A/N: I didn't post twice this week as I said I may do, but I'll definitely post twice next week. Probably Monday/Tuesday and then the Friday as usual. Hope that makes up for it! And this chapter is a bit late, I know. Technically it's not Friday anymore. To be fair, I have been trying to edit this one for the last half hour but I keep getting error after error; fingers crossed this works! Sorry if you were waiting for this all day.

I realised recently that I always thank you for the reviews but never the favourites and follows. So, thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows! It really does mean a lot. I smile like a crazy lady whenever I get an email notification for them!

There's a little bit of an overlap with the end of the last chapter and the start of this one. It's just a switch in POV. It begins from the moment Bella came to sit back down beside Edward on the bed after pinning up the chart. There is a lemon in this chapter. Actually, this chapter is basically just one big lemon lol. Sorry if that's not your thing.

I'll Always Find Peace In The Meadow

Chapter Forty-Five: 'your promise' (Bella POV)

Monday 10 July 2017

I can't believe how this evening has turned out. He knows! He knows everything, and I feel so conflicted about it all.

Should I be happy? Happy that someone knows and it's not a secret I have to carry on my own two shoulders anymore.

Should I be angry? Angry that he has forced me to tell him about my mother's treatment of me and the things she makes me do around the house.

Should I be ashamed? Should I be relieved?

Should I be guilty? Guilty because I've asked him to keep my secret, knowing how much of a burden it is.

What should I be feeling right now?

I honestly don't know, but my emotions are a swirling mixture of all those right now. I feel like there's a tornado going on inside me.

I can't help but replay tonight's events over and over in my mind. It's not at all how I expected Edward to find out. Well, I didn't expect him to find out at all, but not for one minute did I want him to witness Renee's ways with me. That's the thing I regret most about tonight. I wish I could rewind the time and not have opened my window.

However, despite that wish, there's a small part of me that knows that all that has happened tonight has been good. Good for me. Good for my friendship with Edward. I don't have to lie now. I hated lying to him on Saturday. It was horrific, knowing that the words I was saying to him, my best friend, the one person I trust and care about more than anyone, was all a pack of lies. Now, I don't need to avoid us getting close when I have a new bruise. I don't have to push him away like I did last week. I can be honest.

Though how honest I decide to be is yet to be seen. I'm positive I won't be telling him all the gory details... if I can get away with it.

I don't know how long I've been lost in my own thoughts for. I'm pulled out of them when Edward stands from his spot beside me on the bed. "What are you doing?" I ask, panicked as I stare at him with wide eyes.

"I should leave. Let you get some sleep," he says. I glance at the alarm clock on my nightstand, doing so rapidly so I can return my attention to him.

"Are your parents expecting you back?" I ask.

"They don't know I'm here."

"Oh." My response is quiet, disheartened. I was hoping the news of them having me over for dinner this week meant that they were warming up to me. That's obviously not the case if he's had to sneak out to come see me. It doesn't matter to me, doesn't change how much time I'll spend with Edward, but it would make our lives easier if they'd at least try to like me. Rushed opinions are often untrustworthy opinions.

I lower my gaze to the floor by my feet, attempting to shield my disappointment. I hear his heavy sigh and look up to him, my eyes widening when I see his face is much closer than before. He's bent at the waist, lowered toward me, and even though I don't know the reason why, I take the opportunity to convince him to stay longer. I quickly lift my face, pressing my mouth to his with a rough urgency.

I put as much force as I can into the kiss. My heart feels heavy in my chest when he pulls back a bit, but instantly lightens when he responds to the kiss with some urgency of his own. I want to say something, but don't want him to use that as his chance to escape, so I grip his shirt tightly in my hands, ignoring the ache in my wrist, before I pull away and close my eyes.

"Don't go," I beg breathlessly. My heart is beating in double time, and I can feel my body is heated from that kiss. I sense him pull back, so I tighten my right hand around the material of his shirt. "Please," I whisper, opening my eyes to stare up at him, wanting to show him how much I want him to stay.

He agrees quicker than I was expecting him to. "Okay," he says as he slowly begins lowering himself to sit beside me once more. "I'll stay a while longer."

