~ Kitty
Chapter 5: Alpenglow
…
"How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains!"
― John Muir, The Mountains of California
…
The terrain had changed dramatically since they first set foot on the taiga. Gone were the waving cottongrass balls and lush foliage of the river valley. The hillside, instead, was a vibrant collection of hardy alpine flora, with bright pinks and blues and deep red droplets budding from the tough, dry soil. Their boots crunched on dry lichen, their packs caught and snapped the dry, grasping twigs. They were coming back down to the river and as they descended, once again the plant life grew dense and the ground was soft and finally, the leading figure broke through the trees surrounding the open gravel bar. There was a brief moment of serenity where the world opened up for him, with a gleaming, sparkling brook spilling over clean, colorful stones nestled in the lush embrace of the tangled alders and willows. And then the fragile peace was shattered by a smashing and thrashing behind him and Inuyasha closed his eyes, suppressing a groan, before stepping forward, only to be shoved the rest of the way when a body fell heavily against his back.
"We're free!" Miroku exclaimed, huffing heavily against his neck. Inuyasha roughly spun around to dislodge the pest.
"Get off!"
"Are we at the river?" a female voice gasped behind him, its owner still shrouded by shrubbery.
"I think so," an optimistic tone responded, "Don't stop now!"
The pair of women burst from the bushes together, sprouting twin looks of relief to be free of the foliage. The little clearing was comfortably situated at the confluence of two small creeks, the sunlight scattering over the tumbling water.
"This our last water stop?" Kagome asked, catching her breath and staring up at him with bright, sunny eyes.
He hoped his pause wasn't too obvious as he blinked to break the spell of her gaze. There was just something so damned peppy about her smile whenever she looked up at him that froze his thoughts and made him momentarily dumb.
"Uh, yeah," he managed to stammer. He pursed his lips together and pressed on into the water, making for the little island in the center sporting a large flat rock. An entirely different discomfort than his initial gut reaction to seeing Kagome for the first time was developing inside him and it made him uneasy to share her company for too long. And despite the avoidance, he found himself hoping she wouldn't notice. Because despite the strange sensation of being thrown off center, he found himself gravitating towards her and her cheerful upbeat presence.
By this time, thankfully, Miroku seemed to run out of things to educate them about and there was an easy silence in the atmosphere as everyone set about preparing lunch. Little meal pouches were set to rehydrating and Inuyasha reclined atop the large boulder, absorbing the warm sun. There was some scrambling off to the side and he tried to discern which of his camping companions was encroaching on his respite. Soon a shadow was cast over his face and he cracked open a squinting hazel eye.
"What," he demanded.
Kagome grinned, giggling at his facade of dourness that he'd tried to maintain these last several days. By now his gruff demeanor didn't scare her and she'd grown a taste for this game of annoying him as Miroku loved to do.
"Scoot," she commanded, nudging his leg with her toe, "You look comfy."
He snorted. "So you want to ruin that?" He asked.
"No," she said, laughing, "I wanna share the rock."
"My rock," He said, spreading his arms and legs to cover the smooth, sloping surface. She glared down at him with narrowed eyes, the glitter in them belying that she wasn't truly put off by the action. Instead, she gave an exaggerated harrumph and shifted to drape herself over his stomach, an action that quickly brought all activity in his brain to come to a screeching halt.
Her back was warm where it lay over his abdomen. Every muscle in his torso was locked up tight as he struggled to catch up with what was happening. Her giggle was transmitted to him through their contact and his lungs burned.
"Ahhh," she sighed, "That's a nice back stretch."
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" He shouted, his voice bouncing down the valley. A short distance away, Sango and Miroku both turned startled heads to the boulder, wondering what sort of shenanigans what going on this time.
"Sharing the rock," Kagome answered innocently. Slowly remembering to breathe, his lungs lifted and dropped her gently, her weight settling further against him.
"This is a reeeeally comfy rock," she said teasingly.
Inuyasha gradually regained some little morsel of composure, enough to retort, "It was."
She had the gall to laugh.
"Ugh, get off woman!"
Laughing harder, Kagome rolled off to the side beside him. The rock was warm against her back and she lifted her arms above her head to stretch out the sore, tired muscles.
"Sharing is caring," she said.
