A/N- Thank you guys again for all of the continued support. It means so much to me to know that you guys are enjoying my writing. If all goes according to plan, there should be three more chapters (including this one) before the surgeons get rescued! That being said, the last two days in the woods are probably going to be the worst so… please just enjoy the drama and hold on because once they are rescued, there are going to be some REALLY sweet MerDer moments.
The sun was setting, the sky was dark purple, and unless something changed soon, the surgeons were going to be spending another night in the woods.
Half of Meredith felt like she was in denial. Even the worst moments of her life- the drowning, the shooting, had only lasted a matter of hours. Now, they were going on three days stranded in the middle of nowhere and other than the one helicopter last night, there had been no sign of human life.
Meredith wrapped her Seattle Grace parka around herself. She made sure that Derek was tucked in tight (the tips of his fingers appeared to be developing frostbite), and then checked on Lexie who was holding steady. The minimal treatment they had given her was not enough though; Meredith knew that her sister was still in danger, plus she had a lot of broken bones.
Mark had woken-up. It turned out that he had more injuries than originally thought; he had just been hiding them well so that Lexie would not worry. But eventually, Mark could no longer disguise the sharp pains in his ankle which suggested some kind of fracture. Cristina had also diagnosed him with two broken ribs, a deep laceration on his back, and third degree burns which were mostly located on his right abdomen, hip, and thigh. It apparently made sitting quite uncomfortable.
"Do you think… w-we should… take our temperatures?" Meredith asked and touched the thermometer, the only item from the first-aid kit that anyone had ever managed to find, other than the scrappy gauze.
"Don't tell me you feel sick," Cristina said.
"I don't think… any of us feel great but… but no, I'm fine," Meredith said. "Since Derek's asleep, I can at least… tell you that my… my… head hurts even more than… than yesterday. I think I have a grade… three concussion… or at least a… a grade two."
Cristina snorted. "That's not hard to guess; there's a giant hole in the side of your head."
"Nelson will stitch me up good when we get home," Meredith yawned. "If you want, I can try and stay awake tonight so you can get some sleep. I know you and Mark were rotating last night but I don't think he's gonna be much help watching anyone except for Lexie."
"Yeah but you haven't slept at all since the crash, not besides when you passed out. You can rest for a little while. Cuddle with Derek," Cristina said and rolled her eyes.
"I don't think Derek's… r-really in the mood to… cuddle," Meredith said but she did not fight Cristina. For some reason, she could sense that Cristina was not ready to go to sleep right now and that was the good thing about their friendship. They did not push each other; they respected each other's boundaries.
Meredith curled down on the ground against her husband and closed her eyes. Her body was completely exhausted from the blunt trauma, from saving Lexie, from searching the woods for Derek, and from carrying him back to the crash site. Meredith's last thought before dozing off was, I'll wake-up to a chopper…
The next thing she knew, Meredith was soaked. She had woken-up with a start but it was not because of a chopper. Heavy rain was pouring from the sky and if the doctors were not in danger already, this was pushing them over the edge.
Meredith sat up straight and looked around frantically for Cristina but the rain had come all at once. It was a torrential downpour and Meredith could barely see two feet in front of her so she screamed as loud as she could: "CRISTINA?!"
"We gotta get Lexie and Derek in the plane!" Cristina's voice yelled in answer. Meredith looked in that direction and found Mark, trying to lift Lexie with all his strength. She was unconscious again and her legs were sticking out at an odd angle because of her fractures.
"I've got her feet!" Meredith said and somehow, the three doctors managed to carry Lexie over to the cockpit where they shoved her inside next to Jerry.
"Sorry, Jerry but… but we have two… hurt… really bad and… they've got to… come in here," Meredith said but there was no reply. She noticed for the first time that although Jerry was still breathing, he had fallen unconscious… oh, well; the pilot would wake-up and see that he had some friends.
There really was no time to worry about him now. Meredith jumped back down out of the cockpit and ran for Derek while Cristina headed in the direction of Arizona.
Derek had woken-up as well, thanks to the rain, and when Meredith reached him, he was having trouble pushing himself into a sitting position. When he saw his wife, relief passed over his face. "I… I woke-up and… you were g-gone!"
"It's okay; I'm here. Come on," Meredith said. She let Derek put almost all of his weight onto her again as she and Mark dragged him into the remainder of the plane's hallway because there was no more room in the cockpit.
