Chapter summary: In which they go through their first classes and don't necessarily hit off with the neighbors.

A/N: PRESENTING: THE CHAPTER I ACTUALLY DIDN'T THINK I WOULD FINISH!

I was so stressed to finish this, and some of the characters seem out of character, but... well, here it is.

Merida was late. It was her very first day at this blasted school, and already she was running late.

Rapunzel had tried to wake her up earlier, but Merida's mum wasn't here to be disapproving of her lazy behavior, so she'd opted to sleep late. Unfortunately, she had slept in too late, and now she had about forty five minutes to wash up, attempt to comb hair mane of hair, get dressed and eat breakfast. Which, by the way, was seven floors below.

Yes, she was off to an amazing start.

She ended up sprinting down the Grand Staircase, intent on grabbing a sausage or two before going to whatever class she had first. But apparently her bad luck didn't just extend to sleeping late. No, she also had to put up with a very unpleasant surprise halfway down one set of stairs.

She had been taking the stairs two at a time, but as luck would have it, the moment her right foot came in contact with one of the middle steps, she felt the stomach-lurching sensation of the step in question giving way beneath her. Next thing she knew, her line of sight was lower by a foot or two, and her right leg had sunk into the offending step up to her knee.

It took Merida a split second to register her current situation. The next few minutes were filled with some very colorful language. She eventually managed to somewhat calm herself down, and then she realized she was going to be even later to class than she already had been. She dealt with the problem by muttering obscenities under her breath, because of course that would at least solve something. Maybe.

She tried pulling herself out, but it seemed that the more she struggled, the faster she was stuck.

Great, Merida thought sourly. Just perfect. I'm going to miss my very first class at this bloody school and I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!

As luck would have it, the first person to come across her were a group of first year Slytherins. Her luck just got better and better.

"-and then it hopped into the corridor and somebody screamed like a total girl-" The kid who was talking, a scrawny, extremely pale boy with a shock of white hair, came to an abrupt halt as he spotted the victim of the staircase. Merida glared down at them all.

"How in Thor's name did you get stuck in there?!" The question came from an equally scrawny boy, though less pale with dark auburn hair.

Merida felt her cheeks begin to heat up in embarrassment, and she crossed her arms in a hopeless attempt to save at least a shred of her dignity. "Apparently, the Hogwarts staircases like to eat the legs of unassuming first years. You should be glad I got caught first, otherwise you probably would have gotten yourselves stuck." The white-haired boy snorted, whether at her joke, or at the implication that they would be stupid enough to get caught in a trick step, Merida didn't know.

"Do you want a hand?" The third person in their little group, a raven-haired boy who was slightly on the short side, began making his way up the stairs, testing each one to make sure it wasn't another trick step. The other two followed suit.

Merida wanted to protest, they were slimy Slytherin snakes after all, but she knew that if she didn't accept their help, she would probably be left here, and then she would be late for certain. So instead, she neither accepted nor declined, but waited impatiently for the boy to reach her. He finally extended a hand, and she took it, vowing to never ever mention this to anyone again. The boy pulled, and with the help of his two friends, Merida's leg finally came free. She shook it out and grabbed her bag, which had fallen a few steps down in the struggle.

"I'm Merlin, by the way," Merida snorted at this. The boy who called himself Merlin, also the first one to offer to help, frowned. "I'm serious. My name is Merlin Whitelaw."

"Right, sorry," Merida couldn't keep the skepticism out of her voice. "Merida. Merida DunBroch."

"Jack Frost," said the white-haired boy.

The third kid hesitated a moment before muttering, "Hiccup Haddock."

Merida snorted again. She really couldn't help it. Haddock went red and Merida realized she still needed to get her schedule. She probably had five minutes left, if not less.

"Well," she turned to leave, "Well, I suppose I'll see you guys... around." She waved her hand vaguely and then sprinted down the staircase.

Yes, she was definitely not telling anyone about this.

When Merida sprinted into the Great Hall about five minutes before the bell, Rapunzel sighed, watching her run to the table, grab a glazed donut, and run back to Rapunzel, who had been waiting by the entrance to the Hall. They immediately set off at a very rushed pace to the Charms classroom.

