Sorry about the tiny lapse in updates; I'm pretty sure I have the flu, I have essays due for every class (the blessed curse of being a history major), and my laundry was about to grow legs and walk out of my dorm if I didn't wash it soon. Anyway, I hope this chapter was worth it and I tried to fit a little bit more Seth POV in there as well.
Off-topic, but I've been listening to the Once More, With Feeling soundtrack from Buffy the Vampire Slayer all day and I think I wrote my Sociology paper in the rhythm of a show tune. Oopsies.
As always, feel free to review and favorite and follow and check out my other stories if you have not already.
The next few days, Sidney wasn't at school. Seth texted her each morning, but he never got a reply and it frustrated him. Every time it seemed like he took a step forward with her, she took 3 giant steps backwards and fell off the map for days.
He was worried.
After seeing how alone she was, taking care of Juno, he was worried that something had happened to one of them. Even Paul seemed unusually morose, more so than usual, and he took that to mean Sidney wasn't talking to him either.
And that's why he found himself walking towards the older boy at lunch, clutching the strap of his bag as he approached the boy and his friends. They fell silent as he sidled up to the table and Paul raised one eyebrow, giving him a smirk. "Look, boys, we don't even have to threaten them for their lunch money anymore. They bring it to us themselves."
The other guys laughed, sneering at Seth as he tried to look unaffected. "Can I talk to you?" He asked Paul, meeting the older boy's cold stare with his own.
"About what, kid?" Paul scoffed, leaning back until his chair was teetering on the back to legs as he popped a couple chips into his mouth. He knew exactly what the boy wanted to ask about, but he was going to toy with him first.
If the kid wanted to try playing house with his best friend, he had to get through the guard dog first.
"Sidney." Seth murmured, earning more laughter from the peanut gallery.
Jared spoke up from Paul's side with a grin. "Aw, did she finally decide to stop playing with the kids in the sandbox and find a real man?"
Seth glanced at Jared, rolling his eyes as he retorted, "No, she decided to quit rolling with the pigs and find someone better."
Jared smirked, sitting back in his seat as he nodded. "I like him. He's got spunk."
"Especially for Sid." The other boy, one Seth didn't recognize, joked as he stood up and gathered his tray. The other boys erupted in laughter as he brushed past Seth. "I'm heading out. I'll leave this one to you, Paul."
"See you, Logan." Paul mumbled, standing as well and brushing the chip crumbs off his chest as he jerked his head towards the cafeteria side door that led into one of the stairwells. "Walk with me, kid."
He didn't wait for a response before he threw a heavy arm around Seth's neck, practically dragging him over to the door. As they passed his usual table, Collin and Brady exchanged wide-eyed stares as if asking each other if they wanted to incur Paul's wrath by intervening. Eventually, their self-preservation won out and they watched as the door swung shut behind the boys.
"Alright, Seth, I'm only going to explain this once. Next time, I'll kick your ass all over that cafeteria and I don't care if Sidney is there to watch me do it." His nostrils flared as he pinned the younger boy against the wall with an arm across his throat. "You stay away from her. You don't touch her, you don't talk to her, hell, you don't even get to look at her anymore. Got that?"
Seth stayed quiet a moment until Paul ground his arm further into his throat, making him croak quietly, "Jealous?"
Paul laughed, a loud braying sound that echoed off the empty stair walls. "Now why would I be jealous of you?" His arm lightened, letting the younger boy breathe as he smirked. "I've had my hands all over that girl. I've heard her scream my name more times than I can count. In fact, she's probably at home in my bed right now. She was begging for more before school, and she'll probably attack me as soon as I get home."
Seth tried not to let his words bother him; He knew that Sidney and Paul were more than close, and Sidney hadn't made him any promises to stay away from other guys. "It doesn't matter."
"Doesn't it?" Paul's face was twisted into an angry scowl as he pinned the boy again, forcing the air out of Seth's lungs in a loud gasp. "How about the fact that the other day, while you were frolicking in the sand and believing all her lies, I had just fucked her?"
"You're a liar." Seth spat automatically, making Paul laugh once more as the two boys glared each other down.
"Whatever you want to believe. If it makes you sleep better at night thinking she's an angel, go ahead. But stay away from her, or next time you'll get worse than this."
