Chapter 6: the most horrible thing in the world

P29: I'm back! Hello there and welcome to another chapter of RWBY: Dragon Son. Now before we begin, Damien has a few words he wants to say.

Damien: Fine! For all you ladies reading this, please be aware that not all men act this way. So feel free to laugh at me. Guys, this might seem like torture to some of you, but feel free to laugh at me anyway. You know, I really hate you.

P29: I know. I don't own RWBY or anything referenced in this story. I only own Damien.

The shining sun lights up my face and I wake up to birds singing. Today is going to be perfect. Why, you ask? For the first time since the beginning of the school year I have a weekend without homework, without extra assignments, with nothing important to do! So I planned on staying in my room and playing games. Imagine my surprise, then, when I looked around and saw the whole of team RWBY staring at me.

"Ahhh!" I shout while ducking under the covers. After a little bit I poke my head out. "How did you guys get in my room? And more importantly how long have you been watching me sleep?" I ask. "We just got in with our scrolls, and um, a little bit?" Yang said. "Well leave!" I shout grumpily. I'm not the best person when I'm tired.

"But you asked us to go shopping with you this weekend because you didn't have much stuff after your move from atlas." Weiss said while glaring at me. (Ozpin helped to create a passport that said I came here from atlas to cover up my newness.) "Well that's weird, I never asked you to do that. Oh well, now leave so I can sleep." "Nope. We cleared our schedules just for you so you're going." Yang said while pulling on my leg. Did I ever mention how strong she is?

"Ow! Ok, I'll go, just let me get dressed first." I limped to the bathroom after Yang released me and quickly threw on a beacon shirt and followed the girls to the air ship. So maybe this day isn't going to be perfect.

-X-

"Really, out of all the places you could have taken me, you bring me here?!" we are currently standing outside the Vytal mall, one of the largest malls in Remnant. Did I mention I hate malls? "Oh come on, you'll love it! They have something for everyone, even Blake!" the Faunus' ears twitched at the comment. "Now, Ruby and Blake go look at shops, me and Weiss will go find some cloths for him." Ruby salutes her sister before running off, Blake just rolls her eyes and walk in a random direction. I try to sneak off but am hooked by Weiss and Yang and dragged to a nearby store.

After hours of looking for cloths Weiss and Yang both hand me white and yellow clothes, respectively, and head to the changing room. After trying them on, and vetoing them, I head back to the girls. But when I get there me security guard I talking to them and showing a picture of me! When he sees me he runs toward me and I take off. After a few twists and turns I lose him, but decide to hide in a nearby shop, just in case.

When I get inside I immediately notice that it is a book store. Remembering from the map that there is only one book store in the entire mall, I look around for Blake. And I soon find her, in a section reserved for more… adult literature. She turns to look at me and immediately blushes red. I back up stammering excuses and bump into a bookshelf. I then leans back and the entire row of shelves fall down. That shouldn't happen, right? The store owner comes out of the back and stares us before throwing us out. "You're banned for life, you got that!" he shouted before slamming the door. "Well, um, that was a thing. Right Blake, Blake?" I look at my feline companion and see her eye twitch and her hand moving toward her weapon. So I ran.

Eventually I bump into Ruby. "How could you Damien! You killed Crescent Rose v2.0!" she shouted. "WHAT?" I ask and then she shows me a scythe that looks to be a semi-automatic. I didn't get a very good look at it because she starts swinging it at me. What is with these girls and murdering me today? Eventually I lose her and head to the fountain on the first floor.

As I go to take a seat and catch my breath I see Yang running at me. "You bastard! How could you cut my hair!" she shouted with Weiss running behind, yelling something about calming down. As Yang went to punch me I teleported a few floors up, now totally exhausted. I look around and see a sweets shop, and a tired Ren panting outside. "Ren! You need to help me! Team RWBY has gone crazy! They want to kill me, you have to help!" I said while shaking him. "Hehehe. I already know. Who do you think sent them the message to go shopping? Or spray painted that wall? Who do you think loosened the screws in the bookshop, and set up your picture on the security cameras?" "Ren." I say calmly while backing away. "Who do you think broke Ruby's new scythe, or cut Yang's hair?" he continued. "It was me! It was all me!" "But why?" I ask, desperate to know why one of the calmest characters of the show want to get me killed. "Revenge for what happened last week!" he shouted at me.

Last week, hm?

/Flashback\\\\\

"Hey Jaune, I need you to actually do some of this proje-"I came into the JNPR dorm room looking Jaune, but instead find Ren! Normally this wouldn't be anything weird, but he was dancing on his bed to what seemed to be Japanese pop music and singing into Nora's hair brush. All of which stop when I open the door. We stare at each other, before I silently walk back out and close the door.

/Flashback over\\\\\

"Oh, well done Ren, but you have awoken a monster. I will not stand for this! Now you will fear my wrath!" I say overdramatically while waving my arms. He just smiles as Yang walks up behind me and sucker punches me through the roof. "I'm quaking in my boots." Ren says before cracking up.

Ladies and gentlemen, never anger Lie Ren.

P29: and that's a wrap. Thanks Ren for helping me come up with that prank.

Ren: Anytime.

P29: well, please follow, fav, and review. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Arrivederci