Once more, I return to sic this awful pairing upon the world.
Though, to be perfectly honest, this is probably moreso general friendship than anything. I even forwent a song reference for the title because this just isn't strictly romantic. Weird thing to do on Valentine's day, but hey, that's what rushing a fic tends to do.
Whether or not that is a good thing is entirely up to you.
And besides, it's not like anyone else around this section writes Bowser Jr.-centric fics, anyway. I'm breaking new ground!
"AND WHAT A FABULOUS DAY RACING FANS FOR AN ACTION-PACKED RACE!"
The crowd went doughnuts as the F-Zero machines roared across the track. The Blue Falcon in particular was leading the pack, which should come as no surprise as it was helmed by none other than Captain "Douglas Jay" Falcon. Sure, these exhibition races weren't the most stakes inducing, but these days, the Captain took any chance to tear up the track that he could get.
This particular race was no ordinary one either: not only was it a charity race, but it took place on the ever loved (or dreaded, depending on who you were) Valentines Day. As such, a number of the patrons filling the stands were accompanied by significant others. Pac-Man attended with his wife Ms. Pac-Man, Diddy Kong brought his girlfriend Dixie Kong and Mother Brain floated above the stands with the disembodied brain of Andross.
Amongst all of these couples, however, there was one couple that stood out.
"Weak! My dad would've been on his 8th lap by now!"
The voice of that statement was none other than Bowser Jr., the pesty prince of the Koopa Kingdom. He turned to the person he arrived with. "Can you believe this Rocky?"
The other turned to face the prince and Junior was annoyed to see that the robot had the same neutral expression that he usually had in battle. Junior dragged him all the way to Casino Palace for this?
The situation was not a normal one. Rock Light, AKA Mega Man, had not really intended to do much that particular day, when he was suddenly accosted by Bowser Jr.
Rock had prepared for a fight, but it turned out that Junior had an ulterior motive for showing up: his father, the notorious King Bowser, was enacting a plan to kidnap Princess Peach and after said plan was inevitably foiled, he decided to drag his other teammates to the milk bar to drown his sorrows. The Koopa King's plans as of late rarely involved his son, thus leaving it up to Junior to find some way to keep himself entertained.
That was when Junior learned of the F-Zero race taking place later that day. The promise of high-octane action in a place of (not suitable for minors) gambling and neon lights tantalized the young koopa into heading for the event, only to notice a curious bonus.
Couples got in free.
And so here they were, watching as the Blue Falcon tangled with the Black Bull as the other racers scrambled to catch up
"Come on! I bet half my allowance with Diddy that Black Shadow would win!"
"You really shouldn't have." Rock pointed out. "Sure the Black Bull is fast and sturdy, but once the Blue Falcon gets more boost power, it'll leave the Bull in the dust."
Bowser Jr. gave a disbelieving glance.
"You have the car stats inside you, don't 'cha?"
"...Gutsman and Roll really get into these races."
Bowser Jr. growled at the blue bomber and growled even further when, true to the robot's prediction, the Blue Falcon drove over a boost strip and sped past the Black Bull. Junior sunk into his seat, already mourning the coins that were looking more and more within his simian rival's grasp.
"Why didn't you tell me before that stinkin' bet?!" Bowser Jr. huffed in annoyance. "I don't know why I put up with you."
Rock came very close to saying something in response before thinking the wiser of it and going in the exciting, uncharted territory of giving a straight answer.
"Because you clearly appreciate being with me, as much as you don't like saying it."
Bowser Jr. gawked at that answer, conveniently forgetting that, given the circumstances that the two of them were attending this race under, this event could legally qualify as a date.
"And why do you think that?"
"Because you're spending time with me." Rock answered bluntly.
This seemingly innocent and entirely factual answer seemed to offend Bowser Jr., who became as scarlet as Ken's gi as he went into hysterics.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH! Don't go gettin' the wrong idea! I'm not hanging out with you because I like you or whatever trash you may have heard SOME PEOPLE say about me. I just like all the cool stuff that you can do. In fact, I'm gracing you with my presence."
