Chapter 3: The Tablet
Dot
To say the cycle was busy would be an understatement. Five games brought the diner construction to a halt and put the residents on high alert. Hexadecimal was unusually interactive outside of Lost Angles, wreaking havoc everywhere she pranced under the guise of spreading love, joy and nulls. And Megabyte had slowly been gaining ground back, re-infecting 7 blocks in G-Prime that Bob had liberated.
It wasn't all bad, though. Phong had a surprise visit from family… which surprised everyone else. Thirty grandkids populated the Principal Office, dramatically changing from the control center to daycare. Enzo was practically living on the Cloud, sleeping over every single second with AndrAIa and the ten new kids his age. It was a blessing for Dot as the project kept her out long microseconds into the night.
The cycle ended with a surprise storm, the skies parting with brutal force. Liters of water poured onto the recently delivered insulation, and workers scrambled to cover the material. Most was saved, but more would need to be ordered. As for any more construction that second, it was a wash. She signaled George to call it a night.
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Matrix, I had no idea the weather-!"
She shook her head. "No one saw this coming. Everyone's frustrated, it's been a long cycle. Let's salvage what we can and come back with a plan to fix everything in two seconds. Sound good?"
He nodded. "I promise we'll get you back on schedule, or no bill."
"And I'm gonna hold you to that," Dot waved her finger at him. She helped close the diner and cover all open areas before heading back to her apartment. Though the rain was cold and hit hard enough to sting, she walked it home. She shivered but it cleared her head and cooled her blood. Construction was behind - so ridiculously behind - and she hated when things didn't go according to schedule. That was supposed to be her bread and butter, schedule and execution. Without them, she was lost. She needed tonight to relax but realized she didn't know what to do. She didn't schedule any relaxation in. So, how was she going to execute that?
The absurdity of the comment hit her like a bolt. She laughed so almost tripped into a puddle. It wasn't really that funny, she knew that. But the stress was ebbing out in whatever way it could. So, who cared if she looked crazy? At least she'd be sane by the time she got home.
When she got in the door, she stood for a good five nanos and dripped most of the excess water into the front mat. "Enzo? You home?" Her voice echoed back to her and she checked her messages. "Cartoon-a-thon! Took the popcorn, hope that's okay, love you." Dot smiled. "PS, Diner looks great." She rolled her eyes and sent him a quick note, making sure he stayed in until the storm passed.
A hot bath and green tea beckoned to her as she shivered, and she made quick work in preparing both. On her way to the tub, her eyes caught the box. "Ah." She pulled out her diary thumb drive and set up the player to her MePad. She settled into the tub and pressed play, nearly choking on the hot liquid as a picture of her covered in her mother's make up filled the screen. She looked like a clown, a very proud one. Dot laughed as she watched her younger self apply make up on her cat while she slept. The whole time, six-hour old Dot was explaining her technique to the camera. It was her first instructional video, followed by the first of many video diaries she made as a child.
Dot nearly cried with laughter when her mother found her. The look on her face, especially after Dot tried to give the cat a shaved head, was just too much. Dot was so happy she got it on tape - though she would delete before she let anyone else see it. Enzo's boundless energy suddenly made sense as she watched herself jump from one activity to the next, never seeming to need a breath.
The water was cold by the time the tape came to an end. She changed into a spaghetti strap top and long pants, checked on the never-ending storm, and looked at the stack of datapads on her desk. Each one indicated a problem with the renovation, and each needed corrective action before Monday.
Pouring a glass of red wine and plugging in Labyrinth as background noise, she kicked her feet up and began processing each deficiency. The spattering of the rain and occasional crash of thunder helped her relax, while the droning of the characters on the video created a comfortable white noise. Her focus put her in a near trance, the world simplified to problems and corrections. She was halfway through the stack when the silence hit her. Blinking with sudden awareness, she glanced up toward the window, the rain hitting hard against the pane.
Then she heard a soft giggle. She sat up at her desk. "AndrAIa? Enzo, are you home?"
"Hey there. It's just me." Another giggle. "Soo, do I have a story for you."
Dot's heart pounded, and she reached for the bat hidden behind her couch. She scanned the entire room, the kitchen and bedroom, but saw nothing. Her eyes moved to her desk where the voice sounded louder.
"… what happened to me tonight. I think… I think I fell in love." Dot looked at the MePad, and her eyes widened. She sat down and brought the tablet closer, staring in surprise as her "Punk Phase"-self spoke quietly into the camera.
The teenaged Dot with rainbow hair was lying face down on her bed and grinning like the cat who caught the mouse. She twirled her bangs between her fingers and rolled her eyes. "I know, that's so stupid and sappy, right? The two things I promised myself I'd never be, and here I am, laying it bare to Mainframe!" She covered her mouth and giggled, looking quickly to the right before whispering again to the camera. "But it's true. And it's just like those silly little fairy tales. You know, love at first sight? Tonight, I'm Juliet, and I was wooed by Romeo." Her head dropped into the sheets and she giggled again.
