Author's Note: This chapter was written in a live collaboration with TimeCloneMike. We arranged a time and used Google Docs to type in an RP of sorts. I wrote GQ's Gaster, while he wrote Aster and Frisk. Live feedback can take a story to unexpected tangents.
[The following transcript is the voice recording of Doctor Wendell Dominic Gaster conversing with Doctor Wing Ding Aster]
GASTER
Sigh. No good deed goes unpunished as they say. I'm just trying to keep this world secure from goodness knows what threat is out there…
'All Fine Labs', hm? I must say that my world missed out on plenty of naming opportunities.
[Gaster dials the correct FUN number based on Mezil's calls.]
ASTER
Hello, you've reached the ridiculously realistic simulacra of Doctor Wing Ding Aster who is tired and has a headache and is about to punch somebody in the GODDAMN FACE! How may I direct your call?
GASTER
E-excuse me?! I was told that you're on duty! Would you kindly fulfil your obligations? I know that you may deal with otherworldly shenanigans 24-7, but at least ditch the tardiness!
If we don't sort this out on schedule I might end up free-falling, or compacted into a ball only one centimeter in diameter, or cause some sort of chain reaction that may or may not result in the premature collapse of my realm. I don't even want to imagine the possibilities.
Doctor, please answer the call. In person.
ASTER
Uh, I did answer the call in person. Could you not tell from my ridiculously realistic appearance and tone of voice?
GASTER
Oh. Pardon me. It doesn't help that the scientists in my world have figured out how to make ridiculously realistic appearances and voices in the metaspace that I reside in.
That aside, it appears that it takes two to make a proper connection between the endpoints. I'm sending over my Functional Universe Number to you right now. Please let me know if there's anything else that I need to do.
ASTER
Alright, fair enough. Data's coming through on the duplex channel. Sorry for being snippy earlier, it's just that I've only had about eight hours of sleep in the last three days. That sentient virus guy and the half alien hybrid showed up again and got into a fight, which turned into a drinking contest, which turned into an anguished and public declaration of love, so you can imagine the amount of stress that I am under right now.
GASTER
Well, sleep is something that I don't miss, that's for sure. And it sounds like you had quite a bit of, eherm, drama. The very thing I'm trying to prevent.
…How's the good sir doing? If I dare to ask.
ASTER
The good sir…? Oh, the new guy. Mezil something. He's in a hurry to get home. I mean, most people are. Emphasis on 'most'. But he likes hanging out with Papyrus, so at least he's keeping busy… okay. Numbers are coming through. Hey, Frisk, run this over to the portal guys please? Thanks.
GASTER
Frisk is assisting you? Peculiar. Anyhow, I am glad that the good sir got along well with your Papyrus. I think out of us Dreemurr Citizens, he trusts that young man the most.
You know… your multiverse connection is one of the key reasons I chose your world. Easy to access, easy to plant, and relatively simple to connect back home from. Though I am told that I had chosen my plan poorly.
ASTER
Well yeah. If the lab next door suddenly gets access to the latest in X-Ray Crystallography equipment, you don't just let yourself in to do an analysis or seven. At the very least you knock first. And while I can't speak for the guy I kinda think that Mezil fellow would agree on that point. Since he was, you know, the experiment you snuck in to perform in this analogy… What? Oh. Sorry. Frisk says the portal guys are punching in the numbers now.
GASTER
Oh, indeed. They're coming through right now. Goner dear, help Rhymer parse the numbers. Thank you.
A-about Supreme Judge Mezil Thyme, please understand my predicament! I had offered my warnings multiple times, but they were all for naught. They considered my research low-priority. Said something about our world's metaphysical borders being strong enough. We're apparently invisible to almost all alternate universes. Emphasis on the 'almost', because I did manage to connect to you!
The boss - who's our good sir by the way - refuses to acknowledge the extra-dimensional threat. I need his support to get Sans Serif on the project. He won't budge unless the higher-ups unanimously agree to my papers.
As for 'why Sans Serif'? As much as I loathe to admit, he's the only Monster I trust to get home in one piece.
ASTER
Uh… huh. Hey Frisk, what's that thing that the, uh, comedian says?
FRISK
You're going to have to narrow it down a bit.
ASTER
Right, right… uh. He's got those suits, he's kinda thin and gangly for a human, and he was the voice of that pig character in that animated Spiderman movie-
FRISK
John Mulaney.
ASTER
YES! That's him. He said, "Now, we don't have time to unpack ALL of that," didn't he?
FRISK
Yeah, that was him.
GASTER
I… have no idea who or what you're talking about, but I have a feeling that I'm being mocked. Nevermind that. The job comes first.
Please excuse me for a moment.
[Gaster moves away from the recording spot, taking a moment to discuss something with his crew.]
GASTER
I'm back. According to my assistants, it'll take fifteen minutes for everything to be ready for the next step.
…Is it me, or does your Frisk sound older?
ASTER
I don't know, I guess that depends on how old your Frisk is. They've been interning here since… well, not right when they learned to use magic, but not long after.
FRISK
Mom told me not to give out personal information to strange universes. You said fifteen minutes? Doc, I can go tell the portal guys.
ASTER
Good idea. So… how are things in your universe?
GASTER
Jolly well, I'd say. We recently averted another premature apocalypse. Business as usual. By the way, the Frisk in my universe just celebrated their 11th birthday.
What about your end? Other than the dimensional shenanigans.
ASTER
Can't complain. The last major existential threat to reality we had to face was back in... hold on a second, gotta do the math… 2016. I have to convert calendar systems in my head sometimes. But yeah. Kept Mt. Ebott from erupting, stabilized the breach so we only have to deal with dimensional rifts on a daily basis, put Jordan Cater away for good, everything after that was easy. Oh, just out of curiosity, have you ever had a, well, crazy cultist show up and try to ruin your whole day?