Seconds later, Cristina managed to push Arizona through the wreckage too, and the five surgeons huddled together in the back of the plane while Lexie and Jerry stayed covered yet asleep in the front. The rain went on and on and despite the fact that they were "inside", it did not prevent anyone not in the cockpit from getting drenched.
It had to be around two or three in the morning when the rain slowed down so Meredith got up and looked out at the sky. It was cloudy and there was a ton of fog hanging in the air.
"I… I don't think… the rescue crews are… are even out r-r-right now," Meredith said as she climbed back in next to Derek. "There's so much… fog and… and clouds; it's p-probably too… too dangerous for them to fly."
"Great, so now we're going to be out here for another what, eight hours?" Cristina guessed.
"At the… the least," Meredith assumed and shivered. It was cold when they first arrived in the forest but now thanks to the rain, it was frigid.
She reached down and squeezed some of the water out of Derek's hair. He was shaking with chills and Meredith thought about how she would add ten times more suffering to her own body if she could take it away from him. She hated seeing him hurt in any way; she even hated when he had a small cut on his hand after Nurse Rose stabbed him with a scalpel during surgery… and let's be honest; it was not like Derek was in serious danger then.
"I wonder if… if Zola thinks… we're ever… coming back. I wonder if she… she thinks that… she got taken away from us… again like… like she did last year," Meredith wondered.
Derek's answer came out hoarse, in a chopped whisper. "I… I h-hope… she's… gonna be… okay. I… I hope… she's… she's okay…"
"What are you talking… about? Of course she's g-gonna be… okay… once we… g-get home," Meredith said but the way Derek was talking was odd. He was always the cheerful optimist. It was not like him to start saying anything that suggested surrender. Derek had done that only once before… after the shooting, when he was recovering in the ICU and reeling from the memories of his father being murdered.
"Derek," Meredith repeated. "You know we're… we're g-gonna get home, right?"
"A-Are you… are you… Meredith…" Derek asked and Meredith did not reply at first; she was not sure if Derek was asking because the comment was unlike her or because he honestly did not know who she was… if Derek could not remember his wife, things were worse than any of them thought.
Meredith exchanged a look with Cristina who crawled over. "Derek, do you know where you are? Do you know who you're with?"
"M-Meredith," he said again but did not move his head off his wife's lap.
"Okay, yeah… you're with Meredith but do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?" Cristina asked.
Derek nodded but then he dozed off again so there was really no guarantee. Meredith squeezed his hand and prayed, even though she never prayed: Please don't let him have a brain bleed. Please let us get out of here alive. Please, just let Derek and Lexie live… and let Cristina live…
Meredith woke-up and her first thought was, Damn, I slept funny on my neck and now my whole day at work is gonna suck.
And then she opened her eyes. The rain was gone. The sun was shining through the trees, creating beautiful, stenciled designs in the sky. A sunny day after a rainstorm was usually one of Meredith's favorite kinds of mornings, but not today… because when Meredith looked around, she remembered reality and reality was that she was still stranded in the woods with her husband, sister, and friends. Over 48 hours had passed since the plane went down and no one had come to rescue them. Was there anyone left to rescue them?
It was illogical and Meredith knew that… she was a doctor and she was smart. It did not make sense for the world to come to an end. But at a time like this, it did not seem like there were a lot of other options.
Did the plane crash because the world was ending? Were the surgeons in the woods some of the only people still living on planet earth? Did Owen Hunt still exist and if so, was someone ever coming to save them? It was hard to believe; there was no sign of human life anywhere… no planes overhead, no highway nearby, not even a stray hiker.
The only creatures that Meredith knew for certain, still existed besides themselves, were wolves because they had ventured unspeakably close to the doctors' campsite. Despite her exhaustion, Meredith found it difficult to sleep for long on the hard forest floor- there were wild animals, lives at stake, and rescue awaiting- so every hour, it seemed, she jerked awake and looked around to make sure that everyone was still alive. Every time she opened her eyes, Cristina was sitting up against a tree, wide-awake, and Meredith wondered if she ever dozed-off.
One of those times that Meredith had glanced around, she had seen a few wolves nearby, sniffing at the ground and salivating. She knew that they could smell Lexie and Derek's blood and as Meredith lay there in the darkness, doing her best to stay perfectly still, she came to the conclusion that she had never been so afraid in her entire life.
