Tobe Kakeru Tries His Best
"Uhmm… So… how was it?"
"Hmm… it is dry… as expected."
"H-hey, sorry about that. You do know that I have no experience in this right?"
"WE both don't have experience in this. And would you please stop being negative at every comment I give? It's not like I said that to insult you…"
"..r-right… to be fair, being the realist that I am, I didn't expect anything, so… yeah…"
"…"
"…"
"…is that supposed to be a compliment or something?"
"…"
"..pfft… haha… Hikigaya-kun, we're both new to this. You don't have to try so hard."
"…y-yeah… you too… you're shaking a lot…"
"…yeah…"
"…"
"…."
"…."
"Say, Hikigaya-kun… would you want to do it again?"
"Please Hachi-bro? Help a bro out will you?"
"For the last time Tobe, no. I will not do it. Can't you bother some other of your guy friends instead? What about that Oo-something guy? Or that Yama-something one? And I've already told you not to call me that. Call me by name. Call me Hikigaya. Not Hikitani-kun. Not Hachi-bro. Just Hikigaya."
There was a pause between us after my statement. Must be because the guy in front of me is still processing what I had said… probably. I mean, it shows in his face. That scrunched up eyebrow. That noticeable frown. That mannerism. He's probably thinking about it. Will it amount to anything? Probably not. I've been dancing the same dance with this guy for knows how long now. At least he's not calling me by that terrible name now though.
…
"Buutt Hachi-broooo…." see what I mean?"Ooka-kun and Yamato-kun have transferred schools! Schools that are hours away from Chiba! I cannot just go ask them to go out of their way! You know that Hachi-bro right?"
Ah. Right. Forgot about that.
…
Well not really. It's more like I can't be bothered to remember. Heck, I didn't even remember their names. Why would I care where they are? It's just one of those things that I don't give a damn about you know? Everyone has those, right? You know what I'm talking about right? Things that are relayed to you which the other party thinks it's important but to you it isn't?
"Hachi-bro, I've worked so haaarrdd! This is the closest thing to a response that I got from her. You do know how hard it is to ask Ebina-san right? Right Hachi-bro? You know that right, Hachi-brooOOooo?!"
Tobe, please. It's not about whether it's hard to ask Ebina out or not. It's just you and your personality in general. Hasn't it already been showcased in the past? Remember that time when you forcefully dragged me into one of your episodes of 'Tobe K. Tries To Pick-up a Chick'? You sure did enlighten me that day… enlightened to the fact that you are as terrible at picking-up girls as I am. You being a normalfag who has spent a lot of time being beside that chick-magnet of a blonde, and me being the (former) King of Loners, that's actually pretty impressive.
But.
He does have a point.
No matter who you are, where you're from, what you did [1], it is an undeniable fact that asking out the glasses-wearing beauty that is Ebina Hina and be successful with it is truly a hard feat to pull off. Some would say that it's bordering impossible. And I'd have to agree to with them if only because of the knowledge I have of her true personality.
I would say that when we're both stripped down to the core, Ebina Hina and I aren't that much different. I could go so far as to say that she may be my female equivalent, and you know how hard it is to ask me out (not that anyone has ever… yeah, let me stop that untruthful train of thought). Our circumstances may be different, but I've no doubt that were we put in the same ones, anyone would readily say that we're alike.
Anyways, I may have gone a little bit off-topic there huh? Oh the woes of a loner having a colourful imagination. It has it merits and demerits as like any other things, just like almost everything in this-
….
Right. I'm going off-tangent again. Whoops.
Anyway, even though I've just berated Tobe earlier, I'd still have to congratulate him for being able to do such an amazing feat. Garnering a 'YES' from Ebina Hina in response to him asking her out that is. Granted that she had to set some conditions before finally accepting, but still, GOOD JOB Tobe! HATS OFF TO YOU MAN! And whatever shit it is that has to be given to someone whom you have to congratulate.
It doesn't mean that I want to get involved however. And why did it have to be me? Doesn't Tobe have other male friends? Aside from those whose names I repeatedly forget no matter how many times Tobe remind me of, surely an outgoing guy such as Tobe has other friends… right? Heh. Friends.
When did I consider Tobe as a friend?
…
"It's not like I didn't see this coming you know. It's just that, I really wanted to make our bonds as true as to what you have with Yui and Yukinoshita-san. I knew that they were fragile, that were a certain person suddenly leaves the picture, our group would break. But, I really tried Hikitani-kun."
…
"I really tried to make Hayato-kun to be as true to his self as possible. I tried to make him open up to us more. I tried Hikitani-kun. But I soon figured out that it's not just possible you know? And that made me sad."
