Chapter TWENTY SEVEN

Choosing classes for next semester - also gotta cross check with Naminé

-Required: chemistry or physics (aka which is the lesser of two evils?)
-Required: history, ugh Sora told me scary things about the teacher, I better prepare
-Required: Spanish?
-Required: calculus FML

AKA should not have procrastinated in freshman year
AKA can def wait for next semester to come

"Hey. What're you doing?"

Seated on the bleachers, I look up and notice Sora hovering before me. Eying his sweat-drenched jersey and shiny new cleats, I guess he's just finished soccer practice.

"Kairi?"

"Huh?" I blink, focusing on Sora. He narrows his eyes curiously and tilts his head. "What?" I exclaim, self-conscious under his gaze.

"What's up? What're you doing, watching us practice?"

"Huh? What? No, I wasn't watching you guys," I hastily deny. I don't need Sora thinking I look up to them or something.

"Then what're you doing here?"

"Just - chilling. Relaxing. It's a good day."

"...huh, okay. Whatcha thinking about?"

"...uh…"

He looks at me pointedly - or maybe not pointedly, maybe he's just looking. It feels like I'm searching for some sort of ulterior purpose behind everyone's actions now, like they're questioning if I'm okay now that my family's -

I pause, staring at Sora curiously.

"What?" he asks, taking a self-conscious step back.

It finally occurs to me that Sora probably doesn't even know about my family's situation. Why am I so self-centered, assuming people care so much about my business when they probably don't even know what's going on?

I sigh, turning away. "Nothing."

"Is something wrong?"

"What? What would you say that?" How is he so perceptive? Can he tell that something is wrong?

"...I mean, just wondering - "

"...well, I have been kinda stressed out lately," I confess, all the words rushing out in one breath. I don't even realize how much I want to talk until now. "Things are a little rough for my family right now. I'm broke. I mean, I know it's just money but it just...sucks, you know?"

"So...your parents cut your allowance?"

"No! I mean, yes, basically - or actually...holy shit, they haven't." The thought just occurs to me: Mom gave my usual amount this week. What the actual fuck?

"So, what's up?" Sora asks, eyes narrowed. He steps over the bleacher row between us, sitting down before taking a long chug of his water. "You still have your allowance but you want more?"

"No! My family's broke, my mom lost her job, and we don't have enough money but my parents are still giving me $20 a week!"

"Whoa, Kairi. Chill, I didn't know. Sorry."

I exhale sharply, trying to quell the sudden wave of rage that washed over me. It's not his fault he doesn't know - he literally doesn't know because I didn't tell him. It all comes down to me - my fault.

God, I hate this feeling in my guts. It's like last time when I felt like everyone was blaming me, but now I'm blaming myself.

"Ugh, sorry, I'm just in a really bad mood right now," I mumble softly. "I'd recommend staying away from me for the next few days. Weeks, maybe."

Sora is quiet for the longest time. I don't expect him to have much to say, since it's such a trivial concern. Just money, right? Also, he's probably never had to experience anything similar. His family's "comfortable," and you know when people say comfortable, they mean "well-off."

"What'd your parents say?" he finally asks.

"Huh?"

"When they gave you your allowance?"

When they gave me my allowance? I try to recall if anything was different, but nothing was. Which is part of the reason I didn't even realize they were still giving me $20. Mom had handed me the bills earlier this week, and I'd accepted it wordlessly as usual.

"Nothing," I say. "Everything was normal. How could it just happen like that?"

"So you want things to be different?"

"Yeah!"

"How?"

"I mean…" Sora's words make me think. What exactly do I want out of all of this? "I mean, I don't want to, but maybe they should cut back on my allowance. It sucks, but...I know they're cutting back too, so I should as well. I think. Ugh, wait a sec, is that possible? I'm literally spending every cent of my allowance each month on stuff…" As my stream of consciousness starts tumbling out of my mouth, I rest my head in my hands and try to destress. My mind's a jumbled mess now and not really functioning.

"So it sounds like you want to help your family and save money, but you still have to keep spending everything you get."

"Yeah, sounds about right…"

"If you can't spend less, what else can you do?"

"Well, I guess the flip side is that I make more…" I pause, rolling the thought over in my mind. "Like get a job?"

"Would that work? Your parents wouldn't have to give you as much and you could make up the difference yourself."

"But what would I do? I suck at everything!"

"No you don't," Sora says. You know how sometimes people say things so confidently that regardless of your doubts, you have to believe in them? That's how I feel when Sora says that. "Sure, you're not good at a lot of things - "

"Hey!" I'm at least paying enough attention to recognize the underhanded insult.

