Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all connected to it. I only own this story line and any characters not included in her original saga!
A/N: Thanks for reviewing! Means a lot! Back to EPOV now. I tried minimising the overlapping of chapters (between events of last chapter and this one) as much as possible, but there is still a bit of repeat that couldn't be helped. Tell me if there's too much? This is a longerror one than recent chapters, but I couldn't cut it down any more than this. Sorry.
I'll Always Find Peace In The Meadow
Chapter Eighteen: 'Books are better than people' (Edward POV)
Monday 15 May 2017
This whole day has been the worst. It's been one thing after another. It started badly this morning, with both of my parents hounding me about lunchtimes. It seems Alice told them about me disappearing every Tuesday and Thursday. They aren't very happy with me. According to them, I should be making more of an effort to make friends. I should be choosing wisely, like Alice has. I should be following Alice's lead and example, because she always makes the right decisions. Blah, blah, blah.
They haven't been too pleased with me lately. Ever since Rosalie's birthday party last Tuesday, where I made my escape. Alice told them about that too, and since then they've been extra annoying. Extra controlling. They want to know every little thing I'm doing. They pick at the things I'm wearing. They complain if I'm in my room too much or on my phone too often. It's a nightmare.
Leaving that party the way I did was absolutely necessary. All night, from the moment I arrived, I was taking orders from my sister. Go make Lauren a drink, Edward. Go fetch me a towel, I've spilt some of my drink. Let Jess sit on your knee, Edward, she has no where else to sit. She had plenty of places to sit. Alice was just being a nuisance, thinking I was there to wait on her hand and foot.
When she asked me to go get Lauren a drink for around the seventh time, I'd had enough. I was bored out of my mind and tired of being told what to do. It was a party - I should've been able to relax and enjoy myself. But I couldn't. It was ridiculous.
Leaving was the best decision I ever made. I had to walk home and when I saw that playground, I had this weird urge to go in. I was planning on sitting atop the small jungle gym, and it turned out I wasn't the only one with this plan.
She looked so relaxed up there. So different to how I'm used to seeing her. So different to how she had been earlier that day. Leaving that party gave me the perfect opportunity to right my wrong with Bella. To apologise.
A lot was solved sat on top of that jungle gym. A lot that should have been said way before that night. We finally put a name to our relationship: friends. And I felt like an ass for asking her to keep it a secret, but the truth is, it is what I felt was right at the time.
But I don't think that now. In fact, I'm pissed off with how our friendship is. I'm pissed off with myself for thinking it was a good idea. I want to be able to speak to her out in the open, to let people know that she has a friend, that she's not unapproachable or lonely. I don't even care about the attention it will bring me anymore.
I'll admit, last Monday, when we exited the music room and people stared at us for walking together, I was immensely uncomfortable. I've always blended well into crowds, in my old school and then here too. I was okay with the few stares during my first week here, seeing as I was the new kid and all, but that passed pretty quickly. To have so many people staring at me, judging me, put me well out of my comfort zone.
And as I looked at Bella, with her head down and eyes watching the floor as we walked, I finally understood why she acts that way whenever I see her in the halls. It finally dawned on me: she hides her face to try and hide herself. She tries to be as invisible as possible.
I was a major ass for not turning up at the library the following day. It was a terrible mistake on my behalf. A stupid decision that I regret wholeheartedly. Bella didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve me giving up on her - 'Cause that's ultimately what I did. I gave up on her.
I still don't know the full story as to why she is isolated from everyone. I know she was once friends with Rosalie and the group. I know that something happened to end that friendship. I don't know what though. I will find out, one day.
I also now know that Bella's father has passed. She's obviously still very affected, even though it's been several years. I can't imagine how she must be feeling. Though I bitch and complain about my parents often, I can't imagine losing either one of them, and at such a young age, too. When she broke down on top of that jungle gym, I was at a loss. In all the time I've known Bella she's appeared strong. Even through all the shit thrown her way; through the bullying and those God awful posters that almost destroyed what little progress I had made with her, through the stares and laughing and name calling, she's always stayed strong.
There's been cracks in her mask, when things have gotten too hard for her. But I've never seen her cry the way she did Tuesday night. I've never heard a person's sobs sound so painful. It tugged at my heart, to see and hear her like that.
