Chapter 6: Feelings Grow
She watched the cut on her hand activate the stone door, trying to keep her expression vacant. Sunday had gone about the way she had expected. She had done a lot of work in the library, seen her friends at meals, and taken a walk in the freezing air desperate to be alone. She had eventually stood by the lake, letting herself think through crazy fantasies.
Despite having time to come to her senses, Ginny had not in the slightest. She knew what they were doing was absolutely mad. She also hadn't felt this good in what felt like ages. She was rather sure Malfoy felt the same way. Still, she couldn't be sure. It was possible he had changed his mind. Realized that there was no reason for him to have to be trapped in a room with her all night. The dungeons were dark enough that if he was here under a disillusionment charm, he was well hidden. Or he could have simply decided not to come.
Just in case, she walked through slowly, staying to one side in case he was coming in too. Making sure not to give anything away to Filch, she walked all the way to her desk, took out a book, and waited for the wall to shut. The last stone clicked back into place and Ginny stopped breathing. Was he here? "You don't actually have homework still, do you?"
Ginny's face broke out into a grin. A grin that she promptly suppressed. Turning her head, she lifted her nose up into the air. "Of course. That was the point of tonight, wasn't it? You helping me with Potions in exchange for last night?"
His shock and bewilderment were too much. She broke into laughter. "It's alright. You can make it up to me another way." She stood up and yanked him towards her, kissing him with wild abandon. She had expected him grabbing her waist and kissing back. She had not expected him to turn them around and then walk her backwards until the back of her knees touched her bed. Throughout all of this, he had not stopped kissing her. She had told herself not to overthink this. That tonight was just about enjoying herself.
She broke away and lay down on her bed, trying very hard to ignore her nerves. Her stomach was tight and uncomfortable. There was a nagging voice in the back of her head that she couldn't quite smother, telling her this was a bad idea. That hadn't she always wanted to save this for her future husband? It was a relief when Malfoy crawled on top of her. With his mouth kissing up and down her neck and his hands going underneath her top, it was much easier to block out the doubts. She shoved his robe off of his shoulders and then yanked at his shirt in order to allow her access to his bare skin. Her own hands were roaming up and down his back, her mouth occupied with his.
She felt a chill as he pulled away from her. She propped herself up on her elbows and found herself simply watching him. He took off his boots and robe, and was now unbuttoning his shirt. She was mesmerized. It wasn't just his body. It was his face. She had never thought him ugly. But she had never thought his face quite so handsome as she did now. She knew she was in trouble. That her hormones must be influencing her mind. And yet, she couldn't seem to care. With the last button undone, he looked over at her, smirking. "Like what you see?" Ginny found herself mirroring his expression and sat up. "Very much." And with that, she launched herself at him and renewed their snogging.
She was now the one on top, and she reveled in it. His shirt was pushed off in seconds, and he tugged her sweater off, tossing it behind them. Her hands could not stay still. She didn't know where the idea had come from. She didn't know how he would react. She went for it. Grabbing his wrists, she shoved them backwards and held them down over his head. There was a moment of shock on both their ends, and then he looked at her with a steady gaze. He was now lying under her, in theory giving her all the power. In reality, she felt anxious and vulnerable. His dark mark was splayed out right in front of her and he wasn't smiling anymore. She knew if he wanted, he could shove her off. He was stronger than her. But he didn't. He only looked at her.
It was supposed to be only physical. It shouldn't matter that he had the dark mark. No new information had been revealed. The war was what it was. And for now, they were only two students. Two teenagers that had both grown up in the wizarding world with loving parents and wanted to keep their world safe for their own, future children. Leaning down, Ginny kissed him and they both felt the significance. For now, they were choosing each other. It was voluntary and for no other reason than they wanted each other.
Her staying on top didn't last long. He rolled them over, and then grabbed her wrists to put them in exactly the same position she had put his. "Now this feels right." She didn't know if this counted as a weakness, but she had to agree with him. She had no idea how much she would like seeing him looming over her like this. She began wiggling under him, needing to feel some sort of friction. His mouth twitched, and then he leaned down to kiss her again. He managed to shift his grip so that he was holding both wrists with one hand, while his other hand slid under her bra.
She didn't know how long they had been at it. It felt like no time at all, and at the same time it felt as if an eternity had passed. Kisses were getting more frantic and both of them had hands roaming and grabbing the other's body. Ginny was squirming under him, feeling hot and wet. She had helped him get her bra off and he had kicked his trousers off, feeling too confined to be comfortable. She knew they were getting close to sex. He knew they were getting close to sex. And neither was pulling away. He got up on his knees and began pulling her bottoms off. He was tugging everything off in one go, leaving her exposed and naked. Ginny took the opportunity to grab the vial on her end table and take a sip.
