a/n: I tagged this on tumblr, but I forgot to post the warnings here for temporarily blind/injured character.

Fictober Day 12: "What if I don't see it?"

"Nii-san, LOOK OUT!"

The holy water grenade exploded right as Yukio's warning reached Rin's ears. Automatic instinct was to raise his arms to guard his face, but all that did was cause more pain.

Because the holy water felt like acid on his skin, bubbling and blistering, eating away at the flesh on his arms. And it had splashed all over his face as well, gnawing at his cheeks, at his chin, at his nose.

But his eyes hurt the worst. Like someone was digging knives into them, trying to pry them loose from their sockets. Every bit of pain Rin had felt before—every scraped knee, every bruised lip, every broken bone—seemed like it was coming back to haunt him, each wound opening up again as though it had never truly healed. Even in demon form, his body would not right itself in minutes the way it usually did. His skin just burned and tore and tore and burned.

This pain was excruciating.

Rin fell to the ground, barely even managing a whimper as his knees collided with the grass. In the distance, he heard someone calling out to him, but it sounded so far away. When something brushed against his shoulder, he recoiled like a wounded animal.

"—ok, Nii-san." Yukio. That was Yukio. "Shh, shh. Hey. You're gonna be ok. We have to get you to safety, away from the demon."

What if I don't see it? a garbled part of his brain thought. What if I can't see anything?

Of course, no words would come out. Just another series of whimpers. But it was true—everything was just so painfully, disturbingly dark and the pain just kept getting worse, worse, worse. Yukio's voice kept fading and coming back like he was talking to him through a cell phone with poor signal.

It wasn't just Yukio's voice. He heard others—his classmates, no doubt. But all of them were combining, growing louder, and then softer. Louder and softer. Rin's stomach churned and twisted with nausea. He was going to—

"Shhh," Yukio insisted quietly. "Shh, it's ok, Nii-san."

"...hurts," Rin mumbled hoarsely, finally. Or had he said anything out loud at all? He couldn't tell the difference between actually saying something and just thinking it. "C-can't see."

"I know it does," Yukio murmured, and then: "Shura, cover me! Suguro, I need a hand!"

Gunshots. An animalistic wail. Suguro shouted something in response, and then Rin was being lifted. He expelled a sputtery gasp as that caused his body to burn anew.

The pain was too much. Rin descended rapidly into unconsciousness.

He woke up very slowly. Even with his sensitive hearing, he could only catch fragments of conversations. Every sound, every smell—it was all knotted together. Everything lacked its usual sharpness. He couldn't even open his eyes. He was hot and cold simultaneously.

"...so scary," someone breathed out, low and feminine. A sniffle. "He looked like he was in so much pain."

"Yeah." This voice was much more gruff. "I've never seen him look so scared."

Silence. Was he asleep again? Rin tried to move, even if it was just a little bit. His body refused to obey.

Then: "He's been sleeping since yesterday. Should we come back later?"

"I can't stand the thought of him waking up alone."

"He won't be." Some shuffling. "I'm right here."

"Okumura-sensei," another voice whispered. "You need to rest."

"Koneko-san is right. You look like shit, man."

No response.

"Yuki-chan..." Hesitation. "You haven't left this room since we brought him here. You have to at least eat something."

Yukio wasn't eating? Sudden determination bulleted through him—injured or not, Rin wasn't going to let Yukio neglect basic biological needs like eating and sleeping over his well-being.

"It was my grenade," Yukio muttered finally. Hollowly. "It's my fault he's in here."

"S-s-stupid f-four eyes," Rin croaked out, voice barely audible. "Not... your fault."

He heard somebody gasp. Someone choked out a sob.

"Oh, Rin," came Shiemi's watery voice. She sounded closer to him now, like she was hovering right beside him but was too afraid to touch him.

Rin tried once again in vain to open his eyes. Attempted to sit up, to turn his head. Only his fingers would twitch in response.

"Don't... cry," he whispered. "N-not over me."

"You were hurt so badly," Shiemi went on, choking on her own tears. "We... we weren't sure when you were going to wake up!"

"We were worried, damn it," Suguro hissed.

"S'ok," Rin slurred.

"It's not," Yukio said in a tight voice. "You were hurt because of me."

"Lots of people... get hurt 'cause of me," Rin murmured. "I h-had it comin'." Repeated: "S'ok, Yukio. I... forgive you." His fingers twitched again. "Now... go eat, dumbass."

He heard another sob. He couldn't tell where it came from.