I did the only thing that I could, I comforted her. I wrapped my arm around her, pulled her to me, and let her cry it all out. I was curious about what had happened to her father for him to die while she was so young, but I fought my own curiosity, not wanting to cause her any further grief.
My parents would never understand my want and need to spend time with Bella. They'll just see her as a bad influence, as someone beneath them and beneath me. In truth, the unwanted attention I faced last week isn't the sole reason for me asking Bella to keep our friendship a secret. My parents are more the cause than anything. I don't want to face their harassment over me hanging out with Bella. They'll make it such a miserable time that eventually, I'll probably distance myself from her, just to free myself of their nagging.
After I finally got away from my parents this morning, dodging all questions of where I go at the lunchtimes I don't spend with Alice and 'our' friends, it was time to head to school. The whole drive to school was filled with an interrogation from Alice. I haven't actually given her a reason for me disappearing two lunches a week. I haven't given anyone an explanation. I just don't turn up, and when they ask I shrug and start up a different conversation. It's been easier than I imagined it would be. I was half expecting Alice to follow me one of the days, but she only ever asks me.
The first few lessons of the day were boring, more so than usual. My bad mood continued to worsen as each lesson dragged by. Even Calculus, which I've now been moved to the advanced class of, was boring. That's a first for me, who loves all maths.
My day brightened some when Bella walked into Biology. I had rushed to class, wanting some time in silence before people started arriving. I did not expect Bella to be the first person, besides me, to enter the classroom. Her warning about Devil 1, as we've aptly named Lauren, wasn't forceful enough, as I soon found out. When Bella said Lauren had a problem, I assumed she was just jesting. Lauren always has a problem with Bella. She's always complaining about her, something I have to keep my mouth shut about. There are countless times where I've wanted to shut her up and tell her what I think, but I've held my tongue, wanting to keep up appearances of not caring.
I wish Bella had told me how serious Lauren's problem with her today was, maybe then I'd have been more prepared for her sudden appearance in the room. And the way she made a beeline for me. When she kissed my cheek I was shocked. Lauren has been very forward towards me, but she's never done that. I was shocked... and nauseous. But I had to hide that disgust.
Throughout the whole lesson Lauren was whispering to me. At first it was innocent questions, her asking for help with the class work. Then she begun asking if I had any crushes, if I fancied anyone. I struck down every question, and even ignored some. And then her whispering turned evil, the tone of her voice becoming lethal. And the reason for that was clear in her questions; do you like the Freak? Is she why you won't ask me out? I was so shocked I almost fell out of my chair. Why would she ask me that? Me and Bella have been very good at hiding our friendship, and that's all it is, a friendship.
I realised that I had to squash any suspicions Lauren had, and quickly, because her finding out about that would only make Bella's school life worse, and I don't want that. Even though it pained me to say it, I told Lauren that I don't like Bella. Who could like her? She's a freak?, I had said. It felt like ash on my tongue, the words vile in my mouth. I felt awful for saying them, but they made Lauren happy and she backed off.
Throughout the following lesson, English, I was distracted, as well as bored. Lauren's question was filling my focus. Do I like Bella? Of course I like her, as a friend, but is it more than that? Sure, Bella is pretty, beautiful in fact, even when she's scowling at me - which is quite often. Her eyes are my favourite feature of hers. When we first ran into each other in the hall that fateful day, her eyes were such a mystery to me, closed off in a way I'd never seen before. But as time has passed and we've gotten to know each other better, as she's grown more comfortable with me, her eyes have revealed more to me. More of her emotions and thoughts. It's amazing how they've gone from completely shut off to, bit by bit, opening up more to me.
She's funny when she wants to be, sometimes without even trying. Sometimes she'll say or do something in a completely serious manner, but it'll make me laugh and then she'll frown at me and I'll most likely laugh harder. She's smart. Very smart... except when it comes to math. I figured that out while she was doing some homework in the library two weeks ago at lunch and had answered most of them wrong. But most of all, she's strong - one of the strongest people I know.
But do I like her as more than a friend?
No, I don't think so. I pondered the question for the whole of English, and I came to the conclusion that I don't like Bella as more than a friend. She's great as a friend, and that's all she is. Nothing more. Nothing less. Being more could ruin what we already have.