"Ready?" Ginny looked over at him and nodded. She knew she needed to relax. Relax and trust him. She couldn't have anticipated what he did next though. Her eyes widened and she moaned. His fingers were down there, moving in and out and around in ways that made her buck her hips in pleasure. She gasped as he hit one particularly sensitive spot and heard herself breathlessly call his name. She dimly realized she had called him by his first name, but she didn't feel any embarrassment about it. If she couldn't call him Draco when his fingers were buried in her, when could she?
And then the pleasure became uncomfortable. He was stretching her too much. She winced and opened her eyes to look at what he was doing. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking down there. Ginny flushed and made an effort to close her thighs. Knowing she was naked was different than watching him look at her there. Who knew what it looked like? She didn't have the foggiest, and it was her body. He noticed her legs trying to close and glanced up. "Just relax. I'll go slow." Oh. That's what he was stretching her for. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to get every muscle in her body to loosen. She could hear him moving, but kept her eyes closed, focusing on staying calm. This didn't have to hurt. She knew there was a muscle down there. Draco was going to be pushing through it. She just couldn't be tense.
She could feel his erection pressing against her folds. She could hear him breathing above her. And then he started rocking. Nice and slow. She opened her eyes and found his, focusing on the bright silver colour. His hands were braced on either side of her. She began rocking with him, matching his rhythm, loving the feel of him between her thighs. Teasing her folds. Teasing her entrance. And then suddenly he was in. He paused for a second, and then continued his slow rocking when Ginny didn't cry out. It had been a shock. Uncomfortable at first. But not horribly painful. More like a pinch. She continued to rock with him, finding each time eased the discomfort a little more. And then it began to feel wonderful. She could feel him in her. His dick was in her. She felt giddy. She felt strange. But most of all she felt satisfied. This was pleasant and lovely. Not horrible and painful like she had feared.
Just as she was getting accustomed to it, he began to quicken his pace and Ginny found she couldn't keep up anymore. She gasped as his thrusts seemed to grow more powerful. He was going deeper and the spots he was hitting inside of her had her moaning, intense sparks of pleasure racing through her. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, clenching around him as if he were an anchor in the sea of sensations she was experiencing. His hands had moved to hold her wrists down as he thrust hard enough that her body moved up the mattress. She cried out, certain she had never physically experienced something so wonderful. She could feel pressure building in her as he continued to thrust quickly. And then it was over.
He had let go of her wrists and collapsed on top of her, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. She lay there for a minute, unable to think much about anything other than how happy she was right then. He had felt amazing. Her body felt amazing. He was amazing. Eventually, she realized she was getting cold. Their bodies had both been so heated from sex that their skin was sticky with sweat. Now though, it only made the dungeon air feel even more chilly than normal. She shifted and Malfoy groaned. "Draco?" She didn't know she would say his first name. But it felt right when she did.
"Hmm?" She smiled. She couldn't help it. He sounded exhausted. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll be right back." He made some sound of assent, and rolled off of her, grabbing for a pillow that he promptly stuffed under his head. She couldn't help but continue to smile. She had never imagined she'd feel this way. She wanted to do it again. Hell, she wanted to do it every night! As it turned out, the shower had been a great idea. Not just for alleviating the cold. She was worried at first, realizing her thighs were wet and sticky. She knew blood was a possibility. She did not know about whatever this other stuff was. Semen maybe? Is that what it looked like? But then she figured it must be normal and she was able to wash it all away. She came out feeling warm and ready to curl up in bed. She brushed her teeth and brushed her hair, before looking at herself in the mirror. Did she look any different? Logically, she knew she shouldn't. It was daft to expect it. Still, she felt as if she should. She was no longer a virgin. And she had decided to lose it with Draco Malfoy of all people.
She pulled on her Chuddley Canons shirt, and then crawled back into bed. Draco turned around at the movement and Ginny had a strong urge to cuddle him. Was that weird? She didn't think so. They had just done something much more intimate after all. Still, she was nervous. She inched over just a bit, trying to gauge his reaction. His eyes narrowed as he watched her, and Ginny immediately stopped, stiffening slightly. "You alright?" She nodded and then took a breath. Was she really still worried about him rejecting her? She felt ridiculous. "Erm, would you mind just…" He began to smile slightly. "Just holding you? Yeah, alright. Come here."
He lay on his back and held his arm out, letting her scoot into his side and place her head on his chest. Then his arm came up and around to hold her in place. She beamed. It was that feeling again. That strange, illogical feeling that as long as he was holding her, she was safe. They stayed silent for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, Ginny broke it. "You know, I feel as if I should be mad at Magic Miss for making me think the first time was going to be horrible." Draco laughed, and then smirked. "Maybe I'm just better than the average wizard." Ginny secretly agreed with that statement, but she only rolled her eyes. "Of course. Although I'm rather certain you only got that way by reading every filthy magazine you could get your hands on."
