A Single Lie Among the Flowers

by WitchJuliana

The world he lives in is cruel in the beautiful ways it chooses to deliver death. Flowers sprout from the throat when someone's love isn't returned, and the unfairness of it all on both parties is an unjust punishment to the innocent who merely want to love and be happy. And Jasper only wants them to be happy, even if it means to suffer quietly for their happiness.

2. Purple Hyacinth

A/N: Here comes the golden boy!

---

Shhkshk.

He lowers his camera, this one heftier than his hobby camera with a strap hanging from his neck. The breeze kisses his cheeks as he lowers his eyes to see his finished product. Captured on his screen were the trees swaying in the wind, surrounding a quaint dirt path as the midday light streams through the leaves, the spores around them adding a special kind of sparkle to the landscape.

Good enough.

He turns on his heel and focuses his camera now on an empty bench. Zooms in. Adjusts.

And frowns.

He lowers the camera again, cursing as he ignores how empty it feels to stare at the bench. He's been returning to this bench day after day since Clementine left. Hoping, vainly, that he could talk to her again. Maybe convince her that she still had time. That everything would be okay.

That she hadn't lost everything yet.

He could be her friend. He could introduce her to his friends.

And she could find hope again.

But it's been a few weeks since he last saw her. He comes back to the park day after day, sitting at the same bench, taking pictures of the same scenery at different angles to sell the best ones that meet his clients standards and expectations, waiting until the sun slowly sinks below the same horizon before snapping a few more pictures and going home.

He's texted Jen, thinking maybe she'd be able to come across Clementine or hear about her from her other clients and fellow witches. She promised to keep an eye out for the woman, but so far, the only response he's gotten from her was, "Sorry, nothing yet".

Disheartening, yes. But maybe…

He sighs, turning his attention to the sun setting in the trees and lifts the camera up to take a picture. Instead of his usual show of magic, he just waits for everything to settle into place naturally. All the leaves have fallen onto the ground, leaving only the bare trees to frame the sun against a backdrop of distant mountains. He waits for the sun to sink just enough, right where it looks like it's being cradled carefully by the mountain tops, and-

"Excuse me."

Shhkshk.

Got it. He hums as he looks down at the picture on the screen, the image looking about as good as it can get. This is what the client wanted, right? He double checks on his phone, scrolling through his emails and nodding when he finds it. Yup. Just as he thought.

"Excuse me." A tap on his shoulder. Jasper jumps and turns quickly to address the stranger.

"Sorry, I-" Icy blues meet his own sky blues. A familiar pair of blues, in fact. His hands drop his camera, the moneymaker saved only by the strap hanging around his neck. "Uh."

"Oh." The stranger, dressed in a gray cardigan he's seen only in pictures, with platinum blonde hair that he swears looks more stunning in person, steps back, eyes wide as he takes in Jasper's appearance. "I. Um."

A familiar, honey-furred arm waves at Jasper from the stranger's arms.

Or. Rather.

Daniel's arms.

Jasper raises a hand to point at him. "Ah."

"It's…"

"You!" They both shout at each other in shock, Daniel wearing a big grin on his face before rushing in to hug Jasper, Mr. Pinecone crushed between them.

"Jasper!"

"Daniel?!" The surprise squeaks out of him as the other practically has him in a vice grip. "What are you doing here?"

"Well." He pulls off of Jasper just enough, Mr. Pinecone clinging to Jasper's camera strap as the blonde lowers his eyes, smile turning into a familiar smirk Jasper recognizes from past pictures. "David mentioned in his recent letter that his birthday was coming up and I thought, perhaps visiting him would make for a fantastic birthday present."

"I can't say that I'd disagree." Jasper smiles back, a mix of emotions swirling through him. He's happy - of course he's happy, this is Daniel, his friend, close friend even, from childhood. Does he count as a childhood friend? Probably. But then again, this is Daniel, David's friend, close friend even, from childhood.

Daniel, the man that David has fallen in love with.

Daniel, his supposed competition for David's affections.

Daniel, the winner of a battle he doesn't even know he's already won.

And he's standing right here, in front of him, staring like Jasper's the sun to his moon.

It's…

Impossible for Jasper to want to hate him. Because he knows he can't. Years of reading the letters over David's shoulder, the shared excitement of seeing a new letter pop up before that jealousy set in, of trading trinkets as gifts, Jasper's own little notes for Daniel and Daniel's little responses to Jasper, the jealousy fading away into an affectionate acceptance, all culminating into a question posed to him years ago when they were all still teens, handwriting shaky as the writer nervously asked:

"We're friends too, right, Jasper?"

And Jasper's own shaky response made in excitement:

"Yes!"

He could try and scratch at old self-defeatist wounds to scrounge up some bit of ire he once held for the man years ago. But no bead of resentment compares to the years spent sharing in moments of revelry through handwritten words and genuine attachment.

And so he rubbed the green-eyed monster away. Because how could he hate Daniel in the end? When he made David happy?

When he made Jasper happy?

"What does that mean?" The man tilts his head to the side, an audible crack coming from his neck. Jesus, his bones on the other hand.

"Just means I'm glad to see ya, homeslice." Jasper smiles as he pats Daniel's shoulder, and the blonde's smirk softens back into a smile. Mr. Pinecone clambers up Jasper's clothes and sits on his shoulder, clinging to his beanie as Daniel releases Jasper from his hold. "But what are you doing out here? And why were you trying to get my attention?"

"I am new in town." Daniel shrugs as he steps back to give Jasper some space. "And I was a bit lost. I was hoping I could find a helpful stranger who could point me in the right direction. But, it appears I've found someone better."

Jasper rolls his eyes affectionately. "Remember when I said we all should have traded phone numbers or something? That would have made all of this way easier on you."

"What can I say? I'm a glutton for the more… romantic aspect of sending letters to one another."

"You get them from a teddy bear who looks like he's been through hell and back."

"A battle worthy cause." They both share a laugh before Daniel clears his throat and gestures for Jasper to lead the way. "But now that I've accidentally found you, perhaps you could point me in the right direction."

"Of course." Jasper points in the direction of where Daniel had come from. "That is the right direction."

"...Of course."

"Wouldn't Mr. P know the way to Davey's?"

"Yes, but he got tired. He wanted me to carry him." The bear waves at Daniel in response, a snicker sounding from Jasper. Jasper takes the lead and begins walking down a path he knows by heart.

"Guess I'm on Mr. P duty now." Daniel catches up to Jasper's side with ease. It's only then that he notices the small luggage trailing behind him with a light blue glow.

"Weren't you always?" The blonde points at the various patchwork and stitching that litters the bear's body. "I've always wanted to say thank you in person, for taking such good care of him."

"Well, now you can!" He smiles brightly at Daniel, only to have his eyes widen in surprise as the blonde leans in close to his face, lips brushing his cheek as they come to an abrupt halt.

"Thank you," he whispers, lips tantalizingly close to his ear. Daniel pulls away with a smirk playing on his lips. His eyes shine expectantly as he studies Jasper.

Oh.

Uh oh.

Oh no.

Ah jeez.

Shit.

Mr. Pinecone helpfully pulls his scarf up to hide his blushing face.

"Jasper?"

"UH." He clears his throat, thankful that the scarf muffles his voice. "Your voice!"

"...My voice."

"Yes." Another throat clearing. "It's uh, deeper than I expected."

"Deeper?"

"Yeah." A weird noise escapes him as he tries to gather himself together. "It's like eeeehhhh, like uh, it's not bad! I just didn't expect..." Sultry. Seductive? Sexy? Like he's purposely adding a purr to the end of his sentences just to force Jasper to listen to him closely? Like a soothing radio host who's leaning in close to the microphone like a weird kind of ASMR, and now he can't stop thinking about how warm Daniel's breath felt against his ear? Daniel's voice reminds him of how Jen talks, except this time it actually works on him.

Is this how Gwen feels?

He owes her a million apologies for all the times he's teased her for being tripped up by Jen's voice.

"You didn't expect...?"

"...Your voice to sound so nice! Yeah, uh, I was thinking it would be like, higher, maybe? But this. This is. Rad. Tubular!" What is it that David says sometimes? Hooey? This is a hooey situation he's found himself in.

Shit, is he flirting?

He better not be.

That would be… he has to say awful because.

David loves Daniel.

And Daniel loves David.

It's right there, in their letters, and with how David is living life without a single flower in his throat.

Unlike Clementine.

The memory of the kind woman sobers him up to calm his racing heart, and he pulls his scarf down to smile at Daniel, the blonde quirking an eyebrow up with interest.

"Was that a compliment?"

"Yeah, it was." He needs to stop this train quickly, before any of his emotions get out of hand. "Let's get you to David. He'll be super stoked to see you here."

"You really do use outdated slang like it's normal." Whatever Daniel is looking for, he finds as the blonde looks immensely satisfied with how Jasper tries desperately to chill the fuck out. Jasper, still trying to stop this train from chugging ahead, shrugs coolly and continues on the path with Daniel close beside him.

"And you speak weirdly... proper?"

"I was raised as such."

"'Cause of your church?"

"Not completely." This time the blonde shrugs, fingers hooking into his pant's pockets. Actually, now that he gets a good look at his outfit, Daniel's clothing choice didn't look too... fitting for the weather they were braving. Although Daniel's cardigan is rather flattering on him, Jasper can't help but find that it looks a bit too thin for the weather they were having. As if on cue, Daniel lets out a small shudder, only to act as though he wasn't just shivering from the cold.

Uh huh.

In a smooth movement, Jasper takes Daniel's wrist, lifting it up to pinch the inside of his sleeve.

