Author's note:
Hi everyone! Here's an oddball one shot I wrote for Valentine's Day. One day late but I hope it still counts! It's not especially romantic. Maybe a little? In fact by my standards it's quite dark, but like all my fics it won't have a bad ending. More like a slightly ambiguous but overall still positive ending, promise!
Because this fic's a standalone that's kind of suspended in the middle of a much longer storyline (that I'm not actually going to write, oops!) what you need to know is basically in the story plot that happened before this scene Kylo had kidnapped Rey (modern AU setting) and then dragged her around the country on a pretty psychotic road trip for the next three weeks. Aaaaaannd… there you have it! You're all caught up! I hope you all like it even though it's a little out there :)
All Dressed Up (In Bloodstained Silk)
"Get in and wash up. You reek of blood."
Rey scowled at Kylo. She tried to jerk her arm free from his grip but he held tight, insisting on following her into the bathroom despite that meant they had to awkwardly shuffle sideways in through the door together.
"And whose fault is that, Kylo?" she snipped. "Whose blood am I wearing, Kylo? Which one of us smashed his karking hand through the karking front door like a karking psychopath, Kylo?"
He only grunted in answer. He'd been very short tempered with her this whole damned day, as if anything that had happened this morning or three weeks ago had been her fault in the slightest.
"Does the hot water even work?" she asked. "We don't know how long the owners have been away."
He let her go and situated himself firmly behind her.
"Check it yourself."
When she didn't move, he kicked the door shut behind them and stomped over the the sink. That effectively blocked her intended route of exit so Rey sighed and turned on the bath tap. She flicked her finger at the frigid stream, then her shoulders relaxed as it started to warm up immediately.
She looked back over her shoulder to the sound of a snap and found Kylo bandaging his still bleeding hand with a roll of gauze from the cabinet. Her fingers itched, longing to offer to help him, but when his eyes met her reflection at he bathroom mirror she looked away.
"There are no windows in here, Rey."
Don't get any ideas. That part went unspoken, but she'd heard it often enough to have it practically church bell ring through her memory.
"Kylo, do you really think I'm about to try and escape? Now? We're in the middle of a damned snowstorm. Where do you think I would go?"
His shoulders bounced in a shrug.
"Practicalities and logic haven't stopped you before."
He turned to her and waited. Rey pressed her lips into a firm line and tried to ignore the burden of his stare. She tested the temperature of the water again and made adjustments, setting it to a pleasant level just below scalding. Then she pondered the stopper to the drain before giving up on that thought and turning the dial to the shower head instead.
'You're not going to watch me bathe, are you?" she asked.
"Wouldn't be the first time."
The room started to fill with steam and Rey kicked off her muddy shoes but went no further.
He was right. Obnoxiously. Over these last three weeks since he had abducted her, the high majority of her showers -or occasional stream baths - had taken place under his silent, ever-watchful eye. Rey'd had to get used to that really damned quickly, though it had gotten easier after the first week when her captor stopped handcuffing them together as often.
"Can you turn around at least?" she muttered.
One soggy sock, then the next. Rey kicked them next to her shoes and put her hands on her hips. Kylo was watching her with an expression that made her frown.
"What-"
"Why didn't you go for the bath?" he interrupted. "You told me you liked baths. They made you feel extravagant. You're probably freezing through and through."
Rey pointedly looked her captor up and down before jerking her chin in what she hoped was a dismissive way.
"Aren't you cold?" she asked.
Just to give him a token show of obedience, she unbuttoned her coat. The snow-soaked fabric hung to her limply, feeling as unwelcome against her shoulders as a cold plate of overcooked spaghetti.
"I am."
Similar to her, Kylo's clothes were starting to thaw from the heat of the house. They were dripping melt onto the tiled floor, but he still hadn't made a mood to leave.
Rey waited. He waited. Silence grew, interrupted only by a plip plip of dripping fabric. It was her patience that broke first.
"Oh fuck off Kylo. We've established there's no window in here. What, do you think I'm going to try and fashion some sort of primitive weapon out of the shower hose? Take the lid to the toilet tank and try to club you over the head with it?"
He didn't even blink. He never did. Sometimes Rey would ponder his potential grasp of sarcasm. He took a step forward, crossing his arms over his chest to glare down at her nose to nose.
"Maybe I'm just afraid the owners of this place will come back in the middle of a snowstorm and I'll have to kill them."
That- Those- Those had been her words from earlier. After their car had hit that patch of ice and slid halfway down the hill. After he'd dragged her -literally at times - through the waist deep snowdrifts until they found this mansion. She'd said that right as he'd barked at her to stop bitching and then he smashed his psycho fist through the front door. Psycho style.
Never mind that there had been a stone planter they could have used instead. Because her kidnapper was a psycho, if she hadn't made that clear enough. A psycho who was now throwing her own damned words back at her.
"Jerk," she muttered, though her pulse starting to pick up again the longer he stared at her like he was now.
She flicked up her index finger and spun it in a circle in the air. Then, just for good measure, she turned the shower back on to give him the full message. Not that Rey would have put it past Kylo to just snap and haul her under the water himself to make her behave. Yeah, they'd done that too on… what was it? Day four? Such precious memories.
Finally, mercifully, he relented.
"Toss your wet clothes next to the door and get in. I'll be standing right outside so don't try anything clever. When you're done I'll find you something dry to wear."
He turned and stomped out, though the effectiveness of his temper was somewhat muted by the rude sounding squelches his soggy shoes made against the tiled floor.
Still, when he slammed the door behind him Rey jolted. Kylo's anger was… complicated. Unpredictable. During their three weeks together she'd become quite adept by necessity at predicting his moods.
That's what made her so nervous now. Something about all that had happened since morning. About the way he was acting now put her more on edge than the crash or the breaking in to some random mountain villa She liked to think she knew her kidnapper very well by now, all things considered, and tonight he wasn't acting right.
Best not to test him then. Rey quickly stripped, obediently gathering up all her wet and soggies and placing them in a pile by the door.
She hissed as she stepped under the almost too hot spray. It scalded her pleasantly, forcing an artificial relaxation through her worn out muscles. Her nerves themselves were close to totally shot, but at least she could soothe the outside of herself for having survived this long.