…
"Say Hikitani… no… Hikigaya-kun. Would you help me in picking up the pieces?"
…
"Please Hachi-bro? You're the only bro that I can ask of this. It would really really mean so much to me. Like, really really REALLY reaLLY mean so much to me! I'll go so far as to serve you my whole life!"
Please don't. I'd rather be alone than to have someone like you as my servant. Heck, scratch the last part of my previous sentence. I'd rather be alone than anything else. Heh.
"Plllleeaassee?"
…
Sigh.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Really? Oh God thank you so much Hachi-bro! I knew that I could count on you!"
"Hold it. I just said that I-"
"Don't forget the time and place Hachi-bro! Thanks again man! You are a lifesaver."
"Hey wait…"
And there goes the Tobe, exiting the scene as quick as he enters it. Didn't even have the time to listen to me, making me practically commit to his request without a chance of retreat. But oh well, I'm sure that he's a pretty busy guy and he has busy things to do so I'll let him off the hook this time and have him his busy way.
Heh.
…
They say that I'm a sucker for the little sister types. But hey, guess what? They're wrong. The truth is, I'm a sucker for those who need help, be them a cute little sister type, or a dumb guy type.
…
Sigh.
Let's just get this over with.
"So, that's the gist of it."
"Hmmm. I see. That does seem like something Tobecchi would do. Bet he was just waiting for you to say yes, and then he's pretty much on 'you-can't-back-out-on-me-now' mode after that."
…she gets it. She really gets it. Yuigahama Yui really gets it! That's why I never, not even once, doubted her ability to read the mood. She just… gets it. I may sound like I'm gushing here, but were I talking to a different person, say Isshiki or even Miura, I wouldn't net this kind of result. Not even close!
…
Ahem.
"But knowing you Hikki, once you've accepted a request, it's not like you'd back out of it right?"
…
Can I just like, cry right now? She not only gets it, she also gets me! How did a scummy piece of trash like me deserve to even be friends with such an angel?! Even a better question to ask is why haven't I already fallen for this 100% certified true angel in front of me? Or or why don't I just ask her out right here and right now? Being the angel that she is, I have no doubt that she'd say yes! She doesn't even have to like me! That's just how it is! Aha!
…
Whoa.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
…
Whoa.
That was pretty off-character of me don't you think?
Too hyper.
Too delusional.
Too self-degrading.
….
Komachi was right. I really need to tone it down with the MAXX. I've been consuming far too many cans.
But anyway, I wasn't totally off with my rather non-characteristic gushing earlier. I went to her, Yuigahama Yui, so that I could ask her out. One cannot go to a date without a date afterall. I may have lived most of my life as a loner, but even I know the basics of dating. I mean, modern media practically shoves it into you. And there are dating sims which, let's face it, even with the supposed age restriction, are accessible for anyone of any age.
And it's not like I don't have any experience in dating…
…
Hm?
What was that?
Why am I asking Yuigahama out? Why it's because of Tobe of course! Haven't you been listening to me earlier? If you were, then you would… what? I didn't give any specifics as to what Tobe asked of me? I really didn't?
Whoa.
All this lengthy internal monologues and I still haven't given the important details. When have I become this scatter-brained? I am much better at handling my musings than this. I really really really should tone down the MAXX. And maybe I should follow Miura's advice too.
But anyways, the date.
So earlier this day, Tobe came to me and asked me of a request, that request being the date. Of course, it wouldn't be a normal date because if it were, then there's no need for him to get me involved at all. Obviously, it has something to do with Ebina-san's condition to accepting the invitation. And that's why I'm asking Yuigahama out.
The condition was that it has to be a double date. I can imagine the reason for Ebina-san stipulating such a condition. She may not be comfortable with the idea of going out on a date with Tobe yet, or anyone else for that matter. But maybe because of Tobe's persistence and perseverance, she wanted to give it to him atlest once. And so, she came up with a compromise. It's pretty thoughtful of her when you think about it.
"So, are you okay with being my 'date' on that day?"
Asking Yuigahama was no coincidence. After being coaxed by Tobe to go on the date with him, I thought of who I'm going to bring. The first person that went into my mind was, you guessed it, Yuigahama.
…
Well no. Not really.
Yuighama's the second person that came into mind. First was Komachi. It is always Komachi.
But, I can't bring Komachi to the date now can I? Well, maybe I could, but I could just picture out what it is that she would say to me should I go and ask her out.
"Onii-chan, you are now a young adult who has his own problems and has his own ways of solving them right? So can you please stop using me as a shield everytime? Seriously, man it up!" is what she'd probably say.
…
So, Yuigahama.