He shrugged. "Well maybe. There are quite a few that make the rounds. You ought to be grateful for them though. I'd have been going in blind otherwise." Ginny knew he had told her yesterday that he had barely gotten further than she had with previous relationships. It was still nice to be reminded of it though. "Yeah, me too. Technically, mum had the talk with me but it was pretty vague. The summer before my fifth year she found out I was dating Dean and told me, what was it? "Boys can get very excited sometimes and touch you in places that aren't decent. If he tries to touch you or have you touch him, leave. They don't always think with their brains and if you let them, they'll do far more than touch." Like I hadn't already learned what sex was."
He grinned. "And are you going to follow her advice?" His hand had reached over to touch her in a place that was certainly not decent. Ginny squirmed, and before she knew it, he had gotten up to straddle her. "My, my. What do we have here? No bra? No knickers?" She bucked as he used one hand to twist her nipple and the other to finger her.
"You know what my mother said?" Ginny made some unintelligible noise, and moaned as his fingers brushed something outside of her entrance. "I was only thirteen. The house elf found the magazine in my room and informed mother about it. Apparently. She told me that any urges I was having better not be explored before I was ready to be a father and a husband. That if she found out I had compromised any girl's reputation, I would be fully responsible for her." Ginny continued to moan as Draco had figured out to focus on that spot. He stopped talking as he realized she was in her own world, and instead focused on the girl underneath him.
Ten minutes later, she was cuddled back into him, trying to convince herself that thanking him for sex was not appropriate. She didn't know what he had done exactly, but her body was still throbbing with it. "Draco? When this is all over, if you end up surviving, what do you want to do?" He stared at her for a long time before answering. She didn't mind the wait. She felt as if she could stay cuddled into him like this for hours.
"Maybe potions? I like it, and there's always a need for brewers." She stared up at him, and then frowned. Pushing off his chest, she sat up and crossed her arms. "No you don't. Not that much. You're only thinking of going into brewing to avoid danger. It's not political, it's away from the action, and everyone you supply to will think you're on their side." He shot up, and stared at her with his mouth open. "How did you figure that out?"
Ginny shrugged. "I have been in the same school as you for over five years. You're not some quiet academic who would be content to work in isolation. You're a leader by nature. You like people listening to you, following you. You're loud, and obnoxious, and full of ideas. You'd be much more suited for the Ministry. Making deals, throwing your weight around. You'd love it. Legislator maybe?"
He frowned. "I'll have you know I am very academic, and I worked alone all last year." She raised her eyebrows at that, and tilted her head. "Fulfilling, was it? Made you happy, made you wish for more projects?" His expression turned into something slightly frightening. "Weasley, you know I hated that project, and you know why." She shrugged her shoulder and tried to feign indifference. She was not letting him know she was scared. "Fine. Imagine if fixing the cabinet was just a normal project. You had a boss that wanted it fixed, and figuring out how to do it was your full time job all year. To do it all by yourself, in your little area. Would you enjoy your work? Yearn to come to the office so you could keep chipping away at the challenge of it?" He was glaring at her. "No."
She nodded and continued on. "Now, imagine a cauldron. Just you and the cauldron. All day, every day. You do produce some potions by the book. It's very step by step and routine. But then of course you have to experiment a little. Find out how to alter it just right to fit your customers' needs. A lot of mess, a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, you even injure yourself. And it's all for others." He was glowering at her, but she was getting into it now.
"And then the customers! Oh, the customers are wonderful at small talk and love chatting about their lives. Of course, you have those who are going to argue about price. Claim their batch wasn't good quality and demand refunds. Some might want a potion that's impossible to brew. Or maybe.." He snapped. "Fine! I would hate it. But if it's the best way to protect myself, I'd manage."
She just nodded. "And you?" Honestly, she tried not to think about it too much. She was taking a number of NEWTS this year as a way to keep her options open. Just in case. But actually talking about her future seemed idiotically optimistic. "Well, it's sort of far-fetched. But after all this, I'd probably only want to do something I absolutely loved." He continued to stare at her and Ginny relented, a small smile poking out. "Quidditch. I'd play Quidditch." He didn't laugh at her like she was half-expecting him to. Instead he narrowed his eyes.
"Bit dangerous, isn't it?" Ginny shrugged. It was. And as loathe as she was to admit it, women had a disadvantage. There was simply no way to out strengthen the men. The best women players relied on being quick and strategic. Even then it was tough. Never mind being a beater. Even as a chaser or keeper, the men threw the ball harder and faster than a woman could. "I'd still want to give it a shot, I think. Then maybe retire young, start a family." She had only ever told one other person all this, and it had not gone well. Over the summer, Ginny had mentioned her dreams to Hermione who had been nearly scandalized.
