Lin Beifong liked to believe that she didn't have an iota of motherly instinct in her.
She never liked the idea of motherhood. Or rather, she never thought twice about having kids. Lin was too focused on her job as a police officer - soon to be Chief - to think of anything else.
So when she realized that she was pregnant after a very dismissive one night stand, the woman felt her fingers freeze. It was after destroying every single breakable thing in her apartment did she calm down.
She didn't want it. She had no time for it. How does one take care of a tiny human? She couldn't even take care of herself.
Tears of frustration prickled the corner of her eyes as Lin realized that she was all alone in this. Her mother had disappeared off the grid after retiring. Her sister was out of the question. She couldn't bring herself to think about Tenzin. Spirits knew how much it killed her to think about him and Pema together. Bumi had a life of his own.
The only ones left were Kya and her mother.
Lin gave herself three months. She worked tirelessly, taking on overtime, and exerting herself to the point of exhaustion. When she collapsed during a case and got admitted into a hospital, a part of her prayed that the thing in her hadn't survived. But the doctor just reprimanded her for not taking it easy and declared with immense relief that the baby - thing - was safe.
"It seems the child is a fighter."
The very next day, Lin Beifong packed her bags and left for the Southern Water Tribe, stating an indefinite leave.
Katara had taken her in without any questions about the thing's father. Kya had quietly clasped Lin's hand as the latter explained that she felt nothing for it.
"Maternal instincts, my ass."
Gently, but firmly, Katara laid out the options before the woman.
"I do not think you feel nothing for the child, Lin. If you had then you wouldn't be here. However, if you do not want the child, you may hand them over to an orphanage. You may leave them in my care, even. And if you so wish, you may terminate -"
"No." Lin felt her grasp on Kya's hand tighten, "No."
"Whatever you decide, Lin," Kya smiled at her, "I'm here."
Weeks down the line, Lin sent a letter to it's birth father. She refused any proposals of marriage to him, stating very clearly that it was his wish whether he wanted to be in it's life or not. Placing her indecisiveness in front of him, she wrote about how she didn't even want to name it.
It wouldn't be until years later that Lin would accept that she wrote that letter because she didn't want it to grow up without a father, like she did.
He never responded.
"Men are garbage," Lin had hissed, tearing up another draft that she had penned down to that man.
Kya leaned against the wall of Lin's temporary residence, "You can say that again."
It kept Lin up through the night due to very subtle twitches. It annoyed the woman to no extent. Every time she ate something spicy, the thing in her womb would twitch. Very close to tearing her hair from her skull, she approached Katara.
"She is hiccuping." The water-bending master had grinned ear to ear, after placing a palm on Lin's growing stomach.
She.
It was a she.
In a daze, Lin's mind travelled kilometers. A girl? A bender? A non-bender? Earth? Fire? Whose eyes will she have? Whose nose? How tall would she grow up to be? Will she take after her sister? Her mother? Her paternal family?
She was shaken out of her thoughts by the music that was Kya's laughter. Throwing a glare at the woman over her shoulder, Lin strut back to her room and didn't come out for hours. The policewoman lay in her bed, staring at the wall, thinking how quickly it became she for her. Her hand hovered over her swollen belly. It twitched again. Lin gritted her teeth.
"For fuck's sake."
The closer her due date got, the more Lin had begun to panic. It didn't show on her face, but she became more irritable, snapping at everyone in sight. She got into arguments with Kya for the silliest reasons and would storm off, only for the waterbender to approach her at the end of the day with tea.
Katara could only shake her head, with bouts of nostalgia. Wasn't it time for a new Avatar to be born? Could it be-?
Lin had thrown all sorts of swear words at the world during her labor. She tried her utmost to focus on Kya's voice but the pain was making her lose her senses. After what felt like hours, Katara held a small bundle as her daughter pushed back the dark hair plastered on Lin's forehead, whispering gentle words of encouragement.
"Would you like to hold her, Lin?" Katara offered, "How strange that she is so quiet, given who her grandmother is."
The earthbender was very reluctant. She froze for a second before holding the thing - her daughter. The hammering of her heart had not subsided. Her gaze was stuck on the little human in her arms. Eyes scrunched close. Pink. A tuft of dark, dark hair.
She slowly lifted her head to look at the two women.
"She's ugly."
A snort. And then Kya was bent over in a corner, clutching her stomach and laughing. Even Katara's shoulders quivered as she chuckled.
The bundle in Lin's arms moved and the infant yawned.
"She doesn't have teeth."
"Don't talk as if you've never seen babies, Lin." Kya rolled her eyes, sitting next to her.
She was exhausted. Nervous. With bated breath, Lin waited for the baby to open her eyes. Another yawn. The baby blinked and looked up at her and woman felt her throat choke up.
Golden eyes. Beautiful.
Kya aww'ed at the cooing gurgling noises that the baby had begun to make.
Lin lifted her finger experimentally, trying to prod at the tightly clenched tiny, tiny fist. What a small human being. Suddenly, Lin felt tears run down her face as she felt the baby reach for her finger with a soft noise.
"Zhu Beifong."
Katara and Kya looked at her, the former with a knowing smile on her face.
The corner of Lin Beifong's mouth twitched upwards tenderly, "Zhu Beifong sounds like a good name."
Hello, old readers! Long time no see *awkward laughter*. Hello, new readers! I hope I don't mess this up.
I am completely rewriting the story. From the scratch. So I'll be deleting everything. My writing's changed over the years and the original story made me cringe so bad. I don't know how often I shall update but I shall try my best to get the story rolling. I have a lot of ideas for this one.
I apologize for being a trash person and never updating any of the other stories I've written so far. Maybe...some day...in the future...I might finish them?
Let me know what you think of the beginning :)