A/N: This is my shortest chapter in a while. I'll be updating again tomorrow, so hopefully that makes up for it. I won't say much here. See you at the bottom :)

I'll Always Find Peace In The Meadow

Chapter Fifty: 'possible repercussions' (Bella POV)

Monday 11 September 2017

The smile on my face is unbreakable from the moment I wake up. It's as bright as the sun shining through my bedroom window - albeit low sun; it is September after all. It's probably a bit chilly out there, too, but that doesn't matter. Nothing can spoil my good mood today.

I'm even more delighted when I look out of my bedroom window and see that Renee's car is already gone. She's not here! If it's at all possible, my smile widens. I'm in danger of straining my face muscles, but I can't help it.

I sing loudly while I shower. I hum to a random tune as I pour myself a bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice. I even have a smile on my face as I make my mother's bed. I tap my foot to an imaginary beat as I browse my wardrobe for something to wear.

I'm in a contagiously good mood, ultimately because... I'm loved. I have a boyfriend and I'm loved! I'm in love with and loved by Edward. He loves me! I still can't quite believe it. He. Loves. Me. Me! Not the devil duo who so obviously like him. Not Rosalie Hale, who everyone seems to love because she's the mayor's daughter. No one but me.

I sigh in blissful content as I pull the clothes I've chosen to wear today from their hangers and drawers and get dressed. He loves me, and he wasn't afraid to tell me. I feel like doing a girly squeal and jumping up and down. Actually, you know what...

. . .

Once I've finished my uncharacteristic celebration, I grab my bag, make sure all that I need is in it, and head downstairs. It's not long before I'm driving away from my house, still with a ridiculously large grin on my face. I chanced looking at myself in the mirror when I was getting ready; I look crazed! I understand the term crazy in love now.

As I drive to school, I hum Beyonce's song 'Crazy In Love'.

I look for Edward's car as I pull into the school's parking lot. I don't have to look for long because barely thirty seconds after I've turned my engine off, his car glides into the empty space beside me and my smile stretches further.

We still have a little under fifteen minutes before we have to be in class. We both arrived earlier than we usually do, and at that thought, mentally my smile grows - it's not physically possible for it to actually grow any more; I'm maxed out. He must have been as eager to see me as I am to see him. His smile is just as large as mine as he stands from his car. I quickly climb out of my truck and walk as calmly as I can around the bonnet of his car to get to him.

As soon as I'm close enough, I reach out for his hand. My hand doesn't quite meet it's desired destination, however, because Edward, noticing my clear intention, quickly shoves his hands into the pockets of his dark denim jeans as he looks around us, scoping out the teenagers still in the parking lot - which is a lot, considering the time for getting to class is nearing ten minutes now.

I quickly retract my outstretched hand, but don't look around like he does. My eyes are fixed firmly on his face, and that smile I've been wearing all morning, the one that I was sure was indestructible, vanishes. Just like that. Gone.

When Edward returns his wary gaze to mine, I instantly want to drop my eyes to the floor, not sure of all that I'm feeling but knowing that I don't want to meet his eyes and let him see the strong mix of hurt and dejection and confusion. Like I said, I'm not sure of all that I'm feeling right now. However, I remain strong, at least I think so, and hold eye contact with him.

He looks like someone ran over his puppy as he stares at me, not a single trace of that smile we shared before he rejected me. Why, Edward? TELL ME! And as if he heard my silent plea, he starts to explain. "I... I should have said this yesterday, but I don't think we should broadcast our relationship just yet," he says quietly as he leans closer so no one else can hear his words.

"Oh," is my intellectual response, "...okay." The tone of my voice does nothing to hide my hurt and a little bit of anger, but I hate that because the look on his face changes to not only seem like someone ran over his puppy, but like someone also flushed his goldfish down the toilet.

Like someone just told him they want to keep you a secret... oh wait, no, that was me.

"I'm sorry," he says, and I can't deny the fact that he is sincere in his apology. Doesn't take away the sting though. "I just… I think it would be best to keep it between us for a while longer," he says.

"Yeah, no. No, don't apologise. It's fine. It's totally fine," I says, hastening to lower my gaze to the floor. I caved into my instincts, which were telling me to hide. I keep my eyes downcast and nod like I understand, before shaking my head imperceptibly so my hair, which I'd tucked behind my ear after parking my truck, creates a shield around me.

