And now we continue the story! Well actually, we have another one-shot type of chapter. But before I explain that, comments on reviews!

ultimateCCC: *looks up what that means. pales* Um… Halo! We need to talk!

juancastri111: Once again, CONGRATS TO YOUR COUSIN! Hope you are having fun in Rio and are enjoying the Olympics. (It's not the same on the TV)

Zosonils: I'm glad you like the pairings. I'm actually more of a Knuxouge kind of person, but I do agree. Sonia and he have a lot in common. And Manic getting beaten up is pretty funny. And I understand that it can be hard to find something to say. Because, 'This is really good' every single review, isn't a review. I appreciate the really specific reviews (even when they aren't always positive). Glad you are enjoying it! And we'll keep going.

Okay, so this chapter is a sort of headcannon of Halo and I. What is it? Well… Sonic can't cook.

I know what you're thinking… 'Well he doesn't cook in the games… or at least he doesn't on screen. He just buys chili dogs.' Well I'm sorry, but spaghetti was ruined for me when my Mother was not feeling well for a long time and she made the three exact meals for dinner every night. Sonic could not keep eating chili dogs for his whole life for every meal and NOT throw up or get sick of them.

Action!

Sonic's POV:

You know you should avoid the kitchen when you burn cereal. If you think I'm kidding, then you should have seen the day I froze boiling water.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

See, Tails had this rule in the house: 'Sonic is not allowed in the kitchen, under any fathomable circumstances.'

Now that just seems paranoid. I don't blow up something when I grab a snack...most of the time. Okay, so maybe the microwave hates me. That's not my fault! But apparently I can't be trusted with the microwave, oven, stovetop, pots, pans, blender or even the fridge.

But not today! Today I was going to heat up a bowl of soup without causing a disaster.

Or at least I hoped.

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

"Hey Tails! Can you come here and help me out for a second! And bring your fire extinguisher!"

For as long as I can remember, I have never been able to grasp the concept of preparing food in the kitchen. I love food, I just can't make it myself.

"The floor is melting! Tails, hurry!"

The sound of my brother opening the back door and calling in, "What happened this time?"

"I was heating up some canned soup and it spilled. It smells like old eggs and it's turning yellow!"

"What?! Don't touch anything, I'll be right there!"

"But I can-"

"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

Tails opened the door and stared, the horror on his face evident. "What kind of soup was it?"

"I don't know! It was green and lumpy. Broccoli-cheese maybe?"

"We don't have broccoli-cheese!"

"Well then, maybe it was chicken noodle or something. I don't know!"

You ever see those spy shows where the guy uses household cleaners and a stick of gum to make an explosion? I once used dry milk, a broken toaster and a badly placed electric fan to do the exact same thing, and didn't have to rely on any cheap special effects.

"What were you thinking? This stuff is literally eating though the sink!"

"I was hungry and you were busy."

"This glop makes you hungry?"

"Compared to the salad Amy made me have for lunch, yes."

"SALADS DON'T EMIT POISONOUS FUMES!"

We've tried a few things to help. We even paid for cooking lessons to see if that would help. The first day we tried to make baked Alaska. Four people were rushed to the emergency room from that fire.

"Help me clean it up before it hardens!"

"I can't! The broom is on fire!"

"Then get the mop—wait, it seems to be draining. It's made a hole in the floor. It's gone, we're saved!"

"No we're not, it's in the ventilation system!"

By now, poison control and the FBI probably have us on some sort of watch-list. We've called them so many times that we have the number on speed dial. We know all the firemen on a first-name basis, and all our neighbor's fences have been fireproofed, courtesy of GUN.

"Quick, get the gasmasks! I keep them right next to the first aid kit."

"Found them. Can I have the green one? The black one makes me look like a creep."

"WE. NEED. TO. EVACUATE!"