I've just finished English and as I walk into the cafeteria, my eyes are drawn to the lunch line. I always secretly search for Bella, and this is where she normally is. Today it's the same; she's at the very back of the line, chin tilted to her chest as she transfers her weight from foot to foot repeatedly. I usually keep my distance from her in here, but something about her posture and her whole stance is wrong. I stop on my path towards my usual seat at the center table and begin walking slowly towards Bella.
I notice what the problem is as I draw closer. Her hands. They are fisted tightly at her sides, and her shoulders are tense. She's on edge about something. I start walking quicker and slide in line behind her before anyone else can. I glance around the room, and once I'm satisfied that no one is watching us, I tap her shoulder. She spins on the spot, her now familiar scowl planted firmly on her face. I almost roll my eyes when I see it; I'm so used to this facial expression of hers now. Her scowl softens when she sees it's me stood behind her, but it doesn't disappear completely.
I lower my hand and offer her a small smile. "Calm down," I whisper as I look around the room once more, anxious. I look back to Bella as she nods and slowly turns back around. Her hands are relaxed now, though her stance is still full of tension.
I see the edge of her face as she lightly turns her face to the right. "What do you want?" she whispers, and the volume of her voice mixed with the noise level in the room means that I almost miss her words. Her hands suddenly clench and I have this sudden urge to comfort her. I can't put my arm around her like I did in the playground a week ago, but I can offer a small amount of support. I step a tiny bit closer to her, catching a whiff of her strawberry scented shampoo - a smell I've come to love over the course of our friendship - as I do so. I cautiously reach forward with my right hand and brush my fingers across the back of her fisted hand. She relaxes it immediately.
"You're angry. I can tell. I'm surprised no steam is coming out of your ears. Will you calm down?" I whisper, my words heated and insistent. She nods and releases a long breath, her shoulders sagging slightly. Once I'm certain she's calmer, I take a large step back, removing myself from her vicinity.
Now that my worry about Bella's temper is over, other concerns take over, like people watching us. I look around the room and sure enough, one of my worst fears has come to life. Lauren, Jessica and Jasper are looking this way, and I don't know how much of our exchange they witnessed. Without another word to Bella, I exit the line and speed walk to the center table, planting myself in my usual seat between Lauren and Tyler.
I'm sat opposite Jasper today. He's staring at me, his look stern. I want to look away, but that would make me seem guilty, so I keep my eyes locked on his. He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. The change in the way he's sitting, from balancing on the hind legs of his chair to now sitting fully forward, draws the attention of everyone at our table. They all grow silent, their eyes jumping between me and Jasper.
"What was that about, Edward?" he asks, his voice full of accusation. I shrug.
"What was what about?" I ask, feigning ignorance.
"Your conversation with her? What was it about?" he asks, nodding his head disapprovingly toward Bella, who's currently passing our table. My lips instinctively begin to form a smile as my eyes fall upon her, but my mind is quick to catch up with my natural instincts and I am hasty to look away and drop my smile.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I answer, proud with myself for keeping my voice neutral and strong. Jasper's eyes narrow almost imperceptibly. "And even if I did," I continue, sitting back in my chair with my arms crossed over my chest, "I don't see how it's any of your business."
"Edward!" Alice hisses at me. I glance at her with a bored expression on my face, before looking back to Jasper.
"Were you talking to her, Edward?" Lauren asks, her voice intentionally small, like she's trying to sound innocent. She places her hand on my arm gently. I turn my face towards her and am met with the fluttering of her eyelashes.
"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. I don't see how it matters to any of you," I say, turning to glance around at them all. Each of them are frowning. Lauren's hand falls from my arm. Seriously? What is so wrong with me speaking to Bella? This is starting to get on my last nerve. I feel the words 'I'm her friend, deal with it!' on the tip of my tongue.
"You see, Edward," Rosalie begins, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table, just like her brother, "it does matter to us. It matters because you are one of us... and she is not."
My mouth falls open as I stare at her. "One of us?" I copy incredulously. What does that mean?
"She's not one of us. She's the farthest thing from one of us someone could get," Rosalie answers, a light laugh following her words.
"And how did you figure that out?" I ask, leaning forward to sit in the same position as her and Jasper, my confidence increasing with every passing second. Or is that anger?
