THE SHADOWS OF MY PAST

Chapter Eighteen – Interludes

Timeline – Winter 1951

I looked through the files repeatedly, doing my best to see if I have missed anything. Was there common ground that the four victims have shared – Kataniwa Miya, Kabuto Emiko, Sanders Francis, and Pedroni Angelica?

Save for the fact that the victims' souls have still not appeared before Enma-DaiOh-sama for judgment, there was no other commonality that I could clearly see in the victims. Such realization drove me to the deeper depths of frustration as the minutes passed by. After being on this self-prescribed task for a while, I feel as if I was on the losing end in a race against time as well as the killer that I have been tracking down all this time.

Something is missing. I would not be surprised if that missing component was something blatantly obvious. That something would make anyone feel utterly stupid once the entire truth would be revealed in all clarity.

Yes, I did say the word killer or killers. As much as the victims and their deaths appeared as if they were suicide, I strongly believe that these poor individuals have been killed.

I do not know what made this case most frustrating. Major pieces to this mystery were still missing. Second, the thought of another death happening because I missed an integral clue made me cringe and sick to my stomach. Third, this case had occupied most of my professional and personal time since its inception as well as my sleeping and waking hours.

Come to think of it, I have not had a decent day off or holiday in ages. Today would be the first in a very long time to enjoy such leisure, but I would do so once I finish finding at least one important piece or clue – whatever it might be.

"Are you trying to be in sync with the wall clock, Seii? Keep it up and you'll wear out the other end of your pencil."

I definitely know who the owner of that familiar voice was, although my mind took a very long time to register as to who it was. I shook my head and rubbed my fingers against my forehead, as if I was making an effort to shake away the cobwebs from my sleep-deprived brain.

"Please don't tell me," I thought as I closed my eyes, silently hoping that it was not already three in the afternoon. If it was, I would be in trouble for habitually breaking my promise. Pushing the glasses closer to the bridge of my nose and gazing at the wall clock, I took a deep breath and let out a tired sigh.

The time was five-thirty in the afternoon and it seemed that nearly everyone had gone home.

I took in another deep breath before facing Asato, my three o' clock appointment…or more specifically my date. What made me feel guiltier was the fact that beyond the gentle reminders for me to take a break or not to overexert my body, Asato had been understanding and patient most of the time.

On times wherein Asato should be greatly frustrated with me, his response was mostly this puppy-eyed or childlike pout along with his gentle reminders to be kinder to my body. On instances wherein I snapped at him and apologized later on for doing so, he still demonstrated much patience and empathy towards me. Such incidents were testaments on how good-natured Asato was as well as how blunt I could possibly be.

I took off my glasses, rubbed the bridge of my nose, wore my glasses again, and then gazed at a softly smiling Asato. "Did everyone in the office leave for the day already?"

Asato's smile exuded this warm and gentle glow when he replied, "Seii, you've been the only one in the office since the crack of dawn. It's Christmas Eve. Today's not a work day. It's a holiday, remember? I came here to pick you up, see how you're doing, and if you need help on anything."

I stand corrected, then. Everybody in the office save for me had already gone home…since five o'clock yesterday afternoon. Have I been that preoccupied, oblivious, and forgetful?

My gaze rested easier on Asato, that smile of his helping ease the stress that had built up inside me for the past week and most especially today. The most that my tired brain and overexerted body could muster was a tightlipped smile. "I lost track of time and the day. I'm late again for our date. I'm sorry."

Asato's smile became warmer still as he leaned against the doorway. "Don't worry about it, Seii. It's Christmas Eve. Take a break, even just for today and tomorrow. Even workaholics need a break every now and then."

"But…"

Just when I thought that Asato's voice or demeanor would not be gentler than it was a second ago, it just did as he interjected, "Come on, Seii. No ifs, and, or buts. You promised to take a break. Please don't do it for me, but do it for you. You and I have agreed to two weeks off starting today, remember?"

After releasing another tired sigh, I gazed into Asato's amethyst eyes as I took a couple of seconds to ponder about his proposal, reminder, or whatever one might call it.

Asato's eyes reflected his feelings so clearly. There was no puppy-eyed look begging me to let him have his way. There was no friendly reminder disguised in gentle and playful teasing. His eyes reflected concern and longing as well as his innate desire to give as much as he could of whatever he had within him to help another, most especially someone he loved.

