EXTRAS
personality types
Kairi
- MBTI: ENFP, The Campaigner
- Enneagram: Type 7, The Enthusiast
Sora
- MBTI: ESFJ, The Consul
- Enneagram: Type 6, The Loyalist
Naminé
- MBTI: INTJ
- Enneagram: ? (A/N: LOL I never figured this out)
easter eggs
1. I change the name of TV shows I'm watching and slip'em in the story.
"Not much of a spoiler, but Kara and Robert get married in season 6."
"Fortress!" I remember. - C4
Fortress = Castle, Kara = Kate Beckett, Robert = Rick Castle
Now I can head home, grab a snack, maybe watch an episode or two of Poker Face before dinner... - C9
Poker Face = Psych
The thought of Rags to Riches waiting for me on my laptop quickly lures me to my bedroom. - C22
Rags to Riches = Cinderella Phenomenon, an absolutely amazing otome/visual novel
"I was rewatching Sole Liter, I forgot it gets so good in the middle, and I couldn't stop!" - C24
Sole Liter = Soul Eater
2. With the Sonnens (Kairi's dad's side of the family), there's a lot of implied sexism and enforcement of traditional gender roles. In C9, Kairi's dad (aka the son) goes home to accompany their father for surgery instead of the daughter. Uncle Sonnen actively engages his son's participation in sports while disregarding Kairi's involvement. He also constantly implies that women are meant to be homemakers. Most of this flies over Kairi's head because she's a kid, but Kairi's mom obviously takes issue with it and picks a fight with him in C26.
3. "I'm sorry if his temper's been bad these days. I - um, recently he's [Coach Tellah] been kinda upset with me." - Anna, C9
[...]
"Ohmigawd, is that Edward von Muir? [...] please tell me he gets to sing." - Kairi, C9
In C9, Coach Tellah gives a thinly veiled rant to the cross-country students about shirking on old commitments to tend to new ones. His daughter, Anna, suggests that he's mad at her for some reason. Actually Anna has recently started dating Edward von Muir, the actor in the movie Kairi and Tidus watch later on that day. Kairi references his singing ability because in FFIV, Edward's job class is bard.
"the bonfire incident"
"C'mon, man, truth or dare?"
"Be a man, Ven, and just pick dare!"
"I...ah, I'm going with truth!"
I, along with the rest of the game's participants, groan at Ventus' predictable response. "C'mon, this is getting boring!" Selphie exclaims. "We've had 3 truths in a row! I wanna see some action, guys!"
"Wait till you're picked, Selphie."
"Hey, I'd pick dare if it actually landed on me!"
"Can we just get on with the game?" I complain. "Just ask Ventus his question."
"Oh! Uh...if you had to go on a date with a girl here, who would it be?"
"Ooh, nice one!"
"Yeah, Ven, who would you pick?"
I snicker to myself and Ventus' face turn pink as his eyes dart around. Isn't it obvious who he's gonna pick? His eyes settle on me - just for a moment, before shifting to the girl by my side.
"I - uh, probably Naminé? Cause I've known her the longest…"
"That's so cute!"
"Aww, you guys should totally date!"
"Yo man, Naminé's totally out of your league."
Naminé smiles prettily. "Aw, thanks Ven. I'd probably choose you too."
I slap her on the arm lightly. "It's not even your turn! Now they're gonna think of an even harder question for you."
Naminé laughs. "It's alright, I don't really mind."
She's just lucky I'm here to back her up if they throw any weird questions at her. I mean, I can already think of a few that would trip her up…
"Okay, next!" Ventus announces, spinning the bottle in the middle. My heartbeat speeds up a little as the bottle slows down, eventually stopping at…
Oh. This is gonna be fun.
"Aw yeah!" Ventus cheers. "So, Sora, what's your pick of poison?"
Sora Hikari confidently crosses his arms across his chest. I want to smack that smug smirk off his face. "Selphie, I got you," he says. "Ven, give me your best double dare."