Bella?" he asks quietly. I can feel his eyes on me. I'm stubborn and don't look up. "Bella, will you look at me? Please?" I sigh and slowly raise my head, schooling my features as I do so. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You're right," I say, even though I don't know what the hell I'm saying. "We shouldn't tell anyone." I avert my eyes from his sad looking, worried, guilty gaze for a long ten second count, not wanting the tears burning at my eyeballs to show. I manage to fight them off and, after thinking for another five or six seconds, the silence between us the loudest thing in the still partially full parking lot, I look back at his face. "Why shouldn't we tell anyone?"

Edward rubs at the back of his neck and looks away, his entire aura screaming how uncomfortable my question has made him. "Well, I just want to be able to enjoy us a little longer. Some people won't like it and I don't want to have to deal with all the hassle just yet."

"Who wouldn't-" I begin to question but then ding, I understand. Not fully - I thought he was past caring what they thought - but I understand a bit more now. "Oh. Your parents," I say like it's the most obvious of answers.

"Yeah," he replies, briefly looking at me to offer me a shameful tilt of his lips, before dropping his gaze to the floor, using my tactics.

"Okay. That makes sense… I guess." But even as I say this, all I can think is, does it? Does it really make sense? Because although I know of the troubles he has with his parents, shouldn't he love me enough to want everyone to know? Like I love him? Or maybe him not wanting to tell anyone just yet shows that he really does love me enough? It makes some sense, him wanting to keep me to himself in peace for a little while. Doesn't it?

Oh, I'm so confused. I don't know what to think. I can't make heads or tails of what I should and should not be feeling right now. All I know is what I do feel: confused and hurt and slightly angry. But mostly bitter at our circumstances. Stupid snobby stuck up no good-

"Bella?" his wary but quiet call of my name brings me out of my head and into the present, where I don't want to be right now.

"Um, I just remembered, I have a book I need to returm to the library before first class." It's a lame excuse to get away because I don't have a library book that needs returning. I know it and he knows it. But he pretends like it's the truth, probably feeling as confused as I am right now. At least I'm assuming so.

"Okay, I'll come with you," Edward says, stepping toward me. I take a hasty, stumbling step backwards.

"No, you don't have to. There's no need. I'll see you later," I say as I step back a couple more steps. Then I turn and walk briskly away from him, feeling a harrowing moment of déjavu as I leave Edward calling my name from behind me.

He stops shouting when he notices, at around the same time I do, that his hollering is garnering much unwanted attention. And to make matters worse, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Tyler, Lauren, and Jessica all stand by the double doors that allow entrance into the school. For heavens sake. I am really not in the mood.

"Having a lovers tiff, are we, Isabella?" Lauren taunts as I approach the doors.

"Fuck off," is my curt response as I am about to pass them. The gasps that follow my reply aren't just from the group that were on the receiving end of it.

"How dare you talk to me like that!" Lauren shouts as I pass the group. I ignore her, which angers her, and her unbiological twin, further.

Nails dig into the skin of my arm as a hand wraps around it, attempting to pull me to a stop. "Oi, bitch! Don't ignore us when we-"

Jessica's words are interrupted by my fist as it connects with her face. My hand is left with a pleasant ache as hers releases my arm. Chaos then ensues. Jessica screams bloody murder as the rest of the group, as well as onlookers, start shouting at me, the 'crazy bitch'. Rosalie is comforting Jessica and Alice is stood by, stunned. Lauren, in defence of her friend, comes charging at me but I quickly side step her and she goes barrelling into the wall behind me. I'd laugh if I wasn't so agitated. She tries to keep her pride by casually walking back to her friends with a bump of her shoulder against mine, but I see the way she tries to mask the way she rubs at the top of her head by pretending to smooth out her hair.

People are quickly surrounding the spectacle, and emerging at the front of the circle is Edward, who looks shocked, guilty and a tiny bit proud all at once.

"Out of my way! Let me through!"

A hush spreads through the crowd of students, only disturbed by Jessica's wailing, as Mrs Gabbon, one of the Upper School math teachers makes her way to the scene. She's a lanky, twig-like woman with small semi-circle lensed glasses perched on the end of her hooked nose. She always wears cotton, and today's choice is a red button down, perfect for the occasion, seeing as it matches the shade of red that is currently pouring from Jessica's nose.

"What is going on here? Anyone without an answer off to class right now before you all get an after school detention!"