Yes, I see in those amethyst eyes as to how much their owner loved me, worried over me, longed for me, and felt so helpless that all that he could do to assist me was to give me gentle reminders such as the one he just now gave.

After letting out a subtle sigh and then smiling at Asato softly, I closed the folder that was in front of me. "Just give me a few minutes to gather my things. After that, we'll drive to your place and then go straight to Chijou. From there, we'll start our date…our holiday."

"Really..? Do you need help with your things, your files?" asked Asato with a hopeful smile, his eyes reflecting his feelings so transparently before me.

It warmed my heart to see Asato smile, so I did my best to reciprocate with the warmest smile that I could possibly muster in my exhausted state while I replied, "Yes, really. I'll take care of my things. I'll hurry. I don't want to keep you or our holiday waiting any longer."

A happily teary-eyed Asato nearly tackled me, with him giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

In turn, I hugged Asato and kissed him passionately on the lips. With a heartfelt smile, I told him after I wiped the tears away from his eyes with my handkerchief, "Thank you for being so understanding through all of this. I owe you much more than just a holiday or two together."

Asato smiled back, withdrawing from me as quickly as he hugged me. He also stepped back a few feet away from me, giving me room to collect all my belongings and wrap up my workday as swiftly as I could.

Thank goodness that Asato and I were able to arrive just in time for our reservation at the Chanticleer, a fine and newly-opened restaurant in Nagasaki that offered an eclectic menu. The restaurant was first class, the tasteful European-inspired décor complemented perfectly against mahogany walls, crystal chandeliers, and hardwood floors.

The maître d', a gentleman in his fifties dressed in a black tuxedo, escorted us to our table with two menus tucked under his arm.

I smiled inwardly from seeing the pleasantly shocked expression written in Asato's face. His eyes scanned the surroundings as we followed the headwaiter's lead. His reaction was my confirmation that I made a good choice by choosing this restaurant. I was glad especially since I considered tonight to be a special occasion along with the fact that I saved up money for this.

Plus, I have much to make up for after I have broken promise after promise for many months now.

Navigating through the restaurant, the maître d' motioned us to our table once we arrived at the reserved private room. After he lit up the candles at our table, which added warmth to the rich ambiance, he then said, "Your server will come very soon to take your orders, gentlemen. Please enjoy your meal with us."

Once we enjoyed a few minutes of privacy as we browsed through our respective menus and pondered on what we wanted to have for dinner, I looked across the table and asked, "Much better, don't you think?"

My lover's warm grin was from ear to ear, showing the purity of his nature. His tone was laced with gentle, childlike excitement as he told me, "Much better… It's nice here, Seii. As much as I'm in love with this place, we didn't have to go here. You know me very well. I would still be happy even if we dine in a less expensive restaurant."

Feeling considerably less stressed than a couple of hours ago, I smiled back. "I'm glad that you like it here. . Since I took on that case for Enma-Cho, we haven't had a date wherein we were both relaxed to fully enjoy our time together. I missed times such as this with you. I wish that we had more of this time together. Don't worry about how expensive this place might be. We only go to places such as this once in a blue moon. After all, I have much to make up for. I owe you a lot."

Asato pursed his lips, his amethyst eyes exuding such enthralling warmth due to the candlelit setting. "The last time I checked, you're the one gifted in accounting – not me. You don't owe me anything because I'm not taking count."

"At times, especially lately, I feel that you should've taken count."

Our conversation had to be paused upon our waiter's arrival. He took our orders and once he left, Asato said to me, "Seii, don't feel guilty. You don't owe me anything. Don't even think about it anymore. We're here and we're together."

The last statement that Asato made triggered in my head. I gazed into his eyes and then told him, "Speaking of together, we're going on for almost three years now. Two weeks from now is our three-year anniversary. Time surely flies, doesn't it, Love?"

Asato blinked for a couple of seconds, and his eyes lit up with such nostalgic joy. "Yeah, it sure does. I'm glad that you remember."

