Liz's cheeks burned as they made their way across the room to their table, which abutted a long bank of windows with a view overlooking the mountains. The sun had already set but the mountains were still visible against the darkening blue sky. She was quite sure she hadn't imagined the look on Ressler's face, but he had pulled away so quickly when the music changed, that she wasn't quite sure what to think. At the same time, she was conscious of the light press of his hand on her bare back as he guided her across the room. As they approached the table, which was set for five couples, she recognized a number of the blonde women she had spoken with earlier, including Jake's wife, Andie. Ressler pulled out a chair for her to sit and she flashed him a quick smile as she settled herself before turning to face all the inquisitive eyes.
"You want something from the bar?" Ressler asked in a low voice in her ear.
She did, but she also didn't want him to leave her alone with his relatives right away. "Not yet," she whispered as she gripped his arm. Ressler took the hint and sat down next to her and fingered his water glass.
"Hi, I'm Kate," the blonde woman on Liz's left leaned in as she pressed Liz's arm.
"Liz. Pleased to meet you," Liz replied as she glanced toward Kate's plus one who she had to assume from his red hair was another of Ressler's relatives.
"You two looked so cute on the dance floor," Kate continued. "How long have you known each other?"
Liz flicked her eyes towards Ressler, who raised an eyebrow almost imperceptibly. "We've known each other for over five years now, I guess," Liz replied. "But we haven't been seeing each other that long," she added hastily. The last thing she wanted was for Ressler's relatives to draw the wrong conclusions. They had to know about Audrey's death.
"Don, you've been holding out on us!" Jake boomed from across the table. "How come we haven't met your lady before?"
"You think I want to scare her off?" Ressler replied with a self-deprecating grin.
"So how did you two meet?" Andie asked as she leaned in.
Ressler shifted in his chair. "At work," he replied simply.
Andie's eyes widened as she turned towards Liz. "Do you work for the FBI too?"
Liz glanced at Ressler who gave her a barely perceptible nod. "I do. We're partners, actually."
Liz felt eight pairs of eyes bore into her in stunned silence. Kate was the first to speak. "So you're – you're an FBI agent too?" she managed.
"I am," Liz replied proudly as she took a sip from her water glass. She felt somewhat pleased at the evident discomfort that revelation had caused among Ressler's relatives.
"Pretty and lethal," Jake murmured as Andie playfully slapped him on the arm. But Liz could tell from his tone and expression that there was a coldness there that hadn't been there before.
"Well, we're glad you're here, Liz," Andie replied to cover the tension as she raised her water glass.
"Thanks, me too," Liz replied simply. As she glanced across the table, she saw one of men at the table, a broad shouldered man with blonde hair, wasn't smiling. In fact, he was staring at her in a way that made her extremely uncomfortable.
"Can I go get us drinks now?" Ressler whispered in her ear.
Liz turned away from the man and gave Ressler a broad smile. "Yes, I think that's a good idea."
The time passed quickly as they ate their salads and made small talk with Ressler's relatives. Liz felt a pang as she listened to the women talk about motherhood. Most of them seemed to have children close to Agnes's age. Liz didn't want to admit that she had a child when that child wasn't living with her, but she would have otherwise loved to find common ground with the women as they gushed about their offspring.
"You want a refill?" Ressler asked as the waiter cleared their salad plates. "Wine?"
"Yes, but if you don't mind, I'll get it. What do you want?" Liz replied. She needed a break from the table and the conversation.
Ressler held her gaze for a moment and frowned. "You ok?" He hadn't missed the expression on her face.
Liz shook her head. "I'm fine. I'm just not exactly mom of the year material," she said in a low voice as she gestured towards the cousins' wives. "I'll go get the refills if that's ok."
Ressler blinked and then nodded. "Okay. Some kind of beer. Surprise me."
As Liz made her way to the bar, she realized the broad shouldered man from their table was following her. She placed the orders, but as she turned to return to the table with their drinks, she found him blocking her path.
"Excuse me," she managed as she attempted to step around him. But the man moved right along with her and continued to block her path.
"I know who you are," he said brusquely.
Liz clutched the two drinks in her hand tightly. "Well, that puts you one up on me," she retorted. "You are -?"
"Caleb. I'm Jake's brother. I'm Don's –"
"Cousin, right? On his mom's side?" Liz replied. "Nice to meet you, Caleb. If you'll excuse me, I'll –" she again tried to move around him.
"You're Elizabeth Keen," Caleb replied curtly.
Liz inhaled sharply. She had a bad feeling she knew where this was going. "That's right. And - ?"