I wait until he's fully seated before I release his shirt, placing my hands in my lap. Unbeknown to Edward, my right hand is currently cradling my left wrist. This fracture, although healing, sure is a pain.

"What do you want to do?" he asks. My eyes haven't strayed from Edward's, and when he asks that question, only one thing comes to mind.

I slowly drag myself back until I'm leant up against my headboard, but I make sure to leave Edward a majority of the space at the top of my bed. Then I pat the large space beside me. He looks confused as he moves to lean back against the headboard like I am.

Once he's still again, I move forward, away from the headboard as I turn to face him. His look of confusion changes to one of alarm as I straddle him. His shocked expression is comical, but I'm not in the laughing mood right now. I wait a moment, hoping he'll put his hands on my hips or legs, just like he did in the meadow on Saturday, but he doesn't. Looks like I'll have to take matters into my own hands.

I reach out and place both my hands on either side of his face as I lean forward to kiss him. This kiss is less urgent than before, it's a more delicate and more passion-filled kiss. I try to convey to him with this one kiss what it is I want to do right now. I have to hold back my smile when I feel his arms wrap around me as he kisses me back.

As the kiss deepens, I thread my fingers into his hair, pushing them through until they meet at the back of his head. As our tongues meet and swirl around one another, I move my hands down to his shoulders, which I use to pull him away from the headboard until we're chest to chest. I trail my hands down his back in one quick sweep, quickly gripping the hem of his shirt so I can get it off of him. Our mouths and chests part only long enough for me to rid him of his shirt. I place my hands on his back, focusing for now on the kisses.

I tense when I feel his hands delve beneath my shirt and start to guide it up. I'm instantly reminded of the bruising on my ribs and pull away, panting as I place my hands on his shoulders and shake my head lightly. "My top stays on," I tell him. I fully expect to fight him on this, which is why I'm left in frozen shock for several seconds when he simply nods his head.

I bring our mouths back together and resume our kisses. Edward has one arm around my back as he uses the other to help him shift down the bed. I help, moving back on my knees and following him without breaking the connection of our mouths. He slowly lays back on the bed, his arm around my back bringing me with him.

We just make out for a little while, our hands roaming all that we can reach of the other's body. When his hands move down to my ass, I can't stop the smirk that appears on my lips and I grind myself down on the hardening bulge in his jeans that's beneath me. He groans into my mouth and squeezes, eliciting another grind of my pelvis from me.

I pull away from his lips and sit up, panting heavily. I place my hand on his bare chest as I climb off of him, silently telling him to stay. I make quick work of removing my black leggings before I straddle his hips once more. His breathing is heavier than before as his eyes sweep over me sitting astride him in just my t-shirt and panties. I blush.

He reaches out and trails his hands down my arms until he can hold both of my hands. "You really are beautiful, Bella," he says quietly. I blush a darker shade of red and refrain from rolling my eyes at him. I don't quite believe it, but know he doesn't like it when I put myself down, so I just lower myself back down, keeping myself propped up with my right hand beside his head while my left, the one with the splint, caresses the side of his face.

I press my mouth to his, and sweep my tongue across his bottom lip, asking for entrance, which he grants. He groans when I allow all of my body weight to rest along the length of his body. His hands return to my backside, which he massages while we continue to kiss.

I sit back up after a while, earning a pout from Edward as our mouths part. I can't stop my giggle as I shake my head at him. I let my eyes roam his body, following the trail of my gaze with my hands. I can feel the quick beating of his heart as I pass over his chest. When my hands reach the waistband of his jeans, I pause and look into his dark green eyes. "Do you have any condoms?" I ask quietly, really hoping he answers with a yes, because I don't have any.

He just stares at me for a moment, eyes wide. Then a slow blush creeps into his cheeks and he nods shyly. I breathe a sigh of relief and climb off of him, letting him up to retrieve them. I'm expecting him to reach into his pocket for his wallet and maybe get one out of there. Don't all guys have a spare in their wallets? What I don't expect, however, is for Edward to get up off of my bed and go to his bag which he dropped on the other side of my room. He unzips it, pulling out a handful of little square foil packets. My eyebrows rise.

