A/N: Second and final update for this week! I hope you enjoyed the one from earlier this week. As always, thank you for the follows, favourites and reviews!

I'll Always Find Peace In The Meadow

Chapter Forty-seven: 'the L-word' (Bella POV)

Thursday 13 July 2017

Dinner last night at the Cullens was... awkward, to say the least. Edward was quiet, barely eating the food on his plate. I received glares from a majority of the table's occupants throughout. The only ones to not do so were Mr Cullen and Edward, the latter of which because he hardly glanced up from his plate.

Mrs Cullen didn't speak one word for most of the meal, other than to compliment Jessica on her necklace and Rosalie on her hair. She eventually spoke close to the end of the meal, to me, to ask why my mother decided to take a weeks leave off of work. I didn't have much of an answer, so I just told her the truth. Afterwards, I panicked silently, worrying that my mother hadn't told her boss the real reason she was absent. Maybe she lied and said she was ill?

I found out during that small conversation that my mother has been moved up to the offices instead of the reception desk, and now acts as Mrs Cullen's personal secretary. I had no knowledge of this, and neither did Edward by the way his head snapped up when his mother let it slip. It was one of the very few times he looked up from his plate. I wonder when this new development happened, or even how new it is? Maybe Mrs Cullen did it when she found out about mine and Edward's friendship. I hope she doesn't give Renee a hard time because of her dislike toward me. Not because I worry about Renee's feelings, but more because I know that if it was the case and she ever found out that I'm the reason, I'd be in for a world of pain.

I didn't mange to finish my plate, probably because my body is so used to small-ish portions, and often no food at all when such is given as one of my punishments. My stomach isn't accustomed to the mighty plateful I was given. Mrs Cullen seemed to take it as a personal offense that I didn't finish it all, scoffing loudly when I announced that I was full but thanked them for the meal. For someone who seems to pride herself on her social status - being rich and poised - she doesn't act very cordially to her guests. Well, that's not entirely true. She was extremely pleasant toward the other girls at the table, but not with me. I can't say I'm surprised... just disheartened, because the more she acted so foully with me, the darker Edward's mood got. I don't know if anyone else noticed, but I sure did.

I sat and waited for everyone to finish. Rosalie left more than I did in the end, but she got a jovial, "That's okay, dear. You ate what you could," from Mrs Cullen. I mentally rolled my eyes. Once I saw everyone was finished, I stood and began stacking their plates. It was an act I did completely out of habit; I didn't even think before I began doing it. I always clear away after dinner... at home. It was only once all the plates were stacked and the cutlery placed on top that I noticed all eyes were on me and the room was deadly silent. I immediately apologised for my forwardness and asked for permission to take the plates into the kitchen. Mr Cullen told me that I shouldn't because of my wrist, but when I insisted, Edward stood and said he'd take some to ease the weight off of my load. This clearly irked his mother but his father agreed with a nice enough smile.

His behaviour has confused me greatly. When I first sat down at the table, he asked how I was, making formal conversation. I didn't expect any less or any more; Mr Cullen has always shown more ease at tolerating my unwanted presence than his wife has. He then asked about my wrist and even wanted to look at it while we waited for the food to be brought in. He said it's healing nicely; I didn't let on to just how much pain I'm in, not wanting to admit to the fact that I do a lot of chores which doesn't let me rest it as much as he ordered. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Then the conversation went more formal again. It was actually quite pleasant, not super friendly but not uncomfortable. That was until he asked if Alice's friends and I knew each other, which I thought was a strange question to ask because who doesn't know everyone in Forks? I humoured him, despite the animosity between Rosalie, Lauren, Jessica and myself. I told him we did know each other, that we grew up together in fact. However, they were less nice about it. Their answers were short, clipped variants of "we used to" and Rosalie even muttered "Unfortunately" rather loudly under her breath. Mr Cullen didn't comment on any of our answers and turned to his daughter, who he clearly dotes on (after watching him with her last night, I can see what Edward means about her being his parents' favourite).

As soon as it was permitted for us to leave the table, Edward had our belongings gathered and us out of the house. We went to the Diner for dessert, where his mood gradually lightened until I had him laughing and joking with me, as he should be.

We went our separate ways at 8:15PM; I needed to get home so I could go to bed at a reasonable enough time that would enable me to get up early today with energy to do my chores.

And that's what I'm doing right now - getting ready to do my chores, or more specifically eating breakfast to gain the energy needed for my day of mopping, dusting and window cleaning... inside and out. I hate doing the latter chore. I don't do it as often as the others, but it needs to be done. I've been putting it off for ages.

I sigh as I clean my bowl, spoon and coffee mug. Dressed in my old sweats and baggy t-shirt, which I've had to tie at the waist because of how baggy it really is, I scoop my hair up into a high ponytail so it's out of the way and get cracking.