"Sora!" Selphie exclaims gleefully. "And that, everyone, is what a real man should do!"
"Hey!" Ventus squeals in protest. "What's that say about me?"
"Nothing that isn't true," Selphie reassures with a grin. "So, Sora, who's gonna be your partner in crime?"
"...I don't know, I don't really wanna put anyone on the spot," Sora says. "I just thought it'd be fun to do a double dare."
"Hmm…" Selphie looks around. "How about…"
"Oh dear god," I mumble under my breath, "what is she doing now…" Heaven knows what theatrics Selphie can dream up.
"Most people have gone twice already. Who hasn't, raise your hand!"
Oh shit. Oh, fuckkkk -
"Kairi?" Naminé whispers from my side. "Didn't you…?"
"I know!" I hiss back. Tentatively, I raise my hand. From past experience, anything with Sora Hikari is bad news. Doing a double dare with him? I honestly can't think of anything worse.
"So it's just Kairi?" Selphie asks. I look at her giddy smile and wish I could rip that off her face. Okay, that's a little violent, but you get what I'm going at. I swear, it's like Selphie's goal is to fuck up my life.
"Wait, this isn't fair!" I protest.
"Everyone's gone twice except for you," Selphie points out.
"Why don't I get a choice of truth or dare? Why can't I choose truth?"
"Kairi - "
"This isn't fair, you guys can't make me do a dare with Sora!"
An awkward silence follows my outburst. I didn't realize I was that loud. Wordlessly, I sink back into my seat. Why won't the ground just open up and swallow me whole…
"...I'll go," Naminé volunteers herself, saving me from imminent misery. I glance over at my bestie with wide eyes, hoping I'm conveying some of my eternal gratitude. How many times has Naminé saved my ass, just this week? I don't even know where to start.
"Jeez, Kairi, scared I have cooties or something?" Sora jeers.
"No! Just - who knows what stupid dare they'll come up with? Whatever it is, I don't wanna do it with you."
"So you're gonna let Naminé take the fall?" Selphie prompts.
"God, Kairi, we're trying to be fair."
"Just do the dare with Sora!"
I swear, did Selphie conspire this whole thing with our class? Or is someone out to get me today?
"What's the big deal? We're just playing for fun, aren't we?" Sora says.
"Okay, god, fine!" I exclaim. I guess I'm such a pushover when it comes to peer pressure. "I'll do it with Sora!"
"Kairi, I can - "
"No, it's okay. Thanks, Naminé. I got this." I stand up, staring Sora down with as much intensity as I can. "Let's do this."
I'm so gonna regret this - I can feel it already.
"Alright!" Sora says, clapping his hands and jumping to his feet. "Let's do this!"
"Alright! I respect a man who faces things head-on!" Selphie says. "Ven, c'mere! I've got some good ideas…"
While the rest of the group huddles together to discuss possible dares, Naminé pokes me in the ribs. "You okay, Kairi? I know you don't like this…"
"I don't! But god, they probably hate me already cause I'm acting like a child, throwing tantrums and all. I just...really don't like this!"
"It's just a game," Naminé reassures. "We've gone through worse. Remember that time we stayed up all night cramming for Mr. Park's geometry exam?"
"Oh god, I swear, I couldn't look at triangles for a week afterwards," I say, recalling that memory with a chuckle.
Naminé giggles. "This is just a silly dare. It'll probably be something stupid, like - "
"Skinny dip together!" Selphie exclaims.
...the fuck?
"Hell no," is my immediate response. "I'm not - gonna do that!" I shriek.
"Seriously, Selphie, that's like overkill," Sora complains. "And I don't wanna get arrested."
"It's pitch black, so you can't really see anyways," Ventus says. "C'mon, do it!"
"Do it, do it, do it!"
And just like that, fucking Ventus gets a chant going.
I'm actually fine with skinny dipping - I've done it before - but with Sora? Hell no!