Rock did not look convinced.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah! I'm saving you from sheer boredom!" Bowser Jr. explained. "Imagine if I didn't bring you to this awesome race! What would you be doing?!"
Rock gave it some thought before shrugging.
"Probably helping out around the lab or around town if I was needed."
"And what if you weren't?"
"Then I'd just turn myself off."
"See! That's why you should be thanking me. Otherwise you'd just be turned…" Bowser Jr. paused as the implication of what Rock said hit him. "...What do you mean 'turn off'? Like a vacuum or something? You've got cool weapons that you can do anything with! Why would you ever need to turn off?"
Rock suddenly looked bashful, aware of how uncomfortable his fellow smasher was becoming.
"I'm... different. Most of the other robots - my brothers - were built with specific purposes in mind. They each have a job that they need to do, so they need to be active when that work is being done. I'm different because I'm a helper robot. And if nobody needs help, then I'm not needed."
Despite the constant din of the crowd, the over-excited announcer and the hum of the F-Zero machines that could be heard even from their vantage point, there was a distressing silence that drowned all of that out. Mega Man recognized that Junior's behavior was unusual and attempted to course-correct.
"I don't do it often these days." He mentioned. "I'm usually good with finding something to do."
Bowser Jr. turned away from Rock, hiding the sneer creeping up on his face.
"See?! This sorta thing is why you should become my minion! Even if Dad can't find work for you, I'll make sure you never even consider turnin' yourself off!"
"This again?" Mega Man would have sighed if he was actually a human and not a human-like robot. "Why do you keep asking me that?"
"Why do you keep saying no?"
"Many reasons, but a big one is that you and your father are evil."
"No we're not!"
"Stop trying to play dumb." Rock's glare remained focused on the Koopa Prince. "Your father menaces kingdoms even beyond the Mushroom Kingdom and is a power hungry tyrant. You've kidnapped Princess Peach yourself from time to time. Are you going to tell me that, despite all that, you still think of yourself and your father as the good guys?"
"Yes!" Bowser Jr. glanced up into the sky. "I don't care about what you or anyone else thinks! What I say goes, and I say that the Koopa Troop are the good guys, no matter what! Even if Dad is different from all the heroes in those cartoons he lets me watch."
Rock gave Junior a surprised look.
"...I was not expecting you to grasp the concept of relative morality."
"Relatives? You mean like family members? What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nevermind. Let's just continue watching the race."
"Fine." Bowser Jr. grumbled as he sat back down. "But after this, we're going to this really neat arcade I found out about on the way here! And don't think I forgot about that whole off switch thing! I'm gonna request so many matches you'll forget that you even can shut yourself off!"
Mega Man turned back to the race as Bowser Jr. kept rattling off plans to ensure that Rock never had any time to breathe (but not really), much less do anything else. He would never spare nary a thought to the Koopa Princes demands to be a minion, of course, and as they interacted it was becoming clearer and clearer that Bowser Jr. 's perception of Mega Man was heavily influenced by the things he watched on TV.
Still, Junior was the only one Rock told about the off switch at this point, and seeing the normally arrogant Junior show genuine concern was surreal… and strangely comforting.
The whole thing about Mega Man having an off switch comes from an interview with Akira Kitamura, a man who played a key role in creating Mega Man. The interview itself is worth looking up, but the general gist is that the first three Mega Man games had a more serious tone to them compared to the others and there were aspects of Mega Man that had a sense of melancholy and loneliness to them (the off switch being the thing brought up). It may also help understanding how those games inspired things like the Megamix manga (whose author, funnily enough, was the one holding the interview) or both of the fan bands - The Protomen and the Megas.
Bowser Jr.'s view of "relative morality" comes from Bowser Jr.'s Journey and at least watch the cutscenes for it. And then mourn AlphaDream's demise meaning that we likely won't get that level of writing for Mario games again. But I digress.
But still, a lonely robot hero (even if its not really that relevant anymore) and a lonely mischievous prince. Even as just a friendship, it's quite something, no?
What's that?
No?
Ok.