The Call
~ Kitty
Chapter 16: Journey's end
…
"I am learning to live close to the lives of my friends without ever seeing them. No miles of any measurement can separate your soul from mine."
― John Muir
The dream crystallized around him, holding him captive before he realized where it was going. He was home, as much of a home as he could claim to have in the world. He was home but home was wrong. The walls were bare, old, and creaky. His cot, no longer a symbol of rest. The air around him was still and stagnant and he felt as though his lungs were putrefying just standing where he was. The forest outside felt dark and haunted and eerie. He paced inside the cabin, even the sound of his footsteps against the hard wooden planks was hollow, not a musical percussion, but an empty, dull thudding. And when he stepped outside to find sunlight and birdsong, an empty forest greeted him, grey and muted and foreboding.
"Hello?" he heard his own voice call out, "Is anyone out there?"
Even his echo refused to answer him.
"Hello? Anybody?" he continued calling. His feet were moving but there was no destination. His steps were soundless as he scrambled through the branches and the moss.
"Anyone?" His calls sounded small and pathetic in his ears. He suddenly found himself on his knees on the dark forest floor. The long, jagged branches seemed to close in on him and a low pulsing hum cried out from inside his chest.
"Please," he called, voiced brought down to a whisper, "Don't leave me alone."
He felt the wind blow past him silently, as though it, too, were abandoning him. Loneliness wrapped around him and the looming trees seemed to judge him, mocking him for so confidently declaring his desire for solitude and independence. His own words from just a few days ago came back to him as a jeer.
'I don't need anybody.'
"Yes, you do," he whispered to himself, turning eyes up to the branches above his head.
"Please," he continued to call out while the cold, stony mountains looked on, "Please, don't leave me alone."
…
It was several seconds of half wakefulness before he realized the low pulsing hum beside him was his phone. A new entered name was glowing on the screen and when he read it, he was sitting upright immediately, answering the call as fast as his fingers could manage.
"H-hey, Kagome, hi," he stuttered, "Is it time to go?"
Her laughter on the other end was bright and cheerful, but her voice seemed far away when she spoke.
"Just picked up the car," she said, "Be back in about fifteen minutes."
Clothing choice at the tail end of a backcountry vacation was limited, and quite often musky, and that was the very best scenario. Inuyasha couldn't recall any other time in living history when he'd had so much trouble deciding on his outfit for the day. His pants were all smeared with soot, the stains on his shirts looked about as nasty as they smelled. He mentally berated himself for his lack of foresight in preparation for the day.
Perhaps he had time to rush to the store.
Something flopped to his feet when he threw open the door. The simple black T-shirt was too small when he held it up, but it was clean. A messily scribbled note in Miroku's illegible writing fluttered the floor.
"You owe me."
Inuyasha snorted through his nose, holding out the cotton fabric with a look of disdain. It was clean at least. And he certainly didn't have any better ideas at the moment.
The sun was bright when he stepped outside, it's radiant heat immediately penetrating the thin fabric of his shirt. He lifted a hand to shield his eyes as he approached the car. Kagome gave him a funny look as he opened the door and climbed inside.
"You won't get cold?"
Grunt.
"Oh! I found your jacket in my pack," Kagome said, "Should I get it now?"
Grunt.
"It's going to be a loooooong drive if this keeps up," she said, the reproach evident in her voice.
"I don't need it," he said. And then, after a pause, "Do… you want me to drive?"
"Oh, I'm good!" she chirped, "You got me through the river and even pushed back your flight to keep me company. Just sit back and relax!"
"Hmm, if you say so," he said, eyeing her askance. Kagome caught the look and turned on him.
"What's that look for?" she demanded, "I'm a way better driver than a rafter."
"If you say so."
Kagome huffed at the obvious doubt in his voice, turning the ignition and putting the car in drive.
"Just don't be one of those guys that makes fun of women driving," she said.
"Not when I'm placing my life in the hands of one."