Grunt.
Eventually, boots crunched on the gravel beside their rock as the rest of their party came to join them.
"Here's yer food," Sango said. Kagome smiled and sat up.
"Thanks!" She said, "Wanna hop here too?"
"Don't mind if I do!" MIroku chirped, throwing up his pouch so that in landed on Inuyasha's chest.
"Asshole!" Inuyasha growled, shoving the hot pouch aside.
"Oh come now, Inuyasha," Miroku said, sounding hurt, "And here I am, bringing you your food and this is how you thank me?"
"Asshole," Inuyasha repeated, low and under his breath, swiping the pouch from Miroku and sitting cross legged to eat. Miroku scrambled up the rock, plopping down beside Inuyasha, much to his chagrin. Kagome was happily digging into her meal.
"You were so right," she told Sango, "The pad Thai is definitely the best."
"Especially the new recipe."
There was a short silence filled with the sounds of spoons scraping plastic. Inuyasha finished first and escaped the overcrowded rock to start the fire. Miroku's eyes lit up with an idea and he nudged Kagome, busily folding his empty pouch. Winking at her, he glanced over to the figure hunched over the little pile of smoking wood.
"Hey roomie!" He called, "Incoming!"
With remarkable precision, Miroku launched his plastic folded plane toward Inuyasha, the point of the little missile poking Inuyasha at the base of his braid, sticking out like a little plastic flag.
"Oi!"
The trio on the boulder burst out laughing. Inuyasha glared at them, roughly grabbing the offending plastic and setting it ablaze. Still chuckling, Kagome slid off the rock and brought over hers and Sango's pouches.
"Hiya," she said.
Grunt
She only laughed and tossed the two finished pouches into the fire. Crouching beside him, she curiously watched the multicolored flames dance as it devoured the plastic, enjoying the heat radiating onto her face. He was watching her as she gazed into the fire, growing captivated as he took in the quietly shining amusement in her expression. Eventually, she sighed and stood, stretching her arms above her head and twisting this way and that.
"Nnnnngh!" She squealed, "One more hill climb to go!"
Turning to make herself useful, she headed back to their packs to pull out the water filter and top them all up for the final trek up the looming mountain pass. She glanced up at the looming uphill climb and grimaced, before groaning and moving to the waters edge. Kagome didn't notice, but two pairs of glinting, scheming eyes observed how Inuyasha's gaze followed Kagome as she moved to the creek and the slow, begrudging smile that spread across the normally sour face. Sango and Miroku eyed each other and smirked.
…
The ascent grew quickly steeper as they followed the creek that slowly tapered down to a meager trickle. And then it disappeared altogether, present only in the rushing tumble of water below the boulders they hopped and climbed over. In between the dilapidated boulder fields, the earth was a thin, deceptive blanket of moss and lichen that hid deep, jagged crevices between the rocks that were gradually being transformed into soil. It was hard walking, where a careless move could easily cause a fall. Inuyasha fell back to keep pace with Kagome again, bracing her each time a faulty step punched through the thin moss, causing her to yelp and latch onto him.
"You're fine, you're ok."
"This sucks," she pouted, her lower lip jutting out to emphasize her displeasure with the terrain. Even in her complaints, there was an air of playfulness and Inuyasha couldn't help himself and huffed a half smile, catching her again as she managed to find yet another unstable rock that threatened to sprain her ankle.
"Think you can carry me piggyback?" She tried to joke, blowing a strand of hair off her forehead.
He favored her with a chuckle, and then glanced up the opposite mountain peak. He suddenly sprouted a bright eyed smile, tapping her shoulder to get her attention.
"Look," he said, pointing.
The sun was low in the sky and its golden light transformed the jagged mountain rock into a fiery emblem, bold as it reached for the sky. His ears savored her gasp of delight and a flutter rippled through his stomach to feel her hands grip his arm. The cliff face was stunning, every bit alive as a fire and Kagome swore she felt it breathe, as though it had a pulse just like her. And as she watched, its color changed, from fiery gold, to a brilliant orange-red as the sun dipped slightly beyond the horizon.
"That. Is. Amazing!" She exclaimed breathlessly, before turning to shout to Sango and Miroku to look as well.
Newly energized, she turned to Inuyasha. "Ok," she said, "Let's conquer this pass!"