"Oh, you're surprised that I remember because I've been so busy? I wouldn't forget something as important as our anniversary." I then gave Asato a teasing smirk, relaxing against my chair and watching his reaction when I asked, "Give me some credit, Asato. As busy as I've ever been, have I ever forgotten our anniversary since we've been together?"

I knew that teasing Asato would make him blush. It was fun doing that, especially making him blush more as he tried to backpedal his way out of the statement he just made by explaining, "I… No, you haven't. You never have forgotten it. I didn't mean it like…"

"Didn't mean it like…?"

Asato, by this time, looked so unsettled in his seat. Each second that passed made him redder. "Well…you know…"

Once a good five minutes had passed after watching Asato stammer and reason his way out of the conversation manhole, I personally declared that I had my fun already with him. It made me feel a bit awful to tease Asato, but how could I possibly resist?

I reached out and held his hand from across the table. In a calm and reassuring tone, I told him with a grin, "I'm just kidding, Love. I know that you don't mean it that way. I'm looking forward to our anniversary, just as always."

"You can be so mean at times," complained Asato with a pout and then let out a semi-relieved sigh once I gave him a warmer smile.

After letting out a soft chuckle, I asked Asato with a smile as I squeezed his hand more affectionately, "Forgive me?"

With a lighthearted tone, Asato said, "Of course I forgive you...as mean as are… You're right. You do owe me, so you better make up for it starting tonight. And I'm not just talking about dessert."

Another amused smile escaped from my lips. "Oh, don't worry. I'll make it up to you as much as I can in so many ways. You can count on that."

"Good. I'll hold you up to it. I won't let you go that easily this time."

Our conversation soon drifted to other matters – none of it related to work or any other worries that Asato or I would possibly have. Our dinner then arrived and was complemented with more cheerful conversation, a shared bottle of wine, innocent teasing, and innuendos.

This time together with Asato was just what I needed, especially since Mako-san was still away on a mission or a series of missions. Thankfully our holiday together was unraveling smoothly, starting upon our arrival at the restaurant. There was much more in store for us. This time around, I would make sure that my wishes of spending time with my special someone would turn into reality instead of another link to a long chain of broken promises.

"Seii, is there something special that you want for your birthday?"

I blinked for a minute and then realized that my birthday was also coming up, December 27th to be exact. In fact, it was only three days away. I then replied to Asato with a smile, "I just want to be together with you. I don't have anything particular or specific in mind."

"Oh, okay. Let me see…."

I then saw Asato become so enthusiastic, his amethyst eyes lighting up with such animation. I know that look – the look that told me that a deluge of wonderful birthday ideas were about to pour out from his brain and now he was trying to figure out what things he would like to do this year for my birthday.

A minute later, I saw a particular gleam in Asato's eyes – one that was fueled by such inspiration, passion, and joy. I definitely know that look, and so my heart raced and then I cringed. There were occasions when I saw that particular gleam in his eyes, and I remember vividly what happened next. So before he got too inspired, I told him flatly, "Let me stand corrected here. There is something particular in my mind that I don't want to happen for my birthday this year. I don't want you to cook anything during our holiday."

Asato looked as if he was about to cry when he whined to me, "But I was perfecting this new recipe–"

My stomach felt as if it had instantaneously turned raw once memories of that God-awful cooking all came flooding back to me. I gazed into his eyes and told him, "How can I break this to you gently, Love? I don't want you to cook. Please don't cook or bake anything. That's the birthday gift that I want, so promise me that you won't get overly ambitious by making me a special meal."

"But-"

"No ifs, ands, and buts, Asato. Promise me that you won't cook anything during our holiday?"

With a heavy sigh and a prominent pout, Asato replied, "Fine…no cooking. You can be just so plain mean at times. Your birthday is only once a year and it's not that you're going to die from my cooking. What happened to you that one time was just a fluke, trust me."

"Shinigami don't die, or at least don't die easily. I'm not even remotely interested to see what it would take for us to die. All that I want is a peaceful holiday with you. We'll eat out and I'll cook, so don't worry about pleasing me with your cooking."

"But I've gotten better, honest," said a teary-eyed Asato with a gentle voice while a childlike pout still escaped from his lips.

"I've made up my mind, Asato. I said no," was my reply as I pushed the glasses closer to the bridge of my nose, my gaze not escaping Asato.