Dying from a brain bleed or a heart attack was one thing but Meredith did not want to be ripped to shreds before she left this world. It was sure to be painful and far too drawn-out.
Right as Meredith was contemplating whether or not they had any defenses against the wolves, there was a high-pitched scream and it was coming from the cockpit. There was only one person that scream could belong to so Meredith jumped out of the wreckage.
"MER!" Lexie cried when she was found, sitting-up in the passenger seat. "Mer… I… I think he's… dead! I would… look but… I can't feel… my arm… and…"
Lexie did not have to finish. Meredith ran around to the other side of the plane and stuck her head through the broken window so she could feel Jerry's carotid artery. There was no pulse. His face was white and cold and he was slumped over in his seat.
"Y-Yeah, um… he's dead," Meredith confirmed and circled back around to Lexie. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "Try not to cry, okay? You're already dehydrated."
"B-But… why him? It… it wasn't his… fault. Why… why aren't… I dead?" Lexie asked.
"B-Because we were able to get you out… out of the… plane and… give you p-proper treatment… or… or at least, halfway… decent treatment," Meredith said. "Jerry was… he was already… p-paralyzed and… he knew that. I don't think… he had much fight… left in him. And he might have had… all kinds of… of other internal bleeding we didn't… know about. It's… it's good… he's out of pain… now."
It looked like Lexie agreed but she did not say anything; Meredith could sense that she wanted some time to grieve on her own. No, Lexie never really shared a conversation with Jerry but he had been kind towards the surgeons and he had died next to her. Lexie was already empathetic and traumatized so she deserved some alone time to process this.
Meredith crawled back into the hallway of the plane where Cristina and Arizona were both awake; Mark and Derek were still asleep. "Jerry's dead."
"What?!" Arizona gasped and looked up. "How, why?! I thought… I thought he was okay!"
"Yeah but… but Lexie just… woke-up and… she found him… dead… next to her. He probably had a… a hemothorax or something; he crashed up… against the gears. There was nothing… we could've done," Meredith said.
No one said anything. They did not have to, because Meredith knew that they were all thinking the same thing. Why would it be Jerry? Jerry was healthy, compared with the rest of them. His legs were paralyzed but people could live with paralyzed legs. Only last night he had been sitting up, talking with the surgeons, telling them about his wife, Alicia and his daughter, Katie. The doctors never really took the time to worry extensively about him.
How could he be the one that was dead?
"So I guess now we're supposed to sit here with a dead body for the next… however many hours?" Arizona finally said.
Meredith shrugged. "I don't know what… our other option is. We should try to keep Jerry's body in decent shape… for his family. They deserve at least that… much. I mean, we will get out of here today, right… Cristina?"
"Yeah, we have to get out of here today," Cristina said.
"You said that yesterday," Arizona sighed.
"Well, we have to eventually, right? I mean, it's not like we can just sit here in this damn plane until the end of time. Search and Rescue will eventually find us," Cristina said.
If we don't all die first, Meredith thought but she did not have to say it, again… she knew that Cristina and Arizona were thinking the same thing.
"Meredith, you need to get up. Come on, you need to get up and help me with Arizona."
Now that the doctors were going on their third day in the forest, everyone was sleeping more. The surgeons were weaker, they had no food and half a bottle of water remaining, and it was difficult to keep up the energy to fight when there was no proof that rescue was ever going to come.
But if Arizona was in trouble, then something needed to be done so Meredith hauled herself up from where she had been lying on the ground. "W-What happened?"
"Nothing exactly happened but…" Cristina trailed off because as Meredith could plainly tell, there was no need to continue. Arizona was sitting nearby, screaming her head off like she was when the plane had first gone down, the scrubs covering her left leg ripped apart. Her femur was in worse shape than ever. Not only was it clearly infected, with blood and pus building up everywhere, but there were what appeared to be large bugs nested inside the wound.
Meredith had seen a lot of gruesome injuries throughout her five years of residency but she had to work hard to control her gag reflex at the site of Arizona. "Oh, God…"
"Yeah, I keep trying to get the bugs out but every time I start, I end up doing more damage somewhere else so I need an extra set of hands," Cristina said.
Part of Meredith wanted to suggest that Mark help instead but that was not in Meredith's nature, to pass a task onto someone else. Besides, Mark was sitting with Lexie, last Meredith had seen, and Derek was still asleep so it was down to the two twisted sisters to treat Arizona.