As Rey worked her hair free of her now badly tangled buns, she studied the fog on the bath's glass doors. Maybe she could write a message in them? It wouldn't do her any good now right now, but when the rightful owners of this place- whoever the hell they were- came back and saw it?
Oh kark it. She'd either be dead or two states over by then. Or maybe even more, since Kylo had decided to up the pace of their gallivanting trip through nowhere during this latest week.
Weeks one and two had been her escape weeks. Her attempted escape weeks, crucial add-on. She was past that stage now, and she'd meant what she'd said to Psycho before. They were trapped here for as long as the blizzard held out. Even if she tank-conked her kidnapper and crawled out her proverbial window, all that awaited her was hypothermia and darkness.
The owner's shampoo smelled expensive. Part of her conscience twisted at that, but only a little. These people who owned this chateau were obviously rich as fuck. It was uncomfortable using their house, that's why she'd ultimately chosen a shower over a bath, but Rey didn't mind treating herself just a little on their expense.
As the equally expensive smelling conditioner was left to soak in, Rey took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Allowed herself this one precious moment of Kylo-free peace.
These last three weeks… These last three karking weeks…
Well obviously it had been shit. Sometimes Rey didn't know how she'd made it this far. Three weeks with this volatile kidnapper lunatic hitman.
Oh. Yeah. Rey had left out that last part before. She didn't like to think about Kylo like that. In that way. He didn't talk about it. He'd talked about his boss Snoke, the First Order, whatever sometimes. Not a lot, but enough to make it clear to Rey what the stakes were. Hadn't mattered since she wasn't going to crack for him no matter how he threatened her, but at least Rey knew where she stood.
And how she stood was absolutely powerless. Completely at his mercy. Any moment around Kylo he could make her last. She shouldn't have slept. Not once in all this time. She shouldn't have ever stopped trying to save her own damned life no matter what it took.
Definitely shouldn't have started sassing him. Giving him a hard time. Seeing how far she could push him and being shocked that it turned out to be really damned far. Kylo kind of would let her say anything to him. Call him every dirty name, make wild threats. He didn't get angry at them, though he was always kind of angry in general. Very rarely was it directed specifically at her, and in an odd kidnapper-and-victim way he let her call some pretty surprising shots. What they ate. When they went to bed. Heck, he even would let her decide which side of the bed she wanted or which wrist he cuffed to his own. So he let her have some say in her state.
Other than letting her go. Or even hardly letting her out of his line of sight. Sure, he'd let her push him around, make demands no prisoner or kidnapping victim should assert the right to try, just as long as she never got too much farther than an arm's or two-step sprint's distance. The cuffs had come off on day eight, but with a very clear warning about her behavior: stay in his line of sight. Always. No exceptions.
Rey paused then, her hands slick with her heavily perfumed locks, and she blinked at the handle to the bathroom door as an odd thought struck her.
Kylo had let her do this herself. He wasn't here with her, watching her or watching over at least because, for all his many flaws, he was largely a gentleman. He'd let her close that door and be alone for close to twenty minutes now.
That was unprecedented. A knot immediately started to form in her stomach at the revelation. He had been acting so strange all day. It had started this morning when she'd woken up and he hadn't been laying next to her, waiting for her. No, he'd been looking at his phone, his back to her. And then the storm had come and he'd still insisted on driving though it, demanding she be dragged off to gods knows where since he never bothered telling her why they went any of the places they did.
Kylo was a good driver. That was another facet. Like, he came close to probably being a world class one. She'd seen it herself when her side of this war had tried to rescue her. They'd come- no, they hadn't even come close. Kylo had thrown her into the back of his car and zigged and zagged and disappeared into the night like a pro stuntman right out of a movie.
And then the handcuffs had come back and they'd been bound together for two more days afterwards since apparently he'd gotten all up in his feelings about nearly losing her, but that had been besides the point. The point was that he was too good of a driver to lose control over a patch of ice and crash them in the middle of nowhere.
Rey turned off the shower as a chill raced through her despite the heat of the water. She blinked, swallowed. Something was- this wasn't-
Her clothes were gone. Rey noticed that before she noticed the beaded sparkly fancy looking thing hanging from the hook inside the door. Kylo must have sneaked in here and taken her dirty clothes without her noticing. She had been too wrapped up in her own thoughts and let her guard down, but it wouldn't have mattered because her kidnapper could be pitch silent if he wanted to. That was part of why the initial escape weeks hadn't worked out.
"What in the world are you even thinking?"
She asked it out loud, pondering the shining fabric hanging on the wall. Obviously it was meant for her so, after toweling off, she tip-toed forward to have a look.
It was an… evening dress? A gorgeous, red, slinky evening dress. Baffling.
She held it next to here, frowning as she smoothed her hand over the silken fabric. It was a little big, and it smelled like expensive perfume. But it was a name brand. Like, a fashion name brand. The kind that walks on underfed legs down a runway.
As she slipped into it she shivered. It felt both cold and petal soft against her bare skin. Too fine for the likes of a humble scavenger such as herself, through Rey still couldn't break free from the wide grin she wore as she spun about. Her reflection in the bathroom mirror was a little distorted with steam, and the she opted to go barefoot since high heels Kylo had provided to complete the ensemble were too many sizes too big, but right now she felt special.
It was a fleeting distraction at est. Rey waited to be fetched. Waited patiently inside the door, counting down from sixty until Kylo became alerted by her silence and came in to check on her and make sure she hadn't found an old spoon or something and had dug her way out through the wall.
Also, maybe just maybe, a tiny part of her wanted to see his reaction to her in this.
Except time stretched on. No Kylo. Her smile fell as that feeling of deep unease grew inside her again. The sixth sense telling her that her Psycho was hiding something from her. Whatever the kark good that did her. He could hide her own name from her and there wasn't a thing she could do about it if he so choose.
She held her breath as she turned the doorknob. It opened silently, and Rey hovered visible under the warm amber tinted bathroom lights.
Nothing. No kidnapper. No lunatic hitman watching and waiting like he always karking did.
"Kylo?" she called out, flinching at the sound of her own voice.
The soft carpets tickled her bare feet as she took a step. Another two steps and she turned in a slow circle, inspecting one end of the empty hallway and then the other. Her nerves tightened further, somehow triggered even more by the highly tactile feeling of opulent silk evening gown sliding against her bare skin underneath. Kylo had provided undergarments, but since they belonged to someone else Rey had opted out.
