Much people have no idea that actually, dreams happen almost before you wake up, and though I feel like I've dreamed for the last eight hours it's likely only five minutes passed. This morning I opened my eyes just before reaching for him. I always had the same dream. I walk, see him and start to run until I'm so close I could reach his cheek with my fingers. But is never close enough. Not even in my dreams, I can get close enough to him.

Nevertheless, I was thrilled. It seemed too real. I've always been the type of person that has insomnia. Night after night I would lay quietly. Curtains opened as wide as my eyes. Millions of thoughts going through my mind, all of them leading to him. I longed for him in every breath.

Each time became a little too late for me to dream. And dreaming of him was a blessing.

I have been focusing on the past way too much. Is hard for me to keep up with things happening in front of me, I'm always daydreaming. What if Craig wanted me the way I wanted him? I will never know. If he doesn't tell me, at least. I highly doubt he will. And I'm not brave enough to ask him. Bebe had told like a million times that I should talk with him about my feelings. I got the feeling that she is right. Unlike me, she always is. I'm just scared, I know it's true. Craig is the closest friend I ever had. It should be easy, hell, so easy to tell him...

If only Craig loved me— If he talked to me more often.

Back into reality, Bebe took my hand. The class was over.

"Honey," she said. Cheesy nicknames are her thing. "Someone has been looking at you."

I knew, because of her tone, that it was Craig.

"Oh! what a surprise, you know? Maybe this is the glorious day when he dares to face me," I say, jokingly. "We talk stuff, he realizes he's in love with me and we make up."

She laughed. "Stop pretending you don't care. I know you do."

I shrug. "Yeah, we both know..., but—"

From behind, someone touched my shoulder. I didn't have time to react like a normal person (I never do) so I freaked. Being ready to punch whoever was there, I realized that no one besides Craig and Kenny dears to touch me like that.

And Kenny didn't come to school today.

"Hello, Craig," Bebe says. Then she leaves.

And we are alone in the hallway.

"Hey," I say. I'm smiling, can't help it though I try.

He smiles too, slightly.

"We're going to Stark Pond tomorrow"

I guess he's trying to invite me, but my pride wants to hear him saying it.

"That sounds cool."

He bites his lip, changing his gaze directly to my eyes.

"Clyde will bring some random girl and Token already told Nichole, so..."

At the end of the hallway, Bebe looked at us, finger-banging me with a suspicious smile.

Craig holds my cold, shaking hand. His hands are likely the same size as mine. But chubbier and warmer.

My brain and heart stop functioning.

"So, I... Was wondering if you would like to come. With me."

Satisfied with the conflicted look he had, I say: "After school?"

Wanting to tease him a bit more (also not wanting to let go of his grip), softly whispered: "Bebe is not allowed to come, right?" He seems disappointed. I act like if I actually wanted her to come.

"Uh, you know I think she's cool but Clyde will be there, too, so..." I wanted to believe that he only said such because he wants to be alone with me.

Before he keeps talking I interrupt.

"Yeah, I get it." I wink at him. "Only me then."

The wide smile on his face could easily turn blind the entire world. I don't think a man as beautiful as he is ever lived. And I, ugly and common as a person can be, am blessed to see this piece of heaven.

Just to remind me miracles are real, destiny has sent one to my life today.

He nods, while I say "I'll be there."

Then he leaves. Bebe and I are free to go home now. I feel like I could fly from happiness.

We walk side by side. She grabs my shoulder, I see by the look on her face that she wants to know about my little conversation with Craig.

"Guess what," I begin "We'll hang tomorrow"

"It's a date," I can hear her smile through her voice.

"It's not. Clyde and Token will be there." Deep inside, I know he knows that indeed, we will go on a date. Still, my stubbornness tells me to act otherwise.

"They're gonna bring girls, don't you dare to tell me is not."

"Well, yeah..." I gasp loudly, hoping she doesn't notice I'm overreacting so to lie to myself "But, he doesn't see it that—"

"Even if he doesn't, it's a date, honey. And you're the girl."

I felt frustrated that I could not argue with her. Everything Bebe said magically became true apparently just because she said so.

My hands, that usually tremble, could start an earthquake by itself right now. Bebe noticed, grabbed my hand kindly. "I wish I could stop you from going. I could do so much better than Craig..."

Those words came quickly, messed and wet. It felt heartbroken. I checked if someone was looking in our direction before talking. The panic I felt was harder than anything, the fact that someone could see her and I this way scared me way more than hurting her feelings. Because when you hurt someone there is always some way to fix the damage. Unlike when you screw everyone's image of you, it will stick with you for the rest of your life.

I know it should not be that way. I know I should care more about her in moments like this one. I guess I'm a selfish loser.

"I-I am sorry." Is the only thing that comes out.

An uncomfortable instant goes by, but it feels like I wasted my entire life in it.

"You know, is not that I don't like you. Is that I don't like girls. Like, at all."

Bebe laughed. "I know, honey. I know."

"Craig, better be a good date or I might try to change my gender so I can steal his boy."