Seth felt the fist in his eye rather than saw it; he crumpled to the ground as Paul finally removed his arm and let him breath fully again. Through the pounding in his head as he cupped a hand over his probably blackened eye, he watched Paul practically stomp out of the stairway towards the parking lot doors.
Sidney was just awakening, curled up in the center of Paul's twin bed as she stretched and enjoyed the warm sunlight beaming in from the window and taking the chill from her bare skin, when Paul stormed in.
"Woah, what bit you on the ass?" She frowned, moving to sit up before her practically dove at her. His hands gripped her wrists, slamming her arms above her head as he straddled her slim waist. "Paul! If you're going to be like this…make sure the door is locked." She smirked, the sheet falling away from her body in their tussle and revealing her firm breasts to his hungry gaze.
"Tell me you're mine," He practically snarled, his eyes boring into hers as he held her down, her delicate wrists in one hand as the other trailed down her body, earning him a soft shiver.
'Oh, boy, Possessive Paul is on the scene today, ladies and gents.' Sidney sighed softly as she looked up at her best friend, shaking her head slightly. "I'm not anyone's property, Paul. What happened?"
He stayed silent for a long, tense moment before he got up, sitting on the foot of the bed and running a hand through his hair in frustration. "That fucking Clearwater kid."
"What about Seth?" Sidney frowned, crawling down the bed and pressing against his back as she laid her head against his shoulder. She could feel how tense he was, and she had no clue what Seth could have done to rile him up so badly.
"Came up to us at lunch asking about you." Paul scoffed, shaking his head as he reached back and stroked her long, unbrushed hair. "I told him he needed to get lost and stop bothering you."
'He was asking about me?' She smiled, feeling that damn flutter in her heart again. This time, it was cut off by his next sentence though, and she immediately felt a cold chill run through her despite the sun on her back. "What did you say to him?"
"Nothing that was a lie." Paul muttered, laying back as she moved out from behind him. "Come on, weren't you still hot this morning? I can do that tongue trick you like." He grinned, reaching for her hips to pull her into his lap only to stare in confusion as she stood up with the sheet wrapped around her.
"What the fuck did you say to him, Paul?" Her tone was serious as she started to get dressed, tossing on a bralette and a denim skirt over her panties.
He sat up on his elbows, brows furrowed in confusion as she turned her back to him. "I told him the truth. That if he didn't stay away from you, I'd hurt him."
A half-empty bottle of lotion slammed into his chest, splattering him with moisturizer as he yelped. "Why the hell would you do that? What did Seth ever do to you?" Sidney yelled, turning back to the dresser and grabbing his deodorant as her next projectile. He stood up, quickly coming over and wrapping his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides.
"You have enough going on with your life, Sid. You don't need to start falling for guys that just want to dump their v-cards on you." He murmured, pressing his lips gently against her pulsing jugular as she stayed stiff in his embrace. "I just made him see reason."
"You don't get to make that judgement call for me, Paul." She nearly growled, not letting his soft kisses sway her like she normally would. If she couldn't get rid of the urges with a fuck, she knew that a good fight would be just as relaxing. "What. Did. You. Say?"
Paul sighed softly as he left a last, lingering kiss on her shoulder and murmured, "I told him I had no reason to be jealous of him. That I've been all over you, in you, and you couldn't get enough of me. I told him that while you two were getting cozy in the sand, you probably still had my cum in you."
"Oh, god." Sidney whispered, pulling away and turning to face her best friend as she felt betrayal rip through her. "Why?"
"You didn't need that kind of heartbreak, Sidney. Do you really think that you could play princess with Clearwater and ignore everything-" Her hand darted out, slapping him before she even processed what was going on.
She shook out her stinging hand and bent down, grabbing her wedges and buckling them clumsily around her ankles as she tried to blink back hot tears. "You told me I deserved the world, Paul. Now I'm not good enough for that world and I should stay in my lane?"
"I'm trying to protect you." He maintained stubbornly, crossing his arms. "He could never keep up with you and you know it."
"You're not protecting me." She felt the first tear run down her cheek as she grabbed a cardigan from her overnight bag and tossed it on over her bralette. "You know why I am the way I am, and yet you run around chasing off any decent guys by perpetuating the fact that I'm a whore."
"I never said-" Paul's eyes widened as he saw the tear leaving a small, glistening trail down her cheek before it dropped from her jawline.