"I don't think this is right, guys," Sora says nervously, trying to calm everyone down. "I mean - I'll do it, but I don't think we should make Kairi - "
"Are you saying I won't?" Of course, Sora always finds a way to work me up. "You're messing with the wrong person."
"What? I didn't say that! I mean, I don't wanna make you do this dare with me - "
"You're just using me as an excuse to back out of the dare, aren't you?"
"No!" he exclaims. "I'm fine with skinny dipping! It's pitch black right now anyways!"
"Then do it!"
"I'll do it!"
"Let's do it!"
"Okay fine, let's do it!"
…
oh shit god fuck damn what the shitting fuck did I just do -
"...alright everyone!" Selphie says. "Now, to give the two of them some privacy, we're all gonna be here watching while you guys go to that end of the water, okay? There's like barely any lighting there, so we'll barely see you. Sound good?"
No, Selphie, that sounds like shit.
What hole have I dug for myself? Can't I just go lie down in it now?
I start heading in that general direction, and before long I hear Sora's feet crunching the sand behind me. As I'm walking over, the only thing I can think of is: this is all his fault.
"My fault? You said 'let's do this' first!" Sora exclaims.
Did I say that aloud? Whatever. "You said I couldn't! I wasn't gonna let you talk me down like that!"
"Gosh, Kairi, proud much?"
"Gosh, Sora, judgmental much?"
"Guilty as charged. But hey, so are you."
"What? This is all your fault, Sora."
"You could've just said no! They'd let you go eventually."
"And make everyone hate me? I don't think so."
"Jeez, you shouldn't care so much about what people think. If you're not comfortable, just say it."
"I'm comfortable with it!" Pause. "What I mean is, I'm not comfortable, but comfortable enough to do it. It's not that bad. I mean, it's just like for 10 seconds, right?"
"...yeah. Yeah, it'll all be over real soon."
"That's good!" Selphie's far-off voice calls out. We pause in our steps and turn around. It's true that I can barely see Selphie and the rest of the guys in our grade from afar. I draw a deep breath, stepping into the water to get used to the colder temperature.
"Ladies first?" Sora asks.
"Fine," I say, moving to take off my cover-up.
"Oh nonono wait!" Sora exclaims, resting a hand on my arm. I turn over, glaring at him while wondering why he has to physically stop me. "I didn't think you'd say yes. Since it's my dare, I'll go first."
"...'kay," I say, yielding easily. S'not like it made much of a difference for me.
Sora draws a deep breath, turning away from me to take off his shirt. I'm a little...too aware of his presence, I'll say, so I tilt my body away to give him some privacy while he...strips.
Oh god this is so weird.
This is all Sora's - okay, this is all Selphie's fault.
"...phew!" Sora exclaims, his voice a little far-off. I tentatively turn around, making sure I don't accidentally expose myself to a nude Sora. When I look over, he's already in the water, his shoulders just above the surface. "C'mon!" he beckons with a hand.
I groan, tossing my cover-up off in one smooth motion. "Don't look!" I say sternly, to which Sora covers his eyes with his hands and turns around. I keep my eyes on him for the whole time as I take off my bikini and instantly jump into the waters. Damn, it's colder than I thought it'd be…
"I'm good," I mumble, and Sora turns around slowly. It's quiet for a few moments, neither of us quite sure what to do now. So it finally strikes me to gesture towards Selphie and them so they know we've done the dare.
"Do you think they see us?" Sora asks as he jumps up and down waving his hand.
"I hope so," I murmur, a chill running through my body. "Can we get out of the water? It's colder than I thought."
"Oh yeah. Oh, but - uh, we should put on our clothes first."
"Oh, right." I'm glad Sora reminds me, cause I was actually ready to just step out in the nude. "Don't look!"
"That's my line," he returns. We both turn around and put our swimwear back on.
"Good?" Sora calls out.
"I - gimme a sec," I stammer, struggling with tying the knot of my bikini top. I swear, the ocean's getting colder by the minute. My teeth are chattering and hands are shivering so bad I can't even perform such a simple task.
"...you okay there, Kairi?"