"Let me put it this way, Edward... We are all from complete families, where one or even both of our parents are in a high positioned job. We belong together. We are meant to be seen together, to seem united. And unfortunately, or fortunately, whichever way you want to look at it, Bella does not belong," she says with a shrug. Alice and Jessica giggle, while Jasper smirks evilly. I don't miss the way Emmett's head drops ever so slightly, but he stays silent.
All from complete families...
I feel a sudden spike of anger hit me. I lean forward and lower my voice to a harsh whisper, not wanting anyone else to overhear the conversation taking place at our table. "You're discriminating against her because her father is dead?" I hiss the last word, my disgust crystal clear in my voice.
"How do you know about that? None of us have told you," Lauren asks, glancing round at all of her friends to clarify. They all shake their heads.
I shrug, attempting to appear nonchalant. "Word travels quickly in a small town." I can't let them know Bella was the one to tell me.
Rosalie raises an eyebrow. I see Emmett fidget uncomfortably beside her. "No," she says, replying to my question. "That was unfortunate circumstances. Officer Swan single-handedly stopped a serial thief that was breaking into multiple homes a night to steal valuables. It was a scary time for everyone one in Forks, and he was the one to catch the guy. After that, Officer Swan became a big deal. It made the news and everything. Everybody loved Officer Swan. He was a cherished member of the community. His daughter, on the other hand, is not."
My mind registers the new information, Officer Swan. I store that away for another time.
"But you were all friends with her once upon a time. You've said so yourself," I point out. Rosalie rolls her eyes.
"We were. Her father was a highly appreciated police officer at Forks Police Department. It was right that she was seen with us. It was expected. And back then, Bella was a different person. She was fun to be around, she fit in with us. Now that her father has passed she just doesn't fit. It's as simple as that."
I can't believe what I am hearing. It almost seems impossible. I don't care what she says, they are discriminating against Bella because of the death of her father. It's as simple as that. I feel physically sick to be sitting with these people. I look down at the table and decide to keep quiet. I'll get no where arguing with Rosalie. It's obvious she sees no wrong in any of this.
"The bitch still thinks she's one of us, though," Lauren pipes up. Everyone of us turns to look at her, but her focus is firmly on Bella, who's sat across the room.
"Why do you say that?" Alice asks.
"She thinks she can worm her way inbetween us, get back in our good books," Lauren explains, anger lacing her words. I feel indescribable fear for Bella in my stomach. This isn't going to go well, I just know it.
"Why? What has she done?" Tyler asks.
"What has she not done?" Lauren asks with venom. "She's constantly looking at us, the Creep. Watching us. And she tries to talk to Edward. That's unfair. He's only just joined us, so he's still learning what's right and what's wrong. It's not his fault." She turns and pats my arm with a sympathetic smile on her face.
She actually believes her words. I frown and look at the others sat around the table. Rosalie and Jessica look thoughtful, like Lauren's words make sense. This is unbelievable. "I say we teach her a lesson," Jessica says. They all perk up at this, turning to look at Bella. I can't be the only one that hears Emmett's sigh.
I also stare over at her. She looks so innocent. Harmless. Reading her book and minding her own business.
It's as if she feels our gazes on her. She looks up warily. Her eyes widen in fear, yet when she looks at me, there's question in them. That fear I feel for her grows, spreading, coursing with my blood through my veins. I look away quickly, staring down at my lap as my shoulders slump. Coward! I feel sick.
"Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?" Rosalie asks.
"I've got an idea," Lauren states. Her and Rosalie stand at the same time, and then they urge the rest of us to stand. I do so, reluctantly. I feel like warning Bella, but would that make things worse?
"Come on, Edward. Smile. It's just a bit of fun," Jasper says joyfully. Fun? Yeah, for you maybe. I follow the group with sluggish steps, my already bad mood darkening further.
The following events are disastrous, much worse than I imagined. The whole time my mind is shouting at me to step in and defend Bella, but for some reason the rest of me doesn't cooperate. My anger rapidly builds the longer Lauren refuses to return the book to Bella. When she glances at me I can tell she's trying to stay calm. Her composure amazes me, and when she offers me a small smile, my amazement heightens. I can't believe the strength of this girl.
Her composed state begins to break, however, when they threaten to go into her bag. I stand motionless, helpless as Bella shouts at them, as Tyler holds her down. The fear and anguish on her face has my heart breaking into two. This isn't fun. This is evil.
