YAMI NO MATSUEI

THE SHADOWS OF MY PAST

Chapter Twenty-Two – The Gallows of Fate

To the Reader

For those who are not familiar with Yami no Matsuei (YNM) or Descendants of Darkness, this anime/manga series is shounen-ai (guy/guy relationships or suggestions of such). This entire fan fiction has a PG-13 rating due to its content and keeping in line with how the actual anime and manga are rated.

Timeline of this fanfic

Little is known of Tatsumi Seiichiro's past – not just to us fans, but also to his fellow YnM characters.

Using the pieces of information provided by YnM's mangaka as well as my imagination, this fic is my attempt to fill in those many "holes" about his past. This fic is also my interpretation on why he is the person that we know, love, and fawn over as YnM fans.

By the way, the timeline for this fic is after the Gensoukai story arc. Since Gensoukai is still pending, I'm going to take the position that the Gensoukai arc is over, Hisoka succeeds in getting the powerful dragon shikigami, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki - even though they are in more comfortable terms now – still have unresolved differences from Tatsumi's prior dumping of Tsuzuki, and Tatsumi and Watari's relationship becomes deeper and more intimate.

Readers who have been following this story will find this chapter to be a rather abrupt turn from the pace that it had been enjoying. There is a rhyme and reason for this, so please have patience. Secondly, one may notice that some of the names in this chapter sound familiar. Yes, their names appeared in Kyoto Files Revisited (KFR), Apocalypse Rising (AR) and Ragnarok Descends (RD) – three other Yami no Matsuei fanfics that I have been working on.

There is another TatWari fanfic in my inventory – The Beginning of a Beautiful Relationship…or Not (BBR) – which shows how Tatsumi and Watari became an item before the events told in Chapter One of this fic. This fic also might have references trailing back to 3

One does not need to read KFR, AR, or RD to understand what is going on in this fic since this fic stands alone. For avid readers of KFR, AR, and RD, I strongly believe that the "continuity" between the three fics and this one that you are about to read is a nice treat.

Additionally, one does not need to read BBR to understand this fic, but readers would be able to see, empathize, and appreciate the reasons which led Tatsumi to travel back to his past and relive the pain – and the major part of those reasons have to do with Watari and Tatsumi's desire to make their relationship work and last.

Happy reading, Happy New Year, and thank you so much for your patience in waiting very long for this story update.

Disclaimer

By the way, I do not own Yami no Matsuei and its lovable characters. However, I do own this fic and Chief Satori and other original characters.

Please sit back and enjoy reading. I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this and the fics that I have been writing. Let me know what you think via reviews (especially if there are things that can be improved for the subsequent chapters, or things that you would like to keep or see as the story progresses.

Timeline – December 25, 1951 to December 26, 1951

It was the late evening of Christmas, and Mako-san was not yet home. By this time, Kacho went home with a promise to return the following morning. Meanwhile, I invited Asato to sleep over.

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling…thinking, waiting, and worrying about Mako-san and why he had not returned yet without a word regarding his whereabouts. Ever since I have known him, the old man had never missed an appointment or most especially commitments involving family or close friends without any notice.

Unless something happened that caused delay…. Something that Mako-san had no power in preventing, and he had so much to give in terms of determination, power, and fight. I knew that I was uneasy to say the least, not just because my heart and mind knew this, but I could see my errand shadows flickering about as a mirror to that great worry bubbling inside me.

My glance then went sideways, looking at the Asato who slept peacefully all this time.

I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing myself to smile…a consolation that I indulged on that helped ease my worries. He and I have been together for almost three years, and our three-year anniversary was coming up in a week. Ever since our relationship began, we normally wait in opening our Christmas gifts on our anniversary – that, and of course any anniversary gifts to each other. Then, per Asato's insistence, the last gift was for me to open for my birthday.

I do hope that Asato would like what I got him for Christmas and especially our anniversary. As I swept the unruly strands of hair from his face, my mind's eye replayed parts of my life that I shared with him.

Gazing at that handsome, innocent face warmed my heart, reminded me of how blessed I was, and that I could not think of an existence without him in my life. I did not wish to bother his sleep, and so I did everything that I could…being careful studying every detail which I had done for three years and counting whenever opportunity permitted.

Eventually, I could not help it. I leaned forward and planted a lingering kiss on Asato's lips as he slept.

Soon, the kiss between us deepened when Asato stirred from his sleep and reciprocated the gesture. The shared kiss felt as if much-needed water trickled inside a bone-dry well of needs…reassurance, security, comfort….

And most of all to love and be loved in return….