"You're not just Don's partner," Caleb continued. "You're the one from the news. The FBI agent who went on the run with Raymond Reddington. The one who shot the attorney general and got a Presidential pardon."
Liz clutched the glasses tighter. She instantly felt a fool for not really considering the fact that Ressler's relatives would make that connection. It all felt like such a long time ago but of course they would have paid more attention than most to the manhunt given Ressler's involvement.
"I am. So - ?" she asked tightly.
She was surprised to see Caleb's face stretch into to a broad grin. "Well that doesn't make you an ordinary fed, does it?" he replied.
Liz blinked, unsure how to respond. As she hesitated, she suddenly felt a warm hand on her back and she turned quickly to see Ressler beside her.
"Everything ok?" he asked evenly. But Liz could tell from his posture and his tone that he was squaring for a fight with Caleb.
"You've been holding out on us, Donnie," Caleb replied with a grin. "Why didn't you ell us who Liz really is? I recognize her from those news reports where your face was all over the TV."
"Because it's none of your damn business," Ressler retorted as he took a step closer. Liz, sensing battle, stepped between the two men.
"It's fine. I'm fine," she replied quickly as she she turned to face Caleb. "Look, I haven't asked for your history so I'm not sure why you need to know mine, but now you know so let's move on" she added in an effort to diffuse the situation.
Caleb leaned over and took both drinks from her hand. "I think it's time you were properly introduced to the family, Liz," he said as he strode confidently back to the table.
Liz shot Ressler a helpless glance as Caleb headed across the room. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "This is my fault, I should have known —"
Ressler rubbed his hand lightly up and down Liz's back. "You didn't know and it's fine, Liz. I'm not embarrassed if that's what you're worried about," he added reassuringly.
"I should have expected this could happen - I mean, your stepfather recognized me, years ago, right? The last thing you need is for your family to assume you're involved with some former felon, especially when it's not even the truth," Liz's voice trailed off as she hung her head.
"Hey," Ressler said as he cupped her cheek gently and lifted her face so she was looking right at him. "Don't worry about what my family thinks. I don't care what they think, so why should you? I'm glad you're here, Liz, for what that's worth."
Liz managed a faint smile. "Thank you," she whispered. She exhaled as she watched Caleb arrive at their table and set down their drinks with an expectant grin on his face. "I guess it's time for the side show, though."
"Yeah," Ressler agreed. "Don't worry about it, ok?"
They made their way slowly across the room. When they arrived at the table, Caleb wrapped his arm around Liz's shoulders. "Donnie here hasn't told us the whole story," he boomed as he flashed a blatantly false smile at Liz. "Liz here isn't your ordinary FBI agent – she's the one who went on the run with Raymond Reddington. The one Donnie was on the news with a couple years back trying to arrest."
Liz flushed as all of the other couples at the table turned and gaped at her.
"I knew she looked familiar," Jake exclaimed as he slapped his leg. "You were holding out on us, Donnie."
Ressler shook his head. "I wasn't," he managed.
Liz exhaled. "Look – it's not what you think –"
"What I think is that you're the kind of Fed we should be toasting," Caleb intoned as he shot Ressler a grin. "Fighting the good fight against the government machine. And here I thought Donnie was a stuffed suit with no fun in him. What's Reddington really like?"
Liz shot Ressler a helpless look. He shrugged and gave her a barely imperceptible nod.
"He's – extremely smart," Liz replied slowly. "Dangerous, lethal – all the things you read about but also incredibly loyal, daring, exactly the man you want on your side rather than against it." Her eyes flicked to Ressler who looked flushed but stoic. "He's not as bad as people make him out to be," she added softly.
"Well, here's to the FBI's Most Wanted," Jake replied with a mischievous grin and a glance at Ressler as he raised his glass.
"Didn't I see on the news that Reddington got arrested recently?" Andie asked nervously. "Don, did you have anything to do with that?"
Liz darted another glance at Ressler, who looked resigned. "He did, and no I didn't," Ressler replied curtly.
Liz put her hand on Ressler's shoulder. "I don't know about you, but think I'd like to dance," she said in a low voice as she inclined her head towards the dance floor.
"Sounds like a great idea," Ressler murmured as he tossed his napkin on the table and took Liz's arm.
"Well, that was awkward," Liz whispered as Ressler put his arm around her waist on the dance floor again.
"You've got nothing to apologize for," Ressler reiterated as he glanced over her shoulder towards their table. "In fact, I think you've actually improved my reputation in the eyes of my cousins thanks to your association with Reddington." He turned them slightly so Liz was facing their table where the couples were holding an animated conversation while stealing glances at Liz and Ressler.