Honestly, if it weren't for our all-bases-covered insurance policy from GUN, we'd probably be locked up for arson right now. Funny story, after the first three or four times it happened they were going to revoke our fire insurance, but then the guys from the chemical warfare department convinced the guys in charge to let them have a look at what I did. From what I heard, it vaulted them years forward in their research and they haven't threatened to cut us off since.

"Go get the hose from the backyard! We may still be able to contain it!"

"Okay, one sec…" I zipped into the back and grabbed the hose, running back in the blink of an eye. "Got it!"

"Now aim at the base of the fire. Don't let it spread to the pantry or who knows what could happen."

"Um, Tails? I have some bad news."

"If it's about the leftover macaroni, I already know you ate it."

"No, actually it's a bit more urgent than that. The water is making it bigger!"

"Of course it is…"

"So what now?"

"What else? Time to jump ship and hope the neighbors don't riot."

I suppose I should resent the fact that we have to completely replace our kitchen every other week, but it does have its advantages. For one, we never have to worry about old leftovers. Another thing is we've never owned a knife set long enough for it to get dull. And I suppose when you have a quasi-government shadow agency willing to foot the bill just as long as they can do a chemical analysis afterward, it's not all bad.

Tails pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. "Hello, GUN?... Yep, I got another one for you… Some soup spilled and I think we're going to need a full squad for this one… Okay, see you in fifteen minutes."

Two days later, our kitchen had been restored and GUN had just finished yelling at me for being an idiot- again. Now Tails wanted to chat with me.

Tails heated up two frozen burritos in our brand-new microwave. He pulled out the two steaming plates with no explosions and placed the food in front of me, sitting on the other side of the table.

I just shook my head, "How do you do that?"

Tails smirked, "Hey, I can't cook either, but at least I can work a microwave without starting the apocalypse."

"I really hate you sometimes."

"Love you too, bro."

With a smirk, I pointed at him, "There's my sarcastic brother."

Tails gave a playful punch and then bit into his food. He chewed slowly and swallowed, a smile coming to his face. "Do you remember the first meal we tried to make together?"

"You mean those PB&J's?" I laughed, "I still can't believe the toast caught fire in the toaster."

"And the peanut butter was more oil than anything because you didn't mix the jar."

"Hey, I didn't know that when you bought that specific brand you had to mix the floating oil on the top into the paste below."

The two of us laughed.

"Worst sandwiches I've ever had," Tails mumbled under his breath.

I shook my head, the smile on my face growing, "No, the worst sandwiches you've had were those ham and cheese ones from three years ago."

"You mean the ones where you used stale bread, moldy cheese, and left out the mayo for an hour before?" Tails shuddered. "I couldn't throw up fast enough."

"Oh really?" I took a bite and swallowed, "What about that time you tried to make brownies? And you mixed up the sugar with the salt and added raisins because you didn't know they weren't chocolate chips? And they were not even cooked all the way. It literally slid off my napkin."

"I was seven!"

"Yeah… and I was twelve."

Tails finished his burrito and thought for a moment, "Oh yeah, well how about the time you-"

"Do not bring up the Chili Dog Incident of '32. We promised we'd never speak of it again."

My little brother stopped with his mouth open. He snapped it shut and thought for a moment, "Okay then… Remember the time that you attempted to cook a store-bought pizza?"

I buried my head in my hands, "I did until you said it…"

"Raw dough, Sonic. Raw dough."

"I know, I know, I heard you the first time." After a moment, I poked my eyes back up, "Okay Mr. Photographic Memory, remember when you tried to make a quesadilla? You didn't know how much cheese to put on so you grabbed the whole three pound block then turned the microwave on high. Pool of liquid cheese all over the kitchen floor."

"I'm not the guy who somehow burned juice. That shouldn't even be possible."

I smiled sheepishly, "Okay Tails, you got me there. I don't even know how I did that."

Both of us burst out laughing. After a few minutes, Tails wiped the crumbs of his face and gave a small smile. "We've had some strange experiences in the kitchen… but I think it's time to stop."