" - but you just gotta figure out what you're good at. No one's good at everything. Even me."

"Wow, Sora, such modesty."

"One of the things I'm good at," he says with a grin. All I can do is roll my eyes and mimic his amusement.

"Okay. Well, let's see. I can't tutor cause I'm barely passing my own classes. I'm bad with kids so babysitting's out. I guess I could try being a server but it sounds so stressful…"

"Sounds like a good start," he declares, jumping to his feet and patting me on the shoulder. "Hang in there."

"Thanks," I say, watching him walk off, which leaves me to dwell with my thoughts. The more I think about getting a job, the more excited I get. Even I'm surprised by my own feelings. I guess it's because I'm actually doing something to solve the problem now, instead of just sitting on my butt and angsting about my misfortune. The idea of making my own money also gets me kinda pumped. Pulling out my phone, I begin a broad search on what are some good part-time jobs I could do on the weekends or something. It actually works out schedule-wise because with the end of cross-country, I have the extra time.

By the time it's getting cold outside, I've got a few different ideas bookmarked. Looking up at the empty field before me, I find myself feeling good about my progress. Who knew that Sora would be so useful? And so nice about it too.

When I catch myself thinking about Sora fondly with a silly grin on my face, I balk at the implications. Because with the way I'm acting, you'd think that I...

Don't...hate Sora anymore...?

I toss the idea to the back of my mind when I get home. Mom and Dad are waiting for me to start dinner.

"Do you even check your phone?" Dad complains with a laugh. "I called you twice!"

I blink, just noticing the missed calls. "Sorry, my phone's on silent during school. I basically never pick up."

"Then what's the point of buying you that phone?"

"Texting," I respond flatly while dropping off my bag and slipping into a dining chair. "Smells good. Mom cooked?"

"Yeah," Mom mumbles while gesturing for me to sit. "So, how was your day?"

Updating Mom about the day-to-day is still something that takes practice. "Um, not much. I hung out with Naminé a bit after school and did some homework before coming back…" Trailing off, I spy Mom and Dad watching me with rapt attention, as if I were regaling them with some otherwordly tale. Feeling self-conscious, I flip the tables on them. "How about you guys?"

Mom and Dad look a little shocked but proceed to update me about their days. It's kinda weird thinking about what they do on a daily basis, because I imagine 'work' as some sort of black hole world where adults go, things happen, and then they come back to at the end of the day (baring days when the black hole demands extra overtime work). But hearing Mom recount an unexpected encounter with an acquaintance and Dad complain about traffic made me realize how...normal they are. We really are just a normal family.

(Except that we're, you know, broke.)

"Oh, by the way," I perk up, "I was thinking of maybe getting a job. Though I'm not sure what yet."

Awkward pause. Mom and Dad try the eye-to-eye-telepathy thing, but it happens right in front of me and is painfully obvious. I wait patiently until Dad turns my way.

"This doesn't, ahem, have to do with what I told you the other day, does it?" he asks very delicately.

"...kinda," I say honestly. "But I mean, it works out. Cause I can't keep asking for allowance, right? Gotta make my own dough someday." I chuckle. "Maybe even repay you guys."

"Kairi, you don't have to worry about that," Mom begins with a weary sigh. "That's not your responsibility - that's ours, as adults. You just have to focus on school for now."

I'm already sensing the direction of this conversation so I desperately try to handle the reins. "I know, I'm trying. But since cross-country ended, I have more free time anyways and I gotta keep busy somehow. Plus, don't colleges like seeing you do stuff outside of school? Our college counselor says it's all about real life experience nowadays."

Mom and Dad have another silent conversation. I'm actually kinda jealous of their ability and hope I can achieve that with someone one day.

"Well...I think Kairi's right," Dad begins slowly, to which I do a silent mental cheer. "Extracurriculars are important, and you can learn a lot of valuable things while working a job. Get a taste of what it's really like to be an adult."

"There are a lot of different extracurriculars you could do," Mom argues. "You don't have to work necessarily - if there's a student club you wanna join, or volunteer somewhere - "

"No, that's okay. I think I'm gonna work." I like the idea of getting two birds with one stone - participating in a transcript-boosting activity while making some moolah for myself.

"Don't feel like you have to do it just because of what's going on with us," Dad admonishes.

"I know. I'm keeping all the money for myself."

Both Mom and Dad chuckle. "Sure," Dad says. "It's your money - do whatever you want with it."