"I said, gimme a sec!"
"Sheesh, okay, I was just asking."
What feels like eternity passes, and I mess up the bow again. "Dammit! This goddammit knot - "
"Are you - uh, decent?" Sora asks.
"Almost!" I insist. "God, it's so damn cold! I just - I can't tie my top - god fucking Sora, what the hell?"
"Hey, I'm just trying to help!" Sora insists. I feel his fingers brush mine, and I'm startled by how warm he is. How's he maintaining his body heat in these cold waters? Is this the perks of having a boy's metabolism? I'm very jealous.
"Hey, I got it!" I exclaim, swatting his hands away.
"Kairi, you can barely hold still. Just lemme do it so we can get outta here."
The cold must be messing with my mind, or I'm too tired to argue and let Sora take over. His hand occasionally brushes my neck, which sends more chills up and down my spine.
"What's taking so long?"
"I - uh, so, I've never really done this before...is this supposed to be a bow, or like a dead knot?"
"...god, Sora. Just do a bowknot twice."
"Okay."
I wait patiently for Sora to finish tying up my top. After what seems like forever, he finally finishes. He proceeds to give me a pat on the back. "Let's go."
"Finally."
"I think the word you're looking for is: thanks."
"...shut up, Sora."
"You're welcome."
We get back to land and instantly put on our beach clothes, cause the night air can be chilly. I'm starting to regret leaving my jacket at home.
"We're back!" Sora announces. "You guys saw us, right?"
"Yeah! Seriously, man, didn't think you'd actually do it!"
"What'd you think?" Sora laughs.
"You okay, Kairi?" Naminé asks concernedly.
I sigh shakily, hands rubbing my arms in an attempt to keep warm. "I'm kinda cold actually...I think I'm gonna go sit by the bonfire a little."
"Oh, okay. Do you want me to go with you?"
I glance at Naminé, the picture perfect model of best friend. I mean, who else would volunteer as tribute in my place? I don't wanna rob her of the rest of her night. "Nah, it's okay. I just need awhile to warm up. You guys should keep playing."
"It's really okay - "
"Just stay. And if Ventus picks truth again, you should ask why he hasn't asked you out already."
"...Kairi!"
It's too easy to tease my bestie, so I let her go with a laugh.
Next impossible task: informing Selphie, the unofficial leader of our truth or dare group, that I'm calling it quits for the night.
I probably stare at her for a good minute, just mustering the courage to speak and carefully planning out my words. I swear, I open my mouth and then close it quite a few times. Then, just as I'm about to tap her shoulder, someone beats me to the chase.
"Hey Selphie. I'm gonna dry up by the bonfire cause I don't wanna catch a cold, so I won't be playing anymore," Sora tells her.
"Oh yeah, you should do that!" Selphie beams. "You really stepped up for everyone, Sora. Seriously. You have my respect."
"Happy to hear," Sora says with a wide grin. He then glances at me and asks, "Kairi, you gonna come?"
I - did he just - ?
Again, too cold and tired to think much, I focus on thanking the gods I don't have to talk to Selphie. Instead, I wordlessly nod and follow after Sora as he leads the way towards the bonfire.
We're walking in relative silence when he speaks up. "You're welcome," he says.
"Huh?"
"I said, you're welcome."
"I didn't thank you for anything."
"You were thinking it."
"Stop being such a know-it-all."
"Well, maybe when you start actually saying thanks."
...god, have I mentioned how much I hate Sora yet?
"I appreciate you lending a helping hand back there," I say.
"...what?" Sora laughs. "Is thanking someone so hard for you?"
"No! It's just - something I'm not used to," I grumble, my voice trailing off towards the end.
"Well, better start practicing," he says as we reach the bonfire. The fire's kinda dying out, but I'm comfortable sitting on the nearby wooden bench.
"I'm gonna grab a towel, be right back," Sora says, standing up to leave.
I watch his back figure as he walks off. My eyes trail from him to the street vendor nearby. An idea strikes, and I head towards the locker area where I stashed my bag. Retrieving a 10-dollar bill, I walk up to the vendor and buy two hot drinks.