"You told him that we were hooking up like you were just a fun frolic in the Ford when I was bored." She angrily wiped her face as she turned to walk out. "This is over."
"Where are you going?" He watched in bewilderment as he felt his hands beginning to tremble.
"To go try to explain to Seth that I'm not a total piece of shit." She left, barely pausing as Juno looked up from her snack to watch the spectacle. Paul raced after her, grabbing her elbow midway through the living room as his grandmother peered out of the kitchen at them. "Let me go."
"No! You know I'm fucking right and all you're doing is setting yourself up for getting hurt. Maybe I shouldn't have said it the way I did, but I don't regret a fucking word. If the truth hurts you so much, maybe think twice before you beg me to fuck you next time." He spoke harshly, too focused on making her hurt to notice the way her head had bowed, and her arms were trembling as she felt her entire little bubble deflating.
"Paul!" Nona admonished from the kitchen, her wise, old eyes glaring at him as she pointed her wooden spoon at her only grandson. "Let that girl go, you're hurting her. You've done enough damage as it is."
He glanced down, seeing how tightly he was gripping Sidney's elbow and immediately letting go. The rage slowly left him as he realized what he had done and he tried to reach out, his fingers brushing against her hair before she pulled away. "Sid…"
"Don't you dare." She whispered as she walked out, the door slamming behind her with a resounding bang as Juno started to cry.
Seth was relaxing on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he held a semi-thawed bag of peas on his face. 'I don't even like peas.' He sighed softly as he tried to reposition the bag to feel the cold better and only succeeded in making his eye throb in pain. He wanted nothing more than to lay down and forget the entire day, but he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Sidney laying in the sand, kissing and caressing Paul like she had done with him.
His mother was working away in the kitchen, trying to stay busy instead of hovering over her youngest. She knew that whatever happened to Seth's eye was probably Sidney-related, but he had refused to talk to her. She could only hope that if she gave him enough space, he'd open up naturally.
It was Leah who came down the stairs, casually remarking, "Your pet skank is on the porch looking like someone kicked her puppy."
Seth immediately sat up, biting his lip softly as Leah perched on the arm of the couch beside him. "Sidney's out there?"
"How many pet skanks do you have?" Leah muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "She the one that caused that?" She gestured to the melting bag of peas on her little brother's face, displaying a rare moment of sibling concern as he nodded.
"Paul didn't like me asking about her."
Leah sighed softly as she slid off the arm to sit beside her brother. "Look, Seth…Sidney was my best friend for a couple years, and I'm going to be honest. She was one of the kindest, most loyal girls you could ever ask for."
"Then why do you hate her so much now?" He lifted his peas, letting Leah examine his shiner as she shrugged.
"She started acting really weird in 7th grade. Wouldn't hang out, barely came to school. It's like she stopped functioning." Leah hummed quietly as she grabbed the peas, holding the one corner that was still slightly frozen against his eye. "Then she went to Los Angeles for a year and came back as…what she is now. The only thing she cared about was getting so drunk or so high that she could forget who she was and finding whoever would sleep with her for the night."
"What happened to her?" Seth murmured quietly as watched his sister smile bittersweetly.
"I have no idea. But she's not good for you, Seth. I know you think she is, and I know she can do lots of things I really don't want to imagine, but she doesn't care about herself, let alone anyone else." Leah spoke quietly as she removed the peas and gave him a soft smile. "Don't tell anyone I was nice to you, got it?"
"Got it." He smiled, sitting up as he sighed softly. "I guess I should go talk to her."
"Yeah, before we have to disinfect the porch swing." Leah watched him stand up, playing with the bag of mushy peas as her brother made his way to the doorway. "Hey, mom, do you want to cook Seth's face peas while they're thawed?"
She was sitting on the railing of their porch, staring with wide, nervous eyes at the front door when it suddenly started to open. She had the sudden urge to lean back and fall into the flowerbed out of view, but she tried to steel her nerves. 'You can do this. You have to try. If you want him, you have to try.'
Seth stepped out, shutting the door with a soft click behind him as he avoided looking at her. He knew that one look at her would be the final nail in his coffin. "What are you doing?"
"Right now, trying not to puke on your mom's azaleas. You?" She tried to joke, feeling her stomach churning as she perched on the railing. 'Oh god, he can't even look at me.'