Liz stifled a laugh as she rested her forehead against Ressler's shoulder. "That wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I said we'd give them something to talk about."
"No? You didn't want to wear your former fugitive status like a badge of honor? Or your status as his daughter?"
Liz lifted her head to find him gazing at her with an amused expression.
"Not exactly," Liz admitted. If he only knew the whole truth.
"Well, all I can say is I'm sure you've more than satisfied your goal of giving them plenty to talk about," Ressler replied with a chuckle. "And other than that - what exactly did you have in mind as a plan to save my reputation?"
Liz couldn't help but laugh at the quizzical expression on his face. "Nothing quite so serious," she replied with a wink. "I thought maybe we should try to look like an actual couple while we dance," she added with a wink as she slid her hands around his neck. "You know, simple stuff like that."
Ressler stared at her for a moment and then lowered his hands to her waist and drew her closer against him. "I think I can manage that," he murmured.
By the time they made their way back to the table for the main course, the conversation had shifted to other topics and Liz was grateful to sit back and listen more than talk. Eventually, she excused herself to visit the ladies room. As she was washing her hands, Meg appeared at the sink beside her.
"Elizabeth, I'm so glad to catch you," she said warmly. "Can we catch up for a few minutes before we head back in?"
"Of course," Liz agreed as she followed Meg out the door and across the lobby to a small couch in front of the fireplace. As they sat down, Meg took Liz's hands in hers and squeezed them.
"How are you really doing?" Meg asked softly. "And how's your precious little girl?"
Liz exhaled as she realized Ressler hadn't told his mother that Agnes was no longer living with her. As she lifted her eyes slowly to meet Meg's, she was struck by how similar her eyes were to Ressler's.
"I wish I knew," Liz replied quietly. "She's been living with her grandmother — Tom's mother — for over a year. I didn't think it was safe to have her with me, or to have much contact with her, until Tom's killer was found. " Liz blinked rapidly.
"Oh I'm so sorry, Don didn't tell me that," Meg exclaimed. "I was under the misimpression that his killer had been caught. That must be so hard for you."
Liz shook her head. "We did find the killer, and he's dead now. But — and I can't tell you why — I haven't even told Ressler — I mean, Don — I haven't even told him — there's things that I still don't know that make me question whether it's safe to bring her home."
"I see," Meg said quietly as she squeezed Liz's hands a little tighter. "I'm sure she's well-taken care of. And I hope you get the answers you're looking for soon. But in the meantime, what about you? What are you doing to take care of you?"
Liz blinked rapidly again as she fought an increasing difficult battle to contain her emotions. "Coming here — getting away from it all — this is probably the first thing I've really done for myself," she said quietly. "I let Ressler think I was doing it for him, but in reality, I think I just needed some normalcy. A weekend among the living."
"Well, that's important honey. I hope he's showing you a good time. You two looked like you were having fun on the dance floor." Meg's eyes were warm with concern. "And you need to remember what it's like to live. Both of you do. You're young. You have so many years ahead of you."
Liz nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Eventually she cleared her throat. "When did you start feeling like you wanted to live again?" she asked softly. "When did you feel like you were ready to move on?"
Meg pursed her lips thoughtfully. "It was never a matter of waking up one day and feeling ready to move on," she replied slowly. "It was really allowing the people who loved me and cared for me to keep me going until I felt like the present and the future began to matter more again than the past. Having my children around helped with that tremendously. But eventually I met Ed and I began to feel alive in a different way again. I never expected to fall in love again, but I did. And it certainly was rocky at points, with the boys and Ed not getting along, but we perservered and I'm grateful for his love and companionship."
"I want to bring Agnes home more than anything," Liz replied. "Everything I'm doing now is because I want that."
Meg nodded as she took her hand and smoothed Liz's hair away from her face. "I understand there are things you feel you can't or shouldn't tell Don. But maybe you should think about why you feel that way. Because I know he'd like to help if you if he can."
Liz bit her lip. "It's not that I don't want to tell him, it's that I'm worried about what will happen if I do. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him."
Meg's expression turned more serious. "But in trying to protect him, are you putting yourself at more risk, Elizabeth? Because if you are, you're not sparing him anything. I know my son. And I know he would do anything to help you if he could, even if it meant taking personal risk. He's very like his father in that way. And it's one of his best qualities. You're partners. Let him help you."
Liz smiled faintly. "Maybe I will," she agreed.
Just then, she looked up to see Ressler striding across the lobby, with a concerned look on his face that softened when he saw Liz sitting with his mother.
