A/N: Thanks for your reviews.
Chapter 4- No Going Back – February 4, 1963
Naomi McKenzie slowly finished her cleanup of the kitchen under the hopeful looking gaze of her daughter. She sighed; doing her best to avoid that pair of green eyes that was pinned upon her. She had been hoping that with dinner and her small birthday party, Johanna would forget what she had promised her for the last six months…after all, she hadn't mentioned it in a few weeks so she had been hopeful.
But she had a feeling that her hopes were going to be dashed. She closed her eyes, her eldest daughter was twelve today…God, how had it been twelve years already? She was growing up so quickly…and she was in a hurry to get there too, she couldn't help but think; but then again, so was Frankie. Another sigh slipped past her lips; Frankie's voice had been changing over the past year and Frank had taught him how to shave just a few months ago.
Naomi stole a quick glance at her daughter, she was still waiting at the table; her chores dismissed for the evening in the name of her birthday. She waited quietly and it was somewhat unnerving even if she did know what this was about. Her heart ached a little; her baby was in such a hurry…it was bad enough that she had bought her a selection of bras over the last year…that she was growing taller, filling out a little in her hips…and now; now she was desperate to shave her legs.
"Why?" Naomi silently asked; the voice in her head anguished. Why couldn't her little girl just slow down? Why did she need to take a razor to her legs, placing yet another checkmark on the list for the impending teenage years? Once she shaved, the only thing that would be left would be having her period and that couldn't be far off, she mused…her girl was already having mood swings and was sometimes emotional…much to her father's chagrin.
But then again, a lot of things were to Frank's chagrin lately when it came to their daughter. He was beside himself when she bought her her own perfume and deodorant from Avon. He almost blew a vessel when she came home from a sleepover with her fingernails and toenails painted pink.
He'd probably have a stroke if she shaved her legs.
He'd probably die the day she had to hand her a pad and tell her to mark her days on the calendar in her room.
Of course, she felt like she might not be too far behind him every time Frankie talked about the glorious day when he'd be able to drive.
Naomi took a shuddering breath; she couldn't take this. She wasn't ready. Frank wasn't ready…but her kids were ready; at least two of them. Colleen would be ten in April and was lacking in the area of maturity.
"Mom," Johanna said from the table.
"Yes, dear?"
"Are you done cleaning up?"
God, she wished she wasn't. "Yes, I'm finished," Naomi admitted as she laid the dishcloth on the sink; the counters scrubbed to within an inch of their life.
"Is it time now?" Johanna asked, a smile on her lips, excitement shining in her eyes.
"Time for what?"
The smile faded, her dark brow rising. "You promised, Mama," Johanna said seriously. "You promised if I waited until I was twelve, I could do it on my birthday. You promised…don't you remember?"
Her mother frowned and Johanna's heart fell; surely she wasn't going to do this to her, was she? She promised she could shave her legs…she didn't want to be the last girl in her class to do it…worse yet, the last girl in her group of friends. So far Becca and Janet hadn't done it yet but she didn't want to keep putting it off and besides, she had already told Becca that she was going to do it. She didn't want her friend laughing in her face the next day if she showed up at school with the same unshaved legs she had now. It had to be tonight…she was tired of waiting; she was twelve years old; they were her legs; she could shave them if she wanted to.
"I'm shaving my legs," she stated, her tone serious as she held her mother's stare.
"Johanna," Naomi breathed; "Why don't you wait a little longer; you could…"
"No! You said twelve; I'm twelve now!"
"You just turned twelve today; there's no need to rush."
"You said I could do it on my birthday!" her daughter retorted; "And I'm doing it!"
"Bambina…"
"No," her daughter stated. "You promised, Mom!"
"Johanna; you do realize that once you start shaving, you can't stop. You have to do it all the time," Naomi stated; hoping the idea of lifelong commitment would scare her off.
"I know, I'm ready," Johanna said anxiously.
Naomi was glad she was ready, because she sure wasn't. "Honey, are you really sure you want to do this? There's really no harm in waiting a little longer; your legs aren't in danger of getting you an unkind nickname yet."
Her daughter huffed as she got up from the chair. "You just want me to stay a baby! Well I'm not a baby! I want to shave my legs; I want to do it now; I waited and you promised! I'm just going to go do it; I don't need you to show me."