"Yay!" I cheer, pulling up my phone and the bookmarks I made earlier. "Look, there's this site that talks about a bunch of different ideas for high schoolers looking for part-time jobs. Can you imagine being a dog walker? I mean, getting paid to hang out with dogs? What more could you ask for in life…"

There's kinda an awkward tension in the air still in regards to money and all that good stuff. But somehow it feels nice to make some small contribution to the family situation. Mom and Dad obviously don't like talking about it still, and though I'm a little embarrassed to share the situation with others, I think I'm slowly getting over it. So it's just a little economic downturn in terms of the family finances. Now that I think about it, there have definitely been other times growing up when similar things happened. For example, Dad was always home when I was eight-years-old, and in hindsight, I realize he was probably unemployed. When I was twelve, I was given a box to fill with my belongings and everything else was promptly sold. Little things that don't stand out but make a lot of sense now that I look back at them.

So my family's struggling a little. But we're doing what we can. I'm doing the best I can. And that's all I can really do now, I guess.

Feeling marginally better about myself, I finally decide to proactively bring the topic up with Naminé the next day. I still owe her an apology, after all.

"I'm sorry," I turn towards her and announce after our homeroom teacher finishes with his announcements.

Naminé blinks. "Um, for?"

"For snapping at you on the phone."

"Oh." A nervous smile surfaces on her face. "Sorry that I pushed. You were obviously kinda stressed that day, and I didn't realize - "

"No, there was no way you would've known, cause we were talking on the phone. And I didn't tell you anything about it yet at that point because...I didn't want to." In case you were wondering why I'm making so much sense...I had thought this through and prepared this apology in advance. The guilt had been tripping me up badly, and I had to do something. "I'm sorry."

"...that's okay, Kairi. I'm just - I'm here for you, if you ever wanna talk about anything."

"I know. You always are," I mumble with a cheesy grin. "I mean, it's not a big deal. It's basically what I told you over the phone, except...oh hey!" I pull out my phone and show her the email I got last night. "I applied for a part-time job, and I just heard back! They want me to start next week!"

Naminé's eyes widen. "Oh, I didn't know you have to work - that you were looking for work! What're you gonna be doing?"

"Just working at the froyo store a few blocks down. It sounds easy enough and hopefully not too busy now that it's cold and no one wants froyo."

Naminé chuckles. "Well, you're gonna gain at least one more loyal customer here," she says, pointing at herself.

I wrap my arm around Naminé's neck and bring her close. "How come I know I can always count on you? You're the best Naminé!"

After sharing with Naminé, I figure it makes sense to also share with Sora since he was the one who came up with the idea in the first place. I track him down during lunch, when he's finished eating and just listening to music in the locker area by himself.

"HEY!" I exclaim next to his ear, to which Sora flinches.

"You're gonna make me go deaf before my music does," he complains but tucks his earbuds away. "What're you doing here?"

"I have good news!" I exclaim, shoving my phone in his face. He takes it from me and reads the tiny text. Slowly, a smile surfaces.

"No way, that was quick!"

"I know, right? Plus, employees get 20% off, so come visit and I gotchu," I wink.

Sora chuckles. "I'll keep that in mind, though I think Coach would throw a fit knowing that's on the table. Congrats, Kairi."

"Thanks!" I chirp. "For a lot of stuff, really. Mostly just bearing with me, I guess."

Sora pretends to widen his eyes and look around suspiciously. "What's going on? Is Kairi thanking me for something?"

I slap him on the arm. "Stop it. I can thank you for helping me out, right?"

His expression softens a little. "Of course. You don't have to thank me. We're friends, right? Your words, not mine," he adds with a pointed look.

"Of course. Friends." The word feels a little funny on my tongue. Because while part of me agrees that we are definitely past the unnamed rivalry, another part sours at the thought of being friends. Glancing at my phone, I realize I hadn't noticed time flying and there's only 5 minutes of lunch left. My heart's beating really fast, like that feeling I get before a cross-country meet. Plus, the crisp winter weather means there's really no reason my palms should be so clammy. Sora's saying something dumb that I should scoff at or make fun of, but instead, all I want to do is laugh in front of him…

Holy shit. There's no way that I…

That I like...Sora?

A/N: Wow, I can't believe it's almost been 1 year since I updated.

First things first, KH3! I literally cannot - and I mean that on so many levels: I literally cannot deal with the excitement, I literally cannot deal with spoilers right now, and I literally cannot play it cause I'm broke and don't have a PS3. Literally. Cannot.

But all that aside, thank you soso much to anyone who's still around! I've had a lot going on in life during this past year, not to use that as an excuse for not writing but...I'll just say it's good to be back. And I am more determined than ever to finish Kairi's story! As you can see, we're finally (FINALLY) getting somewhere. To old and new readers alike, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, any of the characters, the banality of what's going on - anything!

Happy (belated) 2019 to everyone! I'm wishing only happy things for you this year. :)