"I was worried when you were gone so long," he admitted as he approached the two of them. "I should have known you waylaid her," he continued with a reproachful glance at Meg.
Meg stood up with a laugh. "I know. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I'm sure Ed is sitting at the table with a scowl wondering who I'm chatting with. Meg turned to Liz, who had also gotten up, and hugged her tightly. "You should tell him," she whispered in her ear before stepping back and smiling warmly at both of them. "You two looked wonderful on the dance floor earlier. I hope to see more of that tonight." She patted Ressler's arm as she headed back into the reception room.
Ressler's gaze followed his mother for a moment before turning back to Liz. He frowned as he saw the remnants of a tear on Liz's cheek. Barely thinking, he took his finger and gently swiped it away. "What was all that about? You okay?"
"I'm fine," Liz replied reassuringly. "Your mother is wonderful, as always. I just got emotional telling her about Agnes and the fact she's not with me."
Ressler exhaled. "I'm sorry about that. I guess maybe I should have warned her. I wasn't sure you wanted to make it her business so I kept it to myself."
Liz took his arm and squeezed it. "I know that, and I appreciate it. Look - I could use some fresh air. Do you think we could go outside for a few minutes?"
"Of course," Ressler murmured. He put his free hand over her hand that was wrapped around his other arm as he led her across the lobby and out on to the verandah that overlooked the mountains. There wasn't much moonlight, but there was just enough that they could make out the shapes of the peaks in the distance.
Liz shivered slightly at the sudden change in temperature "Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?" Ressler offered quickly. Liz shook her head.
"No, the crisp air feels good," she said as she took a deep breath. The faint scene of wildflowers still hung like perfume in the air despite the colder temperature.
"Ok. But if you change your mind, you let me know," Ressler said. He hesitated a moment before wrapping his arms around Liz from behind, giving her as much of his bodily warmth as he could.
Liz leaned back into his warm embrace, which was a pleasant contrast to the cool night air, and they stood quietly for a while listening to the sounds of the reception inside intermingled with the sounds of crickets chirping faintly in the distance. Liz briefly considered sitting him down and filling him in on what was really going on with Reddington but just as quickly abandoned the notion. She wanted to enjoy this moment — this present — without bringing the weight of everything she had left behind in D.C. back into it.
Ressler didn't press her to talk. He was curious about her conversation with his mother, but sensed that Liz wasn't ready to talk about it. While he'd instinctively wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm, he hoped she hadn't found the gesture strange or uncomfortable given that it was only the two of them on the verandah and there was no need to pretend. As time passed, he found himself overly conscious of the scent of her hair, the feel of her skin, and the shimmer of her dress in the dim lighting. Barely aware of what he was doing, he closed his eyes and pressed his face close against the back of her head.
"Are you smelling my hair?" Liz's playful tone brought him back to reality and his eyes snapped open as he pulled back quickly. He swallowed hard. He had lost himself in the moment and was immediately embarrassed.
"Maybe," he replied simply as he struggled to compose himself as quickly as he could. Despite his efforts, Liz didn't miss the burning look in his eyes as she took a step back and turned to face him. She felt a rush of warmth begin to spread throughout her body as she saw the open longing on his face. She lowered her gaze to his lips, which were slightly parted and her heartbeat quickened as she wondered again what it would feel like to kiss him.
Suddenly, he cupped her face with his hands and in a fluid motion drew her close as he pressed his lips against hers. Liz melted into him as she wrapped her hands around his neck and gave herself over to the kiss. As his tongue flickered gently against hers, Liz shivered as Ressler's hands dropped from her face to her back. She was rewarded by his soft moan as she moved her hands lower and traced the muscles of his back with her fingernails.
They were so caught up in each other than neither noticed the door to the verandah open until a man cleared his throat. Liz and Ressler hastily pulled apart.
"I'm sorry to intrude. Your mother told me to come find you and tell you're they're cutting the cake," Ed said gruffly. He ducked his head and disappeared back through the doorway as hastily as he had appeared.
Liz and Ressler both gaped at Ed's retreating back before turning to meet each other's eyes. After a moment's pause, they both burst out laughing.
"Of all people, it had to be Ed," Ressler murmured as he shook his head ruefully.
"Well, since your mother summoned us, I guess we'd better go, right?" Liz replied coyly.
"If you say so. Personally, I feel like I'm fourteen and I just got caught necking on the porch."
Liz found his wounded look endearing as she fought another laugh that bubbled to the surface. At the same time, her mind was already racing about what had just happened between them. She forced herself to push those thoughts aside as she laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand lightly. "Let's go back inside before your mother worries."
"Whatever you say," Ressler agreed reluctantly.