"Johanna, wait," Naomi said, resigning herself to the idea as her child reached the threshold of the kitchen.
Johanna turned to face her, that stubborn look she had inherited from her father on her face. "Why?"
"Because…I promised; so we'll go do it."
Johanna smiled brightly, hurrying toward her, her arms slipping around her waist in a hug. "Thank you, Mama," she murmured happily.
Naomi ran her hand over her daughter's hair, holding her tightly for a moment, trying to will back the moisture that stung her eyes. She pressed a kiss to her head. "I know you already took your shower earlier because of the party; so go put on your nightgown and then go wash your legs again."
"Okay," she said excitedly.
"I'll change and get you a razor and be up in a few minutes," Naomi told her.
Johanna eyed her warily. "You promise?"
"I promise, Bambina."
Johanna hurried from the kitchen and up the stairs, running into her bedroom and to the dresser to find one of her short nightgowns.
"What are you doing?" Colleen asked as she changed into her pajamas.
"Nothing."
"Uh huh," her sister accused as she hurried back to the door. "Where are you going?"
"To change."
"Can we read after you change?"
Johanna paused as she hurried back to the door. "Maybe…but I might be a little while. You can go ahead and read without me."
"What do you mean you're going to be awhile?" Colleen asked. "What are you doing?"
"I'll tell you later," Johanna said as she hurried away, rushing into the bathroom and closing the door.
She stripped off the blue dress she had worn for her party and tossed it on top of the clothes hamper before dropping her pink nightgown over her head. She moved to the bathtub and filled it with a little bit of water before grabbing her washcloth and soap. She perched on the edge of the tub and scrubbed her legs, rinsing off the soap and leaving her skin damp. Her foot tapped against the floor anxiously, waiting for her mother to come upstairs…and if it got to be too long of a wait; she'd just take Frankie's razor out of the medicine cabinet and do it herself.
A few minutes passed, her legs starting to dry, so she splashed more water on them and silently fumed. What was taking her mother so long? Why was she making such a big deal about this when she promised she'd let her do this? Didn't she understand how important this was to her…she had gym class tomorrow; she wanted to have smooth legs when she put on that dorky uniform.
The bathroom door opened and anticipation leaped in her veins. "What are you doing in here?" Colleen asked.
"Oh my God; don't you knock!" Johanna exclaimed. "You're not supposed to walk in when someone's in the bathroom!"
"You're not doing anything," her sister retorted.
"It doesn't matter, Bug! Go away."
"No; I don't have to," Colleen said. "Why are you sitting in here?"
"It's none of your business, get out."
"No; not until you tell me what you're doing."
"I'm not telling you anything; and next time I'm in a room by myself, you knock before coming in!"
"I only have to do that for Frankie!" Colleen stated.
"No, you don't! It's for everyone."
"Girls," Naomi said as she stepped into the bathroom. "What's going on?"
"Johanna won't tell me what she's doing in here," Colleen said, her hand on her hip.
"I had the door closed and she came in without knocking!" Johanna exclaimed.
"Colleen!" Naomi exclaimed. "You know better than that!"
"I only have to knock for Frankie!"
"No; you knock for everyone in the house. Does your sister walk in on you in the bathroom?"
"No," she muttered.
"Then you don't do it to her," Naomi said as she perched on the other end of the tub, sitting a can on Frank's shave cream down and handing Johanna one of the pink razors in her hand.
"I just want to know what she's doing," Colleen whined.
"I'm shaving my legs," Johanna stated as she took the cap off the razor.
"Can I shave my legs?!" Colleen asked.
"No!" Naomi exclaimed.
"Why not?" her youngest child pouted. "Johanna's doing it."
"Johanna's older than you, dear; you're still too young."
"I am not!"
"You are too; you can shave when you're twelve, not a moment sooner."
"That's not fair."
"Shut up, Colleen," Johanna stated. "This isn't about you."
"Johanna," Naomi warned.
"Well it's not!"
"I know; but she's just a little girl, you have to understand."
"I'm not a little girl!" Colleen whined. "It's not fair; I don't get to wear a bra. I don't get to shave. I don't get Avon perfume. I don't get to do anything!"
