Author's Note- Sorry that this has taken so long to get up, everyone! After posting the last chapter of this story, I realized that there were some pretty large plot holes in the coming chapters so I've been procrastinating fixing those. This chapter is good to go, though, and I hope you enjoy! :)
The next day, Meredith was in considerably better shape than she had been the day before. Her bruises were fading, she was dressed normally in jeans and a black top, and she had managed to sleep through the night without screaming at all. Sure, that was mostly due to the heavy doses of Trazodone and Clonazepam coursing through her system, but nobody had to know that.
According to Alex, Meredith had just suffered a temporary freak-out on Tuesday. Now, on Wednesday, she was back to her ordinary self, excited for Derek to be discharged from the hospital.
Meredith had spent most of the morning with her husband, who was more than ready to leave Seattle Grace. Thus far, he had not talked anymore about moving to Boston but Meredith knew that that conversation was coming when they got home. Derek just did not want to risk upsetting his wife when there were already plenty of emotional triggers in the ICU.
"I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday," Meredith said as she playfully helped Derek eat breakfast. "I was just freaking-out about your diagnosis and everything but… I mean, it's not anyone's fault, is it?"
"If it is, then they're going to owe us a lot of money," Derek said.
Eventually, the lawsuit regarding the plane crash was going to get underway but first, Owen was waiting until all of the survivors were a bit healthier. According to Larry Jenkins of the Board, Bayview Aeronautics was also preparing their defense and the plane was in the process of being removed from the forest so a proper investigation could be completed.
Around mid-morning, Derek took a nap so he could gather his energy for the discharge process which would begin in the afternoon and when he did, Meredith walked down the hall for the first time in a week and peeked into Lexie's room. Molly was nowhere to be seen, but Thatcher was at his daughter's bedside like usual, holding her hand and reading a magazine, simultaneously.
"Hi, Dad," Meredith said. The words sounded so wrong coming from her lips but she was not going to break the promises she had made, especially not in front of an unconscious Lexie.
Thatcher looked up, surprised. "Meredith! How are you feeling, sweetie?"
"I'm okay. Derek's going to be discharged in a few hours," Meredith said.
"That's wonderful. I'm so glad he's going to be okay," Thatcher smiled.
"Me, too." Meredith walked a few steps further into her sister's room and then after a few seconds of hesitation, took a seat on the other side of Lexie's bed, across from her father. "So… how is she today?"
"She's hanging in there… her vitals are strong and steady," Thatcher explained and then laughed. "Can you believe it? I finally actually learned what's considered a good blood pressure!"
Meredith smiled, too, weakly. "That's great."
"Yeah, I've been telling her stories all day… reminding her about her childhood. And I know it's Lexie, she doesn't really need a reminder but I'm sure she's glad to have her Daddy here anyway," Thatcher said.
Contrary to Meredith, Lexie really did love Thatcher. It was because of Lexie that Meredith had donated part of her liver to their father… because she knew that Lexie would be broken without either of her parents. So Meredith nodded again; she was sure that Lexie was happy to have family by her side.
"You know, I have to say, Meredith," Thatcher continued. "I was really surprised… pleasantly surprised… but surprised nonetheless when you started calling me Dad. Is there a particular reason why… that changed?"
It would be rude to confess the truth, so Meredith shrugged and resisted the urge to run. "I don't know… I guess we've just been through enough together that it seemed appropriate."
"Have you been referring to Molly as your sister?" Thatcher asked.
"No," Meredith said. "I mean… maybe I will in time. I don't know but right now, I just don't really feel like I know her. I know Lexie and I love Lexie but… Molly's going to take some time."
"That's understandable. But let me assure you, Molly really is a sweet girl. She's always kind of been an underdog, compared to Lexie… brilliant Lexie who has a photographic memory and finished first in her class at Harvard… but Molly is amazing in her own way."
Meredith nodded again. She wondered what words Thatcher used when he was describing her to Molly. Did he brag about how Meredith had gone to Dartmouth? Did he tell his friends from Alcoholics Anonymous about the groundbreaking clinical trial that Meredith had created with Derek?
Suddenly, Meredith remembered that the last time she had seen her father before the whole plane crash ordeal was when he had been in the hospital with kidney stones. At the time, Thatcher also had a girlfriend that appeared no older than Lexie.