"What-" Daniel yelps, "Jasper, what are you-"

"Hold still." His fingers rub the inside of the cardigan, and sure enough, the fabric, while soft and comfortable, isn't thick enough for the coming winter. Jasper swears that he himself owns cardigans that are warmer than this expensive piece of bedsheet that Daniel is wearing. Didn't David mention once that Daniel's city is somewhere more south than where they lived?

Supposedly, it is a considerably warmer climate than theirs, and their sources of magic, while minimal in comparison to their community's, came from local foliage and whatever plants they could grow in the community. Succulents, cacti. The city didn't quite have the space for trees as their town did, but he did hear that they didn't even need that much magic to survive. Solar power - possibly the new future they would have to look forward to.

He shakes his head to keep his mind focused. Right. Maybe a cardigan like this makes sense from where Daniel is from, but certainly not here. He releases Daniel's wrist as he frowns. "Aren't you cold?"

"No," he scoffs. Then he mumbles softly, "Yes, actually." Jasper rolls his eyes but smiles regardless, taking off his scarf and wrapping it around Daniel.

"Here." Daniel stands still as he watches Jasper wrap the purple, woolen clothing around his neck. After some thought, Jasper removes his beanie and covers Daniel's head and ears with it. Mr. Pinecone wraps his soft arms around Jasper's neck, and he lifts a hand up to steady the teddy bear clinging to him tightly. "There we go. It's not much, but it'll keep you a whole lot warmer than just your cardigan."

Daniel says nothing, instead pulling the scarf up to cover his mouth and nose. "Thank you."

"No problem, dude."

"You're not getting these back." A bark of laughter erupts from Jasper as he shakes his head. Talk about adamant. Not like Jasper would argue for the clothing back. Daniel looks cute in-

Brakes.

"Alright, Danny. I have more scarves and beanies at home anyway." He continues forward, hands burying themselves into his jean pockets now that he no longer has his scarf to cling to. The crunch of the dirt beneath him sounds like it usually does, and he frowns, knowing that he should be hearing another pair of shoes following him. Turning around, he faces Daniel to ask if something is wrong, only to stare in confusion instead.

Daniel just.

Watches him.

Hands clinging to the purple scarf wrapped around him as icy blues stare him down, slightly wide, unblinking.

Jasper gulps.

This is... unnerving. The blank look in his eyes makes it difficult for Jasper to read him, something Jasper isn't quite used to. He's used to reading people fairly easily - most think they can hide their feelings behind a quirk or a smile, a well-timed gesture, an offhand comment, a simple joke.

But Jasper knows better. Knows where to look in case there's something hiding in the corners of their eyes, the twitches of their lips, how their hands curl and unfurl, feet tapping against the floor, and where their eyes turn to look.

Daniel, however, is blank. Jasper can't read anything from his eyes; there's no tells in his body language to give him a fair guess at what he's feeling, and the way he holds himself is distant, as if he's not ready yet to open up despite technically knowing Jasper for years now.

And then Daniel does something.

Tilts his head to the side.

"You called me, Danny."

"Oh." Was that it? He tries to read Daniel again, but nothing comes up. "Are you- do you not like it?" Did Daniel ever mention not liking that nickname? He's been calling him that for years through their notes and shared pictures - why the strange reaction?

"No no, it's not that. It's just-" The man pauses, eyes looking towards the sky as if to gather his thoughts. When he looks back to Jasper, his eyes have warmed a bit, and there's a smile on his face. It's enough to get Jasper to relax. "It's different hearing it in real life, rather than just reading it on paper."

Rays of the setting sun sink past the bare branches of the trees, highlighting Daniel's hair as it catches the last remaining bits of sunlight and gives a certain sparkle that Jasper has never witnessed before. The cold bites at his cheeks and nips at his ears and he thinks, no, indulges in a single thought.

Daniel looks really good in purple.

Ignoring the camera hanging from his neck, he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his trusty, bulky polaroid. He brings it up to eye level, Daniel gazing at Jasper curiously, hand gripping tightly to the scarf as the smile stays on his face.

"Smile," he whispers, letting the wind carry his message to Daniel. And the blonde's eyes twinkle with the sunlight as the camera makes a click. Daniel walks over as Jasper takes the picture and waits for the film to develop.

"Do I look breathtaking?" His warm breath brushes against Jasper's cheek, and he thinks it feels different from when Daniel was purposely trying to make him flustered. The warmth that radiates from him feels more genuine, more natural. Daniel rests a hand on the shoulder that Mr. Pinecone doesn't occupy and leans closer to see the picture better.

The picture develops, and Jasper forgets how to breathe.

"...Oh."

A realization.

Jasper smiles past his paling and ignores how much he wants to keep this photo for himself.

"Well?"

"I think," he hums, pretending to think when really all he wants to do is blank out, "I think Davey would like this picture a lot."

"You think so?" There's a hidden bit of nervousness in his voice. A little bit of excited anticipation.

Right.

Daniel is here for David.

Jasper's just the sideshow.

He needs to remember that.

"I know so. I've known Davey since he was practically born." Daniel's hand slips off from Jasper's shoulder as Jasper turns abruptly. "Which reminds me, he'll be coming back from work soon. We should hustle if we wanna surprise him."

"Oh, right." Daniel gestures for Jasper to continue leading the way while Jasper puts both the photo and camera away.

The rest of the walk is relatively peaceful, with Daniel and Jasper chattering away about meaningless things and happenstances. Jasper ignores the twisting feeling in his chest and keeps his hands firmly planted in his pockets. He ignores how he sees the little twitches in Daniel's hands, as though he wants to grab onto something warm before settling back into the scarf. Jasper finds himself ignoring a lot of things, choosing instead to stare blankly ahead and avoiding Daniel's eyes for the time being.

It's a good thing Daniel is more interested in the nature that surrounds him, something so different than from what he's used to that Jasper can get away with providing stock answers.

Before he realizes it, they make it to David's cottage fairly quickly. His hand hovers over the handle, the door recognizing his aura and swinging open to allow him in. Jasper gestures for Daniel to follow, a smile coming easily as he practically sweeps the blonde in.

"Welcome to Davey's humble abode." He walks straight into the kitchenette, camera left behind on the coffee table as he grabs a kettle and fills it with water. "Want something warm to drink?"

"Tea, please." Daniel stands awkwardly in the living room. Jasper rolls his eyes fondly and points at the couch.

"You can sit there. You're probably tired, right?"

"Yes. Well, not entirely but I did come a long way." Mr. Pinecone pats Jasper's cheek, and the brunette lets the bear down. He watches as the bear hobbles quickly over to Daniel, arms up asking to be picked up. A chuckle escapes him as he watches Daniel scoop the bear up with an amount of tenderness he didn't really expect. Although, in hindsight, it made plenty of sense.

"You're from the southern region, right?"

"Yes." Daniel cradles Mr. Pinecone in his arms as he looks up towards Jasper. "Luckily I took a train for most of the way here. Mr. Pinecone insisted on walking, but I declined, so he had to figure out which train to take instead."

"Wait- are you saying that Mr. P had to figure out which train to take?"

"Shut up." Daniel frowns as he levels a glare at Jasper. Jasper snickers in response and waves his hand for Daniel to continue. "I didn't know what town you two lived in, and Mr. Pinecone knows various paths to get to and fro."

"I bet. He's still very late to both ends regardless."

"You are correct with that." The kettle whistles behind him, prompting Jasper to take it off the stove. He reaches up to where David stores his mugs and teas and looks over to Daniel, the blonde quietly playing with Mr. Pinecone. "Davey's got uhh, looks like lavender, chamomile, and... a mystery tea. What's your pick?"

"Mysteries are fun."

"Mystery it is." He spoons out enough for three cups, but pours only enough for two. Pulling out his phone, he checks the time and hums to himself before putting it back and carrying the mugs over. He sets Daniel's mug down in front of him before settling down on the couch. Mr. Pinecone escapes Daniel's grasp to crawl over to Jasper, eliciting a chuckle from the brunette as the bear gets comfortable.

The two of them sip in silence, Jasper staring into his mug as the dark liquid swishes in his mouth. It tastes kind of sweet, but only subtly so. The rest of it has no hint of bitterness to it, which surprises Jasper. He's never really had a tea that wasn't just a tinge bit bitter. He's almost come to expect it, an anticipation that he thought would never fail him.

Color him pleasantly surprised.

"Mmm." Daniel stares down into his mug in shock as well. "I didn't expect that."

"Yeah." He chuckles and takes another sip, savoring the taste. "Mystery was a good choice." Looking over at Daniel, he notices that the blonde has yet to remove the hat and scarf. With a quick flick of his fingers, the garments carefully lift from Daniel and drape themselves over his luggage. A surprised grunt escapes Daniel as he watches the garments leave him, an eyebrow raised as he looks to Jasper.

"I could have taken them off myself."

"Yeah, or you could have worn them inside the entire time." He laughs as Daniel pouts, ignoring how cute the other looks. "Davey does the same thing sometimes."

"Does he?" Intrigued, Daniel sets down his mug to focus on Jasper.

"Mhm. He can be pretty forgetful when it comes to himself. Sometimes it feels like if I wasn't around, he'd be forgetting to hydrate or take a break or something." He shrugs, looking into his mug. "I should be trusting him to take care of himself, but I dunno. I get worried sometimes. I'm probably just babying him though. He can probably handle himself."

"Mmm." Daniel hums a contemplative note. "I believe it doesn't go unnoticed, however."

"Huh?" Jasper looks over to Daniel, curious. "What do you mean?"