"You will, sweetheart; Johanna's older than you…you'll have your time, I promise. Why don't you go read for a little while?"
"Can't I watch?"
"No," Johanna said. "Go back to our room."
"I wanna watch!"
"Johanna; let your sister watch," Naomi stated.
"No! I don't want her in here."
"It won't hurt to let her stay."
"No! I want it to be just me and you."
"Johanna," her mother sighed.
"Just forget it!" her daughter yelled. "Why do I always have to do everything with her?! Can I ever do anything without her? I have to go to dance class with her. She had to take ice skating with me. I have to walk with her to school, home from school; I have to share everything with her. The only time I get away from her is when I'm in the bathroom and she's done barged in here now!"
Naomi closed her eyes, trying to ignore the tears of frustration laying in Johanna's gaze and the petulant look on her younger daughter's face. Johanna was right…Colleen was everywhere she went, in everything she did…but this was Johanna's day; it was her rite of passage and she had the right to say that she didn't want her sister as an audience.
"Colleen; your sister is getting older…and like with your brother, there are times when you have to respect her need for privacy and space. Johanna loves you very much, but she doesn't want you in here while I teach her how to do this and you need to respect that."
"Why!?"
"Because it's the right thing to do…just like we respect you when you need privacy."
Colleen glared at them, angry tears in her eyes. "I'm telling Daddy!"
"You go ahead if that will make you feel better," Naomi told her as she picked up the can of shaving cream. "Please close the door behind you."
Colleen stormed from the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Naomi sighed a little and glanced at her daughter. "Johanna, you're going to have to understand that it's going to be hard for Colleen to see you doing grown up things that she's not old enough to do yet. She's used to doing everything with you."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Yeah; I know…because I always have to do everything with her."
"You love your sister."
"I never said I didn't," Johanna replied. "Just sometimes I get tired of having to be with her all the time. Did you want to be around Aunt Rita all the time?"
"No," Naomi admitted; "And I do understand that you feel the way you do but you have to understand how your sister feels too."
"I do…can we do this now?"
Naomi shifted on the edge of the tub, putting her back against the wall as she propped her leg up in front of her; adjusting her short robe so that it wouldn't be in her way. She sprayed some of the white foamy shave cream into her hand. "I like to use your Daddy's shave cream for this because it helps the razor glide smoothly," she explained as she spread it over her leg. She rinsed her hand off in the water in the tub and then handed the can to her daughter. "Do it the way I did it," she told her. "Be careful not to use too much; you just want to coat the leg, not bury it."
"Okay," Johanna replied, spraying some of the foam into her hand and then slathering it onto her leg that she propped up on the edge of the tub like her mother had.
"You don't need to go that far up!" Naomi exclaimed, seeing her daughter take the shaving cream above the knee.
"But there's hair there," Johanna remarked.
"I know, dear; but it's very fine and a girl your age doesn't need to shave above the knee yet."
"Do you shave above the knee?" her daughter asked.
"Yes."
"Then why can't I?"
"Because you're only twelve and it's not necessary…and you're going to do what I tell you or we don't do this at all tonight."
"Okay," Johanna relented; figuring she'd just shave above the knee next time when her mother wouldn't be in the room.
The can of shave cream was placed in the small amount of space between their feet on the edge of the tub and Johanna looked at her mother expectantly.
Naomi sighed, looking at her daughter in her pale pink nightgown; her long dark hair still pulled back like it had been for her party…shaving cream slathered on her leg, new pink razor in her hand. "Are you sure you're ready?" she asked once more.
"Yes, Mom!" her daughter declared in exasperation.
"Alright, darling," Naomi replied as she uncapped her own razor. "The blade is sharp; if you're not careful, you'll cut yourself…and believe me, if you don't tonight, you will at some point in life. It happens to everyone."
"Will it hurt a lot?"
"Not as much as childbirth," she muttered, while silently adding, 'and not as much as being forced to acknowledge that your daughter is rushing her way into being a teenager'."
"Mom."
Naomi smiled seeing Johanna's unamused look. "It'll sting…it'll bleed a little. Just be careful; you don't want your legs full of nicks."
"I'll be careful," Johanna promised.