She was getting increasingly worried. No Kylo. No real clothes. He'd taken them and then left her here?
Her footsteps treaded lightly and near silently as she walked down the hallway, guessing which way she should go. Faintly she thought she heard something from this direction. The sound of muffled movement.
A random impulse struck her, causing her heart to stutter a few steps as her hand came to rest at the handle to a set of closed double doors.
What if Kylo had left? Abandoned her?
Or… or perhaps set her free was more accurate? He'd never told her how long he had to break her down and make her spill all her secrets. She hadn't given him anything other than her attitude. He'd definitely gotten plenty of that, mo maybe he-
No.
No no. Kylo, her kidnapper, had all but fused himself to her side. Three weeks of twenty-three hours fifty-five plus minutes every day nonstop.
"Everyone dies alone."
She whispered it almost silently, her lips moving but barely a trace of noise emerging. That's what he had told her their first day. Rey had had a lot on her mind then, but she'd never fully forgotten it.
So she hadn't died. He hadn't left her alone.
Until now.
An audible 'clink' comes from the other side of the doors and Rey stepped back, her hands still poised against the handles.
She should run.
Right?
This was her chance. Kylo was presumably in there. Behind her there had to be some windows somewhere. Open them, shimmy out, fall face first into the deep falling snow drifts, and... run through the frozen night in her silk evening dress until all the toes on her bare feet break off from frostbite.
Yeah, that'll show him. Take that, First Order.
"Knock knock."
She punctuates it by actually knocking. Why, she doesn't know, but that prickly warning feeling deep inside her is getting harder to ignore.
No answer. Or maybe a soft groan. Followed by an odd, hollow wooden noise.
What in the hells?
If everyone dies alone, then the safest place to be is with someone else. Makes… sense. Ish.
Logic fails when applied to the hitman who kidnapped you, but Rey still breathes out an unsteady sigh of relief at seeing him there when she opens the door.
Kylo is all dressed up. Crisp white shirt, black satin tuxedo jacket, matching striped tuxedo pants. Hell, even the white socks and black shoes that give him the look of a 20s gangster. The only thing missing was the bow tie which was currently hanging undone around his neck. None of it quite fits him perfectly, whoever owned this chateau had good taste but a smaller build, but her Psycho still cut a surprisingly dapper shape as he leaned back, limbs sprawled wide across the couch he was waiting for her on.
"Hi," she offered timidly.
Kylo's eyes take the slow and steady up from her feet to the top of her still wet head. She hadn't bothered to try and dry or style her hair, and now she almost wishes she had. He seemed almost as taken aback by her appearance as she did of his.
Then he raised a whiskey bottle in a toast, welcoming her into the room. Rey blinks at him, her stomach continuing in its uneasy flitter-flutter. He brings the bottle to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers as he takes a massive drink. Then he grimaces, leaning his weight onto his elegantly clad knees as he smacks the container down on the low coffee table in front of him and Rey can see just how little was left in it.
"Gods Kylo, did you drink all that just now?"
The bottle -Glengoolie Blue, by the looks of it - was more than half gone. The slightly dull look to her captor's expression told her he was in a similar state.
He nodded and Rey's eyes widened. It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes. He must be-
"You look pretty."
His voice was crisp. Clear. Not slurred. But he was also pretty loaded. Rey could tell that just by knowing him. It made her even more uneasy. Now this really wasn't like him.
When she took a step back he immediately stood. Didn't sway, not at all, but he glared at her as if she had just done something very wrong and hurtful.
"Come here," he ordered. "I've got something to show you."
Rey raised an eyebrow but he simply reached out and took her by the wrist as she started to mount a protest. She let him drag her a few dozen steps across the room before digging her heels in.
'Kylo? What the hell are you doing?'
He had been squeezing her hard. Unnecessarily so, since up until step fifteen she hadn't been trying to wrench herself away yet. He swallowed and didn't answer, but Rey felt that know in her stomach tighten as she saw how his jaw ticked with anger.
"Why must you be so difficult, Rey?"
Difficult? She wasn't-
He jerked her again, making her yelp as he forced her forward. He started dragging her to a different set of double doors across and Rey briefly entertained the notion of clinging to the frame rather than just let him haul her around.
Then the bones in her wrist started to protest from his grip and she gritted out a muffled whimper.
Kylo stopped then. Stopped so suddenly her momentum propelled her right into his back. He turned and Rey blinked, shocked by the expression he was wearing.
He look in pain. Wounded. Gone from randomly pissed off to hurt puppy within the span of a room. Rey's planned words of protest failed her as he picked up her wrist and looked at it. He rotated it from side to side, and his other hand lightly stroked the red marks his fingers had just left on her.
"Don't make me handcuff you, Rey. Just follow me and don't make this harder."
His other hand dropped and Rey's shoulder's slumped as he set the whiskey bottle down on an end table to pull out a pair of aforementioned handcuffs from his well tailored jacket pocket.
"This again?" she whined.
Because, really? This again?
Instead of answering, he looped his fingers around the metal circle of each side and lightly rapped it against the bridge of her nose. Rey snarled, but his expression softened into something else.
"Choice is yours, Rey. Cuffs, or be an adult and walk like a big girl?"
He tapped her nose again and Rey smacked his hand away. Dipshit.
"Fine," she huffed. Pouted and tried to cross her arms.
With a nod he turned and let her go. He opened one of the doors and gestured for her to go in. Then he snatched the bottle of Glengoolie off the table and pressed it against her spine that was exposed by the low back of her dress.
Rey stomped forward, trying her hardest to focus on her irritation and not the more pressing concern of how damned crazy her captor was acting tonight.
Oh.
The doors lead into some sort of… what was this, a solarium? Rey wasn't even sure what the word for this all-glass enclosed space was. Like a sunroom, but a really fancy one.
"Kark these people must be loaded," she muttered.
At the center of the room she stopped walking and Kylo let her. He walked past her, taking another long swig of the expensive stolen beverage as he headed over to a hot tub. Oh no, not just a hot tub. Like a full on, walk in, recessed luxury heated bath. The motors of it weren't turned on, but Rey could see the steam rising steadily from the heated water.
A surge of hesitancy filled her, and she distracted herself by slowly spinning in a circle as she took in the sheer sheerness of the solarium.