As it turned out, they were nearly fifteen minutes late, but thankfully, Professor Mansnoozie let them off with a warning. He didn't speak, but waved his wand and spelled the words out in mid-air with something like golden sand that poured from his wand.

Unfortunately, their first Charms class consisted of a lecture of sorts and note taking. They didn't actually do any magic, much to the disappointment of basically everyone in the room.

"Do you think all our classes are going to be like this?" Merida complained quietly.

Rapunzel shrugged. "Probably. I mean, for the first few days at least." Rapunzel's parents didn't tell her much about the exact curriculum of the school, but she could use her common sense. "After all, we do need to understand the 'how' or we might end up - I don't know - conjuring a buffalo or something."

"A buffalo?"

Rapunzel nodded, "Mm-hm." Professor Mansnoozie gave them a warning look and they had to direct their focus back to their notes.

After Charms, the Gryffindors headed out to the greenhouses for Herbology with Professor Longbottom. The class was quite interesting Rapunzel found, and after a very brief lecture on the basic curriculum, Longbottom sent them on a scavenger hunt of sorts, to see how many plants in the greenhouse they could name without the aid of a textbook.

Then it was time for lunch, which was just as delicious as the feast the night before. Rapunzel noticed that most people didn't eat much, probably not very hungry what with the amount of food last night and then breakfast just a few hours ago.

After Rapunzel had scarfed down a ham sandwich, she dragged Merida up to the library. They still had about half an hour left, but Rapunzel doubted that would be enough time for her.

"Why are we in here?" Merida complained as Rapunzel bounced through the aisles, examining every book for a story that might be interesting. "We're in Gryffindor, not Ravenclaw."

Rapunzel pulled out a book titled 'Basking with Basilisks' and flipped through it. "So what? That doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good book. Oh, not this one. Half the pages are just sketches of this guy's face." She shoved the book back on the shelf and removed a slightly thinner one. "Oh, 'The Many Lives of Jimmy Johnson'. But I've read this one." She made to put it back in the shelf, but then something occurred to her and she showed it to Merida, "Wait, weren't you reading this at Flourish and Blott's?" When Merida nodded, she continued, "How far in are you? I'm still waiting for the third installment to come out."

"Ah..." Merida wasn't sure how to explain that her mother didn't approve and so she hadn't even finished the first chapter. "Well, my mother wouldn't buy it..."

"Why not? It's not like you couldn't afford it."

Merida let out a frustrated groan, "Ugh, I know! But she doesn't want me to read it! She thinks I should read something more 'appropriate' for a princess, like her dusty old poetry or Shakespeare! She tries to control my entire life and she never cares what I want!" Merida stopped, her face flushed, and tried to calm herself down.

Rapunzel looked at her for a moment, not sure how to react. Finally, she held out the book. "Well, she isn't here now, is she? So you can borrow it from the school instead."

Merida raised her eyebrows, then grinned. "You know, I didn't expect you to be the rebellious type, Rapunzel."

She shrugged, "I probably wouldn't if it were me, but I bet you will."

Merida snorted, "Well then you're betting skills are clearly up to scratch."

Rapunzel grinned. Merida took the book, and grinned back.

"Do you think the schedules change each week?" Jack wondered as he, Hiccup and Merlin made their way down to the Slytherin common room after dinner. "I mean, imagine starting every week of school with History of Magic, of all things. I think I'd die."

"Well on the bright side," Merlin interjected, "We'll get extra sleep every Monday."

"Okay, but then we'll be all tired during Defense, and I don't want to be falling asleep in there." Defense Against the Dark Arts, taught by Professor Ogglebert, was showing potential to be every students' favorite class. Ogglebert was a very eccentric man with an impressively curled mustache. He had gone into a detailed summary of what they would be covering this year, and Jack thought it seemed quite interesting, though he didn't think Hiccup shared his sentiments.

"I think I'll just skip the lessons where we curse each other, thanks." Hiccup said dejectedly as they entered the dungeons. "Otherwise I'll wind up being embarrassed in front of half our year."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Come on Hiccup, if you don't go to Defense, you'll get the worst marks in our year. And heaven knows we wouldn't want that." The last part was laced with sarcasm, but Hiccup didn't seem to notice.