Hermione knew next to nothing about Quidditch, but she knew a woman would likely not make much money playing it. Apparently it was a similar situation in the muggle world. And then, hearing that Ginny intended to be a stay at home mother, Hermione had been incredibly concerned that Ginny was setting up to be destitute. Ginny had angrily informed her that she wasn't planning to marry a lay about, thank you very much, and Hermione had gone quite still. She then asked Ginny if she meant to rely on her future husband to provide the income, and had not seemed to understand Ginny's simple answer of yes.
The whole thing had left Ginny feeling attacked, and she never did figure out what Hermione's problem had been. "Well, if you're serious you should practice during your free periods. Quidditch practice once a week isn't going to get you there." She knew he was right. But there was only so much she could do on her own. What she really wanted to practice was being a chaser. But with no one trying to take the ball from her? No one to throw or catch with? No one to defend the goal hoops? It seemed a bit ridiculous.
"See if you can get Pucey to fly with you." She made a face. Pucey was the Slyhterin captain this year, and by far the best flyer on their team. He was also incredibly short tempered. "Why aren't you playing this year? It would be loads better than having to fly against Rettler." Without Malfoy playing, Rettler had apparently been the next best thing. Which was a bit sad. Rettler was a fourth year whose entire strategy involved following her around, and then shouting for his beaters when she spotted the snitch. In theory, he'd be able to grab the snitch while she dodged bludgers. In practice, Ginny grabbed the snitch after dodging them and wrapping up the game before Rettler was within 50 meters of it.
He hadn't answered her, other than to shrug. She grinned, and swung herself onto his lap. "Rejoin the team. They won't say no; you know they won't." He frowned, but she didn't let that phase her. "Come on, Malfoy. You can't convince me you wouldn't love to show off. Have half the school cheering for you. You miss it." He looked at her and then got a dangerous glint in his eye.
"Fine. But if I rejoin Quidditch, you have to cheer for me." Ginny narrowed her eyes and then pursed her lips. "Fine." Honestly, she didn't care. It wasn't as if she had any connections to the Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw seekers. He didn't need to know that though. She was more than willing to let him believe she was making a big sacrifice with this. "You're lucky you're so fit." And then she kissed him, sparking a whole new round of touching and snogging.
Neither of them knew when they managed to get to sleep. Ginny was careful to set an alarm though, not willing to take any chances.
The morning came much too soon. Ginny grappled for her wand, shut the alarm off, and didn't move. "You use the toilet first." Even if it gave her only two extra minutes, she would take it. She heard movement from the other side of the bed, heard the bathroom door close, and smiled. Extra two minutes it was then. Or so she thought. It couldn't have been 30 seconds later that her covers were snatched away and she whined as the cold hit her. "Come on. I'm not dragging you out of bed." She sat up sulking. Her extra minutes had passed without her realizing. Malfoy was already standing, hair combed, and half-dressed. He had brought everything in his bag last night, and she was struck by how well he had prepared for this. Figures that he was organized and a planner.
She stared at him and wondered what she ought to do. Just brush past him? Kiss him good morning? Pull him back into bed and see what they could do in five minutes? "I know I'm mesmerizing to look at, but you really are running short on time." Brush past it was. She had gotten out of bed and was walking past him when she felt his hand grab her ass and squeeze. A shot of desire ran right through her. She looked back at him, an open question in her eyes. Was he up for something quick? He tilted his head and smacked her butt. "Don't tease. Go. This wall is supposed to open in four minutes." At the reminder, she raced into the bathroom, peed, and then ran for her clothes. The wall opened with her still trying to dress. She panicked, but she needn't have. Draco grabbed her shoes, tie, vest, and robe off of the floor, and went out. Picking up her satchel, she trailed after him in socks.
"I don't know how you don't get stuck behind this wall every morning." Honestly, she wasn't sure either. It was a bit of a miracle some mornings. She finished buttoning her shirt and reached for her tie. As he handed it to her, he didn't let go forcing her to look up. "I'm heading up. I'll catch you later." She felt a pain in her chest at his words, and was disgusted. She was not going to be clingy for Merlin's sake. She had never been clingy. In fact, she distinctly remembered her and Dean fighting because she wasn't, and he had wanted her to be.
"Sure." He tugged at the tie a little more, forcing her to stumble forward a step, and then kissed her before letting go of the tie and walking away. She stood there watching him go, before realizing what she was doing and shaking her head. She didn't know how she was ever going to forget last night. She was pretty sure he had just ruined any other guy for her. Still, she didn't regret it.