Watching Football

"Where is your new girlfriend?"

The question was out of context of the current discussion. But as five pairs of eyes focused on Penn it became quite obvious that nobody minded. Nobody but him. "I'm not sure whom you're talking about."

"I was told, you have a new girlfriend. So, where is she?" Julie took a sip so small from her white wine that it qualified as symbolic at the very most.

"I don't have a girlfriend." Penn frowned. "Who told you otherwise?"

Julie looked genuinely confused. "Shannon told me that Mike told her about that girl."

While Penn and Julie looked at each other, the heads of the other four women turned back and forth between them. It was almost like a tennis match.

"Which girl?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out."

"But, there is no girl."

"How come Mike saw you with her."

That was when Penn broke eye contact. He looked the room over to check for either Mike or his girlfriend Shannon but neither was present. "I have no idea who Mike saw and what gave him the impression that she was my girlfriend." He had half of a mind to call him.

"She came out of your door when he came over to visit you for… whatever you two watched."

"I had nobody over." Penn felt really confused. What had he and Mike watched anyway?

"Shannon told me, Mike told her, she was super tall and had really tomboyish hair."

That information did the trick. They had watched basketball and Mike must have run into a certain neighbor after she had fixed his sound system. There wasn't really a reason for it but somehow Penn didn't feel like talking about Shelly. Therefore he said, "When Mike first told me about Shannon. He described her hair as follows – and I quote – 'She is blonde.' Nothing more. And now you're telling me, he used the word 'tomboyish'?"

Julie blinked a few times. "Those were probably Shannon's words."

"Yeah, probably," Penn said and looked pointedly at his empty beer.

He was in the process of turning away to get himself a new one when Nicole handed him another beer.

Julie smirked. "So what's her name?"

He could have tried to play dumb for a little longer but with his beer-escape-plan ruined and the coin being tossed he was running out of time. The game was finally about to start. Accepting defeat, he said, "Mike probably saw my neighbor."

"Your neighbor?" Julie's head turned left and right like she meant to look through the walls and search for the woman in question. "You could have invited her over."

"I doubt that she would have been grateful for that invitation." Penn watched sourly as the special teams got in position on the TV screen.

"How do you want to know? Maybe she would have enjoyed meeting us."

Penn doubted that Shelly would have enjoyed being poked for information by Julie but he was not about to tell her about that. Instead, he said, "Her dad was a football coach. They watched all the games on TV. And naturally, she watched all of his games live. She never enjoyed them. I doubt that sentiment has changed since her dad passed away."

Julie exchanged meaningful looks with the other girls. Penn had no idea what they meant. But he instantly decided that he didn't want to find out and therefore retreated somewhat abruptly to his couch to watch the game. His male friends cast a protective shield over him because any interruption of the commentary was most definitely unwanted.

He stayed seated and only left his spot in short breaks to refill the chips bowl and fetch other munchies.

Half time was almost over when it happened. People were reclaiming their seats...

Knock, knock, knock, "Penn!"

He heard Shelly even over the TV and the noise of people speaking over each other.

Knock, knock, knock, "Penn!"

Her second repetition garnered some attention.

Knock, knock, knock, "Penn!"

When Penn left his armchair for the door. He was aware that most eyes were on his back. He stood in the middle of the doorway to shield Shelly from the multitude of curious glances. "Hey, sweetie."

"I need you to open this jar for me," Shelly announced and unceremoniously pushed a container at him.

Penn looked at said jar. The label read gherkins. "You've come over because you want me to open these? Seriously?"

"Yes, I'm serious," Shelly huffed, "I can assure you that I asked Leonard to open this for me. It was after all the most uncomplicated and the most time-saving course of action for this issue. However, me standing here and tells as much about his physical prowess as the still sealed jar."

In hindsight, Penn knew he should not have asked. He grabbed the jar and moments later the distinct sound of a vacuum being undone announced that the jar was now open. "There you go."

"Thank you." Shelly accepted the glass and turned to return to her apartment.

There was no need for Penn to look over his shoulder. When he dared to glance back nonetheless he saw all females in the room looking at him. He had to ask. They would not understand that his neighbor had not been trying to invite herself to his party. They did not know her like him.

When he finally called after Shelly it was almost too late. Her hand was already on the door handle. "Hey, we're watching the game. Want to join us?"

Shelly turned around. "Why did you have to ask me? Social protocol now dictates that I have to come over if I don't want to embarrass you."

"Well, I can hardly not invite you when you come over while I'm having a party."

Penn knew his counter was good when Shelly did not talk back but responded with a suffering look, "Fine, I'll participate in your social activity."

She pulled her door close then marched past him and into his apartment. She took one look at the guys stuffed onto the couch and another one at the girls. The guys were focused on the screen in front of him while the girls eyed her curiously.

She went straight for the couch and told Bill, "That's my spot."

"Your spot?" The tall guy blinked in confusion.

"I always sit there," Shelly stated.

Bill looked slowly left and right. There were no other spots in front of the TV.

Before he could come to the conclusion that he didn't want to stand up, Penn intervened, "You can sit in my armchair."

That it was the more comfortable seat was probably the only reason Bill stood up.

However, Shelly did not sit down. Instead, she went over to the kitchen area and put her gherkins away. Then, she opened two other cupboards. Upon her return to the couch, Shelly brought a wet cloth and several coasters. Penn had no idea where either came from.

"Lift your glasses and bottles!" She ordered.

The guys obeyed out of reflex – even Bill.

Shelly wiped the table and placed the coasters. Once she was done, she sat down and took a look at the screen. "Which quarter?"

"Third," grunted Bill.

"Just started," added Dan from next to her.

The girls who had been watching Shelly broke their silence almost like someone had given them a secret command. Their chatting resumed with renewed vigor.

Penn felt a little bit awkward after ceding his own place. But he also thought it was a really bad idea to leave Shelly on her own. Plus, he didn't dare go anywhere near the girls when they were like this. Therefore, he sat on the armrest of his couch.

Shelly looked sharply at him.

"What? I'm not even touching you."

Shelly frowned but surprisingly said nothing. Luckily the short commercial break ended and her attention was drawn back to the TV.

After a few minutes, Penn told the guys, "Shelly's dad was a football coach." Directed at her he asked, "What would he have said about the game?"

Shelly looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she announced in her prim science voice, "First of all, he would have said," She took a breath and somehow managed to turn her voice at least one octave deeper for her next words which she slurred in a heavy Texan accent, "The 'Boys would wipe the floor with these wannabes."

The change was so surprising the guys on the couch stared open-mouthed at her. Meanwhile, the girls in the background giggled hard.

For some reason, Shelly remained in the tone that was probably imitating her dad. "Both coaches should be replaced with someone who actually knows what he's doing. Just look at them," She demanded while gesturing sharply at the TV. "Is one of them actually using his head for something other than carrying his ball cap? A toddler could do a better job! You don't run a nickel defense against a single set back. And you don't use a single set back against a nickel defense either."

Shelly had a founded game analysis and a scathing comment whenever anyone asked her about the game. She was actually so entertaining that the girls etched closer to the couch to listen in. However, Penn was glad they were only watching for fun and not because they were fans of either team because he knew Shelly would not have held back.

The third quarter had barely ended when Penn was asked, "Is it socially acceptable if I take my leave now?"

"Sure." He shrugged his shoulders. "Whenever you want to."

Shelly stood up abruptly and announced to the room, "That was diverting. Now, I've got work to do. Excuse me." She fetched her gherkins and was out of the door before anyone could come up with a reply.

A/N: As requested by The_Otter_Knight.