There were no gloves, and unfortunately, not even a pair of tweezers available so Meredith sanitized her hands several times before getting started. It was hard, disgusting work. As Meredith dug around in Arizona's leg with her fingers, the pediatric surgeon screamed constantly but it would have been worth it, had they made actual progress.
Every time that Meredith got hold of an insect, she seemed to also pull away a significant amount of skin and tissue. Whenever Meredith released a bug on its own, it crawled right back again and bathed in the blood that was gushing from Arizona's leg.
Eventually, Cristina paused. "We're going to have to stop for now. We're quickening the blood flow and she'll bleed to death within the hour, at this rate."
"Yeah but… but she might die of… infection if we don't… get the bugs out," Meredith said. "And… and personally… I would r-rather bleed out… than be… be eaten alive."
"Well, right now, if we don't get the bleeding under control, Arizona is going to die and then get eaten by wolves so your only choice left is whether or not you want to help me," Cristina said so Meredith gave in.
"Okay, okay. I'll… I'll get something to… to wrap the leg with."
There were not many clothing items left; a majority of them had been used to bandage Lexie and Derek but Meredith managed to locate a pair of lounging pants. Cristina ripped them apart and tied them around Arizona's femur (while the latter continued to wail) and Cristina duct-taped it in place.
"That should at least keep out… any… any additional bugs," Meredith said but Arizona did not reply.
Just then, Mark appeared- he had finally gotten up now that everyone was finished tending to Arizona's gore but Meredith did not have time to complain. Mark was obviously worried. "Do we have any water left? If we do, Lexie needs it."
"Is she okay?" Meredith asked.
"She's bleeding again, bad," Mark explained. "I don't know where; it could be her tamponade but she's sitting in cockpit and she just threw-up blood."
Meredith jumped to her feet, ready to run to her little sister when Cristina opened her mouth: "Maybe Lexie and Derek should lie on top of each other. Owen told me about this time in Iraq when one of his soldiers was bleeding out from every direction. They didn't have any hospitals nearby so Owen just lied on top of him, compressing the bleeding with his own body until they could get him somewhere. It's his favorite surgery he's ever done."
It was an interesting idea; Meredith had never known about the story and she smiled. That kind of work sounded exhilarating, or it would, if the patients were not her loved ones. "That's awesome, and… and the guy lived? The… the soldier… I mean?"
"He made it home to his family, yeah… and then he killed himself… shot himself in the temple," Cristina said and there was an awkward pause.
"Well, that's depressing. You shouldn't have told us that last part, Yang," Mark said.
Meredith did not say anything. She had known a long time ago, of course, that it was not wise to believe in fairytales and magic. That was part of the reason she was so dark and twisty inside. But working in medicine had taught Meredith a lot and part of that was that things did not always end in disaster. She knew that she never should have lived after nearly drowning in Elliott Bay during her intern year. She knew that Derek should have died when Gary Clark shot him but they had lived so that had to mean something.
It had to mean that there was something else in the cards for them and Meredith refused to believe that that something was her interfering with the Alzheimer's trial last year. Maybe it meant that they were supposed to have more kids or save more lives but not die here in this plane crash…
What are you talking about? It wasn't God or any kind of higher power that saved you from drowning, Meredith told herself as she followed Mark over to the cockpit. It was pure luck… it was medicine; it was your heart being somewhat healthy…
As soon as she saw her sister, Meredith's current heart dropped. Lexie had taken a drastic turn for the worse. Although she was breathing, Lexie's face was covered in a sheer layer of sweat, her skin was burning, and her body, quivering. Fresh blood was splattered across her Stanford sweatshirt and the cockpit floor.
"Lexie," Meredith said and squeezed her hand. "L-Lexie, can… can you hear me?"
"M-Mer," Lexie moaned and turned her head a fraction of an inch; there was blood caked in her teeth.
"I know… I know it's hard; I know… it hurts," Meredith said and wet a nearby cloth which she used to wipe her sister's forehead. "But people are coming… r-really soon, okay? The sky is… is clear and… and Owen is gonna find us today… without a p-problem."
Lexie nodded slowly. "Mer, I… I don't know… I don't wanna… keep… keep d-doing… this…"
"Keep doing… what? B-Being a surgeon?" Meredith asked.