"David speaks a lot about you in our letters." A fond smile crosses his face. "More so than himself. I used to be annoyed by that fact when I was younger. It was always, Jasper this or Jasper that. It was hard to learn more about him when you were always attached to his stories."

"Oh, um, sorry about that." He laughs nervously as he rubs the back of his head. "If it helps, he'd always talk nonstop about you. I got a little jealous as a kid because of that."

"Jealous? Of me? What for?" Daniel's smile becomes absolutely cat-like. "I was just a little kid in the big city, there was nothing to be jealous of."

"Oh haha, I'm sure you know." He smirks but indulges him anyways. "He'd always talk about how you'd tell him about that amazing city you lived in, all the cool tech and gadgets you guys had. They don't need magic, Jasp!" Jasper's voice goes up two octaves to mimic the voice from his memories, head shaking as he laughs. "He was so psyched whenever you sent him a letter." He chuckles fondly as the face of an excited David comes to mind. "It always sounded like he wanted to get away from here. He ever mention that he's not so great at magic?"

"Yes."

"I think that was why." He sips his tea, contemplative. "Everywhere around here was just a reminder that he wasn't as good as everyone else. All the nature and abundance of spores and people saying how lucky and convenient it was to live here, and yet he couldn't tap into any of it. So hearing that you were from the city," he glances at Daniel, catching his eye, "that was like the silver lining he was looking for."

"Strange reason for jealousy. Unless," Daniel holds his gaze with the smile no longer present, "that wasn't all there was to it, was there?"

"...Maybe." He shrugs again to refrain from leaking a once present fear out. It's no longer a fear, of course, just something he's come to accept. David was always meant to leave him. All he needs is the hanahaki to cement that, and then he'll be able to let him go. "But all of that's gone now. I'm glad you're his friend. It was hard for him growing up, with just me. He used to hate everything all the time, and sometimes I thought he even hated me. But then he met you, and things started to look up for him. Like he could finally see hope again." He smiles, genuine and thankful, at Daniel as the man blinks slowly. "You changed his life in a way I couldn't do for years."

"...You're selling yourself short." Daniel scoots closer to Jasper, close enough that their knees bump against each other and neither of them move to add distance. "David told me. How you signed him up without his permission." Jasper laughs and nearly spills his tea, but a light blue glow keeps the liquid in the cup.

"He was so mad when he found out."

"He told me that too. In our very first letter in fact. I'm not supposed to tell you this but, given all he's told me about you, I wouldn't be surprised if you already figured it out." Still, Daniel leans in with a conspiring grin, a not-so-secret secret ready to leave his lips. Jasper rolls his eyes but leans in regardless, his own smirk matching the mischievous act.

"What is it?"

Daniel cups his hand around his mouth and whispers, "He was really happy you did that for him."

And Jasper whispers back with feigned shock, "Really? No way!"

And they both snicker together, knees pressing closer together, the tips of their fingers gently meeting on the couch.

And neither of them move for a while. They simply stare for a minute, looking into each other's eyes, and Jasper thinks, he thinks he's relieved he got over his jealousy of Daniel and his fear of David leaving him behind.

It was childish, fearing that David would one day disappear to go to the city without him. Silly that he believed that David would just abandon him one day because he found a better reason to be happy that didn't include him. Selfish to think that he could just stay by David's side forever, and that it was fine for things to stay as they were without any regard to how David felt.

David needs change in his life - needs somewhere, someplace where he feels like he belongs. Even if that means Jasper has to step aside and let someone else take over.

That's what David needs.

And now, he's here.

And Jasper knows he can trust David to Daniel.

"I'm glad I got to meet you too." Daniel keeps his hushed tone, as if the words he speaks are meant to be secrets only the two of them should know. Jasper laughs and shakes his head.

"Same, dude."

"I mean it." Daniel's blue eyes bore into his own with a tinge of something that Jasper finds he doesn't want to identify. "I- well, let's just say that I wasn't expecting to actually gain a long term friend through the means of the pen pal system, nevertheless two." Fingers brush closer together, almost intertwining. "You two are... something special to me."

Jasper swallows hard. Looks away. Laughs nervously and digs his fingers into the couch and prays that he doesn't make the wrong move.

And so he repeats.

Daniel is David's.

And David is Daniel's.

And he is neither's.

No matter how much he yearns.

He squeezes his eyes shut and pulls his hand away, ignoring the look of hurt that crosses Daniel's face as he stands up. Mr. Pinecone scrambles off his lap as he does so, Daniel's hands grabbing the bear and holding tightly to him.

"Jasper-"

"Sorry, I just need to warm my tea up again. Do you want some more?" He points to Daniel's empty mug, now a healthy distance away from his friend. Daniel looks down in surprise, and Jasper sighs with relief as Daniel continues to recover from the sudden change in topic.

"Oh, um, sure-" The sound of the door unlocking grabs Daniel's attention, and he quickly scoops up the mug and dashes into the kitchenette before he can be stopped. As soon as he starts pouring the quickly heated water into David and Daniel's mug, David steps into the living room with a tired sigh.

"...Jasper, I know you're here. What are you-?"

And David halts in his speech.

"Hello." Daniel's tone has resumed what Jasper assumes is his default. Confident. Suave.

"...Daniel?"

"In the flesh."

He steps out of the kitchenette with two steaming mugs as David yells and pulls Daniel into a tight hug, laughing as he hears Daniel's surprised grunt.

"Daniel!"

"Yes, that's me." Daniel chuckles as David pulls apart just enough that they can both see the glee that shines in his eyes. Jasper sets the mug down and sees Mr. Pinecone staring at him from the couch. Unflinching. Like he knew. For a moment, Jasper considers turning tail and leaving.

He instead shoves his hands into his pockets and stands to the side, watching as the two friends in front of him excitedly hold each other like long lost lovers.

The tenderness in Daniel's hands as he rests his hands on David's shoulder. The quiet admiration in David's eyes. How they both smiled as though they finally found their missing half.

Jasper looks away when Daniel reaches up to cup David's face. The intimacy. The unspoken love the two undeniably shared. Years and years of writing letters, sharing secrets and dreams and hopes in their own little world, growing up with elated excitement of receiving a letter from the other, the desire to see the other in the flesh rather than in photographs that could hardly capture the warmth of a real hug, a real person, a real friend.

He considers himself lucky that they even decided to invite him in. Lucky that he had the pleasure of David wanting to share a bit of Daniel with him. Lucky that Daniel even accepted him into their little world.

He has no place here.

The feelings coil up in his chest, tugging and pushing and threatening to break him as he raises his eyes to see David burying his face against Daniel's shoulder as they hug again, this time tighter, this time without the intention of letting go.

Bile raises in his throat as he realizes what one of those feelings are.

Jealousy.

But of who?

He doesn't want to figure that out.

"How long are you staying for?" David's words come out muffled from Daniel's shoulder.

"I was hoping for a while. I packed enough to last a week or two."

"You can bunk with me!" David lifts his head to look excitedly at Daniel before gasping as he meets Jasper's eyes. "We can do a sleepover! You've never had one, right, Daniel? It'll be fun!"

It will not be fun.

But he smiles anyways.

"Sure, but I might be busy."

"When are you ever busy, Jasp?" David rolls his eyes and returns his focus to Daniel.

"So? What do you say?"

"Sounds like a lovely time."

"Wow, you speak just like you write! All elegant and smooth."

Daniel chuckles, turning slightly to meet Jasper's eyes. "Jasper said about the same thing, right?"

And he swallows. Those eyes were staring into him, searching him for something. So he laughs, waves a hand in the air and shrugs.

"Yeah, I said he talks all fancy like."

"And he also said-"

"Oh, Davey, where are you going to have him sleep?" He quickly interrupts Daniel and ignores the frown on Daniel's lips as he gestures to the man. "It'd be totally unrad to have him sleep on the couch."

"Oh, um, I didn't really uh, prepare for this so..."

"I'm fine on the couch, there's nothing to be worried about."

"Or," Jasper supplies easily, "you two can share Davey's bed."

He raises a hand to cover his smile as the two of them blush at the same time.

"W-well," David stammers, suddenly realizing how close he is to Daniel and stepping back bashfully.

"I don't think it'd be appropriate if-" Jasper waves his hand again and ignores his own emotions as calms them both down. Or agitates them more. It doesn't really matter, really.

"There's nothing wrong with two dudes sharing a bed. Davey and I do it from time to time. What's so different about this?"

"I... guess... so?" Hesitantly, David looks to Daniel for his thoughts. But of course, there's only one response Jasper really expects from him.

"I'm fine with it if you are, David."

"Oh! Um, alright then!" And that settles that.

"Alright then, home skillets, I'm gonna bounce outta here then." Quickly grabbing his camera off the coffee table, he makes his way towards David's door when he feels a hand grab his wrist. He turns to find David with a confused look on his face, Daniel's unreadable one just behind him.

"Wait, you're not staying for dinner?"

"Nah, got stuff to do."

"Like what?" David searches his face with worry. "Did you catch a cold?"

"Nah, I got some photos to send to clients." He points to the bulky camera in his hand and smiles. "Gotta make money somehow."

"Uh, right." David's smile doesn't reach his eyes like it normally does, and Jasper knows that it's his fault.

"Don't worry about me, dude, I'll be fine. Here." He reaches into his back pocket, remembering the photo of Daniel he took earlier.

For a moment, he hesitates, considers and reconsiders.

But he needs to learn to let go, right?

Slowly, he pulls it from his pocket and presents it to David, only letting the regret sting him a little bit as David takes it from him.

