Chapter THIRTEEN
Workout plan - for Kairi and Sora cause let's be real we lazy af and need to keep ourselves accountable
- Monday: core workout aiming for dem abs ic just dealing with this food baby
- Tuesday: rest day seriously? OK fine interval or progressive, depending on my mood
- Wednesday: rest day seriously? we have team training Wednesdays after school. coach makes us run suicides okk I'll give you that
- Thursday: STAIRS where the heck are we gonna do that the apartment building a few blocks away that building's 10 stories tall
- Friday: fartlek aka I pwn Sora is that a challenge? please I don't consider you a challenge
- Saturday: tempo runs. can we meet at 10? lazy. I'll take it you mean both of us
- Sunday: REST DAY IT'S SUNDAY YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM ME yeah rest day
are we really gonna do this?
you're backing out already?
PLEASE I'm just making sure you're mentally prepared
ready when you are
alright let's do this
"You totally slacked off towards the end."
"What?" I scoff, rolling my eyes. "If anything, you were slowing down!"
"Of course I was! That was my cool-down lap!"
"You totally skimped on mileage then! There's no way you could've run 4 miles in less than 30 minutes!"
"Please, Kairi, just cause you can't - "
"I can't yet!"
" - doesn't mean I can't."
"You liar!"
"Hey, you don't have any proof!"
"Well, Sora, you can lie to everyone else but you can't lie to yourself!"
I take another sip of my coffee and pause in the hallway. "I just realized...did you put something in my drink?"
"Huh? No, I got your usual."
"Usual?" I stick out my hand with the drink towards him. "There's nothing usual about this coffee."
"What? You always get a medium iced latte."
"Yeah, but something tastes funny. You try it!"
Sora takes a sip. "Tastes fine to me," he says and then makes a face. "On second thought, too milky."
"No duh, it's a latte! I'm not talking about that. There's something weird about this drink," I repeat, holding it up to observe from every angle possible. "Just tell me, Sora, before I figure it out myself."
"Oh, I remember! They were still restocking and I didn't want to wait for them to get the whole milk so I got you a soy latte," he says, picking up his pace again.
"Eww!" I exclaim, following after him. "Why'd you get me a soy latte?" We enter homeroom together, smoothly making our way to our seats.
"Cause, I just said...they ran out of whole milk? Plus, there's a whole lot of benefits to soy milk. Just ask Naminé," he says, turning towards her. "Good morning, Naminé."
"Good morning, Sora," Naminé mimics with a smile. "Ask me what?"
"The benefits of soy milk," he says, gesturing towards her. "I know you always substitute normal milk with soy."
"Oh, for me it's just texture. It tastes smoother."
"It tastes weird to me," I interrupt. "Stick with whole milk next time, will you? I'm not paying for this."
"Sure, like you haven't paid me for about half the drinks so far…"
"Hey, that one time basically half the drink was ice! And another time all the ice melted by the time I got to drink it. Then one time you - "
"Okay, okay, sure, just pay me when I bring the perfect drink. You're welcome for picking up your coffee first thing in the morning."
"Who told my favorite coffee shop to be closer to your place?" I smile, patting Sora on the head.
"I'm not a dog, Kairi."
"No. You're more like a servant."
"Oh, so at least I'm human."
"You're welcome."
I roll my eyes and take my seat as Sora heads off towards his. And I have to catch myself - why am I smiling ridiculously after spending the wee hours of the morning with him? I mean, I guess I should give him some credit: he's pretty good at encouragements when I'm dying on the track, and he can be kinda sorta funny sometimes.
Just sometimes.
"You're always early these days," Naminé comments, drawing her arms together. "Actually, I think you were earlier than me once!"
"That's cause you're slacking off!" I tease, taking another sip of my latte. Though the soy milk is throwing me off a little, it's not entirely bad per se. I'm a fake coffee enthusiast - as long as I get my caffeine one way or another, I'll be happy.
"And you always come in with Sora..." Naminé adds perceptively. I really hope I just imagined all the nuances in her words and she actually spoke quite monotonously.
"Huh? Oh, right, did I tell you? I'm dragging his lazy ass out of bed in the mornings for conditioning."
Naminé levels a stare at me, so I take back my words.
"Okay, so he's dragging my lazy ass out of bed. He says he needs to condition anyways, and it's easier to train with someone else, so it all works out."
"Okay…" Naminé says, clearly unconvinced. But I just repeated what Sora told me! "I never thought I'd see the day Kairi O'Hara voluntarily spend time with Sora Hikari."
Oh, I see where she's going with this. "Don't tease me!" I exclaim, whacking her playfully while Naminé giggles.
"What'd you say last time...oh, 'why's he here?'" Naminé mimics in a high-pitched voice that does not resemble mine. "I was so worried you two were gonna actually fight in the mall!"
