The story of Twilight and all of its characters belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 19: I have Chosen My Path
I paced my room back and forth focused on the choices that would change my life forever. My thoughts were louder the breaths I took. And that's really saying something because after a short while I got to dizzy to stay standing. I laid down on my bed watching the walls of my room shift in and out. I took a few deep breaths and focused on my ceiling fan until I felt better. I sat up and closed my eyes, the I opened then back up slowly and stared forward at my door. I already that I have made my decision. I made it the same day that John give me the chose. As soon as the words left his mouth I knew I couldn't leave. I just kept it a secret from myself. I was just prolonging the change in me. Now here it is at its full force, and there is nothing I would do to stop it. I looked down at my bed as Edward's face came into my mind. I cannot deny myself him any longer. I wanted him. Since I first read his name. Since I first saw that he was real. And it sacred that if I ever grew to admire him more...then I would love him. I couldn't run from the danger any more because of that. I saw it coming. At least I could tell myself that I tried. I just fell right into my own prediction. And I don't really care anymore.
I thought about how frustrated he got when I read about how he just thought of himself as some hopeless monster. I wanted to tell him everything he needed to hear to know that he was anything but. Bella's obsession with him made him seem perfect to her. But he wasn't. He was flawed, in the most beautiful way. In that would make anyone want to look deeper inside of him. It's ironic how he could see inside everybody else instead of himself. Even with that great vision of his he still cannot see. I want to make him see. I want to know him, his desires. To be someone of great importance to him. I want to the know him inside out. To be the mind reader's mind reader. But only time will tell if I could make even a fraction of that possible. I looked up and at my widow. The sky that always seemed like a blanket that I could just lay across comforted my mind, with its full caress to my vision. It gave me a clear view of my thoughts. And the life that radiated from the leaves on the tree near my window, brought forth its good feelings. Tears stung my eyes as I smiled. Edward...I looked back to my lamp. I wanted him. I smiled wider and felt a strong feeling of excitement go through my heart and stomach like they were playing ping pong with my emotion. Then I bit my lip. A brush of doubt on the side of my head. What if he doesn't feel that way particular way about me? It has been my experience that when I like someone they either don't know that I exist or just think of me as their little sister. I folded my lips into my mouth and shook my head. The worst thing that could happen is he could leave...and I would have a normal life. But if I leave I will defiantly have a normal life. Either way in the long run I 'could' get my heart broken. No! I already have made my decision! I'm old enough to deal with rejection. I shook my head again. I can do this! I know I can! All I have to do is try. Like today when I talked to Edward, I was myself and it was like we never conflicted in the first place. Things are going to be fine. I thought of Edward and I talking in fifth period again and became excited again. I can't believe that this is happening to me! I smiled again and looked over at my alarm clock. 6:00 p.m., it read. Jessica and the other would be here in an hour to pick me up!
"Okay." I said to myself as I breath out. I started taking off my clothes to take a shower. When I was done with my shower I head decided that I wound make my hair wavy. I dried off in my room and moisturized with sweet smelling lotion. As the sun was going down my room lit up brighter with the light provided by my lamp. After I had put on my undergarments i did my hair. Then I walked over to my closet and searched through my clothes for something to ware. I pulled out black skinny jeans, a light pink shirt, and a gray and pink coat that had six bottoms in rows of two in the front of it. I laid them down on my bed. Then I sat down myself and closed my eyes. Nervousness was started to eat at me, like a pig in a piranha tank. After I swallowed my nerves and sighed. As I stood up to get dress I looked at the clock, 6:55 p.m. . Ah! I have to hurry up! I started to put on my clothes very quickly when I heard a car bumping outside. They're here! I quickened my pace and finished. Then I put my side purse on and took a look in the mirror. I look pretty, I thought smiling. Then I heard another bump.
"Eh!" I said then grabbed my keys and my phone. Then I rushed out of the house to the car. When I came up to it the light was on inside and I saw Angela, Lauren, and Jessica.
"Hi Guys!" I said as I opened the door to slide into the back with Angela. I got a unison of heys from Jessica and Angela, and a hi from Lauren. Oh, I can just hear her eyes rolling.
"This is going to be so much fun!" Jessica said as she began to reverse out of my driveway.
"I know!" Lauren responded. Then a conversation of all things that were teenage girl broke out between them. Angela and I smiled at each other.
"So, I took your advice." She told me. I looked at her questionably. "Ya know, asking Eric to the dance?" She said. I nodded when the memory came back to me.
"Yeah I remember. So what happened?" I asked. And she smiled wider.
"He said yes! I totally took control! Thank you." She said honestly.
"I told you." I said with a smile. Then both sat in a happy comfortable atmosphere. I looked out of the window and sighed. A scene from the book played through my mind. After Bella came back from the book store she was attacked. That means when I came from the book store I will be attacked also...I believe that Edward will save me like he did before. Then another thought occurred to me...I following us right now? I looked in the back of us and saw nothing but a dark road and its reflecting yellow paint on the ground. I turned back around shaking my head. No, not this early. I hope not. That would be sweet but creepy. I thought with a smile. I know that he'll come for me when i'm in trouble.
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