Chapter 13: Priorities
"And the bludger is hurtling towards her! Brace for it Weasely!" Ginny, paying heed to the announcer's warning, clutched tightly at her broom and tried a last minute, desperate swerve. She knew it wouldn't be enough. Her eyes were closed and her body was braced for impact, but it never came. Had Tiberius or Rhydian managed to get over in time? No. Something was wrong. Everything had gone quiet. Opening her eyes, she turned her head and searched the Pitch wildly, trying to figure out what had happened. "And the bludger, it um, it switched directions. Aiming right for Cottington now!"
The announcer tried valiantly to keep commenting on the game, but the crowd wasn't interested. The crowd's roaring gradually got louder and louder, but it was a condemning roar. There was no cheering. They were booing. Madame Hooch blew her whistle over and over again, stopping the game, and Ginny hovered in midair, looking around in desperate confusion. The Ravenclaw captain was racing over to meet Madame Hooch, and his voice carried right to Ginny. "That's cheating that is! That bludger bounced! Weasley's got a shield charm around her!"
"Thank you Mr. Rockwood! I am perfectly capable of identifying charms myself! Now leave off before I penalize you as well!" Shield charm? Cheating? Anger overtook her. Before she knew what she was doing, she had flown over to Rockwood and Hooch, screaming at them red faced. "I didn't cheat you bloody pillock! Here!" In a fit of anger, she yanked her robe pockets inside out, and rolled her sleeves up. "No wand! You probably had one of your toadies cast it on me, knowing you'd never win in a fair fight!"
"Never win? I could beat you one handed you trussed up trollop!"
"Please! I'd like to see you try you wanker!"
"Enough!" Madame Hooch bellowed, effectively silencing the two. "Whoever cast the charm, the rules are clear. 10 foul shots for Ravenclaw. End of discussion." Ginny flew off steaming, anger simmering away as she watched Ravenclaw take the foul shots. 100 points, down the drain. And for what? Had someone actually charmed her? Who would it have been?
It could have been a Ravenclaw desperate for a win. But none of them had ever done something like this before. The more she thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed. Someone had charmed her for another reason. The game continued on without incident, and Ginny caught the snitch, giving them a win of 70 points. Not nearly enough to catch up with Slytherin. Draco had yet to lose a match as seeker. Harry would have been able to beat him, but without Harry around, Draco seemed nearly untouchable on the Pitch.
She headed straight towards the locker rooms, not in the mood to celebrate the win. It was a bitter victory, knowing it should have been a win of 170 points, not 70. Apparently Jannice felt the same. Storming in right after Ginny, the girl threw her pads off and glared at Ginny. "What the hell was that! A shield charm? Are you mental! We only have two more games left in the season and we are trailing Slytherin by over 200 points! We cannot afford to toss 100 points out like that." Ginny yelled right back.
"Bite me Jannice! I had nothing to do with that! I don't cheat!"
"Maybe. But your boyfriend does, doesn't he?"
Ginny's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Excuse me?"
Jannice scoffed. "Oh sorry. Not boyfriend. Right. I meant that bastard who shags you whenever he wants. Much better."
Bewildered by Jannice's theory, her anger gave way to confusion. "Malfoy? He has nothing to do with this. He couldn't give a rat's arse if I got pummeled."
Jannice only continued to glare. "I didn't say he cared about you. Any idiot can see he's just using you. And he just used you to ensure Slytherin is going to win the House Cup! We'll never catch up now!"
Ginny blinked, and then set her mouth in a firm line. She wanted to say he wouldn't have done that. That he wouldn't have humiliated her in front of the whole school, labeling her a cheater, only to ensure he won the House Cup. It would be low, dirty, and selfish. And if she had been anyone else, it was exactly what she would expect from him. Bullocks. It had been him.
"Shut the hell up Jannice." And with that, she stormed back out of the changing room, forgoing the shower or change of clothes. She needed to talk to him. Now.
Spotting him, she shouldered her way through the crowd forcefully, no doubt leaving a few bruised spectators in her wake. "Malfoy!" He glanced over his shoulder, spotted her, and sneered. "Not now Weasely. You look and smell like you've just crawled out of the dirt. Go shower and change, and then maybe I'll be willing to." He had turned back around and continued walking forward with the crowd, so she had no choice but to rush forward and shove him.