"Well Hikki, I'm kinda happy that it is me who you went to first. And sure, I'd like to go out with you on that date."
There it is. I knew that I could count on her. I always could. Even with the amount of times I have shunned her, be it consciously or subconsciously, she has always been there. Yuigahama Yui is a genuine nice girl.
"But…"
I may have spoken too soon. And no, that 'But' did not come from me. It came from her. As to why she said so, I cannot be entirely sure. Could it be that she's not really the nice girl that I thought she could be? Preposterous! I am Hikigaya Hachiman, a great judge of one's character! So when I say Yuigahama is a nice girl, you better damn believe that she IS a nice girl.
…
But don't I also have this shitty habit of only scratching the surface when I should have dug deeper instead? My ability to read character may most of the time be accurate, but pair that with this useless habit of mine, and I'm pretty much guaranteed to make incorrect readings from time to time. The prime example of that would be the person who brought me into this predicament: Tobe Kakeru.
…
Yeah. I know his full name. Don't ask.
"I can't do it. I have…"
That's rejection isn't it? Wow. I'd be lying if I say that that didn't break my heart. Granted that I really wasn't asking her out, like asking her out but still… you know? I went to her knowing that she supports Tobe's determination to snag Ebina's heart. Also me being a friend in need, I expected that she'd do it. But hey, maybe it was wrong of to expect such from her.
Was it wrong of me to ask of her this? Was it wrong of me to assume that she'd always be there for me? Was it wrong of me to go to her first? Was it wrong it me to say that she's a nice girl? Have I taken her for granted?
Come to think of it, maybe it's insensitive of me to do this to her. I mean, it's not that too long ago since she confessed to me. I had to… not accept her confession at that time because, well…
Anyway, there's that. It was definitely wrong of me to think that everything's a-okay between us. It just goes to show how much of a noob I am when it comes to relationships. And she said that I've changed for the better. Pretty ironic, what with me being essentially an insensitive jerk to her right now huh? I still amaze myself-
"I have something else to do on that day."
…
Oh.
Ohhhh.
….
Oh.
"I-Is that so? Oh well. I can't do anything about that."
I may have overreacted.
Ehe.
I didn't really overreact in a sense that I didn't really do anything physically. But if Yuigahama could read minds, I wonder what she would be thinking about what I thought just now? Not pretty I guess. I'm thankful that we humans have not yet advanced to the point where we can finally read minds.
Well, seems like everything's good. Except for the part where I still have to ask someone else for the date. That is an issue that I still have to address, but hey, there are obviously more important things that I have to worry about. Like what Yuigahama said just now. She said that she had something else to do. As to what specifically it is, she didn't say.
Should I ask her? Is it okay if I ask her? If she didn't mention it earlier, that must mean she doesn't want to tell me right? I mean, it must have been too private. She has her private life, just like I have my own. Maybe it's not right to ask her about it.
…
But, I had this nagging feeling inside me that begs that I ask her. Is it really not right to ask her? It's pretty funny that I still ask myself this type of questions. I mean, it's already been 6 months since I've acknowledge that Yuigahama and I are friends. A little less than that to acknowledge other people as friends. And yet, here I am still asking questions as to how far and deep a friendship goes, as to what I'm allowed to divulge, as to what I'm allowed to know, as to what I'm allowed to ask.
…
Is it really not okay for me to ask?
"Yeah. Sorry Hikki. You can ask me out some other time though?"
"…. I'll keep that in mind."
After asking Yuigahama and getting a no from her, I once again looked at my list of who I can bring to the date. The list isn't that long. There are only four names in it, two of which includes Yuigahama and Komachi. But the thing is, I have a problem with the remaining two.
There was supposed to be a fifth name on the list. You know, a certain silver-haired someone? I'm talking about Lovely My Angel Totsuka-tan of course! Although, I should probably stop calling HIM that. Yeah, I really should stop calling him that. Totsuka is a respectable young man and he should be treated as such!
…
Anyway, why don't I share with you the rest of the list?
Isshiki Iroha. The reasons she is on the list are because 1) she's a girl; and 2) she's somewhat close to me. I would not have any problem with her if it weren't for her antics lately… and the fact that the last time I asked her for a favor, it didn't go too well. That event cemented on my mind the fact that it is never an okay idea to ask the fox a favor. I know that some may consider it unfair, what with me attending to her whims without me asking for compensation, but oh well, that's just how things roll between the Hachi and the Isshi.
…
Yeah, that sounded way better in my head.