GASTER
'A' crazy cultist? My, my, more like a whole society of them! Those anti-magic infidels had plagued The Surface for over a millennium. Goodness gracious. They once executed an assassination plot against our dear King and Queen, and failing that they set the Magi's headquarters on fire!
…They're lying low for now. Temporary ceasefire. Seems like we managed to garner the respect required for diplomacy.
ASTER
Wow. That's, uh, pretty high up on the Weird-O-Meter. Though the gravity of the situation lends it some seriousness that we didn't have when the local fake mustache club almost had a civil war here, and that managed to dominate the news cycles even when people were cropping up from other timelines morning noon and night. I swear, there must be something in the water here. Glad to hear things are going… well, stable, I guess.
But seriously, you never had somebody claiming to be Chara's father show up and steal a machine to give him magic powers and ruin everybody's good times?
GASTER
Huh. How interesting. How very, very interesting. First of all, no. We didn't have that incident. In fact, Chara died 60 years before the whole 'Undertale' incident happened. Their parents were part of the anti-magic society I talked about. For the sin of their child having merged with a monster, they were poisoned upon the orders of their resident god.
Some context. The cultists - Gungnir - elect their greatest to inherit the collective wisdom of their DEMON ancestors. As long as the ancestral spirit lingers in the world, their descendants can call upon their True Name to literally download all their knowledge and become a god.
By this logic, my Frisk had become their deity for the short while that they were channelling Chara. I don't understand how these cultists think, but I'll take any diplomatic loophole that's to my nation's benefit.
…I take it that Gungnir doesn't exist in your world.
ASTER
Uh… nope. Doesn't ring a bell. And damn. That makes all the scientific hoops we had to jump through to get Chara and Frisk separated look like assembling lego blocks. I mean… wow. Chara's gonna get a kick out of this. Asriel too.
GASTER
A-Asriel? Prince Asriel?! H-he lives?! I- I'm so glad to hear that! The prince in my home. He… He insists on calling himself Flowey. I can't bring myself to do so, but I try to respect his feelings.
Speaking of separation, did you know that it was Judge Mezil Thyme who resolved that issue for us? Chara was… quite a menace back then. They held Frisk hostage and along with it the power of time. Once Judge Thyme had the proper setup, he used a special DEMON-targeting magic and stuffed that child's ghost into an Ebott Goldenflower.
He may have gone grey, looking like a stern principal… but he's quite a deadly man. Especially to evil spirits. No. Actually, he's deadly to anyone and anything. I hope that he doesn't need to flex his powers during his 'forced vacation'.
ASTER
So far it hasn't been an issue. Actually I can count the number of really dangerous violent situations involving extra-dimensional travelers on one hand. Didn't know that he was involved in all that. Honestly, and I say this knowing full well that it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but your timeline sounds insane. So much stuff going on and so many different things cropping up.
GASTER
Insane? You're right, it is indeed terribly insane. What I told you was just the mere surface of the matter.
And then there was Sans. Good lord, Sans Serif. If you knew what he did, you'd get a heart attack.
Oh? Goner? It's already fifteen minutes? So soon? H-hold it for a while. There's still something I want to ask Doctor Aster.
Eherm, I have a feeling that you already know that my reputation isn't the most stellar, but if I may… Can I know how you restored Prince Asriel? If you could spare copies of your process, that's even better!
We're trying. However, he has already consigned to his existence as a DEMON flower. Frisk's proposal, though sound, has a high chance of failure. Or perhaps it's impossible to begin with. If there's anything we could learn from your world to restore him, that may make my possible punishment in the hands of Mezil's wife all the more worth it.
ASTER
Well… first things first. I wasn't even INVOLVED in Asriel coming back. I showed up about two weeks or so earlier. Maybe three. That whole month has a tendency to run together in my head. So I met a surly Goldenflower, and then it turns out he was the Prince the whole time. Go figure.
What I can do, though, is ask Toriel and Asgore and Chara if they will consent to releasing our files on the process we used to get them their own body again. And if they give the green light, I can send that to your universe, and… hell, maybe it will work, or maybe it will give you a stepping stone in the right direction. We've noticed that some other universes have varying fundamental principles and laws involved in how magic and SOULs work, so what we did for Chara might not work for your Asriel. But it's worth a shot. I will say this up front, you are going to need a metric fuckton of DT Energy.
GASTER
Thank you! Thank you so, so very much kind sir! As for DT energy? That's absolutely no problem. Frisk alone has more DT than a million people combined. That's just the bare minimum, mind you.
Ah, I should share something in return. What are you seeking to study, Doctor Aster? It may be tricky to get approval for specific time-related technology, but if your realm gains enough brownie points from Judge Thyme that may not be an issue. What to do, he's the boss.
ASTER
We're actually pretty set for technology. A lot of people show up and trade up or down, and we can reverse engineer most of it once we know what to look for. That said, if we're going to do a horse trade, if that's the right metaphor, how about historical and social information? If you could grab a history book or a summary of current events and toss it through the portal after your pal comes back, it would go a long way towards our attempts to map out the local multiverse cluster. Frisk has an interesting theory using an analogy with soap bubbles and oh shit I just got the lights on the control board here. I think we're ready.
GASTER
History books are of no problems at all! In fact, I think Lady Lucidia would be anxious to fulfil such a request.
Goner? A note from Papyrus? Well, I hope it's good news.
…My boy Papyrus states that if for some reason a Mezil and a Lucidia is born on July 7th, your world needs to be armed with sensitive information. Well then. I certainly hope that's not the case, because their existence was regarded as an omen back home.
Anyways! Press the button, Rhymer!
[The advanced machinery in the background starts whirring to life.]
[END TRANSCRIPT]