There was much huffing and puffing as they moved up the nearly vertical incline. The rock beneath them was volcanic, black in color and hollow, creating a collection of musical tones as it bumped and scratched against each other while bearing their weight. And far, far beneath them, the sounds of mountain spring water rushed down to the stream, slowly eroding and grinding at the stones, bringing the mineral enriched waters to feed the valley. Every now and then, Kagome liked to pause and stare at the dazzlingly illuminated rock face across from them as though it provided her strength.
As remote as they were, with only a single minded mission of reaching a particular set of GPS coordinates, life was whittled down to simple things. Breathing in the clean mountain air, and the feel of the rough rock they were scrambling up, freshly sheared from the mountainside. Tough little mountain plants clung to that rock, stubborning eking out a living drawing minimal nutrients from the hard surface and one had to admire their tenacity for life. As they grew and died, they would lay down the foundation for richer life to follow them. The air was wet and cold and smelled rich with both live and decaying plant matter. Inuyasha's breath rushed in and out of his lungs easily, creating small wispy clouds around his face and all tension was gone from his body. There was only the next foothold for his feet to find and trust his weight against. His eyes were only concerned with placement for his next step, or to assist the girl in front of him as she teetered and tottered her way.
"You're fine. You're ok. I've got you."
She paused for breath, leaning against an arm he lent her. Her grip on his hand was tight and shaking. Her breathing was fast and her eyes gleamed from the exercise. She smiled up at him, her expression bright with exhilaration.
"We're so high up!" She said, glancing down the ravine. He glanced down with her, preparing to voice his agreement when his eyes spotted movement down below.
"Shh," he whispered, shifting to retrieve his binoculars. The laser focus of his expression and sudden absence of movement had her positively thrilling with anticipation. Kagome held perfectly still, hardly breathing, as she anxiously waited. Inuyasha stared through the magnifying lenses for an excruciatingly long minute, staring at a distant brown rock. She squinted in the direction he pointed the ocular device, straining to make out whatever it was he'd spotted. Did the rock shift? Or a trick of the light? At this distance was hard to tell.
And then a head of antlers rose up from the brown rock and suddenly Inuyasha was staring at a stately young caribou, full rack of antlers arching proudly overhead, a silvery sheen highlighting its branches as the dim daylight caught on the fine velvet.
"Look," He whispered to the girl beside him. Carefully aiming the binoculars, he brought an arm around her shoulders to steady her as she eagerly peered through. Shortly after, she gasped, catching sight of the proud arctic creature. A small hand came up to his chest and he shivered from the contact.
"Wow," she breathed, her voice soft and awed and very, very close. Her hand shifted and patted his sternum rapidly.
"He's looking right at us!" She whispered excitedly, "Can he see us?"
He allowed a soft half smile to cross his face and his chest heaved in a humored laugh.
"Nah, I don't think he can see us," he answered her softly, his voice low and deep in his chest. He found himself tracing the lines of her profile with his eyes, then admiring the gleam of her braided hair that framed her face. His arm flexed unconsciously, drawing her shoulders firmer against his body. Just then, she seemed to come aware of how close they were standing, turning her head quickly so that their breath overlapped.
The world around them held still for that brief little moment. Neither had bathed in days and their skin was sticky with sweat and dirt. Inuyasha had a dark patchy collection of stubble reclaiming his chin and cheeks and Kagome's face was blotchy from a developing sunburn. But none of these details would come back as they each reminisced on this memory. They would only remember the warmth where their bodies pressed against the other and the depths of each other's eyes as they wordlessly searched the other's expression. Weeks and months later, Inuyasha would ponder back on that moment and wonder, what was the question her dark brown eyes seemed to be asking him.
A gust of wind blew up from the valley and the moment was broken. Kagome coughed self consciously and timidly stepped back, out of his arms. He sniffed, briskly tucking the binoculars away in an effort to hide the confusing disappointment flooding his chest. When he glanced up again, she was biting her lip nervously, her eyes glancing at the scenery beyond him.
"Guess we should catch up with Sango and Miroku," she muttered, before returning her attention to their arduous trek.