He smiles at me sheepishly as he comes back over, depositing the packets onto my nightstand. "Were you expecting something to happen tonight, Edward?" I ask, teasingly.

"I hadn't ruled the possibility out," he says as he toes off his shoes. He bends to quickly pull off his socks before getting back onto the bed, resuming his position of being led down. I don't move for a moment, not knowing what he wants me to do, until he grasps my hand in his and pulls it towards his chest. I move in closer, going to lie down on the bed beside him, but when my chest meets his side, he promptly reaches down for my thigh and guides me back to my previous position, too, so I'm straddling him again.

I look at him questioningly, one eyebrow raised. He shrugs one shoulder. "I liked it this way," he says, lowering his eyes briefly. "The views great," he says seriously, before looking up at me with a mischievous grin. I look down at myself to see that the collar of my t-shirt is gaping down, giving him a full on view of my average sized cleavage. I go beetroot red and bury my face into his chest, giggling.

When I raise my head, I watch as the humour vanishes from his expression, and a deep-lust fills his darkening eyes. He grasps the back of my head and pulls my mouth down to meet his. As our tongues once again meet, a new urgency takes over me. I lift my hips away from his and lower my right hand between our bodies. I'm lent on my left elbow, not hand, so my wrist isn't in any unnecessary pain.

I fumble for the fastenings of his jeans, but it's an incredibly difficult task to accomplish when you're in the middle of a dizzying kiss and using only one hand. I wrench my mouth from Edward's, panting as I sit up. He doesn't pout this time, but rather pushes himself up onto his elbows, like there's an invisible string connecting us together meaning that when I move, he moves.

I use both hands, as best as I can with the bummed wrist, to unbutton his jeans. I scoot back a fraction, and then raise my eyes to Edward's as I slowly lower the zipper, my hand brushing his hard length the entire time. He groans and drops back down onto the bed and I smirk, very much enjoying that I can give him pleasure with such a simple act.

I move myself to kneel between his legs instead of straddling his hips and then I start tugging at his jeans. He helps me, lifting his hips so I can remove them. Once they're off, I chuck them to the floor, and then I eagerly move my hands to the waistband of his grey boxers. His hands grab mine, stopping me. I look up at him, trying not to show the rejection I'm feeling. "Are you sure?" he whispers.

Confusion sweeps through me as I stare at him incredulously. "Seriously? You ask me that now?" I ask, gesturing to both of our various states of undress.

"I just thought, after the evening we've had, maybe..." he trails off as I quickly climb back up his body, until I'm once again straddling him. I lower my face to his so I can look directly in his eyes.

"I am absolutely sure I want this, Edward... I want you," I say the last part tentatively. He blinks at me and then, without another word, he raises his mouth to meet mine. He rolls us over quickly, and carefully, seeing as my bed is much smaller than his. It's old, too, and creaks as he switches our positions, so he's on top. The noise causes us both to freeze. And then burst out laughing.

Still chuckling, I lift my legs and wrap them around Edward's waist, catching him off guard as I anchor his body down to mine. All seriousness returns as our mouths once again meet and our arms wrap around one another. His mouth leaves mine, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses across my jaw and down my neck. He pulls back and I have to reluctantly release the grip of my legs from around him. I let them fall to the bed as Edward looks down at me, his hands gently running down my sides, settling on my hips. My heart rate picks up and the pit of my belly tightens as his hands gently grasp the elastic waistband of my panties. He keeps his eyes on mine as he slowly starts to lower them. There's no hesitation from me as I lift my hips to allow him to remove them easily.

Once they're off and dropped to the floor, Edward finally let's his eyes separate from mine. Every nerve feels like it's on fire in the wake of his heated, desire-filled gaze as he trails his eyes down my body. I may still have my t-shirt on, but that doesn't hide the fact that my chest is rising and falling with heavy breath, which is where his gaze lingers for a moment or two before moving further down.

He stops his wandering gaze at my now bare center. I blush deeply, realising that this is the first time he's seen all of me bare. We kept our eyes above waistline during our first time. I guess he's feeling a little more confident this time. I have the urge to close my legs or cover myself in some way, but Edward's hands, which are now on my knees, won't allow that. He slowly moves his hands down the inside of my thighs, and my breaths start coming out in short, quick installments. When his thumbs brush against the edges of my now aching center, I gasp sharply, closing my eyes.