I think all is over, once they push her bag to the floor and allow her to pick it up. I'm too preoccupied with closing my eyes and sighing in relief, that I don't notice Rosalie holding the bottle of water. I open my eyes just in time to see her tip it over Bella's head. I step forward immediately, prepared to intervene, but it's too late. The damage is already done. The water falls and falls, all over Bella. She's in complete shock. I'm in complete shock. The noise levels of the room increase as everyone laughs at her.
I want to do something, to say something. I want to help her. But my body is frozen with shock. It's only as Bella suddenly starts moving, pushing past the girls, that I break out of my stunned trance. She's soaked, her clothes and hair dripping with water. Bella's never been steady on her feet at the best of times, and the water only makes that worse. When she slips, narrowly managing to support herself with a nearby chair, I instinctively react, stepping forward to offer my aid. It's useless though.
"Bella!" I shout, wanting to ask her to wait, to slow down before she hurts herself. She turns to face me for a split second, and in that short moment I see a hint of redness on the side of her face. Did one of them hit her when I wasn't looking?! I freeze, not advancing closer to her as she races from the room.
After several moments of silence from me, listening to the thunderous laughter filling the room, I snap out of my shock once more, shaking my head to try and focus. I start forward again, ready to search for Bella.
"Edward!" my sister's shout stops me. I turn to her slowly, my eyes squinted into slits. I'm pissed off. Very pissed off. The people in the room begin to hush slowly, following the example of Rosalie and the group. "Where are you going?" she asks me, side glancing at Rosalie with wide eyes.
"Where do you think? Someone has to make sure she's okay," I answer, pointing to the double doors Bella ran through not too long ago. Some gasps are audible around the room.
"That's not your job," Lauren says. I shrug.
"Maybe not, but I want to," I say. Lauren gasps now, raising her hand to her throat.
"Edward, brother, don't be ridiculous," Alice says, her voice unusually tender when speaking to me.
"I'm not being ridiculous, Alice. I'm just looking out for a friend," I reply, not even thinking about the words as I say them. No regret follows my admission. All I feel is like a tonne of weight has suddenly been lifted from my shoulders.
"She's not your friend," Lauren and Rosalie say simultaneously, their tones warning me. I walk around the table towards them, stepping around the puddle of water on the floor. I walk past Rosalie and my sister without a glance their way. I stop in front of Lauren and take her hand in mine. She smiles at me, batting her eyelashes and biting her lip. I pick her hand up until it hovers between us, and then I take the bent book from her grasp, dropping her hand afterwards. Her smile turns into a frown.
"Yes she is," I say quietly. She sucks in a quick breath of air. I then turn and run for the doors, ignoring the shouts of my so-called friends. My mind only wants one thing now, to know where the hell Bella is.
First I check the library, but no one is in there. Next I check the music room, walking past Bella's locker - which she is not at - on the way. The music room is vacant too. Shit! Where could she be? I rattle my brain for an idea as I walk slowly back to her locker.
Then another possibility hits me. I think back to when I was younger, when me and my family were on vacation in Hawaii and a waiter tripped and drenched my sister in drinks from his tray. She ran straight for the nearest restroom without a second thought. It's worth a shot.
I realise as I near the toilets that I can't enter the girls' one. I quickly change course and head for the nurses office. I tell the first one I see that a girl named Bella is in the toilets and she needs attending to. The nurse shouts at my retreating form, asking me for more of an explanation, but I'm already focused on checking the bike racks at the front of the school. Maybe she just left; she has done so a couple of times in the last few weeks.
Once I'm sure she's still in school, and I can't think of anywhere else to check, I decide to head to my next lesson. My cell phone buzzes in my pocket about ten minutes into the lesson. I wait a couple seconds for my teacher to be facing the board as he writes something down, and then I pull it out of my pocket, keeping it under the table as I check it. It's a text message from Bella.
Thank you. - B
I silently sigh in relief, more weight lifting from me. She's okay, and I must have been correct. She was in the toilets. I quickly text her back.
Are you okay? - E
Yes. I'm going home. - B
Oh thank goodness. She doesn't have to endure the rest of the day in wet clothes.
That's good. Are you sure you're okay? - E
Yep. I'm alright. I'll talk to you later. - B
I frown down at my phone, before quickly pocketing it as the teacher's voice draws closer. Luckily he didn't notice me texting. Her last message was very clipped, almost too clipped.
