A/N: This is one of my shortest chapters so far, I think! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all connected to it. I only own this story line and any characters not included in her original saga!
I'll Always Find Peace In The Meadow
Previously...
"You'll get it eventually, Bella. Soon you'll find it to be as easy as two plus two." Both her eyes open this time so she can glare at me fully.
"Yes. Maybe for you, Mr Einstein."
"Actually, I think you'll find Albert Einstein was a physicist more than he was a mathematician," I correct her with a smirk.
Something narrowly misses my face as she throws it at me. "Smart ass," she mutters, though I can hear the hint of amusement in her voice. The pull at the corner of her mouth doesn't go unnoticed by me either.
"Did you just throw a protractor at me?" I ask, shocked when I look down at the pillow beside me and see it led there. The smile she was trying so hard to mask breaks through and soon we both burst into laughter. I fall to my side, struggling to catch a breath inbetween my guffaws.
That's how my mother finds us when she walks into my room, sans knock, as usual.
Chapter Twenty-three: 'I became that girl' (Edward POV)
Saturday 27 May 2017
My mother's smile is tight, the creases at the corners of her eyes showing her contempt. We both sober up quickly upon seeing her. "I thought you two were meant to be studying, not having fun," she says, a pleasant smile fixed on her face. Even when my mother would rather not, she is well-practised in keeping up a civil facade. Having said that however, her words, which I know are intended to be lighthearted, come out sounding tense and forced.
Bella grimaces as she pushes herself into a sitting position, and I'm not sure if it's because of her achy ribs or my mother's obvious dislike of her presence in our home. Her gaze drops to the bedspread.
"What can we do you for, Mom?" I ask, trying to steer her calculating stare away from my uncomfortable friend.
"Oh, nothing. Just thought I'd come and see what all the noise was about." Noise? There's no way she heard us laughing from all the way upstairs, unless...
"Have you been down here long?" I ask, already knowing what the answer will be.
"Yes, well, Alice and I are watching a movie in the media room," she replies.
"Cool. What movie?" I query. Her eyes widen. I know she's lying; I'm simply testing her. There is no way, even though the media room is on the same floor as my bedroom, that she heard our laughter. The speakers in that room are movie theater quality, my room is the farthest one from the media room... and the media room is sound-proofed. She must have been eavesdropping on us, and knowing my mother, she's been doing so for a while.
"Um, we're watching 'The Notebook'!" she rushes to say, obviously thinking on the spot. Bella's head shoots up, drawing my mother's attention back to her. Mom raises an eyebrow, and Bella blushes, her gaze flitting between my mother and me.
"I-I love that movie," she says as way of an explanation for her reaction, before she drops her gaze back to the bedspread. My mother's responding smile is once again tight.
"It is a good one," she replies after an awkward silence. "Well, I'll leave you guys to it," she says, not waiting for any kind of response before she turns on her heel and marches out of my room. I do nothing to hold back my sigh once she's out of my room; she left my door open.
While Bella stays focused on the quilts beside her knee, I get off the bed and walk to my door, shutting it gently. I turn back to Bella and lean against the door, arms crossed over my chest. I wait and wait for Bella to take initiative, to meet my anxious gaze. After several tense minutes, she finally raises her head and glances my way.
She offers me a small smile. "I don't think your mother likes me very much," is all she says. I scoff. Both of us know that's an understatement. When I see Bella drop her head once more, I sigh and push away from the door, walking toward her. I turn my desk chair and take a seat, facing her. I wait for her to raise her gaze to mine again, but when it doesn't seem likely that she'll do so anytime soon, I reach out and place my hand on her bent knee. That gets her to lift her head.
Her wide brown eyes meet mine and I have to try with all my might to hold back my gasp. Her eyes are the most vulnerable I have ever seen them. The mask she has in place around others has completely disappeared in this moment, the most I have ever seen it.
"It's not your fault, you know? My mother... she... I mean, we, well not me, but my family have certain beliefs. They are... struggling to come to terms with the idea of me being friends with you." Bella's lips purse as if she is going to say something, but I don't allow her to. My rambling continues, even when my brain is telling me to shut the hell up! "You know... because of social status and all that crap. To them, how much money someone has and how they earn that money is very important. It's completely ridiculous, I know, but it's just the way they are. My mother is the worst of them all. Her beliefs have been ingrained into her from a young age, whereas my dad actually came from a family like yours... aah, I mean, his was middle-class. He built up all he has now on his own. It wasn't something he was born into. But after so many years with my mother and spending time with her parents, my grandparents, he's gotten ridiculous with all the expectations and beliefs, too." I take a much needed breath. I can feel my cheeks heating with my embarrassment; where was I going with all this again? "What I'm trying to say, is that you shouldn't take my families attitude towards you personally."