At some point in their long and tedious ascent, the diffused remaining daylight was obscured by cloud cover, and gusty chilled winds began to tug at their jackets and hair. The cold air hit her lungs like a physical strike and she tried to remember to breathe through her nose in an effort to prepare it before it hit her lungs. Weather changed quickly in the mountains, and the shift in atmosphere seemed to come in the span of a single breath. Blustery and ominous, as though the mountains were suddenly aware of how easy the travelers have had it, the air around them began to promise rain. It was under a shroud of moist, gray mist that the little caravan of heavily laden hikers managed to crest the high mountain pass.
…
"Tonight I'm peeing on this side," Miroku announced, marching toward the valley they'd just come from. He set his feet and fiddled with his zipper.
"Tomorrow, I pee on the other!" Sango rolled her eyes before turning to Kagome.
"I'm gonna go to bed," she said, downing the last of her hot chocolate, "You sure you don't need my extra down jacket?"
Kagome waved off her friend, hunching her shoulders to ward off the chill. She hoped her sleeping bag would be warm enough for the temperatures but she wasn't about to deprive her friend of an extra layer of warmth. Sango shrugged before turning to slip inside her tent. Without trees or bushes, there was no hope of a fire up here and Kagome sorely missed it. Instead, she rubbed her cold fingers along the sides of her mug, trying to glean some minimal warmth from the hot beverage. They'd huddled together for a celebratory drink, cheerfully announcing that it would be all downhill from here. Camp at the top of the pass was less than ideal. While the top turned out to be surprisingly wide and flat, it was rocky and exposed, and much time was spent deciding where the tents should go. The sky was gray and getting grayer and Kagome nervously tried to read the clouds for rain, hoping she'd set up her tent correctly to stay dry.
Through the discussions and nervous preparations, Inuyasha lounged comfortably against his pack. His tarp was weighed down with a handful of rocks and though Kagome was rather dubious about his camp set up, he seemed unconcerned about the approaching shower. Now as Sango and Miroku retired into their tent, it was just the two of them and Kagome found herself wanting to stretch out this private moment as long as she could. She shifted to curl herself into a tighter ball around her mug, all the while eyeing the dark haired man. How he could be immune to the cold, foggy evening was baffling to her, as well as how he could appear so comfortable, laying back on the uneven, rocky surface. There was an unconscious elegance to his stance and movements, the hallmarks of someone completely at home in this harsh and testing habitat. He reclined with his legs akimbo with his eyes cast down to scan the valley, and it called to mind the image of some apex predator surveying his territory. In one hand, he swirled the hot cocoa, making a face at the dark liquid before taking a swig.
"You don't like chocolate?" She asked him, breaking the silence. He eyes flicked over to her and a thrill shot up her spine. He had a very direct stare and this time, he wasn't glaring or glowering or sneering. And then the hint of a smile curled the corners of his lips and squinted around his eyes and Kagome smiled back at him.
"It's not my favorite," he answered her, "Too sweet."
"Not into sweets?"
He glanced back down at the drink, wrinkling his nose. "It coats your tongue," he said, "Can't taste for shit afterwards."
Kagome frowned, before raising an eyebrow in amusement. "Why's that so bad?" She asked.
He shifted and sat up straighter. "You gotta be careful what you eat out here," he said, "And taste can tell you a lot about a plant."
"Oh, like if something's poisonous?"
He grunted and tilted his head back to down the last sip. Kagome swirled the remains of her hot cocoa as well, reluctant to finish it as though emptying the mug would bring an end to the evening. She was feeling coltish, with a frustrated sort of nervous energy. The breathtaking, tense moment on the hillside had sparked an awareness of the chemistry between her and this man of few words and she felt compelled to explore it. And though while he appeared perfectly content to sit in companionable silence, she so desperately wanted to converse, to learn more about this handsome, unique mountain hermit.
"That caribou earlier was amazing!" she tried, changing the subject.
Grunt.
Kagome made a face, blowing a raspberry as she sighed in exasperation. While she glared at the side of his face, she caught a sly glance he gave her and the ensuing smirk he sent her more effectively warmed her insides than any hot drink. Feeling bolstered, she tried again.
"It's hard to believe we're already almost halfway done."
Grunt.
"Dude! You're impossible!"