Kagome paused to look at him, his expression carefully schooled to an innocent, blank look. It was early that morning, and the sunlight was golden as it reflected off his hair. His lips quirked as he tried to hold her accusatory stare and his eyes had crinkles in their corners with a lively spark that spoke of play. She managed her narrow eyed glare for just a breath or two before the smile pressing against her lips won out and she spared a moment to beam at him before turning her attention to the road.
"Alright, puppies, here we come!"
…
Kagome turned out to be a much better driver than white-water rafter and while he tried to keep up with her chatter, the lull of the car engine and her gentle voice as it recounted this or that tale eventually defeated him. His sleep was deep and dreamless and Kagome let him rest, laughing quietly to herself when his breathing caught and a soft snore resulted. The densely forested scenery was majestic and with his peaceful presence beside her, the rolling drive flew by quickly. Two hours later, they arrived at a resort near the outskirts of Denali National Park and she pulled the car into a convenient shaded spot, switching off the engine and sighing as she turned to contemplate her companion.
She had plenty of opportunity to study him while they were in the woods, but there was something different about him now. No more obscuring downy layers, or grime, or stubble. She could peer down at his clean shaven face without obstruction, follow the path of his breath as it pulled air down into his lungs and appreciate the swells and shadows in the lines of his arms. The shirt wrapped around him in a snug fit, emphasizing his chest, going taught with each inhale. She allowed herself the visual pleasure for just a moment or two longer before scoffing at herself and chiding her unabashed ogling. There was substance to this man as well. A deep rooted hurt, as well as a resilience that worked to overcome it. And as she gazed down at his prone, reclined figure, she released a tendril of yearning she'd been holding back. A slender hand reached up to touch his face, sliding lightly over his cheek, grazing the lower edge of his lip, before dropping lower down to his shoulder and gently shaking him awake.
"Hey," she called out softly, "Hey, we're here."
Inuyasha blinked sleepily, his eyes hazy and glazed as they slowly came into focus.
"Nngh," he groaned, sitting up. Kagome laughed at him, poking his shoulder more insistently.
"C'mon!" she said, "Let's go see some puppies!"
There was a shuttle waiting for them, an entire team of happy, bright eyed dogs painted across its side. The driver checked for their names and then they were off, grumbling down bumpier and bumpier roads to the kennels. The shuttle was crammed full of vacationers and they sat pressed against each other, the rocking bus apparently determined to fuse them at the shoulders. Kagome laughed at him when a child's face popped over the seat back in front of them and stared wide eyed at the gruff mountain hermit.
"Waddya want kid?"
His voice was not unkind but the child ducked quickly back to safety against his mother's side. The woman chided the boy, turning to smile a silent apology. Inuyasha grunted but Kagome smiled back.
"Something tells me you were a mama's boy," she teased him. He made a face and snorted.
"I gave her plenty of headaches," he said, "Teachers were always calling her about something bad I did."
"That doesn't surprise me."
"Well, I bet you were a goodie two shoes," he told her.
"I was actually really naughty," she countered, "But I was really good at getting away with everything."
He glanced over at her, the brightness in her eyes and her naturally rosy cheeks now familiar and endearing.
"Yeah," he said, a smirk tugging at one side of his lips, "You look like you could get away with murder."
Her face transformed at his declaration, looking aghast for the briefest of moments.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Alright folks, welcome to Husky Homestead!"
The bus lurched to a halt before he could answer her and soon they were all jostling to exit the bus. Several uniformed workers were waiting for the new arrivals, a collection of soft, fuzzy, yawning shapes in their arms and beside him, Kagome squealed to see the young puppies. The visiting children were each handed a puppy first, but then it was her turn and a worker smiled as she deposited a small, squirming bundle into her arms.
"I'm in heaven," she declared, turning to him, "I can die happy now."