Outside of the glass the snow pattered down steadily, illuminated by both the soft amber lights inside with them and the blue security bulbs outlining of the chateau's grounds. The snowflakes would gather in the crevices of the triangular glass roofing panels before sliding off from the heat of the air inside.
"It's like we're in a snow globe," she murmured, temporarily having forgotten her trouble in the light of just how oddly magical this setting was.
"I'm glad you like it. Get in."
Rey turned back to Kylo, a quip about his rude tone dancing on the tip of her tongue, just as he walked down the short line of marble steps into the hot tub. He was fully dressed, still wearing his shoes and tuxedo jacket and everything else as he waded into the thigh-deep bathwater.
"Kylo?"
He was insane. Okay, Rey knew that. Her captor's failing mental principles had made themselves very readily apparent at a much earlier point than this. But even for him striding fully dressed into a stranger's hot tub was a poor development. He waded forward seemingly without a care in the world, and when he sat on what Rey assumed was a submerged bench or ledge and she raised an eyebrow as the heated waters now reached up to mid-chest.
He narrowed his eyes as she gaped at him.
"Rey? Get. In. Now."
So he still sounded angry. Angry as in genuinely pissed off. And with the way his emotions had been swinging like a haunted pendulum Rey reluctantly took a step closer rather than fully defy him.
When she got to the first marble step leading down she hesitated again.
"Last warning."
His voice was low but the danger it held was just as clear as if he'd barked it right into her ear.
"I… I don't want to take my dress off."
Rey touched the tip of her big toe into the water. It was exquisite. Just the right temperature but he couldn't be serious about this, could he?
"And just why not?" he demanded.
Rey met her captor's eyes just as he took another long, painful looking drag at the whiskey bottle. Kark, that thing was close to empty.
"Because I'm not wearing anything under it."
The nudity element wasn't exactly a problem. Again, when you're handcuffed to someone who insists on not letting you out of his sight for any reason no matter how embarrassing, then Rey had pretty much had to get past him seeing her without clothes. And vice versa, though if Kylo had ever felt bashful about changing right in front of her he'd never hinted at it.
Kylo sighed, his fingers thumping hollowly against the glass bottle as his eyes narrowed at her.
"I'd hung a bra and undies there under the dress. You should have put them on."
Rey flushed. She didn't know why, but she did. Maybe it was the word undies. Far too cute for a psycho doing psycho things like all this nonsense right now.
Still, her reason was one she felt was pretty valid.
'Because I don't want to wear someone else's panties."
Kylo seemed to ponder that statement deeply, but then he nodded.
"Well the hot tub dress code is black tie anyhow so get the hell in here," he snapped. "Do not make me get up and haul you over my shoulder because you know I will."
Oh. Yes. Rey knew he would.
There was no point fighting this. Fighting him. And maybe if she complied then Kylo would be less of a miserable grump because sweet crackers what ungodly bug had crawled up his ass today for no reason?
With a sigh she stepped in, having to use both hands to keep that damned expensive as sin dress from floating up all around her legs. She felt as ridiculous as the situation dictated she was.
The bottle of Glengoolie clinked unpleasantly as Kylo placed it on the marble floor around the recessed edge of the hot tub. He slid it closer to her and Rey looked away. She sat down opposite from him but in a spot on the bench that was still obediently within arms reach.
"You're not drinking."
Still no slur to his voice. There was probably only a fifth of the whiskey left. How the hell was Kylo still functioning? Granted, he was acting like a crazy person, but that sinking feeling in Rey's stomach told her that much more than just over consumption was at play here.
Rey shook her head by way of response. The longer she thought about it, the more she just knew something was wrong. The crash that shouldn't have happened. Breaking into some rich couple's freakin' chateau like a lunatic. Wearing their clothes and getting drunk and karking well having a black tie hot tub party?
"What are you doing, Kylo?"
She eyed the pile of towels to the side. They were clumsily placed, so they clearly hadn't been left there by the tub's rightful owners. So Kylo had prepared them for her, meaning that their bathtub splashtime was premediated and not just a spur of the moment Glengoolie Decision. Odd.
Kylo sighed, one of his arms reaching out to flop against the towels when he caught her staring at them.
"What am I doing?' he slowly answered. "That's a good question, Rey. What am I doing? Apparently I'm getting drunk and making you not like me anymore."
His other hand reached for the bottle but stopped when he saw Rey flinch. She watched silently as he inhaled, closing his eyes. Then he slid down, submerging himself completely under the steaming surface.
"Kylo?' she whispered.
He was watching her through the water. Rey mouthed 'what the fuck?' very clearly and he took his time before he came up, tossing his head back and sending a streak of water across the marble floor.
"Did you mean on a more macro scale, Rey? Like what am I doing, big picture?"
Rey really had forgotten her question. She shook her head at him, starting to edge away to make her escape but his hand found her wrist under the water.
"I kidnapped you, held you against your will, and interrogated you. I'm a bad person, Rey. That's the big picture. I'm doing what bad people have to do."
Rey swallowed. His grip held steady and tight.
"Interrogated?' she finally asked. "Is that what we're calling it?"
Oh she had been plenty terrified then. It wasn't like it had been nothing, and that terror had clung strong during their first few days together afterwards. Three weeks like and fear had never fully left their dynamic, but it had receded as their time together wore on.
"My heart wasn't in it," he said with a shrug, letting her go.
Rey scoffed. Gods this man was all kinds of fucked up.
Then a silence fell between them. It wasn't a comfortable one at all. Rey fidgeted, her thumbs thumbing against her lap under the water. Hr dress was too floaty. And the water was suddenly too hot. And Kylo was starting at her like… like Rey didn't even karking know how.
Intensity. He had a great aura of intensity. And he hadn't talked for at least a minute. Just stared. Great.
She wanted to leave. She wanted this whole messed up karker of a day to be over with.
"What is it?" she asked.
She more addressed her own rippling reflection when she couldn't bear the weight of his stare any longer.
Kylo cleared his throat. She didn't look up.
"You look beautiful. I didn't tell you that yet. You look so beautiful and I hope something tonight made you at least a little bit happy too.
He- she-
Rey's gaze flicked up. Kylo looked away then, scratching his chin before dropping his arm back to splash into the water.
If she'd thought that was bad, his next words shocked her even more.
"Do you know how hard it's been for me to take my eyes off you?"
"W-what?"