"Alright; you're going to start at your ankle," her mother said, placing her razor against the base of her ankle; "And you're going to go up to your knee in smooth, even strokes," she instructed as she glided her razor up her leg.
Johanna watched and then positioned her razor at the base of her ankle.
"Once you take that first swipe, Bambina; there's no going back…remember, once you start, you can't stop."
Johanna glanced at her mother, wondering why she kept trying to talk her out of it but she said nothing, merely glanced back down at her leg as she moved the razor upwards.
Naomi swallowed hard, seeing that first smooth patch of leg amid the shave cream. She had done it…her daughter had taken that first swipe despite the warning…there was no going back. Adjusting to buying her bras had been bad enough…this was just one more example that her baby wasn't a little girl anymore.
"Did I do it right?" Johanna asked; taking her mother's silence as a sign that she had done it wrong.
"Yes, sweetheart; you did just fine. Now rinse the razor in the water," she stated, demonstrating with her own, "that gets the shaving cream and the hair off the razor and then we take the second swipe."
Johanna smiled and cleaned off her razor before positioning it on her skin once more; gliding it upwards in unison with her mother.
The door of the bathroom opened, Frank coming into the room, Colleen on his heels, glee written across her face.
"What the hell are you doing!" Frank bellowed.
"Ow!" Johanna said, his presence startling her, making her nick her leg.
"Frank!" Naomi yelled. "What are you doing barging in here? Now you made her cut herself. Are you alright, darling?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," Johanna said, her fingertip dabbing at the small cut.
"What are you doing to her?!" Frank yelled again, a touch of anguish in his voice, his gaze pinned to his daughter's leg.
"I'm not doing anything to her," Naomi answered. "I'm teaching her how to shave her legs…like I promised I would."
"She's just a little girl!"
"No, I'm not!" Johanna exclaimed. "I'm twelve; I'm almost a teenager!"
"I didn't ask you!" her father retorted; his gaze shifting back to his wife. "How could you do this!?"
"Frank," she said with a laugh. "You know girls shave their legs at a certain age."
"She's too young."
"No…she's not; she said she was ready."
"Well she's not," Frankie said, his tone low and even as his gaze shifted to Johanna. "You wash that stuff off your leg and get to bed, little girl!"
"I'm not a little girl and I'm not stopping!" Johanna said defiantly, taking another swipe up her leg with the razor.
"Stop that!"
"Frank, calm down," Naomi told him. "She's twelve…she's ready…and once you start you can't just quit. She has to finish that leg and do the other one."
"I can't believe you're doing this," he exclaimed.
"It'll be alright, honey," she told him. "Go back downstairs and watch TV; I'll be down later and I'll console you…and as for you, Colleen; we're going to have a talk before you go to bed."
"You said I could tell daddy if it would make me feel better," Colleen remarked.
"Yes, I know…do you feel better?"
"Uh huh…because now Johanna's in trouble and that's what she gets for not letting me watch."
"Oh my God, you're such a baby!" Johanna said, shooting a glare at her sister. "I would've told you all about it in our room but you just have to be a tattle tale."
"See, Colleen," Naomi stated; "Your sister would've shared her new experience with you if you had just waited; but you couldn't just go to your room and wait…you had to try and get her in trouble; and she isn't in trouble for growing up so you didn't accomplish anything accept upsetting your father. Do you still feel better?"
"Yes," Colleen stated.
Naomi eyed her youngest child. "Go to your room, Colleen; now."
"I don't get to do anything!" Colleen yelled as she stormed away.
"What's going on?!" Frankie asked as he appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. "Oh my God, mouthy; you're shaving your legs?! Why are you doing that? Did someone call you hairy Mary or something?"
Johanna closed her eyes. "No! I just wanted to do it. Does everyone have to be in here?!"
"Frankie," Naomi stated; "Johanna respects your privacy, please respect hers and go back to your room."
"Okay," he laughed. "I just hope she doesn't cut her leg off."
"I won't!" Johanna exclaimed; "Unless Dad keeps yelling at me."
"Your father isn't going to yell anymore," Naomi stated as she got up from the edge of the tub. "Both of you, out!"
"But she's just a little girl," Frank complained.
"Go watch TV, dear; I'll be down in a little while," she told him as she pushed him out the door.