Damn, 5 bucks for each tiny cup of hot cocoa? Just how much profit is this guy turning? I'm almost reluctant to part with my money.
I scamper back as quickly as I can without spilling any of my precious 5-dollar liquid goodness. Taking a sip, I have to say...this is some shitty hot cocoa. I think I know what brand of powder he uses.
"Hey, I have an extra, you want it?" Sora says as he returns. I blink, looking up from my hot chocolate clutched in my two hands. Sora's holding out a towel for me, so I nod and he drops it next to me.
"...is that hot chocolate?" he asks.
"Mhmm."
"You...got two?"
"Mhmm."
"You're drinking both of them?"
"Mhmm - Sora, that one's for you!"
"Oh. Thanks," he stammers, taking the hot cocoa and sitting down.
"Yeah. Ditto, for this," I say as I lift the towel with one hand.
"No problem. Wouldn't wanna get sick when summer break's just starting."
"I'm just bumming around here anyways," I say. "Wouldn't miss anything important."
"Relaxing's nice. I wish I could just stay here and hang out with friends, but my mom always wants to travel."
"First world problems much?" I return. "I wish we could travel. My mom only gets like 2 weeks off though."
"I mean, I like traveling too. Traveling with my parents is...different."
"But who would you travel with then?" I ask. "Your friends?"
"Yeah, or even by myself. I'm fine with that. Backpack across the country, or something."
"You'd end up as a hobo trying to hitchhike home."
"Wow, Kairi, have some faith."
"Just being honest."
"Well, be nice."
"I am nice. I bought you hot cocoa."
"Okay, fine, you are nice."
"Thanks. You too."
"...did you just thank me?"
"God!" I laugh at his incredulous tone. "Stop exaggerating! It's not like I never thank people for things! You make me sound like an ungrateful brat or something."
"You said it…"
"Sora!"
"Okay, okay!" he says, chuckling. "I'm just joking. Kinda. Not really, but - you get what I mean!" he hastily says when I send a fine glare in his direction.
"Have you always been such a joker?" I ask.
"You forgot 7th grade Halloween Bash?" he asks with a laugh. "I scared the pants off of Mrs. Thatcher with my Joker costume."
The sudden memory makes me throw my head back and laugh. "Oh my god, I remember! She genuinely screeched when you poked her shoulder and she turned around. It was so funny!"
"Right? Hey, I spent forever on that costume! Me and Riku - " I stiffen at Riku's name, but Sora either doesn't notice or just carries on, "were determined to win 'best couple costume' that night!"
"You guys lost to Xion and Roxas though," I point out.
"I swear, I think the judge - Mr. Peterson, right? - was homophobic or something, cause he kept giving me and Riku weird looks after we told him we signed up for the couples contest."
"Yeah, I heard they fired him a year later…"
We trail off into silence once more, listening to the dying crackles of the fire and sipping on our hot cocoas.
"So, speaking of Riku," Sora finally broaches the subject, much to my dismay, "I'll give you a chance to explain yourself. He's being all mopey these days cause of you, and it's honestly such a pain."
"Explain myself? I have nothing to explain. You should ask him!"
"I said, he's being all mopey and brooding and keeping to himself. So you're the next best option I have."
"I'm not gonna talk about my personal life just cause you asked, Sora."
"C'mon, gimme something. I'm getting worried. It's been like weeks and he's still acting super distant."
I'm so perplexed at this point that I end up speaking up. "But I'm the one who got dumped."
"...he dumped you? I thought it was mutual."
"Oh shit." That's supposed to be a secret. Just for my pride's sake, y'know? "It - " Sora's looking at me in earnest, and I can't come up with a feasible lie on the spot. "Yeah," I finally admit. "He wanted to break up."
"...oh. That's weird. But, uh, sorry."
"Don't say that, it's not your fault. It was between me and him. Things didn't work out."
