never seen. Even as it appears as though he's aged six years in as many days, it also looks as though he's been shooting steroids up to his eyeballs, and I am pissed beyond belief. Not only have I been pestered by Anna for most of the weekend, but I am also not impressed by the way Jared has involved me in this bullshit, whatever it is.
"Calm your tits, dude," Jared answers mildly. His gaze is sharp though, and a muscle ticks in his bristled jaw. He couldn't be bothered to shave, evidently, and I can't remember a day when he's never made the effort to appear his best.
Honestly, I can't decide what disturbs me most: the newfound apathy for himself and the future he has worked towards for forever, the lack of consideration for those whom he surrounds himself with, or his particular method of, I don't even know - self-destruction? Rebellion?
I scoff. "Fuck off, jackass, and explain to me why I had to lie to your fucking mom about where you were this weekend."
"I had things to do."
"Yeah, so did I, and yet I spent most of my weekend fending off phone calls from your fucking girlfriend, and I want a goddamn explanation why, fuckhead."
"And you'll get one," Jared answers, "Just not right now, okay, dude? Trust me on this, all right? You'll find out soon enough."
Entirely unappeased by his reply, I'm about to insist on an explanation now, but Anna approaches before I can. She's on the warpath, livid beyond belief, and I walk away before I can be pulled into yet another one of their fights. Quite frankly, I'm afraid I might punch Jared in the face if I stay any longer, and I have no desire to get pulled into the principal's office when my second week at La Push High has barely begun. Moreover, Jared's suddenly the size of a gorilla, and despite my background in Martial Arts, I'm not sure I could take him.
Not without copping a beating of my own, anyway.
While Anna and Jared get into it, I try to walk off my bout of temper, but it's a struggle. It's rather bizarre, actually, because I've predominantly existed in a state of calm bordering apathy for months now, and I can't remember the last time I've been truly angry. Irritated, certainly, occasionally scornful, but I haven't been genuinely infuriated to the point of trembling since those first few months after the accident, when those initial stages of grief had been sharp and poignant and entirely too real for anyone's comfort.
The therapist Naomi and I see says it's the depression, that I have to work through it in spite of the complete and utter lack of motivation to do so, and I have tried. There are few things in this world I genuinely give a shit about, however, which is why the anger is such a surprise. Jared's my bro, yeah, but at the end of the day, his life is his own and he can do whatever the hell he wants with it. I should not be so effected by something that is none of my business.
I exhale harshly, sweep both my hands through my hair, and tug roughly at the roots. As I do, the first bell rings shrilly across the school grounds, and I begrudgingly make my way to my first class. It's Senior English, focused on British Literature and Creative Writing, and I spend most of the hour attempting to translate 'Othello' into something that makes sense.
If nothing else, it's a spectacular distraction, but it unfortunately doesn't last. Instead, I catch sight of Jared between classes, and at the start of our lunch break, and it is enough to make me grind my teeth.
I'm tempted to sit somewhere else for lunch, but I don't actually know anyone else, and thus I buy my meal, drop into the seat across from Jared, and absently chow down on the food provided. As I do, I note the distinct absence of Anna at Jared's side, and it's enough to peak my interest.
"Where's Anna?"
Jared grimaces. "She broke up with me. Said we fight too much, and it's making her miserable, and after my bullshit this weekend, she was done."
"Dude," I sigh, and flounder. I have no idea what to say, because it sucks, but I can't really fault Anna for her decision. Moreover, I'm still pissed at Jared for the bullshit over the weekend, and I'm just his friend, but either way, it leaves me disinclined towards feeling sympathy for his plight.
Jared shrugs, and attempts a half-hearted smile. "What can you do, right?"
"Right," I agree with a nod, and there's nothing else I can say. It's just a shit day, all' round, and I'm sure we're both ready for it to be over.
Bella
I sign up for the debating team, and I join the school newspaper. It's a whim, but Lauren's in the former, Angela in the latter, and I'll be in good company, at least. Moreover, the extracurricular activities are good for college applications, and although I'm still undecided about university, and generally terrified of life post-graduation, I'm at least determined to keep my options open.
"Are you going to sign up for any sports?" Jessica asks.
"Here? In Forks? What's the point?"