Because, like seriously, what the hell Kylo? They been together for three weeks. She'd freaking peed in front of him, during one particularly memorable day-long forest exodus. He'd seen her naked so many times but now is when he tries to shoot his shot and hit on her?
"I don't understand," she finally settles on.
Kylo sighs and slumps, letting himself slide lower into the water. The hot tub was shaped roughly like a spyglass and he spread his legs, placing one elegant and soaking wet dress shoe on either side of her shoulders. It effectively pinned her in place just as much as his gaze had, and Rey in turn shot him her dirtiest glare. He didn't so much as blink.
"Can I get out now? I'm getting all prune-y."
That and her dress kept floating up and she was trapped in a hot tub snow globe purgatory with this crazy ass karker.
"No."
Her shoulders slumped.
"Gods, Kylo-"
"I heard from Snoke today."
She'd been starting to edge away then. Starting to ready herself to sprint out and… and lock herself in a closet or something until her tormentor sobered up. But she froze at those words, the temperature in her blood feeling like it suddenly dropped thirty degrees in tandem.
She looked up at Kylo. He was stretched out again, both his arms spread wide against the floor and one hand toying with the pile of towels again. He watched her impassively, clearly waiting for her to speak next.
Snoke was the person responsible for all of this. The one who had ordered Kylo to find her. Apparently he had ordered him to make her talk, and Kylo had never fully denied a 'by whatever means necessary' accusation to his orders.
Rey also knew that Kylo wasn't afraid of anything or anyone but Snoke. Nothing else seemed to phase her kidnapper's cold, iron-wrapped heart other than his very own master. There was something seriously fucked up about their association with each other, but Rey never had the nerve to do more than nudge at the edges of that particular tangled web.
They didn't talk about Snoke. Rey didn't ask questions, not even when Kylo had started dragging her around the country for no apparent reason or explanation.
"I'm not telling you where Luke Skywalker is," she finally said, leaping their conversation forward to its inevitable end. "You'll have to kill me first."
Rey's voice faded off at those last three words. She blinked, looking at Kylo and there she saw it again. Sadness. A deep and profound sadness in his eyes.
"I know."
He said it quietly. Casually, even. That didn't matter. Time seemed to skip itself. Rey froze, falling so still she didn't think her heart was even beating. Realization crisp, clear, and horrific beamed through her.
Snoke had called him. Rey had seen Kylo talking to someone on the phone that morning. He hadn't spoken to her for a long time after that, then he dragged her into that car. Onto that snowy road.
Time stopped skipping itself. Her time was up. That's what it meant.
Rey... bolted. She didn't hesitate, didn't even blink. One moment looked at him, and the next she was in movement.
She was across the hot tub and scrambling on her hands and knees up those ridiculous marble steps when he caught her.
"No!" she screamed.
His hands wrapped around her waist and instinct took over.
Rey screamed. She kicked. She clawed. He was trying to drag her back. Trying to- to drown her? He was a psychopath and she was his prey.
"Rey, please-"
He was so fucking strong but she was slippery. Hell, they both were. Somehow Rey wriggled out of his iron grip. She flopped onto her hands and knees, half in the hot tub and half scrambling, clawing out one step then three at a time. Kylo pulled her again and she fell, clipping her chin against the edge of the tub.
Water filled her lungs as she was submerged. He was holding her. Trying to contain her. Rey only was dimly aware that he was actively trying to get her above the surface of the water, not keep her under it. The animal part of her brain was taking over. The one that told her to fight, fight for your whole fucking life.
Rey flipped over, her limbs and her murderer's all tangled together. Under the surface of the water everything was too distorted, but she aimed and kicked, throwing her full force into colliding her foot with his abdomen.
His pained cry was muffled by the water, but it worked. Kylo let go of his grip on her long enough for her to break free. Break the surface. She slipped again, the stupid long skirt of her evening gown ruining her chances. Kylo's grip wrapped around one wrist but Rey struck him with her free arm. Luckily her right arm. She threw an uppercut right into the underside of his chin and he reared back, recoiling just as Rey's whole arm reverberated with the force of her blow.
One second's head start. That was all that she had.
Rey tossed herself out over the edge. She rolled onto her back then her knees, her feet sliding out from under her as they slipped and slid against the now soaking wet marble tiled floor.
Kylo shouted something behind her. She didn't look back. Onto her feet, two bounding leaps, and then he had her again.
This time they crashed together, Kylo's weight falling against her as they both lost balance. Rey was effectively body slammed into the floor, but she kept fighting. Kept kicking or blindly throwing her hands behind her.
"Stop!"
She didn't. Fuck no she didn't. She wriggled, screaming again as she tried to get out from underneath him. She almost did, almost bucked him off, but then Kylo grabbed the back edge of her dress. He violently jerked upwards, half tearing the fabric but pulling Rey's upper body off the floor enough that he could flip her over.
Then he sat on her, holding her down by each of her wrists. His eyes were wide, his soaking wet hair tangled and dripping down into her eyes.
"Rey."
"Get the fuck off me!"
The sheer rawness of her voice seemed to take him back. Hell, it surprised even herself. Rey twisted and kicked, defending herself the only way she had left. Her teeth sunk into his wrist next to her head.
Kylo grunted. That was all. He snatched at her jaw, walking her fingers in between the rows of her teeth.
"Rey."
She whimpered when her mouth was dragged open and she was forced to release. He looked eerily calm as she thrashed underneath him, but even through her tear-streaked vision she could still see how his eyebrows were pulled together into a tight line.
"Let me go!" she screamed.
He shook his head.
"I can't do that. I have my orders. I've kept them for too long."
Rey reeled sideways, trying to bite him again. Kylo simply shifted his weight higher up on her sternum and spread her arms wide, pinning her in a more effective crucifix.
"It won't hurt, Rey. I promise you it won't."
She howled again, the last threads of her willpower breaking. Rey kicked her feet under him, her arms thrashing uselessly against his grip. All she succeeded was in exhausting herself, the weight of him soon becoming oppressively heavy.
"Rey, please..."
He waited her out. Waited until she could hardly breathe from the downward pressure of him and her own aching lungs. When all else failed she tried to scream for help despite knowing they were well and truly alone out here. All that came out was a stuttering cry followed by wracking coughs.
"I was given three days," he told her, though Rey barely heard him. "Snoke gave me three days when I first had you. I gave you three more weeks of life. I wish I could have done more for you."
