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Chapter 14: Dangerous Seeking

The next was a chaotic mess of pain and bundling me toward the medical area. I didn't quite pass into unconsciousness, not until I felt the hiss of some sedative or pain killer.

I woke, my thoughts sluggish. My arm bound, and I tried to wiggle my numb fingers.

That was pointless as I didn't feel anything.

"General, glad you're awake. How are you feeling?" Kix approached my bed, checking readouts above me.

"I confess I am not feeling anything amiss. I find that somewhat hard to reconcile with my last memories." My smile was small, because awaking here without lingering pain was unusual.

Kix lifted the arm-board, where my hand looked bruised but intact below an almost cocoon on my lower arm.

I willed my fingers to move, and they did, slowly. "What's the status?"

"A minor hit on your arm, quick treatment and surgery for gaps means you should regain full function quickly. We used the strongest locals and need to keep it still as possible for another day or two. You can return to your quarters tomorrow, if you behave."

That was a relief.

"We will be changing the packing hourly for a bit yet. You should rest as much as possible, General. Think happy thoughts or whatever works best for you."

I looked at Kix, wondering if he was alluding to Jedi skills for healing. No positive references of Jedi traditions had reached my ears in a year now. "I will meditate."

Kix's loyalties were not as clear as I once thought. It made little difference, as mine was a waiting game until the twins were more self-sufficient. Training was second only to that.

Late at night, I could feel visitors leaving the lift, clear in the Force.

Vader arrived in black again wearing a new mask, carrying sleepy and grumpy children. He dumped them on my lap appearing annoyed with them.

But his shields were very strong, showing only wisps of a very muted anger.

Leia sat on my leg, blinking her eyes and trying to stay awake.

Luke crawled up to look me in the eye to make sure I saw him. He said "Bobo," and went to sleep at my right shoulder.

I sent Leia affection. "Bobo is fine. The healers are still fixing my other arm. I will be home soon, Princess."

She made a face and lifted her arms to Vader.

As he picked her up, the darker emotion that had grown in the last few minutes, faded and smoothed as she dropped into sleep.

After minute or two, I asked quietly, "Were you injured?"

"Aside from the bloody nose, no." He wasn't angry. "I would have punched too hard, if I'd even thought of it."

"Were we entertaining enough for the crowd?" I knew they were pawns as well.

Vader's mood darkened. "Some were educated, alright."

I didn't know what else to talk about and was glad when Kix came back to change my bandaging. Vader collected Luke and left without saying anything else.

Weeks later perhaps months, I learned that Vader left for a Mid-rim mission. This was the first assignment since the twins were very young that had lasted over a few days. I had not asked and he had not volunteered. The twins and training more than filled my time.

My small creche seemed to be growing and learning very well. Some skills like moving objects and using cups came quickly, neither Leia or Luke wanted to master it last. Small objects had to to be packed away, not moved to higher shelves, between their climbing skills and occasional Force bursts. Leia was better at directions and had more words at her command, common for girl humans. Luke enjoyed his abstract art with markers, and they still liked being read to by either of us, repeating some words to us right away. Leia would have tantrums more often, but Luke continuously tried to give me a heart attack- and then giggled when I didn't hide my worry fast enough.

"Luke!" A shout came from the twins' room on Vader's arrival, his explosion of fear lasted longer. Vader stomped into the common room carrying a Luke, who was still blinking from waking up.

Luke started smiling, even as his sister started to giggle in my lap. They both giggled, and I found it more amusing as a spectator.

Outraged, Vader demanded, "How could you neglect him like this? He could have hurt himself!"

Vens trundled in behind Vader and I pointed him towards the charger, he could not help.

"Sit down." I sent calm into the deep burning lake. "Sunny-boy's fine. He likes to sleep like that for his naps for the last couple of weeks. As soon as I turn away, he climbs up again on the rail and drops off to sleep." -Feel how funny they both think this is. Panic will give them a high card in the game of parenthood, They're both sensitive enough to feel your feelings.-

Vader's eyes were big as he processed it and slowly calmed.

They stopped giggling before he reached calm.

Leia went back to looking at a small mirror in her hands and behind it, and Luke reached up to hug his father's neck, pleased at the attention.

Absently rubbing Luke's back, Anakin made a face at me. "You're just happy I have to control it."

"We all have to learn that. I was late enough I almost didn't become a Padawan. Qui-Gon let me learn the hard way. Ask any soldier, they have to control that combat trigger among civilians and to keep their heads in battle. Higher races without emotion is a polite fiction, and mastery of any art includes self-mastery. I had a twenty year head start, but that didn't mean it was easy.

"It never became easy." I could smile at Leia's touching the mirror and her own face.

Dinner and bedtime went smoothly, though Leia and Luke demanded more attention from him. It was extremely late when they finally dropped to sleep.

Vader flopped on the sofa, yawning. "I'm ordering another bed." A flat statement. -Palpatine's trying to find Ilum. He wants it for this battle station.-

"A bed? Where are you planning to put it?" -But you know where it is, you replaced enough light sabers.- Both topics were making me uneasy. I didn't know if this was planning or his intuition.

"It should fit in your room." Vader leaned closer with a grin, his voice lowering. "Unless you prefer I sleep in yours?" -I haven't trusted him since Padmé died. Another acolyte tried to assassinate me on the mission. I can't quit, can't escape. He'd destroy each of you to keep me and make me more powerful.-

I forced myself to take a deep breath. "We- I can make room for another bed."

-Just like old missions...- Vader's eyes drifted shut, his grin smug now.

I still wasn't sure which topic was more alarming. But I would prefer that Ilum not be found.