"What ever happened to the girl you were dating from AA?" Meredith asked.
"Oh… we broke-up a while ago," Thatcher said. "She was moving down to San Francisco for graduate school and she wanted me to come, but I knew I couldn't leave Lexie all alone like that… or you. I couldn't leave either of you, and this is still Molly's home base."
Meredith raised her eyebrows. "Does Lexie know that? Does she know you broke-up with your girlfriend for her?"
"I don't know. And to be fair, it wasn't completely my choice. I was willing to do long-distance but Danielle wanted all of me or nothing. But it doesn't really matter. I'm over it. You girls are my priority."
Just then, there were approaching footsteps from behind and Meredith turned around to see Molly striding back into the room with two cups of coffee in her hands.
"Meredith!" Molly gasped and almost dropped the coffee. "I… I had no idea you would be here; otherwise, I would have brought you a coffee, too. But here, you can have mine if you want."
"That's alright; I think I've already maxed out on caffeine this morning," Meredith said.
"Are you sure?" Molly confirmed and Meredith nodded so she sat down next to her father. "Okay… how have you been? We haven't seen you in a while."
"I've been… fine… I mean, relatively speaking," Meredith said. "Just resting a lot at home, but Derek's being discharged today so that's good."
"That's awesome! Aw, I'm so glad he's okay," Molly said; her responses were almost identical to Thatcher's replies.
Meredith did not say anything; she just grabbed Lexie's other hand and stroked it a little. She loved Lexie, and she wanted to be there, but she also wanted to show Thatcher and Molly that she loved her sister.
"Eric just called," Molly said and it took Meredith a moment to realize that the youngest Grey sister was now addressing Thatcher. "He says that Laura and Aiden really miss me and want me to come home, but I told him I can't go yet… I mean, that's understandable, right?"
"Of course it is, sweetie. Laura and Aiden are safe with their Papa and Lexie needs you right now," Thatcher said.
"What about your job, Dad?" Meredith interjected. "Are you taking time off, or what?"
Thatcher shook his head. "I'm not working as of right now. Maybe I'll start again later, but I just decided to take an extended leave of absence. Even once Lexie's awake, she's going to need my help for a long time. She's gonna need help feeding herself and… and cleaning herself and I want to be there for all of it."
Molly had tears of pride in her eyes. "You really are the best dad in the entire universe."
"Oh, I highly doubt that," Thatcher said but he was blushing.
Meredith got up from the chair stationed next to Lexie. "Sorry, but I'm going to need to get going. Derek is waiting for me but I'll see you guys soon."
"Er… okay! Give Derek my best," Thatcher said.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Lexie?" Molly prompted.
Meredith paused, unsure what to do. There were instances where the comatose could hear and see those around them; Meredith had even spoken to Lexie last week but she was not sure if she wanted to make it a habit. Perhaps it was because Meredith was a doctor, but she just did not have that much faith that Lexie was waiting on her to say goodbye. It was not a permanent goodbye. It was goodbye until tomorrow.
Apparently this was something that was expected in the new Grey family though, so Meredith pressed a smile onto her face and squeezed Lexie's hand again. "Yeah… um… bye, Lex. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."
And then Meredith got the hell out of her sister's room because she did not want to listen for one second longer about how Thatcher was the best dad in the entire universe.
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It was 3:32 in the afternoon and Meredith had just finished helping Derek change into a pair of black lounging pants and a long-sleeved, navy pullover. Between the scrubs he had worn in the plane crash and the hospital gowns in Boise and Seattle, it was the first time that Derek had worn normal clothes in over two weeks. Meredith had forgotten quite how beautiful her husband looked in a simple sweatshirt.
"God, I can't wait to lie down in my own bed… in our bed," Derek sighed.
"Are you feeling okay?" Meredith asked; seeing Derek in a wheelchair had made his discharge seem so much more real. "Are you dizzy at all?"
"No. I've been walking around the ICU, Mer. I'm fine."
"Okay… okay, I'm sorry. I'm just worried."
Derek reached forward with his good hand and grabbed Meredith's, gently. "I know. But try not to… I'm fine. I feel fine. Schacter is going to fix my hand."