"Thawing dinner on my face." He responded softly, keeping his head bowed as they stood on opposite sides of the porch. "What are you doing here?"
She sighed softly as she looked down at her thighs, smoothing out the denim of her skirt nervously. "Paul told me what happened and…I needed to talk to you."
"I think your guard dog got the message across." He retorted immediately, surprising them both.
Sidney shook her head as she hopped off the railing and stepped closer to him. He stayed where he was, not looking up. "No, Seth. I needed to tell you that Paul was out of line, and I'd like to try to explain myself if you'll let me."
"So he was telling the truth." Seth murmured, glancing up at her for the first time as she sighed softly.
"He…What did he tell you?" She whispered, following his lead as he stepped towards the porch swing on the end of the porch.
"That you were- that you had just slept with him when you took me to the beach. That he had touched every inch of you, and you were begging him to sleep with you before school this morning." Seth recounted, stiffening as soon as he felt her sit beside him on the swing. She left a few inches between them, clinging to the chain the connected the swing to the rafters as she tried to give him his space.
"He has touched every inch of me," She whispered as she looked out at the warm May sunset, wrapping her arms around herself as she prepared herself. "I've been sleeping with Paul since I was 14. He was my best friend for long before that, though. I think that's why I trusted him."
"Then what do you want from me?" Seth spoke bitterly, only to freeze as she laughed softly, tiredly.
"I'm not good enough for you, Seth. But sometimes I like to believe that one day, I can escape from all the hurt and the pain and the gossip and live my life like a normal girl again." She scoffed, pulling her legs up to her chest as she rested her chin on her knees despondently. "I'm not- I don't- Shit."
"What about the beach then?" He asked, glancing over at her as she rocked herself gently. He found himself using his feet to rock the swing gently, comforting her without making it obvious.
"I slept with him at lunch. We talked about some stuff. I decided that I couldn't drag you down with me anymore; when I saw you at your locker, I was about to turn away." She murmured, getting lost in the memory of that day as she let the swing rock her. "If I had known we were going to- I would never have…" She groaned softly, laying her head on her knees as she felt the tears of frustration building.
"Why do you have to sleep with him then?" Seth asked softly, frowning as he heard her soft sniffles. 'She's genuinely upset…'
She raised her head, trying to smooth her hair away from her flushed face as she tried not to sniffle. "I…I've always been kinda…sexual." She hiccupped, covering her mouth momentarily as the breakfast Nona had made her threatened to come back up. When she felt it was safe, she continued, "It got worse after my parents got divorced. I started sneaking out and making out with boys and I just wanted attention. My dad was the only one who ever gave me attention, and I wanted to feel that again."
"That doesn't explain the whole Paul thing." He murmured, watching her carefully as she nodded.
"I know it doesn't." She fell silent after that and for a moment, Seth wondered if she was going to finish at all. "My mother met Clark when I was 12. He was the handsome, rich playboy type she always wanted, and they got married as soon as Grace could dig her claws in deep enough."
Seth frowned slightly as she paused, hearing her take an unsteady gasp of air. "Sidney-"
"He abused me." She interrupted, closing her eyes as she finally spoke the words to someone for the first time. "He abused me and it got worse and I couldn't control it anymore. Sex made me happy, and I couldn't get happy from anything else."
Seth's eyes widened as he watched her try to keep herself together. Without thinking about it, he slid across the swing and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Sidney, it's okay."
"It's not!" She cried as she clutched his t-shirt, pressing her face into his chest. "I can't control it anymore; if I don't have it, I start getting itchy and weird and I can't focus and-"
He cut her off by pressing his lips against hers in a soft, passionate kiss. Her eyes widened before they slowly slid shut and she clung to him even tighter until they both ran out of air. "Sidney, will you stay for dinner?"
She stared up at him in surprise, still hiccupping softly as she tried to control her breathing. Tears still ran down her cheeks like rivers, but she didn't think he minded that she was soaking his shirt. "Dinner?"
"Yeah, dinner. And more talking after." He gave her a soft smile as he smoothed her tangled, unbrushed hair away from her face so that he could see her eyes clearly. "Start slow, you know. Maybe start with dinner and work up to you tearing my clothes off."
She couldn't help but smile softly as she leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips as she murmured, "I can try."