Her husband was still sputtering in the hallway as she closed the door and locked it. "There, Bambina; there won't be anymore interruptions."
"I'm glad," Johanna sighed as she rinsed the razor and took another swipe.
"Be careful going over your ankle bone; you'll want to apply a little less pressure around the ankle bone and when you go over your knees," Naomi instructed as she retook her seat.
"Why is Dad making such a big deal about this?" Johanna asked as she followed her mother's instructions, glancing at her as she demonstrated with her own razor.
"Because you're his first girl…and it's hard for him to think of you growing up."
"Why?" she laughed.
"Because you're his baby girl."
Johanna shook her head. "He doesn't even like me."
Naomi's heart ached. "That's not true; your father loves you very much…and seeing you go through these milestones is hard for him…it's hard for me too."
"I don't know why."
"Because you're my baby," Naomi murmured; "You'll understand one day when you have a baby."
Johanna laughed a little. "How old do I have to be for that?"
"Married," Naomi said firmly, rinsing her razor with more vigor than necessary. "You have to be married."
"That's not an age."
"Trust me; it is. You're going to finish school and go to college…and then you'll meet a nice young man who has a good job and you'll get married. Then you can have a baby…in that exact order."
"Okay," she said; silence lingering with the exception of Naomi explaining how to do the back of her leg and her knee.
"Mama," Johanna said after rinsing off her finished leg.
"What?" she asked, watching as her daughter began to put shaving cream on her left leg.
"How did you meet Dad?"
Naomi smiled. "I met him at his office actually."
"Really?"
"Yes…his company was only a year old then and he had an advertisement in the newspaper that he needed a new secretary. I was trained to be a secretary so I went and applied at his office."
"But you teach piano," Johanna stated.
"I know…but the war was in its last throes and people weren't taking lessons like they used to. I learned to be a secretary as well as a piano teacher when I was in college."
"Did Dad give you the job?"
"No," she laughed.
"Why not?"
"I didn't type fast enough to suit him," she replied; "But he liked me…he asked me to have dinner with him and I did."
"And then what?"
"And then we dated for two years…and then he finally asked me to marry him and I said yes. We got married and we lived in a little tiny apartment until I found out that I was having your brother. Then we bought this house and Frankie was born…and then, awhile later, we prayed for a baby girl and God gave us you…and then one day there was Colleen."
Johanna smiled. "How did you know that you wanted to marry Dad?"
"I wanted to marry him because I loved him."
"But how did you know you loved him enough to marry him?"
Naomi smiled a little as she met her daughter's eye. "It's not something that can really be explained, darling; when it happens, you just know…love makes you feel wonderful; and when it's the right man, you can't ever picture yourself being anywhere but where he is."
"Will I feel that way one day?" Johanna asked.
"You will," her mother said confidently. "You'll find your special someone one day and you'll know he's the one you're meant to be with."
Johanna smiled. "I wonder where he is now?"
"Oh, I imagine he's probably doing his homework so he can be a smart boy who gets into a good college so he'll have a good job and be able to take care of his wife."
"I hope he's cute," she mused aloud.
"Oh, I'm sure he will be."
"Do you think he'll think I'm pretty?" Johanna asked softly.
"Of course he will," Naomi said, rinsing off her razor. "You are pretty…and that nice young man you'll find one day; in his eyes, you'll be the most beautiful girl in the world."
"I wonder when I'll meet him."
"When the time is right…you have to meet a few wrong ones first; and then you'll find him. Trust me, sweetheart; one day your prince will come."
Johanna smiled. "I hope so."
"He will; I'm sure of it."
Small talk fell between them as they finished shaving their legs, and Naomi felt the band around her heart loosen a bit as she talked with her daughter. She wasn't losing her…she was growing into young lady; one with dreams and ideas…curiosity and shy questions. She was changing; not just physically with the addition of bras to her wardrobe, the growth spurt, the hips and shapely legs that were now shaved. She was growing in every other way too…and it didn't have to mean the end of their closeness. Their bond could grow and change too. It wasn't the end…just a new beginning.
Naomi shook off her thoughts as Johanna finished rinsing off her legs. "Sometimes after you shave, your legs can feel dry," she told her; "If they do, put some lotion on them."
"They feel okay," Johanna replied, running her hands over them. "Nice and smooth."