Schacter is going to get your hand to eighty percent, Meredith thought but she did not voice this thought; it was not something that Derek needed to hear. She just smiled and nodded.
"Right… okay, so are we ready to go? Are you ready to see Zola?"
"More than ready," Derek grinned.
Ever since the day that the surgeons had returned to Seattle from Boise, Meredith had not brought Zola to see her father. It did not have anything to do with Meredith's mental health… Zola had just gotten too scared that first day when Derek was lying in bed, injured and unstable. Sure, he had improved since then but Meredith did not want to risk traumatizing her daughter. Meredith was determined to be a better mother than her mother, Ellis had been.
"Okay, then… let's do it," Meredith smiled.
Tyler, one of the ICU nurses, took hold of the handles on Derek's wheelchair and pushed him off the unit, with Meredith trailing shortly behind. Alex was waiting outside of the emergency room in his Volvo with Zola strapped into her carseat in the back.
"Hey, Shepherd!" Alex called out the window as the trio approached. "Good to see you, man!"
"Hey, Karev," Derek said in response and then his eyes lit up at the sight of his daughter. "Zola!"
"DADDY!" Zola cried eagerly.
"Do you want to sit in the back with her or in front with Alex?" Meredith asked her husband.
It would be an awkward arrangement, regardless, but Derek did not seem to mind. "I'll sit in the back."
Together, Meredith and Tyler helped Derek out of his wheelchair and into the backseat of the Volvo. Meredith made sure that his seat belt was fastened securely, and then thanked Tyler for everything and jumped into the front passenger seat, next to Alex.
"So where are we going? Home? Or do you wanna go out someplace for a celebratory dinner?" Alex asked.
Meredith rolled her eyes. "What are we celebrating?"
"Er… I don't know, that both of you are out of the ICU and okay?"
"I'm a little tired; I think I'd prefer to just go home," Derek said.
"Yeah, and I'm going to make you two something special for dinner tonight," Meredith decided on a whim. She did not usually cook; in fact, it was a common joke that Derek and Owen had to make sure they fed their wives because otherwise, Meredith and Cristina would starve.
But Meredith could figure out something for one night. She would use the microwave if she had to… she wanted to thank Alex for all he had done and it would be the perfect way to jumpstart Operation I'm-Mentally-Healthy.
"You don't have to do that. We can order something… how does Chinese food sound?" Alex offered.
"I hate Chinese food," Meredith said. "And no, I want to cook for you guys."
Alex and Derek both seemed a bit skeptical but Meredith did not pay them any attention. She sat quietly for the rest of the drive home and waited for her latest dose of Clonazepam to kick in.
When they arrived, Alex immediately brought Zola inside the house and then came back to assist Meredith with helping Derek. He could walk decently on his own, but there was a large set of stairs in between the car and the front door, and Derek had not been practicing stairs yet.
Nevertheless, the neurosurgeon was gasping for air by the time that they made it into the living room. Meredith and Alex delicately helped Derek sit down on the couch to catch his breath, and Meredith retrieved him a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
"Just sit there and rest for a while. Alex, you sit down, too, and help him with Zola. I'm going to get started on dinner."
"What are you making?" Derek asked. "I don't even remember what we have; it's been so long… half of the food's probably spoiled."
"I went grocery shopping a few days ago. There's some spaghetti if you want to make that, Mer. It's relatively easy," Alex said.
Maybe Alex wanted spaghetti for dinner, but if he did, then that was too bad because Meredith did not even know how to cook noodles that were not instant ramen. She searched the refrigerator and cabinets for almost fifteen minutes for something that was within her culinary knowledge but in the end, came to the conclusion that she was going to have to make Derek and Alex sandwiches.
To make matters worse, Alex had eaten the last of the deli meat so Meredith was forced to pull out the peanut butter and jelly and spread the sticky substances on six pieces of wheat bread. Meredith was not hungry, but she had not been eating hardly anything lately and she did not want Alex or Derek to notice that she was continuing to lose weight.
Five minutes later, Meredith walked back into the living room and delivered the sandwiches, doing her best to prevent her face from turning red. It was not entirely successful.
"Um… this is your special, home-cooked meal?" Alex smirked.