Asato was upset in a childlike fashion, something similar to a child withheld from freely romping inside a toy store or sadly finding out that his fondest wish would not be given. But should I make him happy and as a result resign my body to at least a week's worth of food poisoning?

I think not.

Seeing Asato pouting and sad, I chuckled a bit and gently smiled at him. I reached out and rested my hand on his hand, explaining to him, "If you're looking for a way to please me and make this holiday special, let us just focus on enjoying each other and doing things together. Please don't be upset with me. I feel more comfortable being the chef. That has always been my role ever since I was a child."

"All right, I won't cook. I just wanted to do something special," said Asato as he squeezed my hand in gentle reassurance.

The smile that I have given Asato was warmer and softer as I felt better once I saw him smile. "You don't have to do anything to make me feel special. Being with you already puts me in that state of mind."

After telling Asato those words while looking into his eyes, it was my turn to reciprocate by affectionately squeezing his hand. If we were not in a public place, I would have just done what I had in mind – to give him a lingering, passion-infused kiss.

With a suggestive smile, I asked Asato as I had my right index finger ghost over the back of his hand, "After dinner, why don't we return home? Catch up on things we've missed…?"

My grin became warmer still as I saw Asato blush a bit and nodded for his response.

Dinner was soon over after dessert and good conversation between Asato and me. By the time that we walked out of the restaurant, I felt relaxed and ready for that much-anticipated holiday that he and I were looking forward to. I took in a breath of fresh cold winter air and filled my lungs, then exhaled.

"Let us go?" asked Asato as he glanced my way, his hands burying in his pockets once we were outside.

Meeting his gaze and then smiling at him, I replied, "Of course. You don't have to tell me twice."

"Sempai! Tatsumi-san! Wait up, please!" cried out a semi-familiar voice as I was about to follow Asato at the inconspicuous dead-end corner that he and I normally used as a portal between Chijou and Meifu, the two of us now feeling free to hold hands by this time since we figured that no one pay attention to us.

I turned around, startled as I saw Kouya Isa running towards me and waving her right hand while her left hand carried a couple of shopping bags. I stopped my walk, with Tsuzuki standing right behind me.

Isa tried to catch her breath once she stood before me, still managing to smile and genially giving me a bow. After the formality, she said, "It's so nice to see you! I'm buying gifts for my nieces and nephews. It's Christmas, after all. What are you doing – "

The young woman then blushed a bit as she took her gaze away from the hand that clung on to Asato's hand. She hurriedly took another bow and apologetically told me, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I didn't know that you have company with you." She then straightened up and smiled at Asato, "I'm very pleased to meet you. Please forgive me for intruding with your time together. My name is Kouya Isa. I work with Tatsumi-san at Holy Innocents' Academy. He's mentoring me since I'm just new at my teaching job."

Asato was blanched, stammering a bit. "I'm…Tsuzuki Asato. I'm very pleased to meet you as well. You're not interrupting at all."

"Well, I'm glad that I'm not intruding. I just wanted to say hi to Sempai here and wish him a Merry Christmas. And since you're with Sempai, I wish you a Merry Christmas too," said Isa with a warm grin in her face, that familiar aura of kindness that she always radiated since we first met being strongly felt at this time.

My heart clenched a bit, wondering what prompted Asato's rather oddly-toned response in spite of Isa's warm and amicable greeting. Was he getting jealous? I did mention Isa to him.

Then I stopped for a minute and thought, "Wait a minute, did I ever tell Asato about Isa? Oh, no. I guess not. No wonder. Well, I'll straighten it out on our way home."

My mind wandered a bit for a few minutes. When I blinked to clear my thoughts, I did not realize that Asato and Isa were talking about how Isa planned to spend her Christmas with her large family during the school break.

Isa smiled and gazed into my eyes. "Speaking of family, I have to head home. I promised to help Mother cook for tonight's supper and I need to wrap these gifts. It is so nice to meet you, Tsuzuki-san. I hope to see you again with Sempai. One of these days, I will invite both of you to my home."

"Sure. Have a good school break," said Asato with a warm grin, his voice now having the usual warmth that he was well-known for.