It's 8:30AM when I start, and 9:00AM when there's a knock at the door. I sigh and place the duster down on the end table in the front room before peering stealthily out the window. I can see Edward's car parked on the side of the road outside my house. What is he doing here?

I quickly jog to the entrance, and after patting at my hair and straightening out my clothes, which I'm now regretting putting on this morning, I unlock and open the door. He smiles when he sees me, and before I can ask the question that entered my mind as soon as I spotted his car outside, he has me pulled into a hug. "Hey," I say at his shoulder before we break apart, "what are you doing here?"

As I ask my question, he has me walking backwards so he can let himself in. He doesn't answer me as he turns and closes the door behind him. He toes off his shoes and shrugs out of his jacket, revealing his kind of old looking clothes. There his IDGAF clothes, like the ones I'm wearing at the moment. He turns to me with a wide smile. "I'm here to help!" he announces happily, arms spread out at either side.

I'm speechless for a while. I have no clue what to say to that. He's here to help? With my chores? In the end, I don't say anything... instead I throw myself at him. It's a totally unplanned move, but he catches me all the same. And again, completely unplanned, I press my mouth to his, showing him how thankful I am with a thorough kiss. It deepens unintentionally and soon I have the closed front door to my back while Edward takes control of our kiss, which is rapidly turning into more.

I could happily lose myself in the passion, but there's a small, very quiet voice in my brain telling me that I have things to do. I pull my head back, laying it against the door as I pant heavily. Edward's lips have already moved down my neck after parting from my own, and I hate my stupid responsibilities as I tug at his hair to get him to stop. He's breathing heavily, too, and his dark green hooded eyes have me wanting to forget all that I have to do and let this lead where it was going, but I can't. I know that. I offer him an apologetic smile as I remove my legs from around his waist - when did that happen? - so I can stand on my own two feet. He sighs as he releases me and steps back slowly.

He releases a breathy, embarrassed chuckle as he rubs a hand down his face. "Sorry. Didn't mean to do that," he says sheepishly.

I shake my head and grin as I take his jacket. "I think, if you recall, I initiated that one." I hang it on the hook that's on the wall by the door.

"Right," he says with another laugh as he follows me into the front room. "So, what's on the agenda today?"

"Mopping, dusting, and unfortunately, window cleaning," I say as I turn to him, all humour now erased from my voice and expression.

"Okay. What do you want me to do?" he asks. I simply stare at him for a few moments, trying to determine just how serious he is about this. When I find no trace of mockery or jokes, when I realise that he is being one hundred percent serious about this, I finally address him and my thoughts on the matter.

"You don't have to help me, Edward. They aren't your chores or your responsibility."

He scoffs, causing me to raise a brow in question. "I think you'll find that it is my responsibility because I am the reason you have extra to do today."

Damn. He wants to help because he feels guilty. Well, I can't have that.

I shake my head and avert my eyes from his vibrant green ones for just long enough to collect my thoughts. "Honestly, it's not much extra. Tuesdays are my least busy day." And this is true. Tuesdays often leave me with more spare time, which is why I work two hours after school on them instead of one like most of the other days of the week. And Tuesday was the day he distracted me. There honestly isn't much left to do from that day.

"I'm not taking no as an answer here, Bella. I'm going to help, with or without your guidance. But be warned, I don't know the first thing about mopping or cleaning windows, so I may create more work for you if you don't accept my help and just tell me what to do yourself." He crosses his arms across his chest, looking ridiculously proud of himself.

I sigh heavily, adding some extra sass to the exhale as I throw him a look of contempt. Inside, however, I'm grinning from ear to ear, secretly enjoying the fact that he is willing to do this for me. "Fine," I say with another forced sigh.

He grins and picks up the duster and can of furniture polish. I silently point to the coffee table and he nods. Before he begins however, he stops and thinks for a moment. After looking around the room, he turns to me and asks, "Do you have a radio or something here?"

"My Bluetooth speaker is upstairs on my desk?" I reply, though it comes out as more of a question than an answer.

"Is it charged?" I nod. "Perfect," he declares, handing me the cleaning products before disappearing from the room. I shake my head with a quiet chuckle to myself as I continue with what I was doing before he arrived. He returns barely two minutes later, focused on my speaker. He leaves it on the window sill, messes with his phone for a moment before putting that down beside it. The recognisable tune of Nickleback's 'Rockstar' begins playing strongly through my little speaker and I raise a questioning brow at Edward, who's taken the items out of my hands as he hums to the song. He looks at me and shrugs one shoulder. "What?" he asks.

"Nickleback? I didn't think rock music would be your kind of thing."