Naomi smiled. "Do you feel better now?"
A bright smile broke across her daughter's lips. "Yeah, I do."
"Good," she said as she rose and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "While we're here, we may as well tackle the other joy of shaving; under the arm."
"Oh good," Johanna said; "I wanted to mention it but I was afraid someone might cry."
Naomi laughed softly. "I'll probably cry a little later…and one day, when you have a daughter; you might cry a little too when you have to do this."
Her daughter looked skeptical but said nothing as they went through their shaving lesson. When it was finished, Naomi opened the medicine cabinet and put Johanna's razor inside on a shelf Colleen wouldn't be able to reach. "Don't let that where your sister can get it," she told her; "Or she'll be in here cutting up her legs just to be like you."
"I'll be careful with it, I promise."
"Alright, sweetheart; and remember…you can't stop now."
"I don't want to; I like it," Johanna replied, a smile on her lips.
Naomi ran her hand over her hair. "I know…I guess it is new and exciting for you right now. Did you have a good birthday, Bambina?"
"Yes; I had fun at the party…and you kept your promise. It was a good birthday."
"Good," Naomi said as she pulled her daughter into a hug.
"Thank you, Mama," Johanna whispered.
"For what?"
"For this," she murmured; "I know you didn't want me to do it."
"It's just hard to let you grow up, baby," Naomi whispered; "But I can't stop you…all I can do is teach you."
"Is Dad still going to yell tomorrow?"
"No; I'll take care of him," she told her. "It's time for you to go to bed; school tomorrow."
Johanna released her and met her eye. "Can I read to Colleen first?"
She smiled. "I think that would be very nice of you; you girls can have thirty minutes of reading time and then I want lights out, okay?"
"Okay, Mama," she replied; she just hoped her sister wouldn't be annoying and say no just because she was mad.
Naomi walked with Johanna to the girls room and made her way to her youngest child's bed. She settled down on the side and quietly reminded her daughter that her siblings needed privacy, just as she did; and if she continued to breach it, there would be consequences. Colleen grudgingly nodded in the spots she was expected to and then accepted her mother's kiss goodnight. Naomi then moved back across the room to Johanna's side, kissing her forehead and wishing her happy birthday once again before leaving the room, hoping her girls would reconcile.
Silence lingered between the sisters after the door closed, Colleen avoiding her sister's gaze until she finally broke the silence. "Did you shave your stupid legs?" she asked.
"Yeah, I did," Johanna said as she took a Nancy Drew book off the shelf and made her way to her sister's bed.
"It's not fair," her sister grumbled.
"You'll do it too one day."
"Why can't I do it with you?"
"Because you're not twelve yet," Johanna replied. "You'll be twelve in two years."
"But then you'll be fourteen…and we won't even be in the same school anymore."
"I know…but it'll be okay," she told her. "We'll still share a room…I'll still like you."
"It's still not fair…you get bras and perfume and now you shave your legs."
"You're going to have bras too," Johanna stated; "You're going to be ten soon, I didn't have a real bra then either. I had to wait until I was eleven."
Colleen huffed. "It takes too long."
"Be glad," her sister stated. "Dad yells about everything when you get older."
"He yells about everything now."
"That's true," she said as she nudged her sister. "Move over."
"Why?"
"I thought you wanted me to read with you," Johanna said, showing her the book in her hand. "Don't you want to?"
Colleen nodded and moved over so her sister could slip beneath the covers with her. "Did it hurt when you cut yourself?"
"Yeah; but just for a few seconds; it's a really small cut."
"Are you going to shave again?"
Johanna nodded. "I have to; you can't stop once you start."
"Why not?"
"Because then you'll have hairy legs," she answered as she opened the book.
"That wouldn't be good," Colleen remarked.
"Definitely not," Johanna agreed while turning the title page.
Colleen brushed her foot against her sister's bare leg. "It feels nice, sissy."
Johanna smiled. "Yeah; it does, doesn't it? They're soft and smooth."
"Will mine feel like that?"
"Yeah; but right now your legs aren't ready."
"Will you teach me when they are?" her sister asked.
"Mom will want to do that," Johanna replied.
"But what if she says no, I'm too young even though I'll be twelve then."