Bella arches a brow. "Can I talk now?" she asks. I nod and my blush deepens, both because I just made a complete ass of myself, and because Bella slips her hand over mine when I nod. I hadn't realised I still had mine wrapped around her knee. "I understand. Believe me, I understand," she mumbles the last words, her voice trailing off as she looks down at her hand on top of mine. She seems to disappear into her own thoughts for the next few moments. She picks up her hand from mine, only to begin tracing the back of my hand. I don't remove my gaze from her face as I watch her while she thinks. Her index finger brushes up and down each of my fingers, connecting the knuckles like a dot-to-dot. Eventually, Bella inhales and exhales deeply. When she raises her eyes, I easily notice the resolute look she has in them.
"I don't know if Rosalie or any of the others told you, but I used to be their friend. In hindsight, it was a bad judgement call from me." She pauses when I chuckle, sending me a questioning look. I don't offer an explanation, which is that I find it funny how Rosalie said the exact same thing about Bella when she brought this up. Though she still looks curious, she continues. "My father," she says before her sentence is interrupted by a need to gulp. Her eyes drop to my hand.
"He was a decorated officer of Forks' Police force," she tries again, speaking down to my hand instead of at me. "Back then it was, how do I put this... a social boost to be seen with me. Even at eight, nine, ten years old, the people of this town were so hooked on, as you called it, social status. It was important to the kids as well as the adults, even to Rosalie, the Mayor's daughter. When I was Officer Charlie Swan's daughter, I was someone people wanted to hang out with, to talk to and be friends with. I had, what I had considered at the time, the bestest friends in the whole world. They loved being me with, and I'll admit, I loved being someone that everyone in school wanted to be with. It was egotistical, I see that now. None of them were ever really my friend because they liked me, it was all because of who my father was. Then he died, and the need to be around me that everyone had, it just vanished. It vanished along with my title of 'Officer Charlie Swan's daughter'."
"You're still his daughter, Bella," I say softly. I didn't want to interrupt her during what was very clearly a difficult story to tell, but I felt like I had to when she plaintively whispered that last sentence. Her eyes raise to meet mine. My chest physically aches at the sight of tears in her eyes. She stares at me for several seconds before she shakes her head and drops it once more.
"My attitude towards... everything, my whole persona... i-it changed when he passed away. He was my best friend. Not Rosalie or Lauren or Jessica. My dad was. Once he was gone, I'll hold my hands up and say it, I became this melancholy, depressed shell of myself. I stopped smiling as much, stopped talking so openly. I started dressing to match my mood and I had this sudden desire to be left alone all the time. The slightest thing would send me into fits of rage, something I'd never had trouble with before. I changed. That was most likely a catalyst for the way my so called friends began to treat me. It wasn't long after his funeral that I became the girl everyone avoided. The one that you should stay away from. The one that, if you are seen just talking to her, you're whole mental state is put into question. The one that people target to make themselves feel better. I became that girl."
Bella sighs before she raises her head. Without thinking, I reach up with the hand she hasn't been using as a focal point throughout her whole speech to wipe away the tear that falls. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to say all that. Even my eyes are moist. From the few weeks that I've known Bella, I can confidently guess that that was the first time she has said all of that out loud. Another tear rolls down her cheek, and I don't have to think twice before I pull on her hands, drawing her closer to me for a hug. She obviously needs the comfort, because in a very brazen and un-Bella-like move, she gets off the bed and climbs onto my lap, curling her body into the smallest ball physically possible. I freeze for only a second, my arms hovering mid-air before I wrap them around Bella, hugging her to me.
That's how we sit for the next while, our tutoring session forgotten for now. If my mother walked in now and saw us in this position, she'd shit a brick.
After a while, I don't know how long exactly, Bella raises her head. She stares at me, her eyes flickering between each of mine, before a rueful smile slowly creeps onto her face. "Maybe we should study someplace else from now on."
I chuckle, looking around my room. "Yeah, it's probably for the best that we don't spend all of our tutoring sessions here. At least when my parents are home." She joins my chuckles with her own light laughter. "Perhaps we could try your place next time," I suggest thoughtfully. Bella's laughter ceases a little too suddenly. She starts to pull away, and though I really don't want to, I drop my arms from around her. She gets off my lap and lays back down on her side across the foot of my bed.
"We'll see," is all she says, before demanding we return to the work we're supposed to be doing.
A/N: A heart-to-heart between these two was needed, I think. What do you think? Let me know!
See you Friday! :)