He rolled his eyes and grunted. The puppy fiasco served a dual purpose. With so many hands cuddling and stroking them, the pups were quickly socialized and accustomed to strange, eager hands, learning there was nothing to fear from them. Inuyasha watched her, her hands instinctively moving to keep the wriggling mass of fur from tumbling to the ground. He was a light tawny mutt, of completely unidentifiable lineage, all the dogs were. Broadly classified as Alaskan huskies, they were, in fact, a collection of breeds, selected purely for a love of running, and when Kagome commented on how different they looked from their Siberian cousins, he told her exactly that.
"Hound, spitz, terrier," he said, "They're a bit of everything. As long as it loves to run."
"Well," Kagome said, holding up the pup by the armpits as it attempted to run up and over her shoulder, "This one fits the bill, that's for sure."
Regaining control of the fidgety creature, she turned it around to coo into its face.
"Isn't that right?" she said, "You gonna be a sled dog? Hmm?"
Its movements effectively neutralized, the pup turned up its escape tactics, straining close to wash its tongue across her face. The first lick caught the tip of her nose, the next attempted to slither right up it.
"Yech!" Kagome squeaked, angling her face away, "We only just met, that's going a bit too far, don't you think?"
Inuyasha snorted, taking the pup from her, cradling it comfortably by the chest so that all four paws dangled down uselessly on either side of his arm. Sensing it was now held by more experienced hands, the puppy settled down quickly, contenting itself with gazing around as though taking in the view from its newfound height.
"Inuyasha?" a voice sounded from behind. Turning Inuyasha met a familiar face.
"You're Inuyasha right?" a man stepped forward, hand outstretched, "Remember me? We started here together a few years ago."
"... Jeb, right?" Inuyasha answered, cautiously taking the offered hand.
"That's right!" Jeb answered, "Glad to see you're still alive!"
Kagome giggled while Inuyasha frowned. "Why does everyone say that?"
Then Jeb glanced at Kagome, eyebrows rising.
"Well I see you haven't been wasting time these last few years," he said, "Hi, my name's Jeb. I worked with this grouch a while back."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes and snorted while Kagome let out a full throated laugh. "Ha! The grouchiness hasn't changed, I can tell you that."
"Oy!"
"Ok everyone! Please return your puppies and come this way!" a tour guide called out.
"Hey," Jeb said, turning to help funnel visitors to the kennel viewing area, "I'll catch up with you later. Zig's litter this year are old enough to meet if you want to check them out after the tour."
Kagome was nodding vigorously before Inuyasha could even begin to respond. The crowds were being ushered to a rickety set of stadium seating and the pair were swept along with it. They sat down side by side, facing a collection of small wooden shelters, each with an excited, pacing dog attached to a pole beside it. Some of the older ones sat patiently, knowing the drill and waited attentively for the next round of activities. The younger ones whined and lunged against their tethers, chain links jangling as the twitchy, fidgety bodies ran circles around their poles, a well worn track marking edge of the chain.
"Why are they all chained up?" Kagome leaned close to whisper her question. Her hair fell against his shoulder and the subtle scent of her shampoo wafted to his nose. He blinked and sniffed to clear his head.
"They're unfixed," he answered, "Unless you want to be swimming in puppies and have no control of the breeding, you gotta keep them all separate."
She made a noise of understanding, nodding slowly but a frown still decorated her brow.
"Don't worry," he told her, "They're spoiled as all hell. They get run several times a day and the ones that aren't in heat get to hang out."
"Ahh," she murmured, sufficiently appeased.
The presentation was short but informative. Sled dogs, Kagome came to realize, were bonafide professional athletes, with customized diets, exercise regimens, and a drive beyond any creature she'd ever witnessed. There was a demonstration of a dogsled team sized treadmill and recent mother, Zig, was led through the stands for pets and a break from her puppies. Kagome marveled at the taut bodied creature as she strutted by.
"Wow," Kagome said, "This dog is ripped!"
Inuyasha grunted, an amused smirk tugging at his lips.
Zip recognized Inuyasha, sniffing his hands carefully as she slowly remembered his scent. Her tail wagged and he was greeted, doggy style, while the surprised handler struggled to bring her forepaws back down to the ground.