"Then I'll teach you," she stated; "But only if Mom says no…and she'll try to talk you out of it a bunch of times…so just tell her you'll do it without her and then she'll let you do it…when you're twelve. You have to wait until twelve and tell her that."
"Okay, I'll tell her that when I'm twelve…did you like it?"
"Yeah; I like it…you feel like a grown-up lady."
"I wish I could feel like a grown-up lady," Colleen said softly.
"You will; you just have to wait your turn," her sister told her. "You ready to read?"
"Yeah…I love you, sissy."
"I love you too," Johanna murmured, allowing her sister to snuggle close to her.
When Naomi made her way downstairs, she didn't find her husband in front of the TV as expected. She frowned a little, making her way to the bedroom so she could put her razor back in the bathroom. As she stepped into the room, her husband glared at her as he sat on the edge of his side of the bed. "I can't believe you did that," he stated tartly.
"Did what?" she asked, stepping into the master bathroom to put the razor away.
"You shaved her legs," he retorted.
"I didn't shave her legs; Johanna shaved them," Naomi said as she came back into the room and shed her robe.
"You shouldn't have allowed it! She's a little girl."
"She's not a little girl, Frank. She's twelve years old."
"She's been twelve for less than twenty-four hours!"
Naomi sighed; it was going to be a long night. "It doesn't matter, dear; she's still twelve…she's been after me for the last six months to let her shave her legs and I held her off, telling her if she waited, she could when she was twelve. I promised her."
"So what? You could've lied."
"Should we lie to our children?"
"Yes! It's what we're supposed to do," Frank stated. "I'm pretty sure it's page one in the handbook."
"Who told you that?"
"God," he stated firmly.
"Really?" Naomi said with a soft laugh as she sat down at her vanity. "When did God tell you this?"
"It doesn't matter…it's just a well known fact that we promise our kids things to shut them up and then we lie and say we didn't."
"Not about things like this, Frank; she's becoming a young lady."
"Well who told her to do that!" he yelled.
"God did, honey."
"Don't be a smart mouth, Naomi."
She sighed once more as she turned to look at him. "Frank; you do realize that she's wearing a bra now…a teenage one, but a bra none the less. Surely you've noticed that she's not looking much like a little girl anymore."
He looked at her with disdain. "I don't look at her there!"
Naomi laughed. "How can you not see it? She's not flat as a board anymore like Colleen is."
"I don't look at them there!"
She continued to laugh. "Well tomorrow at breakfast, I suggest you glance at Johanna below the neck; you'll see that she's definitely in progress in that area."
Frank closed his eyes, anguish written across his face. "Why?"
"You know why; because it's time," she remarked. "She's wearing a bra…her hips are filling out, her legs are losing that childlike look and becoming more womanly, she's gained a few inches in height. I bought her the bras; I got her perfume and deodorant; just like you bought Frankie cologne and deodorant."
"That's different," Frank stated. "He's a boy, he stinks. Johanna doesn't stink."
"That's because Johanna, as a girl, is more conscientious about bathing every day and using things that smell nice. Frankie; up until this past year was a little lax in showering regularly unless told repeatedly."
"It's still different," he muttered.
"Frank; it was just as hard for me knowing you were teaching Frankie how to shave as it is for you knowing I just taught Johanna how to shave her legs. My little boy is growing up and his father is teaching him what he needs to know to be a man…and your little girl is growing up and I have to teach her how to be a woman. If I hadn't shown her how to do it properly, she would've just done it herself and ended up cutting herself more than once."
"She's not ready to be a woman!" he exclaimed. "She's just a baby."
"She's not a baby…and she's going to be a woman before long whether you like it or not. The physical changes aren't the only thing going on right now, she's moody and emotional, protective of her privacy…she's noticing boys."
"What boys!" he yelled. "What's she doing with boys!?"
"Nothing yet, dear. She's just noticing them."
"How do you know?" he asked sharply.
"Because I have eyes, Frank! I see her looking at them; I see her get shy and blush when a boy speaks to her. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have a crush on some boy."
"What boy? Where are these boys?!"
"Everywhere, Frank; school, church, neighborhood. There are boys everywhere. She's noticing them…they're not following her home from school…"
"They better not," he said darkly.