Inuyasha had to chuckle as Kagome pouted and shifted to hug herself, looking comical in the large, puffy down jacket she wore. Rolling his eyes, he shifted to face her and took a breath.
"How d'you like it so far?" he asked, humoring her apparent need to converse.
Her smile was beaming and could have competed with the sun.
"It's been amazing!" she exclaimed, "We've seen so many animals and I can't believe we've walked so far!"
They smiled at each other for a breath, her hoping he'd continue the conversation, him simply basking in her glow.
"I'm getting nervous about the packrafting," Kagome pressed on, changing the subject. "I've never gone white water rafting before…"
Inuyasha snorted, but when he glanced at the obvious apprehension on her face, he quickly felt compelled to put her mind at ease.
"You can ride with me," he said simply. Kagome smiled.
"You sure? I'll probably be dead weight."
Grunt.
She rolled her eyes and laughed while Inuyasha shrugged.
"We'll portage the really choppy sections," he told her, "The rest is just letting the river do the work."
"Hmm," Kagome said, nodding. Then she sighed and glanced around again, taking in the harsh beauty of the alpine biome.
"I… I think I can understand the draw of this place," she said thoughtfully, "The simplicity. I almost wish I could stay here forever."
Inuyasha started to huff a grunt, before failing spectacularly to smother it. It came out as an odd sort of coughing snort and Kagome burst out laughing, leaning over to pat his shoulder. He tried to appear unfazed by the unconscious touch.
"Thanks," she giggled, "I appreciate the effort."
"Yeah, yeah," he said with mock exasperation. Then his expression grew distant. "It's not all fun and games, though. The land challenges you. It makes you work to survive. It can be cold, and dark, and barren."
And lonely.
She thought she heard that last phrase, but then it could also be a whisper in the wind. His tone, the hint of defeated resignation in his voice, it made her wish to reach out to him, to tell him that it didn't have to be so. But there was a wall of glass between them suddenly and she was afraid to try to reach past it.
They sat in silence for a time, Inuyasha gazing thoughtfully into the mist. Kagome watched his profile, noting something sad and forlorn in his face. Where to start, she wondered, how do you reach someone who's built up such high, impenetrable walls? She thought perhaps she'd give it another try.
"Um," she started, "Can I ask a personal question?"
He narrowed his eyes as he stared at her askance. He seemed to debate her request before finally grunting his permission.
"You have a college degree from a good school, and from what Miroku told me, you had a solid job lined up that you really liked. Why did you throw all that away and come out here?"
Ahh, it was wrong to ask, Kagome realized as she watched his reaction to the question. The muscles in his cheeks jutted out as his jaw clenched and the soft, reflective look in his eyes turned steely and hard. His entire body was still and tense and Kagome fought a surprising and confusing urge to rush over and wrap her arms around him.
"Shit happened," he said finally, soft and clipped. That was all. He stood abruptly and marched to his lonely tarp and slipped inside, leaving her alone to ponder his reaction with both regret and intrigue. Sitting by herself on the lonely pass, she sighed to herself as she finally guzzled down the last of her drink. A strong gust of wind blew over the pass and down into the next valley and she shivered. Finally, Kagome stood, deciding she needed to be inside her warm, downy sleeping bag. As she passed Inuyasha's small, efficient little tarp, she whispered, hardly loud enough for him to hear.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to pry. I won't bring it up again."
He listened to her shifting and the zipper of her sleeping bag, slide up to enclose her inside a downy shell. He lay like a mummy, on his back with his hands crossed over his stomach. There wasn't much space in his little set up, not even any room to roll over. Staring up at the hiking poles that propped up the crinkly fabric, he tried not to feel so guilty. The regret was strongly present in her voice as she apologized to him, making her sound defeated and sad. It was not the usual Kagome voice he'd grown used to and somehow it rankled him to hear the depressed tone. It was none of her business, she should be sorry for prying.
But then, there had been a part of him that was opening up to her, sharing the joy and beauty of his backyard with her. Wanting her to accept these trivial little things and being grateful that she did with wonder and enthusiasm. It had been both enjoyable and a comfort to point out the beautifully lit mountain rock face, and the caribou, and to watch her innocent and exuberant delight to share the sighting with him. He just wasn't ready to share this little darkness with her yet. He wasn't quite ready to face it himself.
That's all.