Shelagh stood still, blinking hard as she stared at the reflection before her in the fitting room mirror. Trixie certainly was trying to give her a new look, but this wasn't one that Shelagh thought suited her style. "It's a bit too… much I think Trixie."
"Nonsense, sweetie! Come out here and let me take a look at you." Trixie inhaled a short breath as Shelagh stepped out to show off the most recent dress chosen for her to try on, "You look stunning! That dress is perfect. You simply must get it! Surely there will be at least one Christmas party you could wear it to, never underestimate the power of a little black dress."
"It's not too little?" Shelagh asked as she vainly attempted to stretch the fabric lower to cover more of her thighs. What would Sister Julienne say if she saw her in this? What would Patrick think? How would he react? Her hands began to instinctively try to tug the dress higher on her chest.
Trixie stepped closer to Shelagh and stilled her nervous hands, squeezing them reassuringly. "Sweetie, I don't know who this man is that has brightened your smile and opened you up to the world, but I know one thing: he doesn't stand a chance against this dress."
"It's not like that; I'm not trying to- I don't know what I'm trying to do. But I didn't come out tonight because of some man. I want to open up more, to change," Shelagh glanced at the floor, face turning red as her voice became quiet and she took a deep breath, starting again. "I want to change, to be a better friend, Trixie - for me, not for anyone else. I doubt this... this… thing will last long anyway. But I've realized that I put myself on a path a long time ago that I'm not sure I should be on any longer. I want to be a different person; I'm ready for a different road."
Trixie enveloped Shelagh into a tight embrace, the hint of a tear glistening in her eyes, "I'm so glad you've decided to finally let the world in, to let me in, just don't go changing on me too much!" She straightened up and stood back, steering her friend back toward the mirror with a broad smile, "So, the bloke is unimportant.. but you still must absolutely get this dress."
As Trixie continued rummaging through her wardrobe, the pile of clothes which Trixie insisted were far too out of date kept growing ever taller. Shelagh was struck by the stark contrast between the vivacious blonde and her drab flat. Trixie seemed full of life and Shelagh felt so devoid of anything remotely resembling it. For almost ten years, Shelagh's world had consisted solely of her work at Nonnatus Women's Hospital and her service at All Saints' Church. But for the first time in many years, perhaps the first time since her mother's death, presented with a new opportunity for friendship, Shelagh had no desire to shrink back and push her away. Instead of allowing herself to believe she was too small or not enough, or any of those other lies she had allowed herself to believe for so long, she was determined to go through with the change she had told Trixie of earlier.
"You've gone quiet over there, Sweetie, am I getting rid of too much? Is it too overwhelming for you? I can stop if you'd like." Trixie gave Shelagh a smile as she glanced tenderly up from the dress she had been inspecting.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I got lost in thought. Please continue, I need all the help I can get," Shelagh said with a laugh, "I'm embarrassed to admit that some of these outfits I've had since my school days. They probably aren't the most flattering of choices."
"Well then, I'm glad I was able to talk you into so many purchases today!"
"I really haven't had much opportunity to wear anything besides scrubs and my Sunday best in quite some time…" Shelagh's voice trailed off as the two women locked eyes, an apology written on her face for all the times she'd turned Trixie away and shunned any sort of friendship.
Shelagh joined Trixie at the wardrobe as the two began putting away her new purchases. When the new black dress came out of a bag, Trixie suggested it be immediately put to good use. "Let's go out tomorrow night. We can invite Cynthia along, and Chummy if she doesn't already have a date. We can go dancing!"
"It's not that I don't want to," Shelagh began as she twisted her hands nervously in front of her and looked to the floor, "I just can't tomorrow night." She hated to see the pain that swept briefly over her friend's face, but she had promised Timothy they could spend time together and already had a whole evening planned. Could she tell Trixie? Would that be risking too much? Would Trixie somehow guess Dr. Turner was her mystery man? Not that Dr. Turner was 'her man.' But if she lied, saying she had a date, and someone on duty asked Patrick who was watching Timothy and he revealed it was Shelagh, Trixie would definitely find out something was going on…
Abruptly Shelagh realized that she had grown completely still during her internal rambling and Trixie was staring at her now less with pain and more with curiosity at her odd behavior. Quickly deciding to go with her earlier philosophy of always sticking as close to the truth as possible, Shelagh blurted out, "I have to babysit tomorrow night. Sorry, it's no big deal, but I have felt bad for Timothy Turner recently, always having to spend his time in the break room, so I told Pat- ahem, Dr. Turner, that I would stay with him tomorrow evening after my shift. He really is a sweet boy. But I hadn't wanted to say anything… I, uh, didn't, um, want to embarrass Timothy."
"You really are so kind, Shelagh," Trixie said with a smile, "always thinking of others. No matter, we'll go out another weekend!"
Shelagh breathed a sigh of relief when she realized Trixie thought nothing strange of her offer to spend time with the young boy. It had only been a few days, but this fake relationship was already becoming too complicated.