"She's becoming aware of them; she's just browsing, she hasn't tried to pick one up yet."
"She better not; I'll slap her in an all-girls boarding school and kill the little bastard," he stated firmly.
She laughed. "Relax, Frank; we've got a few years before she wants to go out for a soda with a boy."
"She's not going," he muttered.
"You can't keep her from being interested in boys; you can't keep her from going out with them one day in the future. You want her to get married one day, don't you?"
"Yes; but I want her to be educated first. She's smart; she's going to go to college and make something of herself."
"I told her she has to finish school before getting married; not that she's thinking of eloping anytime soon. When we were upstairs, she asked me how you and I met."
"Did you stress the fact that when I met you, you were legal and had an education?"
"Yes, dear; she knows I was out of school. She's just curious about how people end up together…about love and how you know it's right."
"Christ, Naomi; she shouldn't be talking about such things."
"Don't be ridiculous; all girls her age wonder about love and romance."
"Well don't go making it sound good!"
"Frank," she breathed; "You can't just lie to her, you can't just push a button and keep her a little girl. She's going to have crushes…puppy love…one day she'll date…one day some boy will break her heart."
"Oh God; I can just imagine the little punks she'll drag home," Frank stated. "Did you tell her to marry well? That when the time comes, years from now, she's to find a man who is well off and can take care of her?"
"Yes, darling," she soothed. "It's going to be alright."
"Doesn't feel like it," he muttered. "Bras and shaving legs…what's next? We catch her climbing out of some boy's car in the middle of the night?"
"No…next is having her period."
"Oh God! Don't say the 'P' word!"
She laughed. "She is going to have one, Frank; it's just a matter of time."
"Don't you have an idea of when?" he snapped.
"Probably when she's thirteen; that's how old I was," Naomi replied. "If you think she's moody and emotional now, wait until she has cramps and a pad shoved between her legs; she'll really be unhappy then."
Frank cringed. "Don't tell me these things!"
"I'm just preparing you for the inevitable," his wife stated; "And Colleen won't be far behind her…then you'll have two moody teenage girls and a moody wife."
"Jesus Christ," he murmured.
"There isn't anything he can do to help you, honey."
"Will all of you do it at the same time?"
"You better hope so; that way it'll only be one week of hellish moods. If we all go individually…well…there's four weeks in a month and three of us, you can do the math."
"I'm going to have to move out," Frank stated.
"Oh, no," Naomi laughed; "You're going to stay here and take it."
"I'm not ready for this, Naomi," he said quietly. "She was just a baby…remember we kept her in here in the cradle for a month longer than we should have because she just seemed too small to be upstairs in the crib by herself?"
Naomi moved to his side and sat down. "I remember; her head looked so small in the palm of your hand."
He nodded. "And now she has shaved legs."
"And breasts."
Her husband cringed once more. "I don't want to think about those."
Naomi laid her head on his shoulder. "It's not any easier for me, Frank. I look at Frankie and see that little boy who used to tug on my apron and demand cookies…and now he's taller than me, goes to high school; shaves and wears cologne, his voice is almost finished changing; he talks about driving…he's had his first serious girlfriend. Johanna's almost finished sixth grade; she's more interested in nail polish and movie magazines than dolls…has shaved her legs, wears a bra; thinks boys are cute. They're growing up and Colleen wants to catch up so badly she can't stand it."
"Why did we have kids?" Frank muttered; it just felt like they were losing them.
She sighed. "We thought it would be fun."
"I'm not having fun anymore," he stated.
"I'm not having too much fun myself lately," Naomi remarked. "We could try for another baby…"
"Get away from me, you're trouble," Frank remarked as he got up from the bed. "No more babies."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
Naomi smiled. "We'll just have to keep the ones we have…for however long we have them under our roof."
"Yeah…and next year on Johanna's birthday; I'm staying away from both of you because I don't want to hear or see anymore women's rituals."
She laughed. "I'm sure Johanna will appreciate that; and don't you barge in on her again like you did tonight. She's a young lady now and you need to start knocking. She needs her privacy."
Frank gave a nod as he left the room, heading for the kitchen and his bottle of whiskey in the cupboard. His daughter needed privacy to grow into a woman and he was going to need Jack Daniels to get through it.