Oh, and yeah, Isshiki might use the date as a way to finally make me accept her advances (serious they may or may not be). After all this time with me skilfully avoiding them, wouldn't it be a shame if all my hard work goes BAM in just one day? Don't get me wrong though. It's not like I don't like the idea of officially dating Isshiki. I mean, she's cute, smart, witty, sly… cute. But really, I am not looking for a relationship right now. So, no offense Isshiki, but I'd have to say NO.
…
Welp, onto the last name on my list: Miura Yumiko.
I personally have no problem with asking Miura. We've already been comfortable with each other by now. I sometimes walk her home whenever club, the Tennis Club, went late. I just felt like I had to you know? Probably just the hard-wired teachings by Komachi kicking in. No biggie.
The problem is her not going with it because of… well, Tobe.
The last time I heard, Miura really isn't fond of Tobe, even during the days when their clique still existed. It also explains why she's so against Tobe making his advances on Ebina-san. So what would she think if I asked her out on a double date with Tobe and Ebina-san? Yeah. She'd probably be pissed off at me. It's been a long time since Miura last gave me a death glare. Needless to say, I do not miss those days.
…
I'm still gonna ask her though. I'd ask her before Isshiki. I'd rather have a pissed-off Miura than a We-are-a-thing-now Isshiki. Just the thought of the latter gives me the chills. Not the good kind, mind you.
"Sure."
See? What have I told you? Miura will say-
Wait what?
"Huh?"
Wow. I did not expect that.
This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder. First, Tobe asking Ebina-san out on date and being successful with it. Next, my premature over-reaction towards Yuigahama's 'rejection' of me. And then this.
Why don't you just tell me that 12th volume of My Teen Romantic Comedy has been indefinitely delayed after it has already been announced a release date?
…
What?
It's delayed?
…
Well shit.
And I already told that damned Zaimoku- I mean… I already told that spineless author WW to just go with what he feels like writing. Nevermind what his fanbase and followers want. Nevermind the mixed reactions that it would get. Nevermind if the series won't be seen in the same light ever again.
It is his own story and his opinion on it should matter the most! While it is true that the series won't have gone this far without the backing of his supporters, the series won't exist if it weren't for him in the first place. He should just heed the words of the great and wise Shia Labeouf : JUST DO IT!
…
Sometimes, with how spineless that author is, I think that the woman in front of me is more manly than he is. Uhmm-hmm. This woman definitely has more balls than that guy.
"Hikio, why do I get the feeling that you're insulting me in your head?"
Was I? As far as my limited knowledge on socialization goes, I am in no way insulting her. In fact, I believe that I just complimented her!
"On the contrair mademoiselle, I was just mentally complimenting you for how much more manly you are than some guy I know."
Uhm-hmm. Definitely a compliment.
But shouldn't compliments be responded with a smile, or in my case, bashfulness? If so, why is this woman giving me a look that is as if I hurt her.
"Are you saying that I'm not feminine enough?!"
How the hell did she arrive to that conclusion?! I'm just praising her for-
Oh.
Ohhhhh.
When I think about it, if I put myself in her position, what I've just said can be indeed be taken as an insult. I mean, if I were a maiden, I wouldn't want to hear from anyone how much more of a 'man' I am than an actual guy. That's just implying that I'm not womanly enough.
Oh boy! What have I gotten myself into?
I could have chosen much more appropriate words to deliver my message much more clearly, but I chose the worst of them all. What have I been eating these days? Maybe I should just drop the MAXX all in all?
But MAXX is my one and only true love! MAXX has always been there for me! In happiness. In sadness. In whatever mood that I was. I cannot just part with MAXX! That would be like giving up a half of my life!
…
What the hell am I thinking about? This is no time to talk about me and my undying love for MAXX Coffee! I still have this misunderstanding to clear up. You know what they say about misunderstandings right?
"Of course you are! You are plenty feminine! You are the most feminine woman I know!"
Miura glared at me at that.
"…I don't believe you."
Wha- yeah. I don't believe me either. She's not the most feminine woman that I know. That spot already belongs to someone else.
…
But I wasn't lying about her being plenty feminine. I really do think that. I've called her attractive a lot of times by now haven't I?
But how am I gonna get that across to her?
…
"Look Miura, I messed up. What I really meant by manly earlier. I meant that you're bold, brave, courageous, something like that. It was meant to be a compliment really."
"…"
Uhh, she's not budging. Was it not enough? Should I indulge her more?
"I wasn't entirely lying about what I said after though. Miura, you know it yourself. You are feminine enough. Or are you telling me that all those times I called you on how attractive you are just went through your head?"
"…"
Still not budging huh. Welp, I tried. Believe it or not, that's my best effort. If it didn't fix things, then I don't think anything else that I say or do will. I just have to cut my losses for now then.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I really am. Look, I know that you already said yes on being my 'date', but you no longer have to do it. I'll just go ask someo-"
"Okay."