"This is... amazing! Jasp, how do you always take the best pictures?"

"Consider it a gift of mine. Literally." He grins as he watches David become transfixed by the image. "Happy early birthday."

"Wha- oh! You mean...?"

"Yeah. It's yours." He speaks the words softly and steps back. The picture wasn't even supposed to be his in the first place. He took it for David, which means he has to bite the bullet and let it go. He doesn't want it. He doesn't need it. "I figured you'd like it a lot."

"Thanks, Jasp!" David pulls him into a hug, surprising the brunette as he chuckles and pats his back.

"No prob, bud." Detaching from him quickly, he waves his farewell and turns his back on the pair of them.

And ignores how he feels Daniel's gaze practically weighs him down.

He just wants to go home.

Jasper leaves David's house quickly and shuts the door behind him. As he leans against it to sigh, he finds himself staring up at the night sky. The stars peek through the trees now that the sun has passed below the horizon. An ethereal atmosphere settles around him as the stars twinkle brightly.

It's a moment he'd find more enjoyable if he wasn't alone with his thoughts and choices.

Dimly, he thinks, Beautiful, and considers taking a picture. But the camera weighs too heavily in his hands, and he doesn't think he has the energy to take another picture. A small click catches his attention, and he looks down to see a familiar bear closing a door behind him. Mr. Pinecone stares up at him, before grabbing hold of the camera's strap and using it to climb his way up to Jasper's chest. There, he clings onto the man's jacket and settles in. Jasper chuckles and pats the bear's head as he begins on his trek home.

"...Couldn't leave me alone, could you?"

Mr. Pinecone shakes his head and rests his head against Jasper's chest. Jasper sighs softly, clinging to the bear as his steps grow heavier.

"Thanks, buddy."

---

Jasper feels unbearably cold. No matter how many layers he wears, no matter how much he bundles up, somehow, a chill always finds its way through, and he's left a shivering mess as he tries to escape it. Is this part of the hanahaki process?

Probably not, mostly because he doesn't remember reading about being insufferably cold as a symptom of hanahaki. And also because he recognizes this feeling of unrelenting cold from his childhood.

How annoying.

He grits his teeth and scoots closer to the fireplace.

"Jesus Christ, Jasper." A voice comes up from behind him. "When I said you could warm up in the backroom, I didn't think you'd start up the fireplace too."

"I'm freezing." As if to prove his point, his teeth start to clatter loudly. "I fucking hate the cold."

"It's not even that bad." Gwen kneels down beside him and presses her hand to his forehead. "Dude, are you okay?"

"Fuck." A small head pops up from where he was bundled up amidst Jasper's scarf. Mr. Pinecone begins papping his cheeks gently as if that will warm up the freezing man. "Something's wrong with me."

"Yeah, no shit." Gwen gets up and walks to the minature kitchen set up situated in the corner. A snap, the sound of boiling water, and then the clinking of a mug catches his interest. Sure enough, Gwen comes back to his side with a hot mug to shove into his freezing hands. "Here, drink this. It's hot cocoa."

"Thanks." He puts the mug to his lips and drinks quickly, the hot liquid burning his insides in all the right ways. Groaning, he curls forward and slumps. "Fuck."

"Is everything alright?" Her hand rubs circles into his back, and he laughs weakly as his own hand comes up to gently hold onto Mr. Pinecone.

"Do I look alright?"

"I meant mentally." The sympathetic rubs turn into a punch. He grunts from the contact and nearly spills his hot cocoa.

"Dunno."

"Wrong answer." Gwen sighs, and he turns to look at her, irritation mixed with worry clearly etched into her face. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, you're usually more of a chatty shit than this. What's. Up." He groans, already frustrated by her relentlessness. Unlike David, Gwen actually notices when he's acting off, with or without the strange changes in body temperature. And also unlike David, she refuses to give up until she hears the truth from his lips. He grumbles as he presses his cheek against Mr. Pinecone, wishing the bear was as warm as a living creature.

"Just some dumb feelings, that's all."

"Are they really that dumb? Or is your body temperature fluctuating because you suddenly forgot how to manage your own aura?"

"I'm suddenly really stupid."

"Yeah right, Mr. Top of His Class." She waves a hand, and a blanket settles down around his shoulders with a soft, lavender glow. "This looks like a textbook example of magithermia." He snorts and wraps the blanket tighter around him.

"No it's not."

"Oh my FUCKING god, Jasper." She throws her hands up in the air and groans. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Do I?"

"Yes, you snide little bastard."

"Technically, I'm taller than you."

"Eat my entire ass."

"I'm-"

"Gay, yes, we both are, now cut the crap and tell me what's got your emotions so fucked up that it's starting to mess with you magic to the point of actually lowering your body temperature to dangerous levels." He shrugs and cuddles the bear in his scarf.

"It's not like I haven't been through this before."

"Jasper." Gwen grabs his face and forces him to look at her. "This isn't the time for jokes."

"I wasn't joking." He stares at her as calmly as he can manage, chattering teeth aside. "I've been through this before. I, I just gotta, I gotta just, get my shit under control again-"

"Or maybe don't bottle them up? Christ." Gwen shakes her head and releases his face. "Dude, just talk to me. What's eating you up so bad that your emotions are messing with your aura this badly?"

He hesitates.

It's not that he doesn't trust Gwen with his emotions. On the contrary, she's probably one of the few in his life who can handle his feelings with the maturity he needs. But. She's also dating Jen.

Jen, the same witch who knows that he's waiting for his hanahaki to come and consume him.

Jen, the same witch who will instantly know exactly why he's suffering from magithermia and immediately berate him for it.

Jen, the same witch Gwen will double team with once the blonde spills the beans about everything to her girlfriend.

And he doesn't think he can handle both of them berating and calling him an idiot at the same time.

"I... really don't want to."

"Stop being a brat before I call Jen over here for a medical emergency."

"Oh my god do NOT involve Jen in this."

"And why not?"

"She'll roast me alive."

"Good." Gwen takes out her phone. "I think that's just what you need-"

Violet light takes her phone and levitates it out of her hand, only for the magic to flicker and fizzle out. Her phone drops to the floor with a loud thud.

"...Shit."

"That was so pathetic I almost feel sorry for you." She picks up her phone and counts the new cracks on her screen. "Almost."

"Gwen, wait- If I tell you everything, will you promise not to call Jen?" Nervousness leaks into his voice, and Gwen raises an eyebrow at this.

"...Okay?" It's hesitant, but she puts her phone down nonetheless. "What's going on, Jasper?"

"Um..." He almost doesn't want to say, just because thinking why his emotions are fluctuating and clashing like this seems so silly and dramatic. But he has to say, doesn't he? Maybe it'll help. "Well, Daniel is here now."

"...No shit." She leans closer to him, and he leans away from her. "The Daniel?" He nods. "For how long?"

"He's been here for like... two weeks now?"

"Two weeks?" She frowns, leaning back and looking over Jasper as she really takes in his shivering form. "When did the magithermia start?"

"Uhhh, recently? I mean, I guess it started pretty gradually, but it hit its peak today probably."

"...So this all started around the time Daniel showed up?"

"Yyyyyyes."

"Aren't you like, good friends with him? What about this has got you- oh." Jasper knows she doesn't have to think hard. Or look hard. Every time he's come to visit her, he's had a certain someone attached to his hip. Her eyes widen as she connects the dots with little help from him. "You weren't kidding when you said he was more David's boyfriend than-"

"He was never mine, dude. Just Davey's." Her frown deepens and he looks away. Repeat and repeat. That's all he has to do. "And now that he's here for real, it'll only be a matter of time before they make it official."

"How do you know that?"

"Gwen, if anyone knows Davey like the back of their hand, it's me."

"Then you would know he would lose his shit if he finds out you've been hiding this-"

"IF he finds out. And he hasn't!" Gwen groans as she puts her hands on his shoulders.

"Why, out of all the people in the world, does he of all people not know." Jasper snaps his fingers.

"Avoidance."

"...You've been AVOIDING him?!"

"And Daniel! But, to be fair," he takes a deep, steadying breath, "it's because they've been going on dates."

"...What."

"Yup."

"You're kidding," she says softly. "Jasper, are you... is this why?"

"I'm happy for them." He grins, as shaky as it is, he grins and it feels genuine. It feels like the truth. "I really am. They've wanted to meet each other for ages. They were basically flirting in their letters every time. And now they can do it face to face. They can do so many things face to face." The mug in his hands cools quickly. "So I'm. Really. Really. Happy for them."

And yet.

It still hurts.

It hurts, and he's been expecting the hurt, but it hurts more and more with each passing day, each time he catches their stolen glances, the secret smiles, the light brushing of fingers, almost holding but not quite.

It hurts because sometimes David will do the same with him, when he and Daniel walk David to work and he feels David's hand brush against his, or the stolen glances, the soft smile directed at him and only him.

Like he has a chance.

And Daniel is right next to him, his shoulders stiff as if he's trying so hard not to notice what's going on, and Jasper can't do that to him.

He can't do that to either of them. He wants no part of some heartbreaking love triangle that doesn't need to exist, so he steps back.

Removes himself from the picture.

Resigns himself to his fate.

And he lies.

When he was a child, he learned that magic is incredibly intertwined with emotions, that powers can fluctuate and weaken with how a person feels. Magical maladies are commonplace with humans as a result - emotions fluctuate, the spores inside and around them react in kind, and suddenly someone finds that they are breaking out into scales or they begin to burn everything they touch. Only someone who is so honest with themselves, so willing to see the world as it is and bear no secrets to hold could say with confidence that they have mastered magic.