"What… the Dell…" Dot sat down in her chair and reached for her wine. She watched the video with a mix of amusement and disbelief, having no recollection of what she was talking about. And her behavior was off the wall, making Dot wonder just what her younger self had gotten into that night.
"No, not wooed," she scrunched her nose. "I was saved." She stared off somewhere in the distance, her tone soft and serious. "I was in trouble. I didn't mean to be. I just… wasn't thinking straight." She looked at the camera, her eyes suddenly much older than they should have been in her young face. "Haven't been for a while, not since Dad died. But you already know that."
Dot swallowed. "Yeah, I know," she said softly.
"And I got mixed up with the wrong guy. I won't say his name, because I'd rather just forget. I don't know if I will. Hard to forget something like that."
"Apparently not," she muttered.
"It doesn't matter though. The right guy came along. Zipped me up, up and away, and I'm still flying." She smiled so big, throwing her whole body into her elation, and she almost rolled off the bed with her happiness. She righted and giggled, blushing at her own silliness.
"Oh, my User, I'm drunk." Dot put her hand over her eyes, like it would make the whole thing just disappear. The girl continued to giggle, trying hard to get herself under control, and Dot took a sip while trying not to laugh with her.
"I never want to come back down. Want to know why?" Teen Dot looked up under her bangs, something alluring in her violet eyes. It was as if she was beckoning her viewers to come closer.
Dot did just that. She was captivated by her younger self, who seemed so open, something Dot just didn't do. She smiled as she sipped her wine, intrigued.
"One word." She lifted her finger up, lips pressing almost instantly against the digit. "One word and I'll never be the same again." Teen Dot blushed and licked her lips. Her voice dropped into a purr. "Bob."
The wine sprayed over the tablet.
"It's crazy. All this because of one sprite. I had no idea - this must have been what Mom was trying to tell me on her anniversary, what being in love felt like. It's… incredible! I feel warm all over, like every part of me is full of high voltage. Everything is electric... and it's wonderful. From the moment he had me in his arms…" She stopped and looked down at the covers, her face turning pink in all the right places. She looked adorable. The perfect picture of true love, reliving the moment when Cupid's arrow pierced her heart.
Dot stared in disbelief. "Wha…?" Her mind raced, trying to understand what the girl was talking about - and it hit her like a lightning bolt. She fell back against her chair with a full-bodied laugh. "The explosion! Of course!"
She paused the video as she caught her breath. She chuckled at her younger self, though she knew it wasn't funny at the time. She'd been devastated, and she had to be strong for both Enzo and herself. Still, it made perfect sense. There were a lot of things she couldn't recall after the explosion, selective memory blocking out the worst moments to protect the heart. But she didn't forget when Bob arrived, that strange sprite appearing the same time her father disappeared forever. She'd blamed him, and he comforted her, at a loss for words yet too kind to turn her away.
She must have made the tape that night. She just couldn't remember after the gravity of her loss. She could have done something foolish, like break into her Dad's liquor cabinet. It wouldn't have been the first time, when she'd been unwilling to turn down a dare from her friends. Maybe she'd done it again, to ease the pain. And to avoid thinking of Dad, she focused on Bob.
She stood up and emptied her glass, shaking her head. "Guess I loved him a lot longer than I thought." But it didn't really surprise her. She stepped in the kitchen for a refill, searching for that moment she saw Bob as something more. Nothing stood out. It was almost like it'd just always been there.
Always there and unrequited. She took a long drink and topped off her glass, washing away the dull ache with ripened berries and an undertone of oak. She returned to her desk, kicked up her feet, and settled in to finish the rest of her monologue.
Teen Dot took a breath and looked up toward the sky, smiling so wide her face must have hurt. "…this crazy feeling hasn't stopped. It's a constant stream of fire and ice. Everything's magnified… the sights, the smells, the touch… it's unreal! And I had to tell you because I'm afraid it's a dream. The most wonderful, beautiful, amazing dream I've ever had. I don't think I'll ever feel anything like this again."
She snorted. "That's a bit dramatic."
"So, I didn't want to forget. I have this bad feeling that this will never come again. He's going to leave, and I'll stay. And then I'll have to move on. But I don't have to forget. I want to remember everything. Every smile. Every touch. Every kiss."
Dot sat up straighter.
"The way he looked when he whispered," she sighed and smiled, "I love you."
Her heart pounded. A buzz filled her head, static breaking into the clear picture of her perfectly organized life. Reality was hurtling into chaos, a train wreck she couldn't stop.
"And… remember this." The camera moved, crumpled bed sheets dancing in the camera's soft light. She stretched quietly along her bed and adjusted the camera. Dot's image came back into view - and she wasn't alone.
The wine glass dropped from her limp fingers, red liquid bleeding into the carpet. Static roared, drowning out the thundering of her heart, the gasp escaping her lips. Everything faded around her, except the image of Bob in her bed.