"Meaning…?"

"Meaning you," Tails leaned forward and pointed at me, "Need to… Stay. Out. Of. The. Kitchen."

"I will Tails, I will."

"No, you won't." Tails pulled an envelope out and set it on the table. "We have neighbors who are suing. Suing over your cooking! Do you know how bad this is?"

I scratched my head, "Um… yes?"

"Sonic!"

A small knocking noise came from the front door, interrupting Tails oncoming lecture. A little too quickly, I stood up and said, "I'll get it!" then zipped away.

"SONIC!"

At the front door, I smirked and pulled the heavy wooden door open to find- "Amy? What are you doing here?"

The pink hedgehog peered at me from behind two big paper bags in her arms, a little confused. "Vanilla asked me to come drop off your groceries that she bought you. She said you blew up the kitchen again."

I looked up at the ceiling a little exasperated, "Why is everyone blaming me for that?"

"Maybe because it was your fault?" Amy smiled slightly, shifting the bags full of food. "Can I come in?"

Mentally, I face-palmed myself. "Right, sorry." I reached out and took one of the bags and motioned Amy to follow me.

Tails was standing in the kitchen, arms crossed and scowling. "Really? Really?"

"What? Amy has the groceries?"

The said girl gave a timid wave and put her bag on the brand-new counter. She inspected the new kitchen design and smiled, "I think I actually like the color scheme they chose this time. Less...flashy."

Tails started to unload the food, "Yeah. Let's see how long it lasts."

"Hey!" I grabbed a loaf of bread and tossed it in the bread box, "I'll stay out of the kitchen."

"Give me one reason to believe you."

Well… he got me there. Amy chuckled and began to help. We had all of the food put away in about five minutes and sat down around the table.

"So," Tails started, "What are we going to do to keep you out of the kitchen? Apparently, the prospect of having the pants sued off you isn't enough."

"I dunno. Bribe me?"

"That doesn't work."

"How do you know what works and what doesn't?"

"Sonic!"

Amy interrupted. "Okay you two, arguing isn't going to solve the problem." She looked at both of us with this stern expression that would have made Shadow feel guilty. "Now, let's address the problem."

"Okay, Sonic can't cook."

I rolled my eyes, "We can't cook."

Tails stuck out his tongue at me.

"Alright, then what can we do to remedy this?" Amy asked. "Have you tried cookbooks?"

"Um… I'm not much of a reader so, I sort of ignore them." I scratched the back of my neck, a little sheepishly.

Tails made a 'there-ya-go' motion.

"Okay, how about a cooking class?"

"People end up in the hospital." Tails responded immediately.

Amy frowned, "Okay, then get take-out."

"Well we did that for a few years but…"

"It got old really quick," Tails finished for both of us. "One can only stand so much pizza before the thought of it makes you wanna hurl."

The girl just smiled and shook her head, "You really are on the last leg, aren't ya?"

Both of us nodded silently.

After a pause, Amy brought up her final suggestion, "Get a cook."

"What are we, rich?" I asked a little annoyed.

She rolled her eyes, "You don't need to hire a professional. I'm sure someone would do it." Amy looked at me with this expectant look that made me feel like I was missing something. I stared back at her trying to understand, but got a little distracted by her bright green eyes.

Finally, Amy got impatient enough, "I'll do it! Sheesh…"

"Oh…"

Tails held up a timeout sign, "Hold it! You want to cook… for us?" He just looked at me with this confused expression.

Amy laughed, "Well obviously, I'm not cooking everything. I mean, you can handle cereal for breakfast… right?"

"I'll pour his milk."

I gave a light punch on Tails arm and glared. "Sheesh, I can get milk without burning the house down. It's trying to cook with it that makes me feel like an idiot."

"You are an idiot."

"Ha, ha."