That's why no one in the entire world has ever completely mastered the arts.

And so magic, in all its use and greatness, can also bring about maladies and unfortunate consequences.

Living with magic means to live in magic, and the spores were already firmly planted into each living human the minute they were born.

And now, the spores in Jasper's body are disagreeing greatly with his mix of emotions, the feelings twisting and churning and threatening to climb up his throat and tear him apart from the inside out.

He lets out a heaving sigh, and Gwen keeps a steadying hand on him.

"You need to be honest with yourself." Gwen speaks softly, and he can see where her studies are kicking in. "It's the only way you can get over this."

"I don't want to."

"You're destroying yourself."

"Fine." He grits his teeth and ignores the familiar look that settles on Gwen's face.

The same look Jen wore when they were talking about his potential hanahaki.

No wonder they are dating.

"Stop acting like you're doing the right thing. Admit it - you're not happy."

"I am."

"You're not!"

"You don't get it!" he snaps, lips pulled into a snarl he's not accustomed to wearing. It's enough that Gwen is taken back, stunned into silence as Jasper takes a steadying breath and shakes his head. "I am happy. I really am. Them being happy makes me so happy. They've both been in my life for ages, why WOULDN'T I be happy?" He pulls his beanie off to run his fingers through his hair, hating that it feels like it's been blown through the winter winds when the weather outside is nothing more than chilly. "I'm so fucking happy for them. But it's, it's also-" He gestures into the air wildly. "I'm also... it's hard to explain! I mean, I know what's coming, and I thought I was prepared but-" He remembers Clementine again, pale with broken, chapped lips, flowers with meaning tearing through her without sympathy, and suddenly death doesn't sound like something so easily taken with stride. His hand goes up to his throat and he swallows thickly, wondering for a moment if he's truly ready to know what it's like to cough up flowers that know him better than he knows himself.

Wonders, really wonders, if dying a death among flowers is really as romantic as it sounds on paper.

Then, realization.

"I'm... I'm scared." Tears slowly form in the corners of his eyes. "I'm... terrified."

Gently, Gwen asks him, "Of what?"

"Of..." He squeezes his eyes shut and presses the heel of his palm against his eyes. "Death."

Only the crackling of the fire is heard as they both hold their breath. He's scared of death.

But... it's not just that simple, is it?

He's scared of dying.

But he's also scared of David dying.

And he's scared of Daniel dying.

He's scared that one of them will die, and he's not sure anymore which is the lesser evil of them all. If he is selfish, then he could take David's hand and press a kiss to it. Cup David's face and kiss him like he's dreamed of for days and days and days.

But then...

He remembers Clementine, curled over with flowers sprouting from her throat like a bouquet ready to be given to her deceased boyfriend, but instead of Clementine, it's Daniel.

Roses sprout from his throat, their thorns ripping him up from the inside as blood drips from the corner of his mouth, stems peeking out as he tears them out and grips them tight.

And Daniel smiles.

Tired, resigned, defeated.

And Jasper despises the thought, dashes it away.

But then there's David. David, who would accept his love even if he didn't truly love him, because he's kind like that. David, who would let love pass him by if it meant that he could save Jasper from the pain of rejection and carry the burden instead. David, who would hide his coughing behind a freckled hand, waving off concern as petals of a striped carnation forces its way out and into the world.

Awful, awful realities he doesn't want to face.

But then, what of Jasper?

What flowers would bloom from him?

If it has to bloom from him, he hopes it will be purple, something in a shade of his favorite color. He hopes it will be small and pretty, so that when he has to pull the accursed plants from his lungs and throat, he'll have a handful of gruesome beauty in his hands. And, if he is so lucky to have the spores grant him his wish, he hopes it will mean something to match the sorrow he feels, the guilt he holds if he chooses to stay quiet. Nothing of love, for that will just remind everyone of why he died.

Just of regret. That they find it in their hearts to forgive him.

That he's sorry that it had to end this way.

And he wonders, for a moment, what's more selfish?

Wanting to live and to love, at the cost of breaking another's heart?

Or wanting his loved ones to stay alive, at the cost of burying him in a grave of his own doing?

The fire crackles softly.

And when he opens his eyes, there's a hand a darker tone than his own gently holding his.

And Gwen looks at him, eyes that shine like the lovely jewels that Jen loves, and her gaze softens.

"Jasper." She squeezes his hand. "Tell me what's wrong."

He swallows, before feeling a soft tapping at his cheek.

Encouragement.

With a sigh, he slumps forward and stares into the fire, avoiding Gwen's eyes as he tries to find the right way to start his story.

And he remembers eyes that look like David's but not quite, a smile that tried to hide the truth of her fear from Jasper, and an angelic, otherworldly glow that reminded him of the impermanence of existence.

And how easy it is to let something consume a person beyond a chance of recovery.

And so he begins, a hushed voice that barely carries over the sound of the fire.

"...Do you remember that woman? The one who bought a harmonica?"

---

It's not often they manage to drag Jasper along on one of their dates, as he likes to call it. He usually declines, claiming that he's busy with taking pictures, or that he needs to go visit Jen due to his magithermia acting up again. And usually he's not lying - he really IS taking pictures for clients, and he really IS visiting Jen for help managing his aura. But eventually, he runs out of things to take pictures of, and his magithermia hasn't gotten as bad as it did back when he talked to Gwen. So it comes as no surprise when David stops being patient and (politely) kicks his door open with a bright, "Goooood morning, Jasper!"

Jasper groans and covers his head with a pillow.

"Go away, I'm sleeping."

"It's almost ten! And anyways, Daniel and I really want to hang out with you today!"

"...Why?"

"It's um. Well." The nervous excitement in his voice stirs something painful in Jasper's chest, and he thinks, Finally. He pulls the pillow off his head and looks up at the ginger.

"What is it?"

"It's... something important! But before that, we want to have fun with you!" David grabs Jasper's hand and pulls him up with ease, the brunette groaning again as he's forced from his bed. Already, David is going through his closet and pulling out the warmest things Jasper owns: a thick, fur-lined purple flannel; soft, warm socks; winter ready pants; a parka that stops at his knees; and, of course, a beanie with a matching scarf. He picks up the beanie, the gray color surprisingly fitting for the twisting feeling that refuses to leave him be. With a sigh, he doesn't look up as he addresses David.

"Are you going to watch me change too?"

"Wh- no! Sorry, I'll uh, I'll be outside." Jasper continues to stare down at the beanie as David's footsteps stop by his door, pausing a moment before leaving the room entirely and shutting it close. David whispers something, and another voice mumbles back to him from outside his room.

Right.

Daniel.

He gathers up his clothes and heads to the bathroom, getting himself ready for the day.

And heaven knows that he needs to be ready for it.

As he pulls on the pants that David picked out, he comes to another realization as he quickly removes them. Digging through his hamper, he pulls out his magic boy pants. He slips a hand into his back pocket, searching around the pocket dimension before he finds what he's looking for. A bottle with a familiar label is pulled out. He rolls it around his hands, fingers rubbing the label with words he's memorized, and uncorks it to take a whiff.

Still smells like cherry.

The bottle returns to the pocket now that he's verified the potion is still drinkable. The taste will be awful but… he just has to be ready. Just has to prepare himself.

Quickly, he pulls on the pants and the rest of his clothes on before the cold gets to him and practices levitating his toothbrush. It hovers in the air for one minute, then two, before falling down on the third minute.

Getting better.

But not quite there.

At least he's not freezing anymore. Cold, sure, but not freezing.

Once he thinks he's as prepared for the day as he could be, he slips the beanie down enough to nearly cover his eyes, and the scarf is wrapped around his neck, strategically hiding more of his face as he leaves the room. Almost immediately, both pairs of eyes are on him as he fidgets in front of his bedroom door.

"Uh... sup?"

David's eyes immediately go to his pants and he frowns. "Are those... enough to keep you warm?" That draws Daniel's attention, his eyebrow quirked up as he recognizes them.

"I just need the pocket. You know. Just in case." He reaches in and pulls out a small vial - a potion for his magithermia, courtesy of Jen.

"Oh, right, that makes sense." David nods in agreement before rushing over to shove a mug into his hands. "Here, drink this."

"Jesus, Davey, you don't have to baby me." He chuckles lightly as he pulls down on his scarf enough to take a sip of the concoction David made. A homemade recipe, one that David's mom taught David back when Jasper had his first bout of magithermia as a child. The potion warms him to his core, the taste of it sweet as he drinks more of it. He smiles as he feels his temperature rise enough to make him feel a little bit more normal and enjoys the feeling before the effects fade away. It's not as strong as the small vial he keeps on his person for emergencies, but it works enough to take the edge away from the cold.

And he appreciates the effort David put in to make it.

Performing magic isn't his thing.

But homebrewed potions of his caliber were nothing to be scoffed at.

He finishes the potion and sets the mug down on a side table where a book lays innocently, readjusting his scarf and nodding to the pair waiting on him.

"Alright, I should be good now." The three of them leave Jasper's cottage together as Jasper flinches from the winter winds. While not as strong as the worst of winter, the cold bites at the small bit of skin he has exposed, and he shivers as he steps closer to David's side. He half expects Daniel to take David's other side, but instead, the blonde flanks Jasper's right, surprising the man as he's sandwiched between his two friends.

"Let me see your hands." Daniel holds out a gloved hand, patient as Jasper hesitates. Slowly, Jasper pulls his hands free of his pockets and grits his teeth against the cold. Without missing a beat, Daniel pulls out a pair of gloves similar to the ones he wears and slips them onto Jasper. Warmth envelops his hands, and he gasps. Daniel takes Jasper's hands and squeezes them gently. "In return for the scarf and hat you gave me."