She's not okay. I just know it.
~I*A*F*P*I*T*M~
After school I don't take a ride home with Alice. I walk right past her, Lauren and Jessica, who are all stood around Alice's vehicle, and walk to the gates. It'll be a long walk home, but I don't care. I'd much rather walk than sit in a car with my bully of a sister. And besides, there's something I have to do before I go home.
I struggle to find it at first, having only been there once. I get lost around fifteen minutes into my walk and start wandering around like a lost pet. Just when I'm considering just giving up, having lost all hope, I stumble across a familiar playground. A few small children are running around within the rusty gates this afternoon, shouting and laughing, free of all worries as they have fun playing.
Now I'm here, I know the way. I smile as I walk past the children, enjoying the sound of their happiness. Their laughs slowly start to fade as I put more and more distance between myself and the playground. It's not hard to remember the way now. It was just getting onto this familiar path that was the problem.
In no time at all I reach the house, it's white exterior, green steps and brown door looking no different now in the daylight, then they did a week ago in the dark.
I see Bella's bicycle chained up to the mailbox post at the edge of the front yard. There is no car in the drive. After taking a deep breath of courage, I walk across the lawn and ascend the porch steps. I hesitate for only a second before knocking.
Two minutes pass and there is no answer. I knock again, feeling slightly embarrassed. I'm just about to turn around and head home, when her small voice comes through the door.
"Who is it?" Bella asks, sounding timid.
"Bella? It's me... Edward," I answer, pausing before saying my name, not knowing if she recognises my voice.
"What are you doing here?" she asks after a long silence.
"I wanted to make sure you're really okay."
"I'm fine, Edward. I already told you," she sighs. I roll my eyes.
"I know, I just..." I stop, not sure if I should continue.
"You just what?" she asks through the door.
"I... I'm sorry," I say finally, dropping my head to my chest. I suddenly feel guilty. I don't know what for exactly. For not defending her earlier? For not stepping up sooner and letting people know we're friends?
My head snaps up when I hear the door being unlocked from the inside. It slowly opens, revealing a now dry Bella. Her hair is dry, in a braid pulled over her left shoulder. She's no longer dressed in the soggy clothes of before. Now she's wearing a black hoodie and black sweatpants, with nothing on her feet. I've never seen her bare footed before.
She stands in the doorway, her hand gripping the handle tightly as she glances at anywhere but my face nervously.
"Why are you saying sorry? You did nothing wrong," she says, her voice quiet. I don't take my eyes from her face.
"I'm sorry because... well, because... I..." I don't know how to answer. My stuttering makes Bella finally look at my face. My eyes automatically jump to the side of her face, where the redness was earlier, but there's nothing there now. Her face looks normal. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me.
"You don't know why you're feeling sorry, do you?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.
I look down at my shoes guiltily before glancing back up at her with a small smile on my lips. "Um, no. I don't," I say, chuckling. A small smile, matching mine, breaks onto her face. She rolls her eyes, the smile not leaving her face.
"You know how much I hate that," she sighs dramatically.
"Yeah. Sorry.'" I mumble before freezing. I can't believe I just apologised again. I face plant with my palm as she cocks her head to one side, smirking at me. We both chuckle quietly.
"There's nothing for you to feel sorry for, Edward. What happened today wasn't your fault," she tells me, her serious mood returning. I nod, not truly believing her words. I step back and then move down a couple steps, before sitting down on the porch. After a couple second pause, Bella steps out passed the threshold of her front door and comes to sit beside me.
I can feel her eyes on the side of my face, but I keep my gaze forward facing. "I mean it, Edward. It wasn't your fault."
I sigh, finally turning my head to meet her eyes. "I know, I just... I felt like I should've done more. I should've stopped them from coming over to you or something."
Bella laughs humorlessly and I feel my brows pull together in confusion. She looks at me like I'm a dumb shit. "Oh come on, Edward," she says. "You can't stop them once they've set their mind to something. They would have come over to me in any circumstance. Don't beat yourself up about it." She smiles at me. I smile back but offer no reply.
We sit in silence for several minutes before I speak up again. "I didn't know what they had planned. I swear."
"I know," she admits with a small nod. "I don't even think they had it planned until they did it." She starts picking at a loose thread on her sleeve. "The book thing was just childish... it was what happened after that got under my skin," she tells me in a hushed voice. She scoffs, rolling her eyes heavenward. "Or should I say on my skin."