He lay on his back, chest bare down to the waist, face relaxed in sleep. Teen Dot watched him, blushing. She gave the camera one quick look, the loveliest smile on her young face. Then, she leaned down and brushed her lips against his. He stirred instantly, responding to her touch. His mouth followed as she pulled back with a gasp. He lost contact and settled back into the pillows, still asleep. She moved carefully over him, straddling his legs. She smiled, caressed her lips across his chest, and turned the camera off.
The Goblin King jumped back on the screen, dancing around the ballroom and singing. Dot stared at the movie but didn't see it. She saw the kiss. That quick, gentle, loving kiss. She saw him reaching for her, wanting more. She saw her own face, ready and willing to give. And he took it. He took it all.
He took her.
The room spun as her thoughts raced, faster and faster until she thought she'd pass out. What had she done? Why couldn't she remember? Why didn't he tell her? Did he remember?
She gasped at the memory of the kiss in front of the diner. The look on his face, the need to get away from her… he must have remembered. He remembered, and he hated what they'd done.
He regretted her.
She cried out, arms wrapping around her stomach as she doubled over. The one thing she'd wanted so much, to know he felt the same way she did. She wanted him there, to explain, to make things right, to comfort-
No! The longing for him sickening her. Her hands tightened around her waist, fingers digging into the skin like talons. Jaw clenched and eyes screwed tight, her body coiled like a snake ready to strike at a predator. Anger seeped into her stomach, burning hot as battery acid, until it boiled over into a full-blown fury. After everything she'd done for him, after all the hours of friendship, after the trust she'd placed in him to care for her and Enzo…
Why? Why?! WHY?!
'... he whispered I love you...' Then why did he lie? Why did he keep lying?!
Why don't you ask him?
Dot froze. She looked up at the tablet, the heroine and villain facing off in a world of winding staircases, no way of knowing up from down. She slid the progress bar back enough to see her blushing face, the chaste kiss, and Bob's reaction; so different from the kiss that night in front of the diner - and Dot could hear his request echoing in her memory. "I would do anything for you… you are my best friend. But I can't be anything more than that. Please don't ask me why..."
No, she wouldn't ask him. She ripped her jacket from the wall and stalked out the door, the tablet clutched tightly in her hand; down into the empty streets, heedless of the storm, uncaring of the wind that chilled her to the bone. She broke into a run, slippered feet slapping against the cold pavement. Water splashed up against her pants and soaked them through.
The wine coursed through her, fueling the fire in her belly that drove away all reason. Her heart throbbed with anger and betrayal, forcing her to run faster, to confront him and put an end to the questions plaguing her.
Rain drizzled against her fevered skin. It mirrored her reality: running rivulets of colors melting together, nothing clear or solid anymore. Everything blended in confusion. She ran until her lungs burned and her throat was raw. And then she was there, the apartments looming up out of the darkness before her. She glared up at the top apartment, as if the heat of her stare could recall the memories that abandoned her.
The storm picked up, icy sheets beating down with stinging pressure, death by a thousand needles. She shivered uncontrollably but was too lost in her raging thoughts to care. Images flashed, questions tumbled, her heart pounded, and her teeth clenched. What happened?
'...I want to remember every moment… I love you…' That kiss…
Then shoved her away at the diner. The one kiss she did remember tainted by the one she didn't. But he did. He must have, because he lied. Over and over and over, he lied; the sprite she thought she knew, thought she loved. Her hand tightened on the tablet.
"Dot?"
She turned. A blurry shape ran through the rain. Who would be basic enough to go running in this kind of weather? She realized the irony and laughed bitterly. It made her dizzy, her shivering body protesting its treatment and buckling under her.
"Dot!" Water splashed and she smacked against solid heat. Through soaked bangs she saw a face hidden beneath a hoodie. She blinked, and the face became Bob's. He was holding her up, the warmth of his hands burning her icy skin. She tried to pull away, staring at those hands in disdain, and realizing for the first time her arms were bare. The soaked jacket still hung uselessly in her hand. She didn't even care.
"User, you're freezing! What are you doing out here?"
Any other time, her heart would have skipped at the concern in his voice. Now, it just left her heart cold as her skin. His hand lifted her chin, raising her eyes to his, and she recoiled at the touch. His eyes flashed with surprise and hurt. It made her feel good.
"Dot, what happened?"
Yes, Bob. What happened? "I can't remember," she answered, her voice raw from the pain and the run. She glared up at him with accusing eyes. "Why can't I remember?"
Bob stared at her for a long nano, trying to process her cryptic and angry answer. An icy wind whipped past them, making Dot shiver violently. He pulled the jacket from her stiff fingers and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Let's get inside." He huddled over her, his body taking the worst of the wind and stinging rain.
Dot allowed herself to be guided to his apartment, her mind searching desperately for any inkling of a memory of that night - and coming up blank. She gripped the tablet against her chest, clinging to the only evidence that something had happened. And this time, Bob wasn't going to get a pass.
No matter how much the truth would hurt.