Oh yeah, did I mention she's one of the strictest, most hated teachers in the school?

Reluctantly, people trickle away. Edward tries to hang around, but with one stern glare from Mrs Gabbon, he's trailing off too, looking back at me with every step.

"Mrs Gabbon, it was all her!" Jessica says from beneath her hand that is cradling her face as she points at me with the other. "She hit me! See? I think she broke my nose! She's crazy! Anyone will tell you that."

"Miss Swan." When Mrs Gabbon addresses me, I stand to attention, not expecting her to know my name. "You, come with me." Then she turns to the 'wounded' party. "Rosalie, dear," - Dear? Oh God, the special treatment! - "Will you take your friend here to the nurses office? Tell them I'll be by once I've dealt with Miss Swan. The rest of you to class. Now!"

"Of course, Helen." Helen? It doesn't really surprise me that Rosalie is on a first name basis with the teachers of this school. Her father probably has them round for dinners or whatever. I don't really know how being the Mayor of a small town such as this works beyond the public speeches and appearances. "Come on, Lauren, Alice. You can come with me. See you later, boys," Rosalie says, leading away a crying Jessica while the two other girls glare at me as they trail behind her. Mrs Gabbon doesn't argue against Rosalie's blatant overruling of her own orders, but she wouldn't dare to - it's probably more than her jobs worth.

She turns on her heel and marches away, not looking back to see if I'm following her but expecting me to all the same. I don't know where we're going until we turn to the corridor that houses the Principals office. I gulp, knowing that this isn't going to end well for me.

~I*A*F*P*I*T*M~

After explaining as much as I could without incriminating the 'gems' of Forks High that is Rosalie Hale and her friends - which meant I couldn't say much at all - I failed to persuade the Principal against his insistence on calling my mother about this 'incident'. That's what I regret most. That she'll be contacted and likely go mad about this. It's been distracting me from my work all morning.

I'm violent and 'a danger to other students', and will be isolated from classes for all of today. I'll be allowed out of the 'cube', as the isolation room is called here, for lunch but won't be allowed into the cafeteria. Honestly, I would be happy if I didn't leave this room until the end of school, but Edward has been spamming my phone with messages all morning and I can ignore them all I want now, but he knows where I am. It'll definitely be student knowledge by now. He could easily come here.

I've been informed that I didn't break Jessica's nose, unfortunately, but I did inflict some serious bruising. She's been sent home, but her parents insisted on taking her to the hospital first, or so I've been told. As well as the isolation and phonecall home, I've been instructed to write a letter of apology to Jessica. That's going to be a difficult task to complete. It has to be done and on the Principal's desk before I leave school this afternoon. I've also received detentions, but after informing the school of my work schedule after school everyday, it's been moved to a Saturday detention this weekend. It'll be for two and a half hours, to make up for the five half-hour after schools I'll be missing this week.

So far, the second week of Junior Year is going excellently. This school year so far, as a whole, has been a ball!

The lunch bell rings and Mrs Gabbon arrives on the dot to escort me to wherever it is I would like to spend my lunch, except for the cafeteria of course. She seems to have made it her personal mission to see to it that I'm punished thoroughly for my behavior. She was the one to inform the Principal of the state she had seen Jessica in as well as the fact that it was Rosalie who was tending to the 'victim'. The emphasis on Rosalie isn't made up by me. She really said it like that, as if to prove to him the seriousness of the situation. I don't know if it made a difference, but Edward, nor Mike got the treatment that I have when they had their fight. Mike got a couple detentions and both of them got a thorough telling off, but nothing more.

I walk silently beside Mrs Gabbon, avoiding the stares and trying to block out the mumbling gossip of all the students around us as we make our way through the halls and to the library, which is where I texted Edward to meet me. Mrs Gabbon leaves as soon as I've entered the library and I sigh in relief, hating every moment spent in that woman's company.

Edward arrives at our corner only two minutes after I slump down to the floor. I have my head in my hands and only raise it when I hear Edward's quiet but frantic "Bella!"

He quickly sits down beside me and, after depositing the food he bought for the two of us, wraps his arm around my shoulder. Despite our earlier mishap, I lean into his touch, needing the comfort. When I pull away, he's waiting eagerly for an explanation. "What's happened? Were you punished? Let off with a warning? What?"