His voice was so quiet. So apologetic.
Rey started sobbing. Or trying to sob. Her body shook in spasms, her strength utterly failing against the sheer power of her captor.
He let go of one of her wrists and Rey flinched as he stroked her sweat and tear soaked face.
"I'm so sorry," he told her. "I did everything I could."
Her breaths were jagged but she saw it. Saw that fucking bottle of booze. In their fight they must have knocked it over, and she could almost reach it. Didn't dare look at even if in her peripheral vision because it literally was the last only chance she had.
"Bull-fucking-shit Kylo," she croaked, desperate to buy herself time as her arm stretched imperceptibly out. "You could have killed me at any fucking time, so why now?"
It would have been so pathetically easy for him, but now he was making it look hard.
"Because Snoke told me to."
Cut. Dry. That simple. Another sob wracked through her and Rey tried to hide how her fingers were reaching with the shake in er body.
"Do you always do what fucking Snoke tells you to?" she spat. Felt the smooth edge of glass. "You make it sound like you have no choice!"
"I can't disobey him."
He leaned down, first swiping at a fresh line of tears from her cheek. Then he pressed his forehead next to her own and closed his eyes. Rey could feel him steeling himself. Feel how the muscles in his massive body were tightening to… maybe strange her or break her neck. She didn't know what he was planning on doing, but it didn't fucking matter because her hand had just wrapped around the neck of the bottle.
Laying down like this meant that momentum wasn't on her side, but Rey still hit him with every single bit of force she could master. She slammed the bottle against the side of his head, cracking it as hard against him as possibly could.
The bottle didn't break and she felt pain shoot along her own hand from the impact. But in that instant it was enough. His grip on her other hand loosened and she shoved. Kylo blinked, momentarily stunned, and she got her feet out from under him. Kicked against his shoulders then rolled free from the little bit of space she had bought herself.
On her feet, unsteady, Rey sprinted but too slow. He caught the bottom hem of her dress and she tripped, falling face forward. Somehow she managed to turn that force into a spin, swinging the whiskey bottle into an arc right into his temple.
This time the bottle shattered and he fell onto his knees, blood pissing out from the wound on his head. Rey screamed, ran, only to stupidly slip on the pool he'd spray when he'd come up from under the water.
"NO!"
She screamed as his greater reach and faster speed caught up with her again.
He grabbed her by the ankle, flipping her onto her back. She kicked, but he simply grunted and caught her other leg too. A little unsteadily but methodically he dragged her backwards, hauling her on her back to the other side of the room.
Rey's cries echoed against the glass walls. Petrified, feral, almost inhuman sounding screeches. An animal at it's last gasp but there was nothing she could grab. Nothing she could hang on to.
"It's okay, Rey. I've got you."
The karker had the nerve to not even sound angry. He still sounded upset. Was trying too soothe her.
"FUCK YOU!"
She kicked, flailed, tried to twist herself over in his grasp. He dragged her effortlessly, as if the streaming bloody gash on his had hadn't effected him at all. When he reached the pile of towels he started to kneel over her.
Immediately she tried to knee him in the groin. Kylo must have been expecting that because he catches her knee and pulls it straight. Then quickly- faster than Rey could track in her dismantled state- he holds her down with one hand splayed flat against er chest and his other sinks into the pile of towels he'd set out earlier.
Rey's next scream dies in her throat when he presses the end of the gun against her temple. Time stops. She falls still, sheer blind panic paralyzing her. All she can do is blink up at him, her wide and fear immobile.
"I'm sorry," he repeats, his voice unsteady.
He pressed the cold ring of metal a little more firmly and Rey starts to gasp as her body convulses with choked breath. This was a very different sort of fear. The kind that stopped rather than propelled.
"Please."
She can barely speak at all. Kylo's face falls and she feels for the first time an unsteady shake coming from him as well.
"I- I don't want this."
There's a lift at the end of his voice, almost as if he was asking himself a question. Numbly Rey reaches out and grips his wrist, but he holds his grip on the weapon firmly. He's just as still as she is and suddenly there's no fight in her left. It feels like there's no more oxygen in the room. She's simply laying here, suspended somewhere in between while she waits hopelessly for the inevitable.
"I-"
Kylo blinks, a jolt seeming to roll through him.
"I don't know if I can do this," he whispers, his voice nearly lost to the vacuum in Rey's mind. "I have to. But I don't know if I can."
He's not speaking to her. Through her maybe. His eyes become slightly unfocused. Rey forgets to breathe as she watches the battle of her life play out right in front of her. She's a helpless spectator to her own fate, but she still holds onto his wrist with one hand while the other falls uselessly to her side.
"You don't have to."
It's all she can say, but Kylo immediately shook his head. She didn't know if he heard her. The barrel of the gun shakes harder, rattling against the bones of her skull.
Then a thick droplet of his blood from the still streaming wound on his head splatters against her cheek. Rey flinches from it and Kylo's eyes widen.
"Oh."
His grabs a towel and he immediately wipes it off her, frowning against the red stain on white as if it greatly offended him.
Hesitantly Rey lets go of his wrist, every part of her attention focused on the horrific weight of cold steel resting against her skull.
"Let me," she whispered.
She reached up and pinched the edge of the stained towel. Another searing drop of blood falls onto her, landing on the bottom of her right cheek. Kylo makes a strange noise as she pulls the hand towel out of his grip.
Lightly she dabs at his wound, the one that she gave him. Too numb to think, but part of her wants to do this anyhow. Show him this one little act of kindness.
Kylo's eyes widen, and a shiver rolls through him as she pats at his broken skin.
"Rey," he whispered.
There's a shake to his breath now, the gun at her temple chattering along with her own shattered nerves. When she's finished she drops the towel, letting it land against her chest as her hand falls to the side.
Kylo stares at it, eyes wide. Then he snatches it off her, stroking it once over the patch of blood on her cheek before throwing the whole thing away.
He pulls away, leaning back. Rey's heart skips itself when the feels the metal against her head move away.
"I don't think..."
Kylo rocks back on his heels, his weight pressing uncomfortably against her stomach. Rey watches mute and stunned as he turns the gun over in his hand.
"You don't have to," she forces herself to say. To repeat to him. Maybe she's getting through to him. Maybe whatever voice is in his head isn't the one she thinks it is.