"Yeah, I know. Still, sucks, and I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize!" I say, cause it's getting on my nerves more than I thought it would. My exclamation stuns Sora, and we're left awkwardly dwelling in the silence.
"...look," I say, trying to salvage the situation, "sorry if I'm acting, in lack of a better word, bitchy and all."
"You're not," Sora instantly says.
"Thanks," I mutter, even though I know I'm acting like a bitch. "It's still sorta recent for me, and I'm not...completely over it yet, I guess. So I'm still kinda upset."
"Yeah, of course. Sorry for bringing it up."
It's like he's broken a dam of some sort. I've been clamming up on these feelings related to Riku for some time now, cause I keep telling myself I can't let it take over my life. I've ranted to Naminé, but as the epitome of best listener, she could only nod understandingly and agree with me on everything. Plus, she's my best friend, so she's more or less biased. I want some hard feedback on whether I'm actually in the right or wrong.
"...isn't he kinda condescending sometimes?" I ask.
Sora blinks. "Who, Riku? Ha, yeah. He can sound kinda preachy sometimes."
"Right? Like he'll say what he thinks about something and insist he's right. But like, he's talking about me! Shouldn't I know myself better than he knows me?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess?"
"Of course! He just thinks he's sooooo smart and right all the time, and that really pisses me off, you know?"
"Uh, sure, but - "
"And I think sometimes he says stuff just to piss me off! Like who's he to say that I'm not all for this relationship? He doesn't see how much time and energy I put into planning dates and birthday gifts and surprise coffee runs. He's such an ass! He keeps assuming things like he's some sort of all-knowing god. You know what? I should just smack him in the face next time he makes one of his judgy accusations!"
I pause, heaving deep breaths from the unintentional rant. Sora quirks a brow.
"You feeling better?" he asks.
"No!"
"Okay...so you hate Riku."
"Yeah, I hate his guts!" Pause. "I mean, that's a little extreme I guess. I hate that he doesn't know how hurt I was after we broke up. I cried for like three nights, you know? And you said he's being mopey and brooding? That's like his default state! I...really liked him, and I still don't 100% understand why we broke up. This sucks."
The silence settles, because Sora obviously doesn't know what to say and I don't know what to say after all that. Did I just confide my feelings in Sora, of all people? There's a gaping hole in my chest from that feeling when you feel like you've just overshared and let down your guard too soon. I guess I had a lot more unresolved feelings than I realized.
"Kairi, here you are!" Naminé exclaims, running up to us and thankfully breaking the awkward silence. "They're setting off the fireworks soon, let's go!"
"Huh, what?"
"The fireworks across the bay! C'mon, this is like the best part of the night! I have my camera and everything all ready! Oh sorry," Naminé pauses, "were you guys talking?"
"Let's go!" I exclaim, ignoring her question and Sora entirely as I jump to my feet and drag her away. In that instant, the only thing I can think of is leaving Sora and this entire vulnerable moment behind me.
And that, my friends, is what I've thereby aptly termed 'the bonfire incident.' It's a memory I loathe to remember, and I cringe everytime I do. Honestly, if I really think about it, the skinny-dipping or getting jeered by my classmates wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was when I accidentally bared it all to someone - not to a complete stranger, but Enemy No. 1. My best hope was that this never came up again.
Of course, nothing in your past really stays buried.
A/N: Just some fun facts for you all! 'The bonfire incident' is a little blurb I wrote out when I had writer's block. It helped me really see the difference between Kairi at the beginning of the story and towards the end. The personality tests stuff at the beginning is just something I'm a nerd about, and I thought I'd share how I try to flesh out my characters.
Last but not least, thank you to everyone for this incredible journey. I also realized I cannot count and this fic has actually taken 4 years instead of 3 - but we've made it! I'm so grateful to all the readers and reviewers for accompanying me on this ride, and I hope this story has been as fun for you as it was for me to write. I'm hoping to share some new works with you guys in the future, too! But for now, I hope you've enjoyed Iridescent.