The kisses continued, now accompanied with feathering intimate touches, pushing the shared blanket aside, and the shedding of clothing. The needs of my heart and mind ached for fulfillment through my body. What encouraged me more was the many emotions that I had for Asato and what he was to me, and that my entire being needed…ached…fantasized…was willing to risk everything…lusted…for what was to happen next.

I gazed into Asato's eyes. Those amethyst eyes gazed back at me, so expressive and authentic in communicating in what was going on inside him. At the same time, those eyes of his had the power to strip me bare naked – exposing all the thoughts and feelings that were running rampant inside me. Those eyes changed expression, as their owner's emotions flowed within and served as a mirror to his soul.

I closed my eyes, Asato's touches, caresses, and our kisses stirring my senses even further as well as my body's needs. The heat coming from the innermost part of my being slowly but surely spread all over my body. Our kisses and touches, which started from affectionately innocent now escalated to the lustful and needy. I knew that I needed him. My needs are screaming for him. I wanted more. I would not stop until I am fulfilled.

And looking into those amethyst eyes consumed me even further, especially during lovemaking. During these intimate moments, Asato and I brought out to the figurative table what we needed from each other. My lover was a mystery always waiting to be unfolded each time we were together.

Mako-san told me much about my lover – the most powerful shinigami in Meifu in command of 12 shikigami and strong in a wide array of dark gifts and emotions. The same man commanded awe, respect, and envy from comrades, superiors, and enemies. The same man also had the kindest of hearts and refused to unleash all that he could give in terms of spiritual power.

This enigmatic lover, as always, shared himself to me in the most open and trusting of ways. In baring his soul to me, he bared mine as well. Before his eyes, I felt vulnerable, humbled, secured, loved, and euphoric all at the same time. To me, the old man and Asato were my anchors of strength. I could not picture enduring an existence, let alone existing, without them.

The teasing caresses and the kisses stemming from deep affection to insatiable lust continued as Asato and I took turns preparing each other, with Asato – as always – showing such consideration and love towards me. Meanwhile, my nails dug on Asato's skin as my needs demanded more. He and I pleasurably explored each other which eventually led us to the entrance and thrusts given and received…those trusts starting deep then the subsequent ones becoming harder, faster, and deeper to bring us closer to sating those needs. Nothing stopped until that euphoric peak was achieved wherein one filled the other…all accompanied with touches and caresses in the right places at the right time.

In one of our quiet moments after lovemaking, Asato asked as he and I lay naked under the covers, "Share your thoughts, please?"

I took in a deep breath, and I cuddled Asato closer to me…the fingers of my right hand were ghosting over his back. "I'm worried about Mako-san, Asato. This knot that I feel in my heart and my stomach…. The last time that I felt this way was when the old man was kidnapped…nearly killed."

"Was that the same day…?"

After letting out a sigh and giving my lover a small smile, "Yes…. I died that day, too …then became a shinigami. Since birth and until now, the old man's always been there in so many ways."

There were more thoughts running in my head that time about the day that I died – how dark that day was for me, how I took great pleasure in killing my enemy and those who stood with him, how sweet revenge tasted when I finally achieved it, how to this day I have no regrets, and how I foresee in my heart of hearts that I would never have regrets about what I did.

What made that day dark for me was the thick fear that chilled my chest and ran through my veins. It was not the fear of losing my life, but it was the fear of losing a loved one coupled with sadness due to the inevitability of hurting that same person. That day, I feared for Mako-san's life. As much as I have won that day for most of the part, the only regret that I had was I made the old man cry…sad…due to my death.

And now that the dread had come back full force inside my heart, why could I not open about that fear to the one who now lay beside me? My heart and my insides wanted to share what I felt, but I could not do so. It was not Asato's shortcoming which caused me not to share the full extent of what I feared…the fault was all mine.

I could see in those amethyst eyes that their owner knew and ached to hear my fears verbalized so that he, too, could share my pain and fears.

All that Asato did, though, was to give me a soft, reassuring smile…giving me full license if, and when, I wish to share my innermost thoughts and fears. "Let's hope for the best, Seii…. Mako-san's powerful. I have faith that he's fine…that there's an explanation on why he hasn't come home yet."

I nodded, taking in and letting out a deep breath to ease the knot on my chest. I gave Asato a kiss on the cheek, which was my way of saying that I would follow his advice and pray that all would be well…starting with Mako-san walking in the door at any given moment. I wanted the old man to come home so badly to the point that I did not care if he walked in my room and caught Asato and me naked under the covers as we speak.

Asato whispered in my ear as gently as he could, "I love you, Seii. I'll always be here for you…."

"And I love you, too, Asato…. You being here means a lot to me…."