"Touché," Jess concedes. "Were you on any sports teams in Seattle?"
"Um, yeah," I confirm, "Mom and Dad are pretty big on the extracurricular thing. My old school had a dance troop, and I was on the Artistic Gymnastics team, as well."
The only reason Charlie's not plugging the extracurricular activities here, in Forks, is because there are significantly less options to choose from. It's why he's started to nudge me in the direction of a part-time job instead, and I'm inclined towards acquiescing to his entirely unsubtle prodding.
"Not cheerleading?" Tyler quips.
I scoff. "You wish, Crowley."
Lauren throws a french fry at his face. "Pig."
Tyler holds his hands up, surrendering. "Shut up, we were all wondering it. Have you seen her legs?"
I'm simultaneously flattered and embarrassed, and I have no idea how to respond to the implied compliment. I laugh though, with the others, good-natured and good-humoured, and the remainder of our lunch hour passes in the same vein. Lauren drags me off to our next class afterwards, and the afternoon crawls by. I'm bored out of my mind, but the final bell eventually heralds the end of the school day, and I meet Tyler for our usual walk home. It's cold, the sort of chill that seeps deep into your bones, and the walk's rarely seemed so long.
"Is it Friday yet?" Tyler greets me.
"I wish," I answer, "I have this horrible feeling that this week's going to last forever."
"You and me both," he exhales, "Doesn't help that we just got an ass heap of homework, right?"
"Right," I agree.
As we exit the parking lot, Rosalie Hale screeches passed us in her cherry red overcompensating-for-something BMW, and Tyler and I scoff our derision.
"Entitled bitch," I mutter. Tyler nudges me lightly, chuckling, and I roll my eyes. "What? It's true! Have you seen the way she looks at us? As if we're fucking inferior, or something, God! It pisses me off! Besides, who the fuck gets a convertible in Forks? It defies logic!"
"Preaching to the choir, girl," Tyler answers. He sounds unbelievably weary, and looks it, too. "Might as well get used to it, right? A lot of people are going to think like her."
Inexplicably, I feel like crying. The tears prickle behind my eyelids, the sob lodges in my throat, and I really don't want to hear what Tyler has to say. In fact, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle what he has to say, and I shake my head. I want to cover my ears, close my eyes to this suddenly serious conversation, and maybe that's petulant, or juvenile, or what-the-fuck-ever, but ignorance is bliss, and I'm quite happy with my blissful ignorance.
"I don't want to talk about this right now," I say, "Can we not?"
Tyler scrutinises my expression, and nods solemnly. "All right, Bella. If that's what you want."
The rest of the walk to our street is spent in awkward, stilted silence, and it's almost a relief when I make it home.
Tyler, who hasn't walked up the porch, offers me a wave and a forced smile, and a promise to catch me later. I reciprocate all three, watch him walk away, and then retreat inside, far from the tension that has lingered between us for the last 25 minutes.
I shuffle upstairs, get changed into a pair of sweats and an oversized T-shirt, sans bra, and settle in to make a start on that day's homework. I'm distracted though, perturbed by the conversation I'd just thwarted, and all the implications thus.
Disturbed, and oddly fretful, I resort to my usual fallback: I call my mom. I haven't spoken to her very often since my move, mostly because she's been rapt up in her own. She's since settled in Miami, however, with a job teaching in a High School with a demographic made up primarily of Latin American and African American students. Phil, her new husband, works at the same school, coaching baseball, and they are happy, satisfied with their new home and their new jobs, and their lives far from the cold wet of Washington State.
Although I've likely disturbed her during her grading time before dinner, she greets me fondly, warmly, kindly, and I sigh, eased by the familiar sound of her voice. Despite my contentment in Forks, I've missed her immensely.
"Hey, Mom, how are you?"
"A lot better than you, honey. What's wrong?"
I sigh again, weary this time, and wonder where I ought to start, and I figure the easiest part would be best. "There's this kid in school, he makes me really uncomfortable, and I don't know what to do about it…"
Author's Note: Apologies for the wait. I couldn't decide on the second POV. It was a toss-up between Jared and Sam, and then Bella just elbowed her way in out of left field…
Anyway, leave a review? I kind of really want to know what you guys think of how I've written Paul and Bella. Other than that, thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Until next time, -t.