Kylo's frown deepens. His brows are pulled so tightly together they form almost a single line, but it's the understated tremble to his bottom lip that Rey focuses her attention on.
"I meant it. You don't have to," she repeats, her voice a little more insistent. "Whatever- whatever Snoke has on you, it's not enough. You don't want to do this, do you?"
Hesitation, ever so slowly, her hand reaches up again. She lightly skims Kylo's wrist but he shakes his head and she pulls back.
"He's going to make me take you from me," he answers. "I'm not strong enough to stop him."
The way he phrases it makes it sound like he has no will in this, but Rey can see how she's reaching him.
"Don't. Say no. Are you really going to punish me because you're so weak?"
His eyes snap up from the gun to meet her own. His are the same color as that whiskey bottle she'd struck him with, but now they're rimmed with red around the edges. He's shaking, too, almost as badly as she is.
Kark, is he really about to lose it completely? What would that mean for her?
She waited. He swallowed, but his eyes never left hers. All around them the snow fell, pattering against the warm glass of the ceiling, but that and their rasping breaths were the only sounds that filled the space between them.
Then something changed in his eyes and Rey knew the exact moment he lost the fight with himself.
Her scream was aborted as he descended on her, fear suddenly a supernovae shocking through her, but it wasn't a bullet to the brain that came next. He wrapped his arms around her, dragging up to half sitting as he crushed her into his embrace.
He growled as he held her. Karking growled. Feral like the lunatic he so clearly was. Rey couldn't breathe, not just from the sheer shock, but also with just how hard he was squeezing her. Crushing her too him like she was literally the one thing holding him to the rest of the world.
"Kylo, please.'
She wheezed it in his ear. She felt several of her vertebrae protest to the iron pressure bearing down on them. He buried his face against her throat, more of his blood smearing across her skin as he started to shake.
"I can't," he breather. "I can't fucking do it. Not to you."
He was barely understandable. That at least that's what Rey thought he had said, but she wasn't sure. Out of instinct she tried to wriggle, tried to give herself even a breath's space of breathing room, but then her rips were prodded by unrelenting metal. The gun was still there, fallen but trapped somewhere in between their two bodies, and how fucked up would it be if it went off now by accident? Which one of them would it get? Both?
"Fuuuuuuck," he whined, curling himself around her.
His back bent and his hands clawed, pulling randomly at her flesh. Rey sucked in a breath when she could, her eyes burning at the miserable metallic small of his blood on her skin.
"It's okay," she whispered.
It was impossible to pick the correct thing to say to stop this, but mindless platitudes seemed her best bet. Kylo was panting, making the craziest noises, and holding onto harder with each thundering beat of her heart. Part of her in a twisted way felt that this was inevitable. In their short time together she'd seen the cracks that seemed to cut so deeply they might as well have gone clean through him. The alcohol couldn't be helping, nor his steady head wound, or any of the other shit that had happened that day. It all came together into this. Into Kylo just fucking losing it on her.
So she just let him hold her. Didn't try to fight him because that had gotten her nothing. Kylo murmured something to her, but it was muffled by her shoulder. His fingernails were leaving welts in her back, but a part of her seemed to share his ache. Hurt in a twisted sympathy to the pain he was being torn to pieces over.
She tried to slide a hand between their bodies. Careful. Tried to find the safest part of the gun to grab so she could remove it.
Kylo's hand caught her own as she wrapped it around the handle. He pulled it out from between them, pressing it and her hand flat against the floor as his tremors finally began to subside.
"I can't kill you Rey."
He said it with such an air of finality. For him, it might well have been exactly that. His failure meant his own death sentence, and maybe in his mind it was both of their.
She couldn't bring herself to look for a lie in his eyes, but his lips her swollen. Flushed like a kiss but she knew it was from grinding himself into her skin.
"Then don't," she offered.
He nodded, his other hand dropping from its strangle hold around her to stroke her cheek. Smear more of his blood off her. Rey slumped back, shakily supporting herself with one hand as he stubbornly refused to let go of holding her other.
"Rey," he whispered. "I'm really in trouble."
It took her a moment to realize what he was saying. Understand that he was asking her for help.
She opened and closed her jaw, trying to find any words at all.
"We… we can run," she offered weakly. "from Snoke. Run and hide."
His palm stopped moving to press against her cheek.
"He'll find us. He'll find me, and then he'll… It would be better if I could kill you. I'd do it in an instant. You wouldn't be in pain at all."
His words made her sick to her stomach. Bile rose up in her throat and Rey fought hard to swallow it down.
"But I can't," he repeated. "I… I can't."
The faintest hint of a smile crossed his lips and Rey's heart plummeted as he seemed to make up his mind on something. He started to pull away, sliding the gun out from under her hand to hold it up again.
Rey recoiled as he looked at it, the sinking feeling in her stomach turning into something new. What he'd said before about how Snoke could-
"It's going to be alright, Rey. I'm going make this right."
He flipped the gun over one more time, rotating it and opening up the clip to inspect it. Rey's heart began to pound, feeling like it was about to beat out of her chest as the dawning horror of what he was thinking about doing crashed over her.
"Kylo," she reached out. "No."
She spoke it like an order. Said so firecly that he paused, his hand holding the gun floating suspended midway from where he had been looking at to its its intended path.
Don't. You fucking dare.
"Kylo, stop."
A curtain seemed to fall around them. Tunnel vision and all Rey could think of was nothing.
Then a single impulse dawned, breaking through the static of her mind.
"Let me do it," she told him. "Give that to me and let me do it."
Kylo didn't move. He stared. Didn't answer.
"Kylo," she sharpened her voice, "give me that gun. It's only fair."
Her hand jerked out, palm up but visibly shaking.
"Fair," he repeated.
It was. He had terrified her. Traumatized her still and forever more. Let him think that way. Her kidnapper held a sense of honor and justice, albeit one corrupted nearly beyond recognition.
She nodded.
Rey didn't breathe. Didn't let their eye contact waver at all. Only when she felt the cold, awful weight of the metal rest on her palm did she look down.
Holding this thing felt so hideous. So utterly wrong. She recoiled, forcing herself unwillingly to wrap her palm around the handle.
"Do you want me to show you how to do it clean, or do you want to make me suffer? That would be fair. I wouldn't be angry."