I sigh and pick up a sandwich box. I start picking at the label on the cardboard triangular box as I retell to him almost all that's happened since he had to go to lesson. He is appalled by the harshness of my multiple punishments, but he hasn't heard the worst bit yet. I go silent and can feel him staring at me. Not feeling hungry at all, I throw the sandwich box down with an agitated huff.

"Edward," I stress, turning my head to look at him. "They're going to call Renee! They're going to tell her what I did and she's going to go ape at me for it. God, why did I do that? Why didn't I just shrug her off and walk on."

"Fuck," is his whispered response as he goes as white as a ghost, his complexion most likely matching mine. He drops his sandwich box between his slightly parted legs. "I am so sorry, Bella."

"What for?"

"If I hadn't made you so upset then none of this would have happened."

"Don't," I say as I look down. "It's not your fault. It was going to happen sooner or later. They push me enough, I was bound to snap."

"Still, I was the one that got you so upset in the first place. I was the one that put you in that position. If I hadn't said what I'd said, if we'd walked in together, then this wouldn't have happened."

"Well, it happened, so..."

We both go silent, neither knowing what else to say. We begin eating slowly, both of our appetites lacking in the turn of events this day has taken. "It was a good punch," Edward says, being the first to break the silence as he nudges my shoulder with his.

I smirk and blush, side-eyeing him. "Thanks," I reply bashfully. He stares at me for several moments. The amusement leaves his face until he has only seriousness in his expression.

"Look, Bella, I know that I should have told you about me wanting to keep us quiet for a little while yesterday. I just didn't want to ruin the day. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry."

I look down at my lap as I pick at the bread of my sandwich. "It's okay-"

"No, it's not. I hurt you today and I never ever want to do that. I am so sorry," he says, moving to sit in front me so I can see the earnest look in his eyes.

"Please, Edward, I understand. Really, I do. I was hurt at first, yes, and I'm still a little sad about it but I understand. I know how your family view me and I can only imagine how difficult they'll make our lives if they find out."

"When they find out, Bella. Not if. When. I do want to tell them. Honestly. I just want some time to officially be us first."

I nod, because I really do understand. I've had the whole morning to think it over, when I wasn't imagining all the ways Renee will punish me tonight. I don't hold it against him, this decision. Do I wish he'd told me sooner so I could have been better prepared? Yes. Was the school grounds the worst possible place he could have told me? Absolutely. But I'm glad he didn't tell me yesterday, because our afternoon together at our meadow was perfect, even with the moments of sadness when we spoke of Renee and her ways. I wouldn't trade those memories for the world.

"I get it, Edward. It'll be our secret until we're ready to tell people."

His eyes snap to mine and he stares at me questioningly for several moments. "Until we're ready? Are you not ready either?" he asks warily.

With the time I've had to think over this today, I've had the chance to determine whether I want people to know either. And to be honest, I want some time getting settled into the title of Edward's girlfriend without the tormenting and the hassle, as Edward put it, but also because...

"I don't know how my mother will react either. Because she works so closely to your mom, I don't know if she'll be pleased or not. So, I don't mind waiting if it means holding off any... possible repercussions," I reply, whispering the last two words. We've been talking quietly since the moment he sat down, but I lowered my voice even further just to be safe.

"Okay, so we're agreed. We keep our relationship to ourselves, but only for a little while," he clarifies, making a point of emphasising the last bit, like he's now afraid that I'll want to keep this a secret for more than is really necessary. In spite of my fears, I don't want to keep this a secret for any longer than he is comfortable with.

"Agreed," I say, nodding in affirmation. He smiles and I smile back. We continue to eat.

"How's your hand?" he asks me when we have ten minutes of lunch left. "Does it hurt?"

I look down at my right hand and flex and re-flex it, testing it's state. "There's a slight ache there but it's not too bad. I can handle it." Edward's answering smile is bittersweet, understanding what I meant: I've had worse. Much worse.

A/N: I hope their decision to keep their relationship a secret didn't anger you too much. It was planned from the beginning. The punch, however, wasn't. That was totally spontaneous. Literally, as I wrote her walking away from Edward, it just popped into my head. I like having that in there. There needed to be a little of Bella getting back at them. That won't be the only moment in this story, I promise you. Her punishments were a made up thing. I have nothing to really go on so I went with what I wanted to, basically. Hopefully it wasn't too far off the mark. Anyway, thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review and I'll see you some point this weekend - hopefully tomorrow!