"That's true... Dad would probably kill me if I skipped class anyway." He said the password and the stone wall slid aside to reveal the dark Slytherin common room.

Jack glanced at the foggy, floor-to-ceiling windows at the back. "Why are the windows so dark? It's only, what, six o'clock?"

"It's under the lake," Hiccup made his way to the windows to peer out into the gloom. "My dad - he was in Slytherin too - he says he once flipped off the giant squid as it passed, and it rammed the window and ended up with a headache."

"And you believe it?" Jack asked skeptically.

"Yes I do."

Jack snorted, but before he could tell Hiccup that was ridiculous, they were interrupted by Merlin, who was standing near a tapestry, "Hey guys, come and look at this."

They joined him and looked at the tapestry, which depicted a tall, stern looking man with slicked-back black hair and wearing green robes. He looked at them critically, and Jack was once again reminded just how different this world was from the one he was used to.

"Good evening, young snakes." The man said, his face impassive.

"Who are you?" Jack asked, not bothering with the pleasantries.

The man's mouth twitched, though Jack was unsure if that was a good or bad thing. "Take a wild guess, why don't you?"

"You're Slytherin, aren't you?" Hiccup said, his voice betraying his awe. "Salazar Slytherin."

Slytherin gave them a thin smile. "Right you are. And what are your names, my snakes?"

Not a moment after they replied, a new voice piped up to their left, "And I suppose nobody has any clue who I am, yes?" They turned to see another tapestry, this one depicting a young raven-haired man with bright blue eyes, high cheekbones, and a thin frame, wearing what looked like very old-fashioned muggle clothes.

Salazar groaned, "Oh, come off it. You've been complaining about this for centuries, boy. Can't you grow up and act your age?"

The other man glared at him as well as he could, considering their tapestries were facing the same direction. "Can't you quit calling me 'boy'? Honestly, I'm a lot older than you are, and more famous, too. I have every right to complain when nobody knows who I am. Plus, tapestries don't grow up. It's against the rules."

Jack, Hiccup and Merlin stood there awkwardly, until Jack finally spoke up, "So... who are you?"

The man gave a long, dramatic groan. Then he sighed. "Okay, tell you what. If you can guess my name before you graduate, I'll tell you a very secret secret. But for now, call me... Colombarius." Salazar snorted loudly at this, but he didn't say anything. "But there's a catch. I'll give you hints if you ask for them, but I'm taking a leaf out of Ki- out of a friend's book and making my answers as vague as possible. And if you get hints from anyone else, I will find out and I won't tell you the extremely secret secret. You can use books though."

"Ah..." Jack and the others blinked, trying to register everything Colombarius had said.

"Oh did you know," The tapestry said suddenly, "A majority of the mermaids can use sign language. But don't ask them for dating advice. I once saw a boy flirt with a girl using horribly cheesy mermish pick-up lines. Quite a disaster, I can tell you. No girl likes having her hair compared to seaweed. Well, no human girl."

"O-kay," Jack turned toward the dormitories. "I think I'll just go ahead and sleep that off."

Neither Hiccup nor Merlin argued.

A/N: Aight kids, I've decided I hate the English language, even though it's my first one. Seriously, 'Ogglebert' isn't considered a legal word and 'boondoggle' is. It apparently means 'work or activity that is wasteful or pointless but gives the appearance of having value' and kerfuffle, cattywampus, and brouhaha are also legal words, among others.

Also, put 'only' next to any word in this sentence:
She told him that she loved him.

Plus, this is a grammatically correct exchange:
Person 1: will will smith smith?
Person 2: will smith will smith.

Yeeeeea. Plus the fact that we the teenagers have apparently decided that any noun can also be used as a verb. (e.g, I like to velociraptor around my house at 3 am)

And, yes, I took the xtra 3 things from tumblr posts and no, I don't feel guilty for copyright or some dumb crap. : )

Someone brought up the issue of the time setting. I'm not going to say exact, because then there'll be the issue of Cursed Child and all them mini-Potters and mini-Granger-Weasleys, but it's after the Golden Trio have graduated, so that's why Ron's got his chocolate card and no one gives a crap about saying 'Voldemort' and yeah. Also, Hagrid does work there still, so it's not too far into the future.