Any satisfaction she got from shoving him was quickly erased by his reaction. Whipping around, he had his wand pointed at her face and a cold expression. "Touch me again without my permission, and you'll be one very sorry little girl." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and matched his glare, ignoring the breathless feeling he had caused in her. Merlin, was he sexy when he was angry. "Did you do it? Was it you who cast that charm?" While he tried to hide it, she saw quite clearly the panic that flashed through his eyes. She saw red.
"You absolute tosser! You forced that penalty to keep us from the House Cup! Slytherin ought to be disqualified! Too cowardly to even see who would win fair and square!" He hexed her before she could hit him. Infuriated as her arms grew feathers and her mouth elongated into a beak, she tried to keep attacking. It was a lost cause. Draco was being pummeled by nothing more than feathers, and the squawks coming out of her mouth were unintelligible.
People were laughing, and Ginny began tearing up, embarrassed and hurt. "Fly Gin." It was nothing but a whisper, but she heard him. Draco went right back to loudly ridiculing her, and she was sure no one had noticed his quick aside to her. It was stupid. She would fall. She would look like a complete loon if it didn't work. It came down to if she trusted him. She flapped her arms-turned-wings, and suddenly she was in the air.
Ginny heard people gasp in awe as she hovered above their heads. Regaining her confidence, she flattened her body out and flapped her wings again. They propelled her forward, and she did a few more flaps, much to her peers' admiration, before she brought her shoulders back and dove for Draco. She saw Draco smile slightly before he waved his wand and her arms began transforming back. Abandoning her plan of attack, she managed to safely make it back to the ground by flapping frantically and readjusting her body.
Out of breath, she stayed in her crouched position, trying to process all that had happened. "You fly better as a bird than a seeker Weasely. Maybe that's how your pathetic team can catch up. Recruit some sort of fowl to replace you." She looked on as he walked off, Draco not waiting around to bask in the laughter he had caused like normal. His uncharacteristic retreat didn't seem to be noticed by anyone other than her, and she was smart enough not to draw attention to it. Something was wrong. He had cast that shield charm, and he didn't want anyone to know.
A kiss. A kiss had been all that was needed to completely derail her plan of confronting him on Sunday night. Still disillusioned, he had snuck up from behind as the stones finished closing, and placed a kiss right where her neck met her collarbone. She had found herself gasping, and sinking back into him as his arms snaked around her waist. He was so warm, so strong, so secure. Involuntarily, she felt all of the tension ease out of her.
"So how was Finnegan today?" Ginny turned so she could see him and his arrogant smirk. Honestly. She threw her hands around his neck and looked right into his eyes. "He seemed a bit distracted. It does not mean though, that you are right." His eyes lit up and she spoke before he could. "You are not a matchmaker Draco Malfoy. You know nothing about romance, or anything about Seamus."
He scoffed. "What's to know? He's a Gryffindor. Idiotically noble. Delusionally optimistic. No doubt he thinks of himself as Tracey's knight in shining armor, ready to whisk her away from her horrible home life." Ginny's mouth thinned as she realized that Draco was very possibly on to something. Ever since Valentine's Day over two weeks ago, Seamus had been heading to the library alone, supposedly to not be distracted as the NEWT exams inched closer and closer. However oftentimes, he came to lunch or dinner after time spent in the library looking distinctly flushed and pleased in a way that had her suspecting he had spent very little time studying.
"And what do you mean I know nothing about romance?" Ginny smiled at his offended expression and mumbled 'never mind' before kissing him. He kissed back, but once they pulled apart, she was shocked to see him frowning. "Draco?"
"Shut up for a second." It was indicative of the times that instead of indignation, she instead felt a burst of fear. Had he heard something? Was someone on the other side of the wall? He had pulled away from her and had his wand out, prompting her to grab hers out of her pocket as well. And then she stood there stunned as he began changing everything in her room into shades of pink. Alarmed, she yanked his wand down mid-incantation, and stared at him in horror. He snapped at her. "What! I'm being romantic!" Ginny gaped. "Romantic? How in Merlin's name is this romantic?"
