Expectations
A wave of exasperation hit Brian and he slammed his head and fists into his desk, knocking his English textbook onto the floor. He regretted it immediately as he winced at the shooting pain in his hands and skull, nearly gasping. He clutched his desk with a white knuckled grip, maximizing his restraint to not make a noise.
No screaming or crying, he couldn't do any of that as much as he wanted to.
He knew he couldn't keep going like this but he had no choice. His parents never failed to remind him about the importance of an education.
Not just any education, an Ivy League education. His mother was Yale, his father Princeton, and his sister Harvard.
His parents never failed to mention their Harvard educated daughter and their Columbia bound son to anyone caught in their path. He was sure Patty Chase was sick of it already.
Brian was his parents miracle. They had his sister and tried for over a decade until he came along. By the time he was born, his sister was nearly out of the house and he was lavished with relentless attention and all the toys he could dream of. But it all came with equally intense expectations and more than once had Brian thought his parents "miracle" was his curse.
The throbbing in his head dulled and his vision adjusted to the darkened room. He looked down and realized he had destroyed his desk lamp during his tantrum, the all too familiar rush of shame pulsing through him as he tried his best to sweep up the pieces.
The only light came through his bedroom window, a street light giving him enough visibility to realize his hands were bruised with his index finger swollen and he already knew it was broken. He tried to figure out what to tell his mother, hoping she wouldn't notice.
Brian walked towards his window and stared at the Chase house. He wondered what it would be like to have parents who didn't expect anything from you, who didn't care about double majors or summer internships. All they cared about was that she came home on time and stayed out of trouble.
He almost resented Angela, she didn't know how good she had it.
Still, he could never bring himself to do it.
A tear fell from his eye and ran down his cheek. It was all too much for him to take and more tears quickly emerged, the saltiness stinging his cheeks.
He knew he could never be what his parents expected and he knew he loved Angela and she would never feel the same. He knew his lunch money would be stolen again tomorrow and he knew he'd feel sick to his stomach for the millionth time.
He knew no matter what he did, it could never heal the hole inside him, slowly draining away everything that mattered to him until he was an empty shell.
He broke his gaze from the house and threw himself facedown on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. When he was confident he wouldn't be heard, he allowed himself to cry as much as he needed to.
He knew it would be the only comfort he'd have for a long time.
Authors note: Thank you Jody Barsch for your review. The feedback you gave me was very helpful and its encouraging that someone took time out of their day just to give it.