It was an actual question. He was karking asking her that as an actual question.
She could still feel the heat of his hand from where he'd been holding it.
"I don't know if I can do this with your eyes open."
He frowned then. Looked at her, his eyes tracing every line of her face before he nodded and closed them.
Rey assumed there wasn't a safety on it. Her choices were either the pile of towels or the hot tub, but the towels were too close.
Rey fired rapidly, discharging all six of the bullets into the deep side of the hot tub within the span of two seconds. Even when it stopped and the gun started clicking she just kept on pressing the trigger.
Kylo didn't move. He watched her, his mouth slowly falling slack.
She hurled the empty gun, throwing it will all her might against the wall. The glass didn't so much as chip.
"You're a psychopath," she spat, "genuinely, clinically insane."
She collapsed onto her knees, her body bending over itself as she knelt before him.
Kylo shifted closer. She didn't see him, but he stopped himself when he was near enough that she could feel his bodyheat against her still wet skin.
"You didn't know that before?" he asked.
Tears started to burn in her throat she accepted his hand on her shoulder. He didn't try to pull her up, but rather lightly rested it there.
Finally Rey gave in. She fell to the side, resting her head against her tormentor's knee as she quietly sobbed. Very hesitantly he began to stroke her hair, his movements every bit as delicate and uncertain as hers had been only minutes before.
"What happens now?" she muttered.
She wiped her snotty nose on her palm first then on the fabric of his expensive tuxedo pants because why the hell not? It had been that kind of evening.
"Now I'll hold them off for as long as I can. Give you a head start."
Rey pulled back to look at him, and Kylo was staring blankly at snow covered ceiling above their heads. He addressed their reflections in the glass.
"I have some money I can give you.. It should help."
"Kylo-"
"You should call the police," he continued, paying the real her no attention, "they'll arrest me and that will buy you more time. Snoke will get me out but maybe it will be long enough for you."
Rey drew herself back. Kylo frowned, his fingers swiping at what she assumed was the remnants of his blood on her cheek.
"What will happen when he has you?" she asked.
He shrugged. Tried to guide her head back to resting on his chest but relented when she started to pull away.
"He'll kill me. Eventually. Don't worry about it."
How could he just say it like that? Like it was nothing? Rey started to protest, started to say something just for the sake of having spoken. He caught her hand though and stopped her in her tracks with a press of his lips to her knuckles.
"Do you know that I've never spent this much time with someone since I was a child? It was so long ago. I hardly even remembered what it was like to be around someone until I met you."
He flipped her hand over to study her palm. Rey hung her arm limply in his grip.
"Or..." she started but didn't know how to finish.
Unsurprisingly Kylo didn't miss a beat.
"Rey?"
"I don't know."
He kept one hand in her hair, twining it in soft circles, and his other wrapped itself softly around her shoulders. He tried to pull her up and Rey went limp, not helping him at all. It brought her into an awkward sort of embrace where she was half wallowing in his lap, half suspended in her arms.
"I hate you," she muttered.
He made a soft sound in his chest right next to her ear.
"That's understandable."
"You want me to ask you to come with me. Voluntarily, this time."
The circles stopped but his hand remained.
"I can protect you. I don't know for how long. When Snoke finds us, he'll kill us both."
Rey sighed and closed her eyes and made a wish. When she opened them it hadn't come true. Typical.
"Snoke almost did kill us," she reminded him. "We got through that."
A moment of silent stretched. Rey could hear his heartbeat next to her ear. It was steady and damnably reassuring. Then he hummed against the top of her head, making all the little hairs along her arm stand up as she gritted her teeth against that sound.
"Maybe."
It was all he said but his hand on her shoulder dropped, picking up her wrist. He turned it to look at the the marks on it. Angry red welt that would later become bruises. He'd put them there himself and she heard him swallow before he spoke again.
"You can't trust me."
She snorted. It was a completely humorless sound, but right now any emotion other than grief and fear seemed so impossible.
"Yeah, no shit."
"I can't trust myself either, Rey."
He let go of her wrist and his hand dropped to his pocket.
"Is the offer to kill you still on the table?" she asked.
"It is."
Again, he didn't even hesitate. Rey didn't doubt he meant that, twisted in every way as it was.
"I want to get out of here," she told him.
He nodded and she rested her head back against him, waiting for one of them to find the strength to stand up first. Thanks to the blizzard they were trapped here tonight, but now she just wanted to get out of this room. She couldn't think here. Too many horrible emotions stacked on top of each other in a span of minutes.
"Together?" he asked.
"For now."
He started to shift and Rey rag-dolled on top of him. Let him carry her, after the hell he's just put here through.
Surprisingly, he brought them both to their feet then stopped moving.
"You know that if you let me leave here with you, Rey, I'm not letting you go, right?"
He rested his forehead against hers and breathed her in. Rey half wanted to make a wisecrack that it felt like he was imprinting himself onto her but she held back because that might have been exactly what he was doing. Karking Psycho, he was. Wouldn't put it past him for a moment.
"Yeah, Kylo, I've kind of gotten that impression."
She finally pushed away and took one unsteady step towards the door before the cold metal looped around her wrist. Click.
Rey froze, glaring straight ahead. Her mind was too obliterated to accept that he had just done that. Second click.
"Kylo."
She jerked her hand up, glaring at the truth. His handcuffed wrist followed along with her movement.
"I warned you."
There it was. There was the horrible truth of it. Kylo even sounded slightly pleased with himself, though she suspected he was trying to hide that from her.
"Kylo. Take this off."
We're not going through this again. Not going back to square one, week one, a clean slate. They don't get a clean slate together. Not anymore.
"I don't have the key."
...
Right. She must have misheard him.
"Where is it?"
She wasn't going to look at him. He probably wanted her to look at him, but she wasn't going to give him that. He didn't get anything he wanted now.
His wrist dropped, jerking hers down with it.
"In the car that crashed."
Rey closed her eyes. She felt the air move as he stepped closer. He didn't try to touch her, though. Rey heard ringing in her ears and she swallowed, bitterly regretting so many things but especially that she hadn't hit him with that karking bottle of Glengoolie even harder.
Then she stomped forward, dragging her captor around for a change. Kylo didn't say another word to her until the next morning.
Author's Note:
Written in haste but with love. I really had fun with this one for some strange reason. I hope you all liked it too! :D