"You're exaggerating. Sora and I...we're - we're cool now." It's a little weird realizing how different things are now and a few months ago.
"So you like him?" Naminé asks.
I whirl towards her with wide eyes. "Wha - what are you saying? Don't even think that!"
"C'mon, Kairi!" Naminé laughs. "You sure you don't like him? I mean, you wake up early in the morning just to see him."
"No, Naminé," I correct sternly, "we're just at the same place at the same time." Okay, that sounds a little apathetic. "He's helping me out cause I have another meet coming up."
"Okay, whatever you say...oh, that's right, I forgot to ask how the last meet went!"
Err…
I didn't realize I've been keeping all these things about Sora a secret from Naminé - I swear not on purpose. I just - the topic of Sora doesn't naturally come up between us, so I never get around to telling her the whole story. It's not like I'm intentionally keeping things from her.
"Yeah, so…" I begin, drawing a deep breath, but then as if on cue, our homeroom teacher yells at us to quiet down so he can take attendance. Phew, dodged one there!
What exactly am I dodging? Why am I making such a big deal out of this?
It's easy to push these thoughts to the back of my mind with the hustle-bustle of the day. As usual, I fall back on my mantra in life:
Don't overthink things.
"...and you still owe me ice cream."
"What? You can't just make stuff up, Tidus." I roll my eyes, though I should already be used to his shameless behavior by now.
"What? You don't remember that time I bought you ice cream? It was like 2 weeks ago!"
I'm about to outright deny anything and everything when his words prompt an inkling of a memory. Okay, so maybe I do sorta kinda remember that happening. But…!
"Hey, I drove you to and back from school for three days! That gas money is more than enough to buy 3 ice creams!"
"Wow, Kairi, I thought you did it out of the kindness of your heart."
"Ditto, man."
"Okay, fine. Don't you have anything better to do right now?"
I sigh, eyes glossing over Tidus' laptop screen. He's playing whatever game is hot right now while chilling in the general hangout area by the lockers, which is how I found him. I have about 15 minutes before cross-country practice, so there's nothing in particular for me to do.
"Can't you be a little more entertaining? I'm trying to talk with you here."
Tidus' head doesn't even flinch. "About?"
"...fine, I'm just trying to kill time. Better?"
"No, but I'll give you points for honesty."
"Ditto. Hey, you're gonna die."
"What?" The clicking and taps across his keyboard instantly accelerate. "Don't scare me, Kairi, I'm still alive."
"Then what's that flashing red bar?"
"That just means I'm low on resources! Don't talk about things you don't know."
I make a stink face at him. "Just trying to help, jeez."
There's a lull in our conversation, the sound of rapid mouse clicks being the only sounds occupying the silence. But it's a comfortable, a rare-sought moment with Tidus after everything, so I figure there's nothing wrong with just mindlessly sitting here basking in the ambience.
What's that saying? Oh right - good things never last.
"Hey Tidus, hey Kairi."
Tidus' eyes briefly flicker away from his laptop, then as if realizing who is speaking to us, he turns to give his full undivided attention. "Oh, hey Selphie!" he says, scooting towards me to make room on the bench for her.
I swallow, watching silently as Selphie takes a seat. Peering over at his laptop screen, she frowns upon seeing what Tidus is up to. "Gaming again? Is that what you do everyday afterschool?"
"N - no!" Tidus stammers. I crack a smile, cause it's kinda fun watching Tidus get grilled. But then when they digress into talking about plans for the weekend, I take it as my cue to get the hell out of there.
My hand freezes midway reaching towards my bag when Selphie calls out, "Where are you going, Kairi?"
Never one to mince her words, Selphie smiles at me like there's nothing wrong with the situation. My eyes narrow suspiciously, wondering why she's being so nosy about my life.
"Away," I reply succinctly, reminding myself to keep things brief with Selphie so I don't accidentally say the wrong thing. Please don't say anything else, please don't say anything else…
"Oh. Is it cause I'm here?"
W-O-W. Are we really doing this here? "That's a loaded question," I return.
"I'm just looking for an answer. Are you still avoiding me, Kairi? I thought you were fine with everything - " I choke on my laugh, which isn't the smartest thing to do but what can I say? It's an involuntary action. "Okay…" Selphie continues hesitantly, "I guess I was assuming things. Sooooo, you still hate us?"
"Don't just say it like that," I frown. "You make it sound like I'm the unreasonable one."
Selphie gives me a look as if saying she's not gonna dignify that with a response. Wait a sec -
"You don't still think I'm being unreasonable, do you?" I look from her to Tidus and then back. "Seriously? I've known you since elementary school, Selphie. But you chose Tidus over me."