I feel movement and when I open my eyes again, I see Edward's face close to mine. He's lowered himself back over me. He places his mouth to mine and kisses me softly, without the urgency from earlier. It's like he's trying to calm me down. I know I'm feeling a mixture of both nerves and excitement right now, and without knowing it, his tender kisses are exactly what I needed.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and keep him close to me. I get lost in the kisses but not lost enough to be totally unaware of his hand slithering down between our bodies; I allow him to, keeping my eyes closed and myself focused on our tangled tongues.

When his fingers brush against my tender flesh, I gasp into his mouth. He strokes me several times, and I jump when he comes into contact with my clit. My mouth starts becoming more insistent on his as he continues his torturous movements. When one of his fingers moves down my slick flesh and probes at my entrance, I freeze beneath him. I open my eyes to meet his, and he seems to search them for something, before he presses a single finger into me slowly. I gasp and arch my back slightly. I have to refrain from reacting with abandon like I want to for fear of twinging my ribs.

Edward keeps his eyes on mine as he slowly retracts his finger before pushing it back into me slowly. I whimper quietly and pull his mouth back down to mine so I can try and hide my sounds of pleasure. Edward doesn't relent in his ministrations and soon the pressure from deep in the pit of my belly starts to build. He adds a second finger and I moan loudly into his mouth, not feeling the least bit embarrassed. I tighten my arms around him as the pleasure I'm feeling builds and builds. I don't know what's happening exactly, but I know I don't want it to stop. Ever.

Edward pulls his mouth from mine, and I pant audibly as he trails his mouth down to my neck, all the while keeping the steady rhythm of his fingers plunging in and out of me. His kisses on the column of my neck turn to sucking and all the wonderful sensations happening all at once cause that tightly wound ball of pressure from within me to burst. Warmth spreads through me as every muscle I'm aware of tenses. I cry out, clenching my eyes shut and grip Edward's hair tightly as my toes curl and a pleasure unlike anything I've ever known takes over my body. My back arches further than I intended but if it caused any pain, I don't feel it.

My breaths are coming out in quick pants as I collapse to the bed, feeling weightless. My hands drop from Edward's hair and I slowly open my eyes. "What was that?" I ask. Edward's eyes, which were showing much pride only a second ago, look confused now.

"You've never..." He goes silent, looking at me with shock clear on his face. "But you were so casual when we spoke about it last time."

Oh. My eyes widen and my mouth, which was already open to expel my heavy breathing, opens further. "That was an... orgasm?" I ask, dumbfounded. I thought I felt pleasure last time, but that was unlike anything I've ever experienced.

"Was that your first one?"

I don't even have it in me to feel embarrassed as I nod, still shocked. No wonder sex is so hyped, if you can feel that during it. Is it possible for a woman to experience that during intercourse? Only one way to find out.

I run my hands down Edward's sides, and his astonishment seems to be forgotten. I snap the waistband of his boxers against his hip, causing him to jump slightly. With a smirk, I say, "take them off."

He quickly rids himself of the last piece of his clothing, and while he does so, I snatch a condom from the nightstand. I sit up, my legs still on either side of Edward as I look up at him. "Can I?" I ask, holding up the foil packet as way of explanation.

Sat back on his knees with his hands on his thighs, all he can do is nod. I sweep my eyes down to his hard length and take in the sight of him. It's the first time I've seen all of Edward. He's quite big, and I know if I'd have seen him beforehand the first time, there's a strong possibility I may not have gone through with it.

I take a deep breath as I rip into the foil packet. Remembering what to do from health class, after aimlessly discarding the packet to the floor, I reach out with shaking hands to start rolling the rubber down Edward's member. He sucks in a deep breath but I don't glance up at him, concentrating solely on my task.

Once it's rolled all the way down, I finally look up at him. His heavy lidded eyes are staring at me. I slowly lower myself down to my back, and Edward eagerly follows. I press my mouth to his, sucking his tongue into my mouth as he reaches down between us, placing himself at my entrance. I open my legs further, gripping my arms around him tighter as he presses forward, entering me.