"Hey girl," Kagome heard him whisper, "How you been?"
His hands held the dog gently, finding the ears atop her slender head and pressing in with his thumbs. There was a tender warmth in the way he ran his fingers through the dog's fur and the expression on his face caught her by surprise. Far more open and relaxed than she'd ever seen him these past two weeks, the canine seemed to create cracks in his usual walls and barriers and though his expression remained muted, there was a glow behind it that made her heart swell to see. Soft, with a pure kind of joy, untainted by shadows of the past, it was a look she wanted to see him wear more often.
And then Zig had to move on and greet the rest of her fans. They were all eventually moved inside where Jeff King, the man himself, greeted them, leading them through an entertaining demonstration of what life on the Iditarod was like, from humorous mimicry of a variety of methods of keeping warm, to all the gruesome details of the dangers in the Alaskan winter forests. Ultimately, like any other tour, they were led to the gift shop. Just as Kagome started to browse the souvenirs, Jeb came up to then, two three week old puppies in hand.
The sight of the two pudgy, furry sausages had Kagome speechless and Inuyasha enjoyed watching the adoring expression spread across her face, the way her eyes widened and her lips puckered. Outside, Zig's puppies were being carefully held out for the other visitors to stroke and pet but Jeb simply plopped the warm little bundle into Kagome's open palms. She immediately brought the small yipping body to her face, giggling then the stubby, sniffling nose bumped up against hers.
"Oh my gosh," she murmured, "Jeb, you're killing me…"
There was something special and touching in the fragility of new life. It had a smell to it and Kagome brought her nose close against the soft, plush body, marveling how her senses instinctively knew the scent and she felt the natural protective instinct that slept inside of every social creature. The second puppy was deposited into Inuyasha's hands and then Jeb stepped back, offering to snap a picture of the pair.
Kagome immediately agreed, carefully tucking the precious handful against her chest and searching for her phone.
"Get closer together," Jeb said, gesturing with his free hand. Inuyasha sighed, shuffling over until they were hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder, each with a little wrinkly-faced sausage in hand.
"So, you think I could sneak out of here with one of these under my shirt?" Kagome whispered conspiratorially to him. He huffed a short laugh, unable to stifle the smile that pulled up the corners of his lips.
"Alright, smile!" Jeb called out to them. Abruptly, Kagome brought an arm around his, leaning in close and holding up the puppy with her other hand. Her stature was a near perfect fit, like two puzzle pieces coming together and he, perhaps, put on a far wider smile than he had intended to. "One, two, three!"
…
"What was it like to mush them? Is it hard to steer? What about obstacles?"
Kagome had an unending stream of questions that filled nearly the entire two hour drive back to Fairbanks. Having skipped breakfast, and only a light snack for lunch, the both of them were ravenous for a meal when they returned. Surprisingly enough, it turned out that there was a thriving Korean community in Fairbanks, Alaska, and Inuyasha and Kagome were soon sitting across from each other in the basement restaurant of a karaoke bar, their mouths salivating when the plates Korean barbeque beef and pork arrived, sweet and sticky and fragrant.
"It's exactly like you'd imagine, the dogs know where to go, and if there're obstacles, then you're shit outa luck."
He enjoyed her laughter, sitting back from his plate to admire her. His eyes memorized every laugh line with a desperation, knowing that tomorrow, she'd be gone. There was something utterly breathtakingly sad about that knowledge and it was no small mental effort to keep his mind from mulling on that fact. Taking Kagome herself as an example, he strove to enjoy the moment, taking in as many details as his senses could absorb, so that he could return to this short-lived memory when he returned to his long, solitary days in the exile he'd enforced upon himself.
Their walk back to the hotel took them back along the Chena river, its tamed, thrumming waters gently humming below them as they strolled the footpath beside it. There was quiet between them, a loud quiet. Like their beating hearts were screaming for each other but neither could voice it. Kagome nibbled at her lip, desperately wanting to say something, anything, that could leave her hanging on a thread of hope that their friendship would extend beyond this singular trip. She watched him carefully, studying him, trying to get just an inkling of what he was thinking.