Selphie narrows her eyes. "Is this what everything's about? The fact that your ego can't stand coming in second in anything - "
"This isn't about me!" I shriek, correcting her immediately. "It's about what you chose to do to me - to us."
"I didn't choose Tidus because, or in spite, or - or for any reason related to you! God, Kairi, of course you'd find a way to make everything about yourself - "
"Are you calling me selfish?"
"No, I'm just saying that this doesn't have anything to do with you! So why would you insert yourself into it?"
"Stop trying to justify everything, you choose to do what you did and - "
We're in a full-blown shouting match in the middle of the locker area now, though thankfully there aren't a lot of people around at this awkward hour after school. Cause this ain't a pretty sight. Months of unspoken words and buried tensions erupt just like that, cause Selphie pricked at the surface and trying to wait out the problem didn't work. I still can't believe - she doesn't think she did anything wrong?
"You used me!" I exclaim. "You were just using me to get to Tidus, didn't you?"
Selphie's breath catches in her throat. She opens her mouth but no words come out. It takes a moment for her to speak again.
"Is - is that what you really think? That I hung out with you for 8 fucking years just cause of Tidus?"
The ferocity of her voice makes me recoil. "I - what do I know? How do I know why you wanted to hang out with me? You're making me question everything!"
"If that's what you really think about me...then I don't know why I'm still trying."
Trying what? Before I can ask, Selphie stands up and walks off. I'm trying to gather my thoughts and develop a comeback, but she's gone before I can say anything.
This is so frustrating. Why can't she see things from my perspective? How can I trust anything she's done when it seems like she's had an ulterior motive all along?
"You're fucking stupid, Kairi."
I bristle at the association of me and having a low intellect. "Excuse me?" I hiss, turning towards that dumbass Tidus. Except now his expression's a little more serious, like -
Oh. He wants to Talk.
"Did you really think that? That Selphie became friends with you just to - to get closer to me or whatever? Do you really think anyone would do that for 8 years?"
When he and Selphie put it like that, it's a little hard to swallow. "What do I know, huh? I mean, it's not like she'd tell me."
"You know what, this whole pretend-it-never-happened thing isn't working, okay? I thought you needed time or space to process everything, cause we did spring things on you all of a sudden, but it's been months and you still haven't thought about it, have you?"
"What? Wait, I didn't bring it up cause I thought you didn't want me to bring it up! You were the one ignoring everything!"
"What? Hello, I tried talking about it so many times - "
"When, huh? When'd you actually want to talk about it?"
"Shit, I don't remember exactly when!"
"You're just making this up! Stop accusing me of everything!"
"Seriously, I don't think I can do this whole charades thing anymore. Either we work things out, or I don't think I can stand the tension hanging over us while we pretend everything didn't happen."
I stare at Tidus in disbelief. Slowly, my mind wraps itself around his words. "You're...choosing her?"
"Goddammit Kairi, we're not picking anyone over you! Seriously, you need to get over yourself and then maybe we can talk with you."
Let me know when you pull your head out of your ass. Then we can talk!
I can't believe it. It was just Selphie at first but now - Tidus is betraying me too. They don't care about me - not anymore, or maybe they never did.
I draw a deep breath and raise walls so high they won't be able to see inside my heart. "You two are gonna break up," I say with the steadiest voice I can muster, "and then you'll realize you're both making a huge mistake."
Tidus sighs exasperatedly. "Right, and I'll be sure to let you know." With that, he slides his laptop into his bag and walks off.
I clench my hands into tight fists, wondering what I'm supposed to do now. There's this bottomless pit of rage pooling in my stomach, and - what, I'm supposed to just grin it and bear it? I'm supposed to just take all these accusations of my character and people using me and accept this is part of life?
No! I'm goddamn mad and this isn't fair.
Flipping out my phone, I dial Naminé's number and pray silently she'll pick up. Meanwhile, I'm feeling a little exposed in this public space, so I grab my things and head outside to an isolated corner of the school where there's no one at this time.
"...hello? Kairi?"
"Naminé where are you?"
"Oh, I'm already home. My dad wants to have dinner with his friend and cause they have a child my age, so of course he's forcing me to tag along - "
"Do you know what Selphie just said to me?"
"...what happened, Kairi?"
That's all the invitation I need. So I proceed to spill my guts to Naminé, about everything that happened in the last 15 minutes and how dumb Selphie and Tidus are and how mad I am at them and everything and how things in life right now are just so fucked up.
A/N: Yay for SoKai fluff! Yay for conflicts! Yay for plot progression! (I know you're thinking, about time.)
Thanks for bearing with me through midterms - now I have no exams till November! Which means hopefully a regular biweekly update schedule while I try to catch up on other things in #life (sorry I still don't know how to use hashtags).