Asato and I then waved goodbye at Isa, the latter enthusiastically waving back. We watched her turn around and then hurried back to her original path, the two of us not moving from our spot until she disappeared.

Once again, I felt a certain heavy air return…the same one that I felt when Isa first approached us. I glanced at Asato, seeing that he was tightlipped and deep in thought. He then told me, "Let us head back home, Seii. We need to talk about her."

I calmly explained to Asato as we disappeared, crossed the portal between Chijou and Meifu, and then re-appeared at the park nearby Asato's place, "She's only a good friend. She, in fact, reminds me of my sister Inari. You don't have to worry about anything."

Blinking a bit since he was caught off-guard with what I just told him, Asato weeded through his thoughts then realized the context of my explanation to him. He then told me, "Seii, I'm worried about your friend Isa and so should you."

Frowning a bit as I unlocked Asato's apartment with the spare key that he had given me a while back, I inquired, "Why?"

With that grim demeanor still there, Asato said, "She wasn't supposed to see me or see me holding hands with you."

"I still don't quite get what you're trying to tell me, Asato. It doesn't matter to me if she, or anyone, has seen us holding hands. She's just a friend from my assignment. She's a good person."

Asato did not budge from his spot at the doorway of his apartment when he stressed out, "I was already in shinigami form when I turned around that corner, Seii…yet she was still able to see me and even introduce herself to me."

My forehead crinkled and my eyes narrowed as I closed the door behind us without having my gaze leave Asato. "Well, she caught a glimpse of you before we were about to leave Chijou."

A tightlipped Asato shook his head. "I was in shinigami form all that time, Seii…from the time that she caught your attention up to the time that we parted ways from her. I was too startled to even remember to change back into my human form. I'll check the kiseki for you and see if her name is there. Do you know if she's psychic? Clairvoyant, perhaps…?"

Still shaking my head a bit, I asked, "The kiseki? The Book of the Dead…? I really don't understand why you're so alarmed about it."

"I keep forgetting that you've never worked in the field just as I've been doing all these years. You're still fairly new and you're not familiar with the way that shinigami operate. How are you supposed to know what I'm specifically worried about?"

Asato then added as he saw my confused expression, "She wasn't supposed to have seen me in shinigami form unless she is listed in the kiseki."

My eyes then went wide and my chest tightened when he grimly nodded, acknowledging that I was now on the same page as he was. "Yes, Seii…. Unless she is supernaturally gifted or is about to die, she's not supposed to see a shinigami in true form. Humans are only supposed to see a shinigami when they're marked for death."

End Chapter Eighteen

Author's Notes

Ah, what is this fic all about...

Little is known of Tatsumi Seiichiro's past - not just to us fans, but also to his fellow YnM characters.

Using the pieces of information provided by YnM's mangaka as well as my imagination, this fic is my attempt to fill in those many "holes" about his past. This fic is also my interpretation on why he is the person that we know, love, and fawn over as YnM fans.

By the way, the timeline for this fic is after the Gensoukai story arc. Since Gensoukai is still pending, I'm going to take the position that the Gensoukai arc is over, Hisoka succeeds in getting the powerful dragon shikigami, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki – even though they are in more comfortable terms now – still have unresolved differences from Tatsumi's prior dumping of Tsuzuki, and Tatsumi and Watari's relationship becomes deeper and more intimate.

Readers who have been following this story will find this chapter to be a rather abrupt turn from the pace that it had been enjoying. There is a rhyme and reason for this, so please have patience.

Secondly, one may notice that some of the names in this chapter sound familiar. Yes, their names appeared in Apocalypse Rising - another Yami no Matsuei fanfic that I have been working on. One does not need to read Apocalypse Rising to understand what is going on in this fic since this fic stands alone.

For avid readers of Kyoto Files Revisited and Apocalypse Rising, I strongly believe that the "continuity" between the three fics is a nice treat. Please watch out for the upcoming sequel to Apocalypse Rising which will be published simultaneously with the second of a two-part final chapter for Apocalypse Rising.

Happy reading and many thanks.

PJ Zatken

Normal Disclaimer

Yami No Matsuei (Descendants of Darkness) and its characters are copyrighted properties of Matsushita Yoko. This fan fiction and the minor original characters that appear within this fan fiction belong to PJ Zatken.