"Thanks, Danny. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." Daniel's hands linger for a moment, before dropping to let Jasper test out the fit. The enchanted gloves fit perfectly on his hands, his fingers wiggling and flexing as he feels them out. Daniel pats his shoulder and motions him forward, David already ahead of them and watching them with a strange look in his eyes.

Oh. Right.

Quickly, he catches up to David with Daniel right by his side, and the three of them continue their trek through the woods into town. For a moment, he wonders just what it is the two of them have planned. There's no special event happening in the town square, nor are there any scenic views he hasn't gone and seen already. Just what is it that they have planned?

They walk into the town square, passing by Gwen's store and all the street performers. They continue walking, past familiar store fronts and the market until they come to a stop in front of the train station.

...Train station?

"Uh, guys?" Daniel is already heading towards the ticket booth, leaving Jasper with David who bounces excitedly on his feet. "Davey?"

"A co-worker was telling me about a festival in a nearby town." David grabs Jasper's hand and tugs him over to the ticket booth. "He said they have an ice rink! And there's an ice sculpting competition, stalls for seasonal food, regular ol' carnival games and prizes, and even a stage area where a band plays and people get to dance! Daniel said it'd be a fun way to get you out of town and, well, get you to enjoy yourself." David pauses in his steps and looks to Jasper. Green eyes stare deep into Jasper's with a mess of emotions that Jasper doesn't have the energy to decipher. "You... haven't been yourself lately."

"Oh, uh, haha," he buries a hand into his scarf, a habit that David notices with a frown, "sorry. I guess this magithermia has been affecting me more than I'd like to admit."

"...Did something happen Jasper? You know you can-"

"Alright, I've got the tickets. The train should be- am I interrupting something?" Daniel looks between the two of them, David's furrowed eyebrows as he focuses on Jasper, and Jasper looking ready to hide deeper in his scarf. "...Okay then, let's just wait for the train." Daniel steps between them, effectively providing a barrier between Jasper and David. As Daniel soothes David's protests, Jasper physically relaxes a bit, relieved to not having to answer David's questions.

He wasn't sure he was ready for that conversation just yet.

The three of them find a bench to sit on, and quietly, they watch as the snow begins to fall slowly around them. Jasper holds a hand out to watch as one little flake lands on his palm. He wishes for a second that he could halt the snowfall for just a moment like he used to. No doubt, the scenery would make for a lovely picture.

But he's still too weak to manage a few flakes, nevermind a small area's worth of snow. He sighs softly, dropping his hand into his lap. To his side, Daniel and David are engrossed in a conversation of sorts, their hushed tones keeping Jasper from eavesdropping.

Not that he cares too much.

It makes it easier on him, actually. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his phone and headphones, plugging in to tune out reality for a moment and settles into a world where nothing can bother him, and everything is a distant kind of numb.

He closes his eyes and lets his mind run its wretched course.

There's no doubt about it - David and Daniel are taking him out to have a good time before announcing they are an official couple. Daniel's been here for about a month now, the man not intending on leaving anytime soon.

Said something about how the forest feels lived in, more alive than the city he came from. More welcoming, more homey.

Of course he wouldn't want to leave.

And of course they wouldn't turn him away.

Now half of his wardrobe comes from David, Jasper's broad-shouldered tops more loose fitting than the blonde would prefer. And Daniel looks good in David's clothes. Attractive, eye-catching.

Once he started wearing David's clothes on an on-and-off basis, he was sure it wouldn't be too long before they announced it to everyone they knew. Since discovering his magithermia, Jen and Gwen made it a point to introduce themselves to Daniel.

Scope out the blonde.

See if he was really worth all the emotional toil that Jasper was willingly putting himself through. Luckily the man was charismatic, and the two women begrudgingly admitted that he was a nice enough guy. And Daniel looked happy to have two more friends to add to his repertoire. So he figured that maybe Jen and Gwen would be here too, to share in the revelry of David and Daniel's new relationship.

And provide Jasper a means of escape if need be.

But now he's trapped, without the help of Jen or Gwen to distract the pair for when he needs to run away to a bathroom to hide for an hour or two. God, maybe he should text one of them just in case.

There's a little tickle in his throat, and he wishes he was home instead of here.

A finger taps his arm, grabbing his attention. He turns his head to face Daniel as the man gestures to the train now arriving in front of them. Right. Train time.

The train ride passes about the same, except with the added bonus of Jasper staring out the window as David and Daniel continue to talk without him. He pretends not to notice the exchanged looks of concern as they continue to talk. Instead, he watches the world pass by them in a blur and wonders what it'd look like in the summer instead.

They arrive at their destination without much fanfare, and Jasper stows his phone and headphones away as he's once again flanked on both sides.

"So... where to now?" Jasper slips a smile on, trying to act less like a surly teen and more like a bro hanging out with his two best friends. David buys into it quickly, probably getting tired of Jasper's downer mood and happy for the chance to be optimistic.

Or something like that.

"The website said that it'd be in the town square, so we just have to follow the map to get there!" Already, he's back to his bubbly self, grabbing Jasper's arm to tug him along. "You haven't had anything since that brew I made, so first thing's first, we should get lunch."

"I am feeling a bit peckish." Daniel keeps up with David's quick pace, chuckling as Jasper stumbles a bit.

"Christ, Davey, you don't have to pull me along like some kid, I can follow fine!" He tries to shake off David's grip, but the ginger's grip only tightens. Surprised, he looks up to see a fiercely determined look set in his eyes. A tinge of stress. And a large amount of worry that edges in. Mixed together, Jasper realizes that the storm in David's eyes is hiding his fear.

But fear of what?

"Perhaps it would be best if you released Jasper for a bit, David." David comes to a halt, turning to look at Daniel as the blonde meets his gaze. The two seem to have a silent conversation, an ability that must have developed when Jasper left them alone for the entire month. Still, he doesn't feel comfortable being caught in between them and tries again to shake off David.

This time it works, but the resigned sigh that comes from David is enough to suggest that he only released Jasper because he had to.

"...Sorry." David rubs his arm sheepishly, smiling apologetically at Jasper. "I guess I got ahead of myself."

"It's alright. You're probably just excited, like usual." He tries to make it lighthearted, but it falls flat as David looks away.

Awkward and tense isn't something he's accustomed to feeling around David.

He flounders, a hand reaching out to David before faltering and ultimately withdrawing as he looks down.

This sucks.

He's making everything suck.

"Oh Jesus fucking Christ." Daniel huffs as he steps between them again, this time looping arms with both of them and forcing them forward without hesitation. "Could you two maybe get a grip? Today, we're going to have fun. We're going to eat good food and enjoy each other's company, and while we're at it, get a new friend for Mr. Pinecone. Maybe even indulge in some drinks and dancing. No more of this sour attitude that seems to be plaguing the both of you. Understand?" Daniel stares straight ahead, ignoring the two surprised looks he gets from David and Jasper.

"Um, okay."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Apology accepted. Now, let's get some food because I'm fucking starving."

"Cursing? Really? From someone as proper like you?" Jasper tries again with a joke, hoping that this one sticks. Daniel levels Jasper with a stare before smirking.

Uh oh.

"You'd be surprised at what I can do with a mouth like mine."

And to top it off, Daniel licks his lips, causing Jasper to take his free hand to pull his scarf up higher. David laughs from Daniel's other side, and... Jasper relaxes.

This. This feels like it should be normal. It should be normal. Yeah, he can do this.

He can just, enjoy the moment while it lasts.

And so he smiles, more genuine this time.

Perhaps things will be okay after all.

The two of them drag Jasper from place to place. Jasper and Daniel have a small eating competition, the two of them trying to see who can finish a turkey leg first while David cheers them on. It's a close race, but Jasper ultimately comes out on top with the cleanest bone any of them has ever seen. As a reward for winning, Jasper has Daniel put on a pair of gimmicky mascot ears. It's with absolute glee that Jasper realizes that the ears he chose were that of pointed dog ears, and when he searches the store a bit more, he finds a hooded red cape that has him putting an entire plan in motion.

That is, begging David to please put on the cape please please please it'll be so funny he's fucking begging him to-

And of course, David agrees with much confusion.

It's only when he sees the camera come out that David realizes his mistake.

A flash and some running later, Jasper has a new photo for his collection. David immediately takes the cape off soon after, and Jasper decides he'll gift it to Jen in case she could find a use for it, as cheap as the material is.

Soon after, the trio end up wandering to the carnival games where David spots an impossibly large stuffed bear with fur the color of cream. He doesn't have to beg hard until both Jasper and Daniel are seated at the booth, toy guns held firmly in their hands as they both shell out money for the game.

Carnival games are rigged.

But Jasper has played enough video games to know where to aim, and he fares better than Daniel, who gripes the entire time with each missed shot. David volunteers to take over, and to Daniel's surprise, David's steady hand and keen eye has him hitting more targets than expected. Through the combined effort of childhood friend camaraderie, Jasper and David win enough times to slowly work their way through trading the smaller prizes for bigger prizes until finally, the large bear is in his hands to carry home as a surprise for Mr. Pinecone.

More games are played with less luck. Turns out, Jasper is horrible at darts, but Daniel is exceptionally good at them. David is the only one with good luck when it comes to randomly selecting those rubber ducks in a kiddie pool, and all of them are awful at throwing balls into a moving hoop. Jasper almost forgets that there's more to the festival than rigged carnival games, but the shining gleam of light reflecting off ice catches his attention.