Amy ignored the exchange and continued, "And I'm guessing that you'll just eat vendor chili dogs at lunch or order a pizza, but I think I can handle dinner. Besides, at Vanilla's I feel a little useless. Have you seen Cream in the kitchen? It's unnatural how good her food is!" She smiled. "How about we try it tonight and tell me what you think. 'Kay?"

So the two of us agreed, a little reluctantly. I mean, I didn't want to ask Amy to take her evening to cook for us. Who wanted to do that?

"I wish my mouth was bigger." Those were the first words out of Tails' 'too small' mouth when Amy walked in with a platter of homemade sour cream enchiladas.

The hedgehog blushed and laid the pan down on some pot holders. She cut out one of the steaming stuffed tortillas and spooned it onto my plate, the smell of chicken and cheese making my mouth water.

"Holy Chaos… where the heck did you learn to cook?" I demanded digging in immediately following the word, 'Amen'.

Across the table, Amy laughed and she took a bite. "This is a new recipe that I've wanted to try so I just thought, 'why not?'"

Tails and I were too busy eating to answer.

At one awkward moment, I wanted to say, "I love your cooking," but it came out as, "I love you." Stammering, I corrected the grammar and stuffed my mouth with as much food as I could, trying to hide my red face. Tails was too busy laughing to pity me and Amy blushed furiously, obviously trying to suppress a smile.

After the heavenly meal, we talked to Amy about the cooking. Now don't get me wrong, I thought the food was really good. Like, five-star restaurant good. But I still felt a little guilty just asking Amy to come and cook for us for free.

Eventually we decided that she'd have Friday and Saturday off, and if she couldn't do it one night it wasn't a big deal. We offered to pay her, but Amy refused any money or treats that we offered. So we just offered for her to eat dinner with us whenever she wanted. Can't say that we weren't grateful.

Amy went home shortly after. As soon as she left, Tails began to tease me relentlessly until I excused myself to bed. It had been a very long and very strange day.

I'm dying of laughter right now… Anyone else? This chapter had a little help from Halo's older brother. And by a little help, I mean he wrote pretty much the whole first part of the chapter (everything above the first line across the page was pretty much his) We'll just call him Havoc (you might remember him mentioned in the previous chapter).

Havoc: I wish to address them personally.

Era: Okay.

I would like to thank all of the little people. The munchkins, the dwarves, the lollipop guild, the hobbits, santa's elves, and the oompa loompas, all of them were a big help in getting where I am today. As I was reading the original manuscript I was struck by how, like my sister, it was in serious need of professional help. So I used my superior intellect to construct a more highbrow reading experience. Then I got bored and made things go boom. Don't try this at home, and if you do, send me pictures. Have fun kiddies!

Um… I'm offended and complimented at the same time. Don't know what to make of this feeling. So before my brain snaps, I'll just move on.

Halo: Not so fast! Dear readers, please do not think ill of me because my brother decided to soil the family name. He will definitely NOT be writing again (unless there's science involved again, then he'll force me to let him. I got a D in that subject anyway, so… yeah. It probably was wiser for him to help out with the chemistry of this chapter). Plus, he's a pretty serious gamer and may or may not think that Sonic the Hedgehog is total crap. But what does he know?... a lot. My brother knows a lot. He was taking college courses in his Sophomore year.

But nevermind about him. He bugs me enough at home, he is SO NOT taking over online. Sorry "Havoc", but you're done here.

No I'm not. I'm always watching you… Never underestimate the power of older, smarter, better looking, all-powerful brothers. Readers, make sure to read future chapters very carefully. I may be able to sneak a few easter eggs in (depending on whether they catch my changes before or after they publish).

NO. YOU WON'T SNEAK IN ANYTHING.

If you see anything mentioning a group tinkle, it was me. BWAHAHAHAHA!

*grabs head and moans* WOULD YOU TWO STOP IT? Okay, now I just have a huge headache. I'm going to just stop now.

Hope y'all enjoyed! Please review!