"So...," she started, trailing off when he jumped at the sound of her voice. Kagome swallowed, gathering some little courage, "How good's reception at your cabin? What's the best way to reach you?"
Inuyasha couldn't remember the last time his chest squeezed so tight in that way. Somehow, he managed a response.
"It's not that great," he said, "Internet's better."
Kagome blinked.
"Ah, right," she said, "For your work right?"
Grunt.
Silence descended while Kagome temporarily lost the courage to go on. Their walking gradually slowed as they drew closer to the hotel, until they came to a full stop all together. They stood quietly by the river, to all appearances relaxed in companionable silence, and yet there was a tenuous thread of the unspoken stretching out between them. And to her surprise, it was Inuyasha who made the offer.
"Can… can I email you?"
The smile she gave him was bright and hopeful and it spurred him on to the point of babbling.
"I can video chat too, all those things. And if… if you really liked this trip, you should come in the winter time. It's real peaceful and the northern lights are cool," he said quickly, "Dunno, maybe… if you can make it up…?"
"That'd be really nice," she told him, still smiling. The intensity felt too much for him and he broke eye contact, staring out over the river and shifting uncomfortably. First he moved his weight to his far foot for a moment. And then he took a breath and shifted over to his near foot, and then he was so close, he could feel her body heat beside him, or was it just his nervousness?
His heart fell when he felt her pull away, a stricken feeling of abandonment. And then he felt her fingers shyly find his hand, drawing his attention and causing him to turn his head.
Her eyes were infinite as he stared down into them. Deep, dark pools, warm, and welcoming. They searched his for a breath, and gradually, formless in his thoughts though crystal clear at the same time, he realized unconsciously the wordless question in her gaze.
The hand that she'd claimed so tentatively squeezed her fingers, his other lifting to dancing lightly over her cheek. There was a thrumming in her ears as he shifted to stand closer. If she leaned in only slightly, it would only be their clothing separating their bodies and her chest flooded with heat as the realization registered in her mind. But all these thoughts were hazy and distant from her consciousness because his eyes were piercing through her, drawing closer, and then there was nothing else in her world outside of him and the small, intimate space between them.
He leaned ever closer, a force beyond his control pressing him onward. His hand found a firmer purchase along her jaw and she shifted slightly, leaning in to his hold. He felt the rush of her breath, short and shallow and warm against his lips. He blinked, eyes searching her face one last time, confirming whether this advance was welcome, and her wide, trusting eyes gazed up at him like a plea. Unbidden, the pinprick feeling of tears began to tickle the backs of his eyes and he was sure the heart inside his chest had never beat faster.
Their lips met as only a feather light touch but the jolt of sensation shot through his spine and tingled straight down to his toes. His entire body trembled and his lungs drew a sharp, involuntary gasp. They pulled apart a short distance, both seeking to confirm the other's reaction. When glazed, dilated eyes met with equally glazed, dilated eyes, the wash of relief was sudden and sweeping and he dipped his chin back down to press more firmly against the warmth of her lips, rolling sensations of joy, reassurance, and an aching sort of yearning that bordered sadness gripped him, squeezing his chest as though to silence the loud pounding of his heart.
"Whoo!" the loud, raucous cry penetrated their ear abruptly and they pulled apart in a daze, minds struggling to catch back up with the present.
Another jeering call sounded from across the street as a group of drunkards stumbled along to the nearby wateringhole. Untangling themselves from each other, Kagome bashfully tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, her blush spread over her entire face and her eyes resolutely locked on the sidewalk. Coughing, she struggled for words as he looked on, strangely unable to look away from the lips he'd only been starting to taste.