"N-No, I… I don't wanna… wait… n-not anymore… I wanna see… my m-mom and… and George… I wanna see… R-Reed and… and Charles… Vivian… she was… she was my… friend," Lexie whispered.
Meredith shook her head, hard. "N-No… no, you aren't gonna… see your mom anytime soon, Lexie. I'm… I'm sorry but… but that's just the way… it goes. We're… we're g-gonna go home… and see Dad. We're gonna… make our… our amends and… and I'll start calling him… D-Dad… all the time, okay?"
"D-Don't say it… cause… cause I want you to," Lexie begged. "I… I just… thought it… was done, I… I thought… I was over… my life was over… in Seattle just… just cause of… M-Mark and… and Jackson… who broke up with me… cause… cause… I still… love Mark. I… I thought… I didn't have… have anyone but… I've never… n-never done that… been that girl who… obsesses… over boys…"
"I know," Meredith said and brushed Lexie's hair gently; it was what Lexie apparently liked when she was hurt. "I know you're not. Does Mark… does he know you… you still love him? D-Did you tell him?"
Lexie nodded shortly but it did not appear to make her any happier. "I… when you did… your boards, I… I did this… b-big, dramatic… speech. I said… I love him and… I love him…"
"Well… Mark loves you, too… Lexie. He loves you… so much and that's easy to see because… this whole time… he hasn't wanted to let… anyone… else… touch you," Meredith said. "W-When we found you… he… he pushed me outta the way… I can… I can almost p-promise you… when we get home… he's gonna break-up with… Julia."
That part was not a lie. That part was not Meredith trying to make her sister feel better. Life-threatening situations, like the one they were in, tended to make people realize what was truly important and it had been evident from the moment the plane crashed that Mark had come to his conclusion- he loved Lexie. Meredith told herself that when they got home to Seattle and healed, that she would be the Maid of Honor in Mark and Lexie's wedding.
"Okay…" Lexie choked out; it did not sound like she believed Meredith. "Mer… can you… can you do… it… do something… for me…"
"Of course," Meredith said. "Of course… anything."
Every breath was sapping Lexie of all her energy. "If… if I… die…"
"You… are not g-going… to die," Meredith interrupted. "I… I don't… even… want to hear… you… say that."
"P-Please… p-please, I… I need… you to know… cause… cause M-Mark… he won't… listen," Lexie begged; tears were pooling in her eyes and mixing with the droplets of sweat running from her forehead.
There was a chance that this was it, right here and now. Meredith did not want to let her mind wander that way, but if Lexie did die, Meredith knew that she would never forgive herself for refusing to listen to her sister's final request.
"Okay… okay, I'm… I'm listening," Meredith promised.
"If… if I… die… I… I want you to… g-give a… eulogy… you and… M-Molly. G-get to… know her. She's… she's r-really… g-great," Lexie whispered. "And… and I want… I want you to… to be there… for D-Dad… even if… I'm… not there. I… I w-want… to be… buried… next to… m-my mom."
Meredith brushed the tears that were rapidly falling from her own eyes away; Lexie did not need to see that right now. "Y-Yeah, okay… I'll… I'll m-make sure we do that if… if it comes to that but… but Lex, I… I r-really don't think it will… you're… you're strong… you'll… you'll m-make it…"
"There's… there's something… else," Lexie gasped but before she could finish, she must have run out of strength. Lexie reached forward with her good arm and clutched onto Meredith's scrub top like it was a life vest. She could not speak anymore, but Meredith understood the message.
"Okay. Okay, I'm g-gonna stay right here," Meredith said; she climbed further into the cockpit where she sat in between Lexie and dead Jerry. She could feel Jerry's cold skin on her own but that did not matter. She held Lexie close and let her shut her eyes because as long as Meredith was there, she had faith that Lexie would not give up.
I love sweet sister moments between Mer and Lexie! And I am so sorry about having to kill Jerry. In a perfect world, everyone would have been able to live but I just thought it was a little unrealistic for all six surgeons to make it out of the woods alive along with Jerry and I obviously am not going to kill my Seattle Grace Six. Plus Jerry's death will actually have some meaning down the road, I believe! Also, um… yes, the names of Jerry's wife and daughter were my first Twitter shoutout, for those of you who follow me on there. Love you, Alicia and Katie.
Thank you so much to everyone for reading again! Don't forget to follow/favorite/review! Xoxo, merderpedia