"I… yes…"
"Well, it looks great," Derek said and took a big bite of his sandwich. "Mmm… I can't remember the last time I had one of these."
Grateful for her husband's support, Meredith sat down in between the two men and started to munch on her own sandwich. It was one of the better things she had tasted since being rescued from the woods.
Alex was eating, too; he made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time. It was probably just not what he expected from Meredith's special dinner. "Are you gonna make one for Zola, too, when she wakes up from her nap?"
"No, um… I have something else special in mind for Zola," Meredith said, thinking of the nutritious cereal that had been hiding in the cabinet.
Once the three surgeons were finished with their sandwiches, Alex and Meredith helped Derek up the second flight of stairs and into the master bedroom. Small amounts of activity still exhausted him easily, so he needed to take another nap.
While he was sleeping, Meredith fed Zola her cereal and then helped Alex clean up in the kitchen.
"You seem like you're feeling better," Alex remarked as he put away the jar of peanut butter. He had made himself a second sandwich because he was still hungry after eating the first.
"I am," Meredith admitted. It was not totally a lie either. She was not feeling as good as she was pretending to, but the Clonazepam was helping a lot. "I think just… you know, having him home…"
Alex nodded. "Yeah, I understand. Do you think Lexie's gonna move back here when she's better, too?"
"I don't know. I mean, my dad was talking about how he wanted to take care of her and I don't know if we'll have time for round-the-clock care… I don't even know if I'll still live here then."
"Oh, right… Boston," Alex remembered.
"No, I told you… I'm not moving to Boston anymore," Meredith said. "But Derek and I will probably be moving into the Dream House soon and… and you'll be off to Baltimore, right?"
"Yeah, eventually. I'm gonna wait a little while longer, until Arizona is better. I'd really be an ass not to, after what I put her through. But hold on, does Shepherd know you're not going to Boston? Have you talked with him about that yet?"
Meredith shook her head. "We're… probably going to have that discussion tonight."
"Thanks for the warning. I'll be sure to put in my earplugs," Alex joked.
Hopefully, it would not come to that. Meredith did not want to spend Derek's first night at home fighting. If everything went the way that Meredith hoped, she would explain that she felt the need to stay in Seattle, close to Lexie and Mark and Derek would agree. It was not like his hand was healthy enough to operate right now anyway. The only reason that Derek had truly been planning on moving to Boston was Meredith's fellowship. And if she did not want to accept that, it was her decision.
Several hours later, after Zola had been tucked into bed for the night and Meredith was lying in bed next to her husband, watching television, it was time to make the move and unfortunately, it was not a sexual move. Neither Meredith nor Derek were physically healthy enough for intimacy yet, despite the way that they had been fooling around in the ICU yesterday. And Meredith could not procrastinate the inevitable forever.
She reached forward, grabbed the remote, and switched off the bedroom television that Derek had installed when Meredith was recovering from liver surgery.
"You okay?" Derek prompted. "Are you ready to go to sleep?"
"No," Meredith sighed. "But um… listen… we need to talk."
"Okay…"
"I need to tell you something and you need to… not freak-out. You need to listen to me and understand why I'm saying what I'm saying."
"This isn't exactly the way to get me to… not freak-out," Derek said.
So Meredith just said it: "I don't want to move to Boston anymore."
Derek did not look angry at all; actually, more than anything, he appeared sad. "Mer… is this about flying? You don't want to get on a plane?"
"No. I mean, I don't want to get on a plane but that's not why. If we really needed to, we could drive three thousand miles from here to Boston. I don't want to move. I don't want to leave Lexie."
"Well, it's not like we would leave tomorrow, Meredith. We would wait until Lexie was better, out of the hospital. I still have more surgeries to go on my hand and… and you've already given Brigham your word."
Meredith sighed again; it was the same thing that everyone had been saying to her. "But things change, Derek. We were in a plane crash. We almost died. I think Brigham would understand if I needed to reevaluate things and I'm not just saying I don't want to leave Lexie while she's in the hospital. I'm saying I don't want to leave her, period. I don't want to leave Lexie… or, or Mark… or any of our other friends and family here."