"I… I guess we should turn in," she stuttered, "My flight's pretty early tomorrow…"
The long, sleepless night passed in awkward silence, each shallowly breathing lump on the two beds hyper aware of every shift and shuffle the other made. And then in the morning, with dark circles under both their eyes, Inuyasha drove her to the airport, gradually feeling himself begin to hyperventilate as an impulse inside him screamed desperately to beg her to stay. He helped her with her bags, she tried to return his jacket, they muttered awkward goodbyes. And he stood on the curb, watching her back grow slowly smaller.
"Hey," his voice called to her as she was about to enter the airport. Her heart fluttered hopefully as she whirled around.
"Yeah?" she said, suddenly tight chested and short of breath.
He suddenly seemed to search for words, his mouth open and uncertain. Finally, "I'm staying in Fairbanks a couple more days to get some more gear," he said, "So my phone will work, you know, for a little longer."
Kagome waiter, her eyes scanning his face while her heart pounded.
"Call me when you land?"
…
She moved with very little motion, almost floating as her feet took her down the jetbridge and into the terminal. The last several hours had been a daze, with the white noise of the plane engine pressing in around her, forcing her perception inward and she'd dreamed of thick, lush alders and breathtaking mountain scapes. The bright light of the terminal invaded her mind with a piercing ray of artificial light and it was a moment before she recognized familiar cafe's and signs of her home airport. People bustled around her, busy and preoccupied, staring at screens or rushing to a gate. The wheels of suitcases clattered against the hard tile and voices rose up, parents chiding children, business phone calls, announcers paging for an owner to reclaim a lost item. The world around her was suddenly sterile and bare and foreign and Kagome bit her lip as her body cried out its grief over the loss of the wild beauty that had briefly been hers. She felt it now, an emptiness in her flesh and bones and an ache rose up within her for the wild, reckless freedom she'd had for the past two weeks. It was with a disattached, neutral face which she wore as she made her way home, silent, pensive, and conflicted.
Kagome didn't really think as she moved, throwing her bags to the side upon entering her dark, quiet apartment. She stood at the center of the room, gazing into space, feeling the weight of her daily life returning to her shoulders and she found she didn't quite want to admit her vacation was over. Suddenly with urgent movements, she crossed the carpeted floor to her discarded bags. The zipper cried out into the silence as she pried the pack open. Reaching in, her hands pulled out his jacket, the scent of campfire smoke and sharp, biting pine, and the fresh, lush green of the Alaskan taiga gushed out and enveloped the air around her. And also him, his own dark, warm scent came around her shoulders in a comforting embrace and she pulled the collar up high against her face. She hugged herself tightly and in her mind, she was transported back to the Alaskan Brooks Range, his strong arms around her and holding her close and warm. Standing frozen, breathing in deeply, her heart gave out a cry that seemed to echo and resonate silently in the empty room. She swallowed hard past a sudden lump that had formed inside her throat. She squatted down beside her bags and after a little further digging and found her cellphone, flicking through her contacts until she found that recently added number. Though she felt their distance keenly, it was a relief that settled into every corner of her unsettled mind as she lifted the phone to her ear. It rang for only a second before a click and then a deep, endearing voice answered.
"Hey."
…
The END!
…
Short Epilogue:
…
From: Inuyasha Takahashi
Sent: Friday, July 26, 2019
To: Miroku theIdiot
Subject: Join us on our special day!
Attending? _X_Y/_N
+1? _Y/_X_N, Name: _
Dietary restrictions? _ No Dairy, _ No Gluten, _ Vegan/Vegetarian, Other: WTF is gluten?
Click the link to see our registry! - Buy your own damn shit!
A/N: so… what do you think? I had always really wanted the story to end this way, totally unresolved, because that feeling of loss and yearning was something I experienced when I came back from alaska and drove through the city for the first time in two weeks. It's so weird how healing it is to be out there, and how empty you feel when you get back.
Sequel? Well, at the very least, I have a short one in mind to help resolve this unfinished business of Inuyasha and Kagome :P not sure when i'll get to it but i'm definitely open to ideas/suggestions in the meantime so let me know what you think would make the most sense for them :)