Chapter 3: why is it called the emer-ohhh

Part 1

Ok. Finally we actually get to some action here. Fun fact: the title was actually my initial reaction to the name of this episode.

Sun: Laaaaame!

Me: gah! What are you doing here?! You aren't supposed to show up for a while.

Sun: never mind that! Time for some action. Look, I'll even do the disclaimer for you. Posidon29 does not own RWBY, he does own Damien. Now on with the show.

When I wake up the sun blinds be, forcing me to blink for a few minutes. When I come too, I notice a lack of nekos near buy and find a note lying on the ground beside me. It reads:

Damien,

If you tell anyone, ANYONE, about what happened here I will cut your head off with a rusty knife and mount it on a pole in the front of the school.

Love,

Blake

Well that's one way to start the day.

As I went down through the ballroom to go and get breakfast, I ran into a super hyper girl and her sluggish friend. "Ooooo! Look Ren! A new friend! Want to join us for pancakes new friend?!" I was bombarded with questions that left my head spinning. I looked at the other guy who motioned for me to play along. So I just nodded. "Ya! A new guy! You're going to follow us around! And go on adventures together! And destroy Grimm. We'll be one big team! Yay!" I could already tell that this was going to be a long morning. I handed the guy a coffin and we began to chug, following the energetic red head.

-X-

I had finally managed to get away from them in the locker room. Nora talked the entire time! I have to hand it to Ren, I'm amazed that he isn't insane. Unless he actually is? I thought about all this while I arrived at my locker. As I got out my weapon, I hear a voice to my left say, "I don't need people to help me grow up. I drink milk." I roll my eyes and walk over.

"Really Ruby? I said as the girl squeaked and moved closer to her sister. After noticing that it was me she relaxed a little.

"Well, um. I do drink milk and it helps you grow, so..." I just laughed as she awkwardly.

"So," Yang starts, "who do you want as a partner?" I stopped and began thinking about it. You see, I never actually considered who I wanted. Before I could answer there was a thud and a short Yelp from the other side of the room and Goodwitch's voice came on announcing the start of initiation. We stopped to help Juane before going out to the cliff.

We go and carry to his spot. I could not see Blake at all. Also, my spot was round, compared to everyone else's which were square. "For years, you have trained to become warriors, and today your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald Forest." Why was he looking at me the whole time he was saying that?

Now, I'm sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of teams," Glynda started. "Well allow us to put an end to your confusion. Each of you will be given teammates… today." Was that dramatic pause really necessary? And I hear Ruby groan to my right. "These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon. So it is in your best interest to be paired with someone with whom you can work well with."

And que the biggest bombshell the student get this volume.

"That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years." I had to cover my ears at Ruby's surprises scream and I didn't uncover them until Ozpin spoke again.

"After you've partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest. You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path, or you will die." Now that I think of it that will probably be me.

"You will be monitored and graded through the duration of your initiation, but our instructors will not intervene. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must choose one and return to the top of the cliff. As there are an odd amount of you one person will have no partners. They may tag along with established partners until they get their relic. Any questions?" I stopped Juane before he could be ignored and explained to him that we would not be let down. That we were not receiving parachutes. And yes, we need a landing strategy. I was rewarded for all that by the enjoyable sight of watching him get flung by the platform and flail around like a fish. Good times.

My platform hadn't gone yet. "Sir? Why haven't I been launched?" I asked.

Ozpin chuckled before replying. "Because of your unique history, we decided you would be the perfect test subject for a new launching method." And with that I was placed in a tube and shot out cannon before I could say 'son of a bitch.' All the while Ozpin drank from his coffee mug and smiled.

-X-

The air was rushing past. The view was breathtaking. The trees were beautiful. And the only thing I could think of was AHHHH! After my moment of panic I began to think of a landing strategy. 'Ok. So the forest is below me. I don't really have anything going for me to land except for my teleportation. So all I need to do is think of a place and,' CRASH! I had somehow landed earlier than intended, and so I ended up doing the equivalent of doing a belly flop from thousands of feet in the air… onto rocks. The crater I made was a few feet deep and by the time I got out some Beowolves surrounded me. Oh joy. I pull out my weapon, nightfall, and point it at the Alpha. "Here boy, fetch." And I pulled the trigger, putting a hole in its chest.

The others were still there, though. So started firing at the rest. With s few squeezes of the trigger all but one was dead. I smiled, knowing that I had this in the bag. Until I heard a click. "What!? How am I out of ammo already?" It swiped at me and I flew back into some trees.

When I get up it's bearing down on me so I raise my sword to block its claws. The screech of bone on metal resonates through the area. And with that I teleport behind it and stab it in its spine, killing it instantly.
After the bodies fade away I walk in the general direction of the temple before I notice a crawling feeling on my shoulder. I look down and see a tiny gray spider about the size of a paper clip.

"AHHH!" I take off running in a random direction shaking my shoulders to get it off. I keep running until I crash into something soft and… smelling like lilacs? "Oomph! Well Damien, I can't say I mind this but take me to dinner first at least ok?" I look up to see two eyes peering at me. I finally realize where I landed
"oh my god! I'm so sorry Yang!" I yelled, trying to untangle myself from her mammaries. When I finally got up I turned and noticed the only other person there trying to stifle her laughter. And failing. "Oh just shut up before I tell her about last night." I immediately regretted that comment as her eyes narrowed and she reaches for her weapon.

Thank goodness Yang was there. "Last night? What happened last night?"she asked, butting in and stopping Blake from murdering me.

"It's nothing," I explain, "now can we head to the ruins? You can't possibly bug us and fight monsters at the same time." But you should never underestimate Yang's ability to annoy a person.

"I can multitask." Could Blake just kill me?

Sun: Sucks to be him. I always bring friends with me, isn't that right Neptune?

Neptune: Sup.

Me: How did you get up there? You know what, I don't care anymore. Follow, fav, and review please. I need feedback. Do it or i'll kill Neptune!

Neptune: You wouldn't really do that would you?

Me: I guess you'll just have to wait until next time to find out.

Arrivederci