Our lips freeze against one another's as we get accustomed to that feeling again. It's uncomfortable for me at first, but I'm sure it'll be that way for the first few times. Edward's breathing is already heavy, so I know it's as pleasurable for him this time as it was last time. He slides in easily, and I can only put that down to the indescribable pleasure I just experienced by his hand. Once he's fully seated inside me, the fronts of our bodies aligned so perfectly, he waits a second, and then pulls back his hips, not once breaking eye contact with me. I let out a shaky breath when he presses back in, at the pleasure it brings me. I didn't expect it to feel that good so soon. I can feel it in every nerve, every muscle.

I rewrap my legs around his waist, which only seems to make him sink deeper. I know he feels it, too, if his low groan is anything to go by. His thrusts are slow at first, measured, gentle. I close my eyes and lay my head back, soaking up all the feelings. The quiet creaking of my bed isn't so humorous now. When I feel Edward's lips at my neck again, I moan not-so-quietly, and the pace of his thrusting picks up a bit. I can feel that tight knot of pleasure in the pit of my stomach slowly reappear and I tighten my arms around him. I want more, but I don't feel brave enough to just ask for it, so I try showing him instead.

I lock my ankles at his back and start meeting his thrusts, attempting to set a new pace. That doesn't last long though, because Edward places one more kiss behind my ear - sending a shiver through me - before his hand trails down my side, down to my hip which he grips tightly, preventing me from moving. I groan in frustration and he pulls his head away from my neck, holding himself up with a hand beside my head as he stares down at me, still thrusting at a steady, gentle pace.

He stares at me for a minute before catching on to my frustration. The next time he pulls his hips back, he holds them there for an agonisingly prolonged second, so he's almost completely out of me, before he suddenly slams back into me. I cry out, gripping at his forearms tightly. "Okay?" he pants out. I nod.

"Again," I reply, just as breathlessly. He smirks with a smug look that I don't have the power to find irksome at this moment in time, and repeats the action, drawing out another loud cry from me. He does it again and again and I look down between us when he pulls back another time, watching as he moves in and out of me. Edward looks down too, and the moan that leaves his throat is such a turn on. I can't help it, I have no control over myself, and I grab at his neck and pull his mouth - and body - back down to mine.

Our tongues duel together in a passionate battle as we simultaneously moan into each other's mouths with each thrust of Edward's hips. I've given up trying to contribute with my own thrusts, and am just losing myself in the pleasure. That ball is tightening more and more and it's so close to exploding, but something holds it back. I don't know what. Edward's muscles have started to shake so I know he's close. I wrench my mouth away, panting manically into the extremely small gap between us; our sweaty foreheads are pressed together. I close my eyes, and a flush of heat adds to my already rosy cheeks as I stutter, "I-I need..."

I don't know what I need, so I can't finish that sentence, but Edward, who's just as inexperienced as me, somehow seems to know. He pulls back to look at my face before releasing my hip to reach down between us. When he starts circling my sensitive bundle of nerves, his thrusts becoming quicker at that exact moment, my breath catches and I'm done for. I throw my head back and tense all over, crying out my pleasure as that tightly wound ball finally explodes, the heat spreading to every nerve ending in my body. I feel Edward bury his head in my neck, but I don't hear anything he's saying because my ears are ringing.

When I finally settle down from my high, my hearing returning to normal, I feel the welcome weight of Edward on top of me and can hear our equally heavy breathing. He raises his head, pecks my lips once, and then pulls himself off of me. When he slips out of me, I sigh at the emptiness, but revel on the next breath as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me to his chest.

I can feel a slight twinge in my ribs and know I'll feel the consequences soon, but right now I can't find it in me to care. "Well," I begin when my breathing has regained some form of normality, "you kept your promise," I say, looking up at him. He looks confused for a second before realisation dawns on him and he laughs breathlessly.

"I did," he agrees. "Twice," he adds, with a waggle of his eyebrows, causing me to blush and laugh.

A/N: I hope this was okay. I'm still a bit apprehensive about writing lemons. It's not as easy as reading them, let me tell ya! Anyway, let me know how you liked it in a review!