A/N: I initially intended this to be a oneshot, but I couldn't resist. I needed to write more. Thank you for all the sweet reviews.

Anyway, I want to change a few things to fit my storyline. Addison and Mark were a one night stand. She didn't move in with him when Derek left. Also, Addison was never pregnant with Mark's baby. I might change a few other things too along the way.

I don't own anything.

It was a lot like ripping a bandaid.

But that's only if the said bandaid was your husband of over 11 years. Also, if said bandaid was one of the only people you've ever slept with, and maybe thats only if the said bandaid is the love of your life.

Yeah. That metaphor didn't really fit their situation. Addison thought.

She was attempting to retie her hair in front of the small mirror; yet again. Addison knew that she needed to put on a little more effort onto her appearance to hide the fact that she just had sex with her estranged husband or is it soon to be ex-husband. Depending whether he signs the papers or not. But who were they kidding. Her salmon scrubs were no longer neatly pressed, and his blue scrubs too looked off. Everyone would know what they did as soon as they step out of the room. There was no way of hiding it. Things were going fine earlier. The husband and wife were back to their old selves talking about their patients. Addison missed being with Derek. She missed how he held her. She missed his smile. She missed how they could talk about anything. She missed her husband desperately. Addison was a fighter. She is not the type to give up without a fight. Especially when she knew that she had a chance, and she does. But all great fighters know that you can't get into it blindly. You need a game plan, and she did have one. It just all went to shit when she started kissing him back. Why the hell did she have to ruin her plan by sleeping with him tonight?

She groaned. "Stop worrying so much Addie." Derek whispered. He placed his hands on her hips and rested his chin on her shoulder. The sight of them together looked natural. It was almost like they fit, and they did. Or at least they used to.

Addison turned around to face her husband. "What does this mean?" Derek blankly stared at her. "Was this a 'goodbye fuck?' Are we getting back together? Or maybe it was just a way for you to scratch an itch." She was frustrated, but that quickly turned into a deep sigh. "You call my Satan Derek. Earlier, you walked away when I wanted to talk to you. You avoid me at all costs." Addison looked at him straight in the eye. "Not to mention, you're in love with your intern." She stated. He remained silent. "I don't know what this meant, and I don't know how we go on from here. But I leave in the morning. It's either you sign or you don't." She announced. She wanted to yell and sob at the same time. Derek just stared at her. "Honey please say something." She begged, and it broke his heart to hear her say that. Addison wasn't the type to beg. He knew that. Back in New York, she was this confident no-bullshit surgeon. She was always sure of her decisions. Both personally and professionally. So to hear her beg was definitely a sign that there was something wrong. Like finding her in bed with Mark wasn't a sign. Derek reminded himself.

"Oh" was the only response he could come up with. "Addie, I" He paused. He didn't know what their love making meant. It wasn't angry sex. They were no longer mad at each other. They were hurt, but they weren't angry. It wasn't a goodbye fuck either. Neither of them wanted to end their marriage just yet. Most especially, it couldn't have been just sex. They were married for god's sake. Sex to them wasn't a carnal act to scratch an itch. It was their way of expressing their love for each other. So even if he didn't know what their latest rump meant, he was sure of one thing. "It wasn't just sex for me." Derek offered a small smile.

"Good." Addie nodded. "It wasn't just sex for me either." She finally let a tear roll down her porcelain cheek. She had been holding that in for awhile now.

Derek nodded. "Look Addie," His tone was soft and shaky. He never liked seeing her cry. It hurt to see her hurt. Neither of them wanted to talk about what would happen next, but they knew that they had to at some point. They can't just stay at an impasse. "when I look at you, I want to remember how you looked at our wedding. I want the image of you in the silk white dress walking down the aisle to be the first thing I remember, but it isn't. At least not anymore. When I look at you, I remember him." Derek sighed. "I remember how he held you as he" he paused to find the right words without throwing up. "as he thrusted himself into you." He no longer cared about looking strong. He let the tears rush down his cheeks. Addison too was sobbing at this point.

"Derek, I didn't mean to hurt you"

"But you did."

"I know." Her voice cracked. "I know that I shouldn't have slept with him, but he was there. He was there when you weren't. You made him attend our dates. Instead of cancelling, you had Mark come." They both cringe at the sound of his name. "You even sent him to our anniversary dinner." She looked at him desperately.

"I was indifferent. I was never home. I practically lived at the hospital." He admitted. "But I didn't think that'll push you to him." Derek couldn't even say his name. "When I look at you, I feel nauseous. You make me sick." He forcefully ran his fingers through his hair. "But the only thing worse than that," He took her hand and wiped her tears. "is not seeing you at all. I know that I called you Satan, but that was because I was angry at you. I'm no longer angry Addie. Listen, we can't fix our marriage overnight. It can take months, years even, but I want to try. I want us to work. We can survive this." He cupped her face. "Stop crying honey. We can get through this. We're Addison and Derek."

"We are Addison and Derek." She echoed. It was almost like she needed to remind herself that.

"Stay." Derek begged. "Stay for me. Don't leave tomorrow. I don't think I can say goodbye to you just yet. Please?"

"Okay." She agreed. Even if she had patients, a practice to run, and a life in Manhattan, Derek is the love of her life. He had asked her to stay, so she will. It was the least she could do. She was the one that had hurt him in the first place. She pushed him to Seattle.

"We still have to talk about your intern Derek." Now this was more like ripping the bandaid.