In a change of pace, Jasper is the one dragging David and Daniel over to the sculptures, admiring the hard work of everyone there as they chip away carefully at the ice. Tools float as busy hands carefully carve away at blocks of ice, alternating between using magic to shave away larger bits of ice, to carefully levitating another to reach the higher parts of the sculpture, the finer details being worked on with keen precision.

Jasper doesn't take any pictures.

Instead he stands by, eyes wide with awe as he drinks in the passions of others in the brisk cold. A fond sigh sounds from behind him, but when he turns, both David and Daniel glance away with matching smiles, keeping a secret held between the two of them. Jasper shrugs, letting them keep their secret as long as they don't tease him for being enthralled by ice.

He almost forgets about the ice rink until David squeals at the sight of it. The ginger drags them over only for Daniel to discover that neither David nor Jasper know how to ice skate. Daniel acts as though teaching the pair is a big pain in the ass, but hiding behind his sarcasm and huffing lies the fondness he carries in his hands, gently holding them tightly as he guides them through the process.

It's hard at first, with one person trying to balance teaching two newbies how to stay standing on the ice without falling on their ass, but Daniel makes it work. Jasper catches on faster than David, and Daniel lets him go free to practice on his own while he helps David figure out how to stand on the skates themselves. Jasper skates about, watching the pair as David slips again, only to have Daniel catch him and hold him steady. Their eyes meet, and the moment halts for a second as they both laugh softly, Daniel brushing David's bangs back out of his eyes before helping him straighten up.

Tender.

Intimate.

Jasper wonders if he had any right to have witnessed that moment between them.

He shakes the thought loose and focuses on mastering the art of ice skating.

Except.

He's still kind of new to this, and he fucks up. With a yelp, he feels himself falling backwards, only to land against something warm and solid. He looks up and sees Daniel's smug grin looking down at him.

"Good thing I was here to catch you."

"Oh, shut up." Jasper reaches up to flick Daniel's forehead, laughing as the blonde tries to nip at his fingers for the action. "Where's David?"

"Clinging to the wall, so straighten up already. I can't catch you both."

"Not with that kind of attitude." Daniel looks at him amused as Jasper blows a raspberry in his face. He presses back against Daniel to regain his balance and lets a harrumph of triumph when he does so. Daniel lets go of Jasper as he watches the brunette balance on his skates. "Okay, I think I'm-" A rogue skater attempts to speed by and knocks into Jasper roughly. The man yelps, already preparing himself for the inevitable fall when Daniel sweeps forward and catches him again.

Daniel's arms wrap around him as he holds Jasper close. With his face buried in Daniel's chest, he stops breathing for a second, heart pounding in his ears as he hears Daniel growl angrily above him.

"Fucking idiot- who does he think he is, acting as if this is a free-for-all when there's clearly people still learning how to skate out here?"

"Are you guys okay?!" David skates to them, shakier than a newborn deer and holding himself steady with a hand on each of their shoulders.

"I'm fine, but that bastard knocked Jasper right off his feet. Are you alright?" They both direct their attention to him and Jasper quickly pushes himself away from Daniel's chest, hoping they won't identify the blood rushing to his face as a blush.

"Uh, yeah! Totally cool, dudes."

"Well, as much fun as it was to teach you both how to skate, I'm growing tired of this rink and would rather enjoy something else." Daniel takes their hands and skates them all off the rink. Once they trade their skates back in for their boots, the three of them meander about the festival, taking in the sights of the winter themed decorations before coming across a display of lights adorning an arch. Jasper takes a look at Daniel, a bitter look still on Daniel's face as he kept a protective grip on Jasper during their meandering. Humming, he pulls out his camera and grins.

"We haven't had a picture with all three of us, right?"

"Oh, no, we haven't." David lets out a happy gasp as he realizes what Jasper means. "Oh! We should take our picture in front of the arch!"

"Exacto-mundo, my guy. What do you think, Daniel?" They both look to Daniel, their smiles enough to ease a small one out of the blonde.

"...Only if you let me take off these ridiculous ears for it."

"Aw, but Danny, you look cute in them!" Jasper tries to tease the blonde, but Daniel won't have any of it. Instead, he wraps an arm around Jasper's waist and pulls him in close, growling into his ear as he does so.

"Only if you wear the cape as well."

Oh shit.

"Yeah, Jasp, wear the cape!" David looks to Jasper with a vengeful sort of glee, and aw fuck, he's going to get screwed at this rate.

"No." He points a finger at David, and then at Daniel. "Absolutely not I refuse to wear the cape. Fine, you can take the ears off, spoilsport."

"Oh I'm the spoilsport?" Daniel releases Jasper as David laughs, taking the ears off with relish. "I will get you to wear that cape, and then it will be you caught in an embarrassing photo for once."

"Good luck, I'm buried beneath seven layers of clothing." A confused look crosses Daniel's face as David snorts.

"Seven-? What-"

"Nevermind him, picture time!"

"No, but-"

"Smile for the cringe compilation!"

Somehow, all three of them manage to smile in time for Jasper to snap the picture, an easy feat for David and Jasper, but a surprisingly difficult one for Daniel.

The film develops with three sets of eyes watching it. When the picture shines through, Jasper hums with a pride he hasn't felt in a while.

Despite the angle being slightly off and the arch barely in the picture, he thinks it's his best shot to date.

"Perfect, right guys?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah." The three of them look at each other and grin.

It's perfect.

If there were ever a moment Jasper would want to freeze for just a second longer, it would be this one. But the sounds of a band catch Daniel's attention, and he grins wider as he takes their hands, pulling them in the direction of the sound.

"Why don't we get a little bit of dancing into the mix, hm?"

The open space for the band and festival goers is surprisingly bustling as people dance and sway to the music, tables planted around the sides for the people who wanted to eat and listen rather than dance. Daniel offers to sit down first, waving David and Jasper off as he watches the table and their things.

A slow song plays, and Jasper finds himself being pulled close to David as they sway to the music. He hesitates, hands hovering over David's waist before David's hand gently takes his and plants it firmly on his waist, smiling gently as they continue to dance to the music. For a while, neither of them spoke. David rests his head against Jasper's shoulder like it's the most natural thing to do as Jasper tightens his hold on David.

"...Hey, Jasp?"

"Hm?"

"I'm... really happy we stayed friends for this long."

"...Yeah. Same." He feels David squeeze him tightly.

"...Can we stay like this?" A pause. "I don't want this to end." A strange desperation catches in his voice, but Jasper is already prepared to soothe it away.

"Of course." He rests his cheek against David's head, sighing softly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

They remain quiet for a moment longer, and Jasper closes his eyes, in sync to David's movements as the song continues. He just wants to hold David like this a little longer, before the night ends and he has to wake up to reality.

"...Jasp."

"Mhm?"

"I... You know that, you mean a lot to me, right?" David speaks it carefully, a vulnerable edge to his words that Jasper doesn't expect.

But he returns it just as softly, his lips grazing against David's ear as he mumbles, "Yeah, I do. You mean a lot to me too." He pauses, and decides to take his shot. "...More than you realize."

"I mean." David's fingers dig into his coat, deep enough that he can feel it through the layers of thick clothing David picked out to keep him warm. "You're so important to me. Without you I… I'd probably be still alone and- you were the only one who stuck by me."

"Mmm." He fights the urge to kiss his temple. "People didn't get you back then, that's all."

"Yeah but, it was just you. You were the only one who got me." David stresses his words with an importance that Jasper doesn't understand yet. "You wanted to be my friend for some reason and… no matter what I said or did you, you just. Took it in stride and. You held my hand. And smiled and told me it'd all be okay, that you believed in me and. You were the only one to do that, Jasp." He pulls away to look Jasper deep in his eyes, searching for something that Jasper doesn't know what to give.

And Jasper isn't sure of what to say. Of course he was there for David - why wouldn't he be? They shared a bond that was unique wholly to them. Jasper knows what makes David smile, what makes him laugh, what his fears are, why he is the way he is, and who the man is under all that unrelenting optimism he hides behind.

Instead, he chooses to cup David's cheek, smiling when his best friend leans into his touch.

"Even when you were a brat, you were a good kid." David laughs, like he expects. "And it's not like you weren't there for me. I'm pretty sure you were the one who visited me every time I got sick. And I got sick a lot."

"Yeah…" David's smile disappears when he focuses on Jasper again. His hand reaches out and feels Jasper's cheek. "I'm sorry you got magithermia again. What brought it back?"

Jasper shrugs, leaning into his hand before closing his eyes. "Stress. Some other bullshit. It's not too important though, Gwen's helping me through it."

"Mmm. I think it's pretty important though. I hate it when you get sick like this." David's thumb strokes just beneath Jasper's eye. In turn, Jasper buries his face closer into David's palm. "You know you can rely on me, right?"

"Heh. Always." He opens his eyes to see the corners of David's eyes crinkle up with his smile. His favorite kind of smile. Jasper would do anything if it meant David could keep smiling like that.

"Heh." David pulls his hand away to place it back on Jasper's shoulder. "I think you're off the heezy, Jasp."

Jasper snorts, chuckling as he presses his forehead against David's. "I think you're off the heezy too, Davey."

For a moment, he thinks that the spores are on his side for once, and time slows down without him needing to do anything. David's half-lidded eyes are a shade of green he can always get lost in, like a forest he'll never want to stop exploring. If he could, he would give David the entire world if he asked for it. His eyes wander down to his lips, and he wonders, for a moment, just what does he taste like?

It's tempting, to lean in and have a little taste.