"We already talked about all this," Derek said. "We talked about it on the plane before it crashed. I might not remember a whole lot but I remember that. You asked me to try and get Lexie a fellowship spot at Harvard next year…"
"Oh, I highly doubt that Lexie is going to be ready for a fellowship by this time next year," Meredith interrupted. "She's probably going to have to take an entire year off of residency."
"But Cristina is leaving. Alex is leaving. Boston is a lot closer than Seattle to Baltimore and Rochester…"
"I know!" Meredith cried; her voice her risen to a shout for the first time. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. "Okay? I get it. It's not like I haven't thought about this."
There was a long pause; Derek shook his head. "I don't think that's all there is to it. Lexie's going to be okay, Meredith. Even Hunt has said that; she's going to be fine. You were fine with moving before the plane crashed. We'll go and get set up and whenever Lexie's ready to join us, she can."
"Yeah, now you're just lying to yourself. Face it; you want to go and be the Great God of Neurosurgery at Harvard," Meredith spat before she could help it. She knew that was not true; she was not sure why she said it…
Derek was clearly hurt by the remark. "The Great God of Neurosurgery, really? No, this is about you. You were offered a spot at Brigham, the best general surgery program in the country. You don't turn that down."
"We all know it's you they really want," Meredith said.
"We don't know that! I'm not the same man they hired…"
"Don't say that…"
"Meredith, there is a chance… there is a good chance that I might never operate again. And that's okay because I have you and I have Zola and I can teach. But trust me, you don't want this. You don't want to stay at one hospital for your entire career, for one thing and you don't want to have anything less than the very best training possible. Brigham will give you that," Derek explained.
"I don't know; I think the general surgery program at Seattle Grace is pretty badass, too. We have Richard and Bailey and…"
"Dammit, Meredith… I want this for you!" Derek interjected. "I want you to have the opportunity to learn from Margaret Goodwin; she's a Harper Avery recipient! She's the very best there is. We're going."
"We're staying!" Meredith yelled.
"We're going!"
"We're staying!"
"Why the hell is…" Derek suddenly trailed off. He winced and clutched at his stomach.
Meredith paused, too, her frustration evaporating. "What happened? What hurts?!"
Derek did not answer, so Meredith lifted his thermal pajama top. His incisions were holding, but the screaming and movement from the day was obviously putting strain on his still-healing organs.
"Okay, um… that's enough for tonight," Meredith said. She pulled Derek's shirt back down over his stomach and covered him with some blankets. "Just um… just try to get some rest, okay?"
"We're not finished talking about this," Derek said.
"I know. I know, we'll talk more about it tomorrow," Meredith said. "Do you need anything? Do you want some of your pain medication?"
Derek would soon be starting therapy, too, but in the meantime, Schacter had prescribed him Hydrocodone to help the pain associated with his broken hand, fractured ribs, and abdominal surgery.
"Y-Yeah, okay," Derek moaned so Meredith jumped off the bed, ignoring her own physical pain, and retrieved one of the capsules which she brought to her husband, along with a cup of water.
"Thanks," Derek whispered once he had swallowed the pill. "You're… you're not gonna let me get hooked on those, are you?"
"Don't worry; I won't let you end up like Amy," Meredith teased. "Besides, if you survived open heart surgery without getting addicted to painkillers, I think you'll be alright."
Derek smiled tightly; the tension was melting away. "Are you going to sleep now, too?"
"Um… in just a minute. I have to go do one more thing really quick."
Meredith walked back into the bathroom, took out her own supply of medication and swallowed one of everything… Hydrocodone, Clonazepam, Trazodone, and Amoxicillin. She was almost finished with her antibiotics; there were only a few doses left.
Then Meredith laid down in bed next to Derek, letting the warmth of his body wash over her own. He was home. He was alive… he was really home.
That was enough for tonight. Meredith closed her eyes, praying more than ever that the drugs did their job and kept away any nightmares about wolves.
Yay! Derek is officially home! Hopefully that combined with Meredith's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches helped balance out the painful MerDer argument. Please don't forget to favorite/follow and review; that all means so much to me!
Stay tuned for Chapter 22; it should be coming soon, or at least sooner than it took to get this out and it will include a major update on Lexie and Cristina! Love you all and thanks so much for reading and supporting my story! It means so much to me. Xoxo, merderpedia :)