I chuckle humorlessly. Then I remember. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. I have something for you," I say happily. I pull my bag off of my back and rest it on the step below me, between my legs. I quickly open it up and pull out her book that I'd kept at the top. "Here," I say, handing it over to her. Her eyes light up immediately.
"You got it back! Oh, thank you!" she exclaims, snatching the book from my hand before throwing her arms around my neck. I pat her back at first, slightly stunned, before I push away the shock and wrap my arms around her, returning her hug. I close my eyes as I tighten my arms around her slightly. I don't miss how Bella tenses up in my arms as I do so. Shit! Too far? She pulls away slowly, her arms unwinding from around my neck and her hands falling to her lap, the book in hand.
"Good choice," I say in an attempt to break the sudden tension that has formed between us, pointing to the book. Her eyes widen as she looks from me to the book and back, repeating the motion several times.
"You've read 'Little Women'?" she asks incredulously.
"Yes," I nod. "My parents own many books and I've spent a lot of my childhood working my way through them. Books are better than people, I find to be the case... most of the time," I say, adding the final comment quickly.
She blinks up at me, seemingly astonished. "Uh-huh," she replies, her voice full of awe. She suddenly blinks rapidly, shaking her head like she's trying to clear her mind. "Um, I mean, yes. I completely agree. Books have helped me through a lot of hard times," she says, smiling down at the book in her hands with a small, wistful smile.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I mumble an apology to Bella as I pull it out. Shit!
Where are you? - Mom
"Um, I should be going..." I say as I reluctantly start to stand. I grab Bella's hand and help her stand beside me. She offers me a small smile in thanks once she's upright, dropping my hand with an awkward smile. Bella stands on the top step with me stood one below her.
"Before you go," she begins, her tone turning curious, "what happened after I left?" I chuckle nervously, lifting my hand to run it through my hair. Bella narrows her eyes at me and I drop my hand immediately. It seems she's picked up on my nervous habit over the last few weeks.
"I, um, kinda maybe let the cat out of the bag," I say.
"Kinda maybe?" Bella asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.
"Yeah," I say before clearing my throat. "I may have let them know that we are friends. Please don't be mad!"
Bella stares at me, her face unchanging for several seconds, before a blinding smile slowly appears on her face. "Really?" she asks, hope filling her voice, making me feel like even more of an ass for asking her to keep it a secret.
"Yes," I answer, grinning now, too.
"So we don't have to hide anymore?" she asks, hopeful still.
"Not if you don't want to. I mean, I'll still have to spend *some* time with my sister and her friends, to keep my parents happy. But we don't have to hide our friendship anymore," I tell her. Her smile falters momentarily when I mention the part about my sister, but it soon returns in full by my last word.
"That's fine. I can live with that! Oh, this is fantastic!" she exclaims, bursting out in a girly squeal, which is completely out of character for Bella. She doesn't seem to care though. "We can hang out away from school now, too," she says. My good mood diminishes a bit.
Her face falls as she watches my face fall. "What?" she asks cautiously.
"It's my parents," I sigh. "I don't know how they'll feel about me hanging around with you. I don't care what they think, and it won't stop me... I just don't want them to make you feel uncomfortable when, or if, you come round," I admit sadly.
"Oh," is all Bella says. She's silent for several seconds, thinking. "Well, maybe we could tell them you're tutoring me?" she suggests.
"Tutoring you?" I ask.
"Yeah. I'd like to be able to come round at some point, so maybe we could use it as an excuse. And we both know I could use the help with math. It's the perfect story. We could even make it official with the school. It may help you earn some extra credit, which your parents can't complain about and it would be a big help to me. I'm really struggling."
Huh. That's not a bad idea. I nod my assent, my broad smile returning. "Okay. Sounds like a plan."
A/N: I love the following Edward chapters. Actually, I have loved every minute of writing this story as a whole! And I am still loving it - that's right, I'm not done with it yet!
What did you think of this chapter? Of Edward's conversation with Rosalie's click? Of his talk with Bella at the end? Do you think the tutoring idea will pay off? Let me know your thoughts, opinions and predictions in a review! The next chapter leads straight on from this one!
As always, thanks for returning to read and I'll be back Monday with Chapter 19!