"It isn't usually," he answers with another nonchalant shrug, "but I figured we'd need something with a lively tempo to keep us going. Can't very well clean whilst listening to Moonlight Sonata now, can we? Do you ever listen to music when doing your chores?"

"Not often. There have been a couple times, but they come few and far between." I can hear the sadness in my own voice and I hate it. "It's not something I can openly do when Renee's home," I admit quietly.

"Well," he says, "it's a good thing she's not here then, isn't it?" And with that he winks and begins dusting the wooden coffee table. He's right, she's not here, so I can do what is usually prohibited. With a smile I go to the kitchen to fetch an extra duster and return to the front room to join Edward in cleaning, all the while humming to each song that comes on.

~I*A*F*P*I*T*M~

There's a collective sigh in the room as Edward and I collapse onto the couch in the back room. I told him earlier that the front room is off bounds to me unless I'm cleaning or in there upon Renee's request. He wasn't impressed, but accepted it and hasn't said anything about it since we finished in that room. With all hardwood floors in the house mopped, all wooden surfaced furniture, skirting boards, ceiling vertices and door frames dusted and all windows cleaned inside and out, we are done.

We worked nonstop for hours. We didn't even have a lunch break. I have no idea what the time is, but that's soon not the case. My eyes are closed as I lay back on the couch cushions, my feet stretched out in front of me. Edward is in an identical position but is more fidgety than I am. The reason why is obvious when he breaks the silence, reading the time from his phone which he just fished from his pocket: "It's only one-thirty. Do you want to go get a late lunch at the Diner?"

I turn my face to him without actually lifting my head from the couch. "Sure. But I need to get ready first."

"Why? You're dressed already."

I look at him skeptically, wondering if he's serious for a moment, and then I look down at myself. Yeah, he's definitely not being serious. He can't be.

"Edward, I'm in sweatpants that have a hole in the leg and I'm sweaty and covered in a fine layer of dust. I need to shower and change." I look over him, wrinkling my nose. "And so do you." He looks down at himself and laughs.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he says before heaving a sigh as he stands. He gives me his hand so he can pull me up. "Good thing I brought a spare change of clothes," he says with a wink as he heads for the door.

"Oi!" I exclaim, shocked. He turns to me, faux innocence plastered on his handsome face. "Why did you question me about getting ready to go out if you brought your own change of clothes."

He shrugs and looks me up and down, then smiles at me. "Because you look perfect the way you are. You always do." He leaves me with butterflies having a party in my stomach as well as feeling a mixture of shy and happy as he heads out to his car for his change of clothes.

I sigh contentedly as I head upstairs. I stop at the top and look to the bathroom door that's on my left and then to the right, which would lead me to my bedroom. I then turn to look down the stairs before going back to looking left and right. The decision I come to is made fairly quickly. I reach for the hem of my baggy t-shirt and pull it over my head, dropping it on the top step. I slowly walk into the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind me.

I don't close the door as I start the shower.

~I*A*F*P*I*T*M~

After a late lunch in the Diner, we drove in Edward's car to his house where we then entered the trail that leads us to our meadow. Having anticipated this turn of events, I packed my usual backpack with a blanket and my speaker which still has some charge before we left my house earlier... after a relatively lengthy shower.

We are currently laying on the blanket, soaking up the weak amount of sunlight that's poking through the thick layer of clouds, while Chopin plays from my speaker.

The lack of conversation between us is comfortable, and I think back to a time only months ago when just the thought of him had me angry. He was this annoying, persistent new kid who couldn't seem to take a hint to leave me alone. And now here I lay beside him in my personal sanctuary, something I never dreamed of sharing with anyone. I intimately know every inch of his body and am familiar with the depths of his wonderful personality. Who would have thought.

I open my eyes and turn my head so I can look at him. The butterflies from earlier return in full force. He's in the same position as me, on his back, though he has one arm tucked beneath his head and his face is still skyward, eyes remaining closed. He looks so peaceful. He looks so handsome. I can see the sharpness of his jaw from this angle, the red in his hair thanks to the sunrays, despite their lacking strength. I look over all of him silently, and I smile when I see the fingers of his left hand tapping faintly to the classical music against his jean-clad thigh, his love for this style of music showing even in the simplest of moments.

His passion for music in general is one of the many things I've come to love about Edward.

That's right. I used the L-word.

There's something I realised today. I don't know when exactly, or how, but I know it to be the absolute truth.

I love Edward Cullen. I'm in love with Edward Cullen, my best friend, my mother's boss' son.

I'm in love with my best friend, and I have no cluewhat to do about it.

A/N: *sigh* Love is in the air! I hope you liked this chapter. There will be a time jump between this chapter and the next. Please leave a review and I'll be back next week. Not sure when exactly it will be.