The kiss that Asato planted on my cheek led to additional acts of affection. The one I loved with my all and I basked in the sensations that continued to ripple throughout our beings. The affectionate kisses and touches between us continued here and there, supple kisses and feathering caresses planted in the right places. Once the sated feelings rested and provided much-needed peace, I held Asato close to me…our naked bodies dangerously close to each other as we provided feelings of love, security, affection during the ministrations.

Asato and I were in understanding and full willingness to have that intimate cycle repeated throughout the night – not only for the promise of another euphoria, but also as a testament of what we mean to each other.

Timeline – December 27, 1951

"Did I wake you?"

I stirred from bed, smiling as I could feel warm lips kiss mine. I was more than happy to reciprocate those kisses, still naked under the covers with him. My hands wandered, ghosting over his skin.

Asato drew away from a couple of seconds, his fingers sweeping away unruly strands of hair that covered my eyes. "Happy Birthday, Seii…."

"Thank you… This is a nice way to wake up in the morning," I whispered, as I drew Asato closer to me once more.

The two of us took our time with everything…the kisses…the caresses…the touches…and all the pleasurable acts that built up to the end. It was a stirring start of our day and continuation of last night – making love, staying in bed a little longer in each other's arms, sharing a bath together, and spending more time together.

When Asato and I went out of my bedroom, I confirmed that Mako-san was still not home. It had been three days now since he stepped inside his own home.

Over the past three days, Asato stayed over at the house. As hard as it was, I managed to convince him not to cook for us at all. I welcomed the company, for it helped me stave off the desire to go crazy over worry. My worry over my missing father figure grew as every hour passed and grew further still as each day had passed.

Kacho stopped by every morning to get news. Each day, he shared whatever little news he received regarding Mako-san's last whereabouts. So far, since Mako-san left for his mission, no one had seen him save for the last one who he spent time with…and that was me.

Here I was celebrating my birthday today with one loved one missing. I would have been 32 years old today if I had continued to live.

I had a holiday both at EnmaCho and at Holy Innocents Academy. For a moment, I thought about Kouya Isa and prayed to the gods that she and her family were having a good holiday together. I also prayed for her safety, taking some solace that her name was not reflected on the kiseki at the Hall of Candles.

Knowing that I continued to worry over Mako-san, Asato proposed to stay at the house and let time pass idly while we waited

When I heard someone at the door, I nearly jumped up. As much as I welcomed Kacho's visits, my heart sank seeing him wave his hello as he came in the house…how I wished that it was Mako-san.

However, the longer that I stared at Kacho, something told me that his visit was other than a social call or regarding his still-missing friend. The three of us, just as we always did when the four of get together in this house, went to the receiving area and sat down together.

"Tatsumi, I hate to take you away from vacation or from your wait as Mako returns…." Kacho had a grim look in his face as he handed me a folder, adding, "The Earl informed me of your recent visit to the Hall of Candles, so I figured that you'd like to know this. There were names that appeared on the kiseki's pages this morning. This is for the Holy Innocents case that you've been handling alone. Look at the names listed on that print-out…."

Before I opened the folder, Kacho added, "I know that Tsuzuki and you are already partners, but you must handle this affair alone. I wish that Tsuzuki can come with you, but he can't…this is a classified case, and it's for your eyes only per Lord Enma. Tsuzuki and I will wait here for Mako to return, that is if you don't mind."

"Of course not, Kacho. I'm glad that you're here."

Asato blinked, and then told Kacho, "If I'm not going with Seii, I have nothing to do here…."

"Oh, yes you do – here…" said Kacho as he laid another folder on the table, this time in front of Asato. "You can read some of the information in this case…have a head start so that you and Tatsumi can hit the ground running on these cases."

I scanned through the pages inside the folder, my eyes narrowing and heart clenching hard. Still in disbelief, I glanced at Kacho who gave me a sadder expression – a confirmation that the reports that I was now reviewing were all true.

Pedroni Anthony

Mori Anzu

Satou Kenji

Cause of death – Car crash, non-accidental

Date of death – December 26, 1951

Status of Souls – Missing

Takeda Ryosuke

Itou Daisuke

Tanaka Koji

Fujikawa Seimei

Kouya Isa

Cause of death – PENDING

Date of death – December 27, 1951

Status of Souls – PENDING

"Thank you, Kacho! I have to go now - I'll be back!" I told Kacho and Asato, kissing Asato. I gazed deeply into his eyes and explained, "I have work to do, Asato. I'll be back...wait for me..."

Immediately after Asato nodded, I opened a portal. Destination - Chijou.

As my shadows took me to my destination, my thoughts focused on the pending souls – most especially on Kouya-san, with me repeating my fervent prayer to the gods, "Please keep her safe… Please…."

End of Chapter Twenty-Two