…
Uhhh… what did she mean by that? Did she mean 'Okay. I'm not going anymore'? Or did she mean something else? Due to her impeccable interruption, I can't tell.
…
"Let's go to the mall later."
…okay? That does not clear things up. It could still mean anything. Afterall, we, Miura and I, have already gone to the mall a number of times by now. We don't do it everyday just so you know. And it's not like we go there without reason. Most of the time, it has something to do with us being in the tennis club.
….
"Uhhh, okay? But why are we going to the mall? We just went there a week ago."
"Hm? Isn't it obvious?"
No. It isn't. It really isn't Miura.
"It's for the date of course!"
Ah. Of course. The date.
…
Wait.
For the date. Does that mean that the 'okay' she gave me earlier meant 'Okay. I believe you'? Seems that way. That meant that what I did worked? Uhh, gooda jobu Hachiman-kun?
It poses another question though. What does going to the mall have anything to do with the upcoming double date?
"Why do we have to go to the mall for that?" I asked her.
Miura gave me a look that says 'have you dropped you brain?'. Now I have no idea why she gave me that look. I asked her a decent question. That needs a brain.
"…Hikio, what do people usually do when they usually go to the mall?"
Now it is my turn to give her the same look that she gave me earlier. I mean, she's seriously asking me that? Of all people? Granted that I have basic knowledge of what people usually do in the mall. However, I don't think I'm the best person to ask of that.
…
Whatever. I'll just give her a safe answer.
"They shop."
Miura smiled at that. Does that mean that I got it right? Way to go Hachimanu!
But if that is so, I still don't see why we need to go. What would be shopping for?
"Correct. That's what we'll do. We'll shop for clothes. If I'm going on a date with you, I want you to look decent."
Ah. Of course. That was it. I should have figured.
She doesn't have to bother though. I already a lot of them in my closet. And by them, I meant clothes suitable for dating.
"If that's the case, we don't really have to. I already have decent dating gear at home."
"…I don't believe you."
Oi. That's pretty insulting you know? Is she saying that I don't have even just one pair of nice clothes? Does she think that I'm a hobo? I know that I may not the most fashionable, but I do have pride in my taste of clothes.
…not that that all of my clothes were chosen by me though. She did choose some for me too.
Still though…
"Are you saying that you don't believe in my fashion sense?" I question her in a challenging tone.
"Yes." Instant reply!
No hesitation. This girl really thinks that I don't have sense of fashion. What the hell Miura? I tell you, it's not like I haven't gone to any da…
Ah.
"Really, I have them! I don't want to spend money on something that I already have." I protested. It's a valid reason. Us high schoolers have limited sources of income. Spending it on redundant things is just too impractical. I just hope that Miura thinks the same way too.
"…fine."
Oh. Looks like she does. I guess I'm off the hook then?
"I still don't believe you. So let's go to your house instead then."
…
What do they about situations like this? Out of the fire, into the pan? Or was it the other way around?
"Oh. You really do have them." Miura says as she rummaged through my closet, picking up clothes that she deemed date-worthy.
I, however, quietly sit on my bed, feeling like crying because of how I felt violated. My sacred sanctuary, penetrated by another outsider.
…
I eventually snap out of it though. I mean, it's not like Miura didn't have my permission to enter (unlike a certain fox who just went it… I would have permitted her too if only she asked). And she's here for a reason. Really, no violation of privacy is being committed here. Stay calm Hachiman.
"Most of them are really nice. Did you buy them by yourself?" She asked while sorting out the clothes that she plucked out of my closet.
"Oh. Not all of them. Some I bought with Yukinoshita." I answered half-minded.
…
Wait. Did I just say something that I shouldn't have?
….
"Hey Hikio, I still haven't asked you this before. Feel free to ignore it."
I think that I did.
If I didn't, why would Miura have that look that she has on right now? And why would she ask me something that she hasn't before.. right?
"What was your relationship with Yukinoshita?"
What has really gotten into me today?
Must be infected by the Tobe bug.
Tobe Kakeru Tries His Best – End
[1] I just went 90's there for a moment. An excerpt from the song 'As Long As You Love Me' by the Backstreet Boys
A/N Yo. This fic is not abandoned! Just… delayed I guess?
Apparently, in this universe, W.W. = Zaimokuza… I know I know. It's practically impossible. But hey, I wanted to take a jab on the way overdue 12th volume of the series we all love. So just give me this one okay?
Next Chap will be about the double date. And also snippets on what really was Hachiman and Yukino's relationship in this universe.