He wants nothing more than to feel how David's lips feel against his. Are they as soft as he imagine? Does he taste sweeter than a mug of cocoa, or does he taste like his favorite tea on a cold day?

He wants to know.

So badly.

All he has to do is lean in and-

"Ahem." They both freeze, Daniel tapping David's shoulder. "Mind if I cut in?"

"Oh, uh," David looks between Daniel and Jasper, before dropping his arms with reluctance, "of course! Be my guest!"

Daniel and David switch places, and Daniel's arm wraps around Jasper's waist. The music changes, and Daniel smirks, already pleased with the faster pace and quicker tempo. Jasper yelps in surprise as he's swept off his feet, Daniel guiding him as they match the music.

"You know," Daniel speaks calmly, even as he spins Jasper out and back into his chest, "I never got to thank you properly for introducing me to David."

"Uh, you're welcome? I guess? Except I didn't do much-"

"Stop selling yourself short." Daniel keeps him on his toes, his smile wide but soft. "Had it not been for you, I would have never gotten to meet you both." He pulls him back up and holds him close.

"Well, you and David did the actual hard work. I was just... along for the ride?"

"Didn't feel like it." Daniel's lips graze against the outer edge of his ear, whispering as he dips Jasper low. "It always felt as though you were just as invested in me as I was in you."

Jasper takes a deep breath, trying to keep his breathing even as Daniel takes his leg and pulls it closer to his body. "I mean- y-yeah, you just seemed like a cool guy. I've never met anyone from the city before."

"Was that all there was to it?"

"David likes you too."

"Was that really it?" He pulls Jasper back up, and Jasper clings tighter to Daniel's shoulders.

"I thought you were nice. And smart, until I, well, knew better."

"I can be intelligent, you ass."

"Sure you can." He smirks as Daniel twirls him out again in disdain, before pulling him in close.

"What made you want to be my friend?"

"I found out you were, and are, a nice guy. You make me laugh." And leaves him breathless. Daniel has eyes that are the palest shade of blue he's ever seen, and he never wants to stop looking at them. He treats Jasper with a certain kind of softness that should feel strange coming from someone who's smirk can hide daggers in them, but there's tenderness in his hands that he only shows to him and David. Daniel treats them to a world that only he and David are privy to, and that. That makes him feel special. "...You're sort of amazing. Cool even. And, you like me too, for some reason."

"Well, you are remarkably handsome." He smirks when he spots Jasper's blush. "But you're also so very sweet, just like David. I can see why you two have been friends for so long."

"He puts up with me."

"I think you're underestimating the effect you have on him. And me." Daniel leans in close, his breath warm against his lips. "You're so very precious to me, I hope you understand that."

"...Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Daniel grins, lips dangerously close to his own. "Because you helped open up my lonely world and became a part of it. And I never want to let you go."

"...Oh." His heart beats hard in his chest, and he wonders why that is.

It's not that he wants to acknowledge it but... Daniel's piercing gaze seems to strike right at his heartstrings, begging Jasper to let Daniel in closer, to brush their foreheads together until the tips of their noses touch when finally-.

...But he wants more than just touch. He wants to know more about Daniel, more than what he could gleam over David's shoulder. Daniel is a tightly wrapped mystery that only David has had the pleasure of opening, and now Jasper wants his turn. For a moment, he wonders if Daniel is willing to be vulnerable to him as he is with David.

They slow their dancing, missing the beat of the music just enough that it snaps Jasper out of his thoughts. Daniel merely smiles before he lifts his gloved hand up to his lips and bites down on the leather, pulling it off as he reaches up to feel beneath Jasper's beanie, a cool hand pressing against his forehead.

"Hm. You're warm." Relief is evident on his face as he pulls it away. The glove is pulled back on as it settles on Jasper's waist. "Good." Daniel smiles, sweet and gentle as he cups Jasper's face for a moment. "You don't know how worried I was for your health."

"...I think I've got an idea of it." He smiles back, and the soft glow in Daniel's eyes is practically enchanting.

"...Can I check on something?"

"Didn't you already check my temperature?" Jasper grins cheekily when Daniel responds with a throaty chuckle.

"I want to make sure the gloves are working correctly. May I see your hand?"

"Sure." He pulls his hand off Daniel's shoulder and presents it to him. Their dancing practically comes to a halt as Daniel focuses more of his attention on Jasper and less so of the people around them. The blonde takes his hand, his fingers rubbing the outside of the glove contemplatively.

And then he brings Jasper's hand up to his lips, lips grazing where the edge of the glove meets Jasper's wrist.

"...May I?" Jasper feels wholly unprepared as he nods.

"Um, sure." Without missing a beat, teeth graze his skin as Daniel slowly pulls the glove off. Jasper's breathing stutters to a stop as he watches his glove hang from Daniel's lips. Daniel's fingers slip between his as he pulls Jasper's hand up to his face, pressing it against his cheek and leaning into it.

"...Warm. Good." Daniel's lips press against his palm as he smiles. "Looks like the gloves are working well."

Jasper swallows hard, mind swimming as he cups Daniel's face.

Daniel releases his hand and pulls the enchanted glove back on for Jasper. He guides it back onto his shoulder and resumes dancing with the tempo of the song. Jasper wants to hide his face, but with Daniel staring deep into his eyes like this, there's really nothing he wants to do but let the man lead him to wherever it is he wants to take Jasper.

A finger taps his shoulder and breaks him out of his daze.

"Um, may I?" David looks almost bashful as he tries to cut in.

"Oh. Sure." Jasper steps back reluctantly, letting David take his place as he heads to their table. The bear that he won with David takes up an entire seat and vaguely he wonders if Mr. Pinecone will like the bear, or if he'll see it as competition. His eyes wander over to David and Daniel as they dance, his wonderings now switching to trying to read their lips as they speak to each other.

Daniel says something that makes David laugh and blush, fingers reaching up to gently caress his cheek as Daniel keeps an arm firmly around his waist, like he did with Jasper. There's a difference to how they both approach each other than when they danced with him.

Less restrained.

More forward.

And more open.

They seem to focus only on each other, and he can see in how David's shoulders slump in content that he's at his most relaxed.

Daniel slowly dips David, his lips close to David's for a moment, just to tease, before pulling away with a grin as David pouts.

Then they switch, with David taking the lead instead and moving to sweep the blonde off his feet. This time Daniel is the one being dipped, and Jasper watches as David smirks, just a bit, before planting his lips on Daniel's.

And then he looks away.

Right.

Of course.

He forgot.

The twisting comes back. And the air grows cold around him. Although, it's probably just him.

It's mostly just him.

His fingers tremble as his breathing grows shaky. Careful, he needs to take deep breaths, remember what Gwen said, and calm the fuck down.

He grows cold, but not enough to freeze. His fingers twitch, but the tremble is gone. He doesn't need the vial yet.

He can last a little bit longer.

He swallows hard and makes a weak cough.

It's almost over. He just.

He just needs to hear them say it.

As if on cue, the two make their way back to Jasper, and he forces a smile back onto his face.

"Have fun?"

"A whole bunch!" David is breathless as he takes his seat across from Jasper, Daniel seated next to him. "Right, Daniel?"

"Mhmm." He practically purrs out his agreement. Their fingers brush together, and he realizes that they're refraining.

Because of him.

But he needs them to confirm it.

Isn't that why they dragged him out here in the first place?

Give him a good time before dropping the bomb on him.

"You two looked like real lovebirds out there." He adopts a joking tone to goad them on, and, judging by the blush on David's face at least, it works.

And then he sees the realization, and the smile on his face becomes nervous.

"Actually, um." Here it comes. "We have something we'd... like to tell you." David and Daniel exchange a look, and Jasper braces himself.

"What is it?"

"We're... well, we, um..."

"We've decided that... we'd like to date." Daniel takes David's hand and squeezes. "David and I. And, we wanted you to be the first to know."

There it is.

His chest squeezes, and the twisting threatens to claw and rip its way up his throat and into the open. But he refuses.

Not yet, at least.

Not in front of them.

So he grins.

And says.

"I'm so happy for you two!"

A look of confusion crosses both their faces, as if they weren't expecting Jasper to be so supportive, which is strange.

Don't they know by now?

He'd do anything for them.

Even if it means living painfully in silence. Ignorance is bliss, so they say.

David is the one to smile back first, followed by Daniel, whose smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, and for a moment, Jasper is questioning why.

But the twisting returns, biting at his insides as he struggles to keep his emotions under control.

Which is difficult, when what he wants to do first is cry.

Of course he never had a chance.

He's always known this.

But he can't let them know.

They deserve to be happy.

He swallows down his tears for the time being and enjoys a dinner with his two good friends.

And rides the train back with his two best friends.

And says goodbye to his two wonderful friends.

Just so that when he gets to his bathroom, gripping his sink tightly as he coughs and sobs, gasping through his pain, he can remember that.

He's doing it for them.

So he coughs.

Waits for the flower petals to come up to confirm that his love is one-sided.

Waits for the pain to begin clawing its way up his throat and out his mouth to violently continue destroying him. The book beneath the mug - he's been studying it, as Clementine had suggested.

He thinks maybe, his first flower will be of a pink camellia, or maybe even a gardenia.

Even with all his reading, he still doesn't know what to expect. All he knows is that he is freezing in his bathroom all alone, and the twisting, clawing feeling inside his chest won't go away as it squeezes his heart, making him choke out his cries as he wheezes for release.

All he needs to do is force the first bloom out from his lungs, and then he'll know. He slams a fist against his chest, coughing as he does so.

And he coughs.

And coughs.

And coughs.

But, to his exceptional, unbridled horror.

Nothing comes out.