This is a one-shot and I hope to write some more Upstead one-shots - Hope you enjoy x ps. a WIP is in progress over on AO3
Sometimes it's impossible to sleep even if everything went fine in the unit the day before and sometimes lying in bed counting down the hours feels impossible too.
It's 2 am and Hailey's moved the chair over by the window, hugging a mug of coffee close to her and staring outside.
The night sky's always been special for her. Sitting there as a child on the days when everything was how it should be, her father pointing out the stars to her to laying down in her boyfriend's yard staring up and pointing out the stars to him.
It's too well lit outside for Hailey to make out individual stars tonight but it brings back memories, good ones and she wouldn't trade them in for anything.
"You know where was beautiful for the night sky?"
Hailey turns around in the chair at Jay's voice, he looks sleepy and he's wearing a t-shirt as it's the middle of winter.
He's holding a blanket which he hands to her before he continues, his gaze distant.
"Afghanistan, it was so beautiful you know. It was such a contradiction I could never really wrap my head around because sometimes night time could be the worst, some of the worst things I've seen in my life were at night, things like you wouldn't believe how bad and yet ten minutes before you could have been waiting for the go signal and you'd just happen to glance up and you could see the milky way."
His expression softens, a half-smile on his face."Sometimes we'd have longer to wait and we'd tell each other ridiculously far-fetched stories, with just the stars and the night sky for company and we'd almost forget we were in the middle of a warzone until the next moment when a missile or a bomb would light up the sky and fill it with smoke and then the milky way, well it never felt quite as far away as it did at that moment."
"Almost as far as you feel right now, Jay," observes Hailey quietly and when he shows no sign of hearing she raises her voice slightly, "Jay?"
"Hmmm?" He responds, not quite able to pull his gaze away from outside.
Hailey gets off the chair, placing the blanket on the arm of it then putting the coffee down on the table as she rounds the chair and reaches out for Jay's hand, her fingertips brushing against his lightly and it's enough to get him to look, to pull him out of his thoughts even if it's just for a moment.
She takes hold of his hand then, gently pulls him nearer and they walk the few steps together till they're stood in front of the chair by the window and she lets go for a few seconds, adjusting the angle of the chair slightly.
"Sit," she instructs Jay.
Hailey watches as he lets go of her hand and does just that then she grins as he reaches out and gently pulls her onto the chair too, it's a tight squeeze but they manage it, Hailey stretches her legs out and her feet just about manage to reach the window sill to rest there then she leans her head against Jay's shoulder.
She shivers despite herself, it is the middle of winter after all and immediately feels Jay shift slightly and then he's placing the blanket over them both before he pulls her in nearer, his arm around her, fingertips drawing tiny patterns on her arm as he does and then he stretches his legs out too, his feet next to hers on the sill.
"How's that?"
"Much better," Hailey turns her head slightly to look up at Jay and smiles, "back with me now?"
Jay's hesitation tells a lot more than words can.
"Yeah," then with more certainty he repeats it.
Under the blanket, Hailey reaches for Jay's other hand, her fingers interlocking with his.
They sit in silence for a while, just staring outside, at the night sky, Jay's breathing and the faint sounds of Chicago at night beyond the window all she hears. Soothing, familiar.
From outside, there's a faint sound of music too, too faint to hear what it is properly but there nevertheless.
"We used to have music on base sometimes but it felt out of place, you know I never imagined how simple a pleasure it'd be till I got back. Like when I hear it now, it's just I appreciate it so much, it's almost sublime, just the sound of music is sublime, which is crazy, right?"
"I think...it's the least crazy thing I've heard."
They sit quietly some more till a street light fades out as though the bulb's gone and the night sky gets a tiny fraction clearer.
"So, do you know your Mars from your Jupiter, Detective?" she asks, mock seriousness on her face but the smile playing at the corner of her lips belying the attempt completely.
He looks serious, quizzical, almost confused.
"Well, not so much I definitely know where Uranus is,"
Hailey tries so hard to be mock offended, she tries so hard to be anything other than delighted by his shift in mood, by the stupid smug and far too pleased with his response expression on his face and as she pulls her hand from his and pulls it from under the blanket, shifting slightly and lightly slapping at his chest, she fails.
"Oh aren't you the king of funny town."
He laughs and to Hailey, it's definitely one of the most sublime sounds she can ever hear then he stops.
"Hey Upton, thanks for hearing me, letting me speak but not pressuring me for more and I know the whole thing is nonsense but seeing it's the 14th now then happy valentine's day anyway, I'm so glad you're here," then as she turns her head, looks up towards him again he adds, "with me.."
As if it really requires clarification and as if she needs to respond but she does anyway.
"Same Jay, really, same," she replies.
The kiss is light, tender before Hailey looks back out the window once more as Jay reaches for her hand, lifts it up to his lips and presses a kiss against her fingertips before they intertwine together once more.
And Jay exhales, it's funny how Hailey's grown to know the difference in his mood depending on the way he exhales, the way he sighs because she knows this one, it's borne of relief, release and she smiles as they both look out of the window, their legs intertwined just like their fingers as they watch the night sky start to lighten gradually.
Hailey hears Jay's breathing, calm, peaceful and realizes that's the best, the most sublime sound of them all.