"I don't bloody know! But Madame Puddifoot's is apparently romantic and that place has pink all over the place." He stood there angrily, as Ginny burst into laughter. She knew her mirth was irritating him. She really did try and get herself under control. Still, how could she not laugh? Eventually, she managed to compose herself enough to speak without the threat of succumbing to laughter again. By this point, he had sat down on her chair with arms crossed, and was glaring at her.
"Sorry. You're right. Madame Puddifoot's is romantic. But not because of the pink. It's nice because of the small, two person tables. Because of the fine china and the embroidered cloth napkins that make it feel fancy. Because of the soft music and quiet atmosphere that makes it seem perfect for having an intimate conversation."
He snorted. "As if anyone would really have an intimate conversation in a public tea shop. The only thing I ever saw there was awkward small talk and girls giggling." She shrugged and forced herself to not say anything about how that was all Pansy was probably capable of. Draco's ex had been particularly nasty to her these past few months, and Ginny had no love lost for her. Instead, she kept the focus on herself.
"I don't know. Dean and I had some pretty nice conversations in there." There was a moment of heavy silence, as they both realized they had broached the subject of exes. It wasn't something they had ever spoken about. Of course she knew he had been with Pansy. And while she wasn't sure if he had known about Michael or Dean, he certainly would have known about Harry. The whole school had known about her and Harry. Despite his best efforts, Harry had always been a school celebrity.
"Well if an intimate atmosphere is really what makes it romantic, then we can't do better than here can we?" Ginny knew what he was doing. It was an out, a way to keep the focus on the present. Ginny took it. She smiled at him, walked over, and straddled his lap. "No, we can't." And then they were snogging.
It was over an hour later that Ginny found herself naked on the bed, her legs bent so that the back of her ankles rested on Draco's shoulders. He was thrusting as deeply as he could, a desperation in both of them that exceeded normal sexual desire. She heard herself scream as an orgasm overtook her. Draco followed not long after, but instead of rolling off of her, he stayed, his cock still securely in her. They were both breathing deeply. A drop of sweat fell from his forehead onto her breast. Still, neither of them moved.
"Tell me your schedule again." Ginny nodded, and tried to bring her thoughts back into focus. "My morning class ends half past eleven, and then I have back to back afternoon classes from one until a quarter to five."
"Right, so the morning is out. I have back to back classes in the morning. We'll have to do five then." Ginny nodded, and then moved on to her Tuesday schedule. It wasn't until they had gone through all five days, that he finally allowed himself to roll off and collapse next to her. Ginny immediately stuck her legs up, and pointed her toes towards the ceiling. It was made slightly easier by the pillow she had put under her arse, but her thighs still strained with the effort. All she wanted was to collapse and curl up next to Draco. But this was more important.
It wasn't that she was desperate to become a mum. In fact, the idea still terrified her. But she knew the stakes, particularly for Draco, and she was willing to do anything in her power to save him from having to kill and torture when he didn't want to. Last month had been the first time they had tried for a baby in earnest. She hadn't really known too much about the process, but as it turned out, Draco did.
He hadn't been lying to her that day in the Quidditch changing room when he told her he had been seriously thinking about a baby being the best thing for them. In fact, he had been thinking about it for at least a month. He had spent hours during Christmas Break sequestered away in his family library, reading through books about pregnancy. He had known his mother had likely bought any she could find when she was trying to conceive.
And so, Ginny had made a rough calculation for when she would be most fertile, and they had tried to make the most of it, even taking the risk of having sex between classes. She didn't really know how much she had expected it to work until she got her menses two weeks later. At the sight of blood, she had actually broken down crying in the girl's loo, feeling as if her body had failed her. As if she had failed Draco.
If she was older, if she was married, she could ask her mum. She could get advice on what to try or what to eat, or even ask for something to increase fertility. She felt sure there must be a potion or even a type of tea that was created for that purpose, but she didn't know it, or have any way to find out. For the first time, she was grateful for the jokes she had heard all her life about Weasley fertility. She was hoping desperately that there was some truth to it, and that she had inherited it.
For now, the only thing they knew to change, was to try and make sure she spent time after sex in a position that would help Draco's essence go down deep into her body. It made the prospect of sex during the week much more difficult. Last month they had done quick shags between classes, and Ginny had run to class right after. Apparently that wasn't ideal for their purposes. She thought getting pregnant was supposed to be a natural, simple thing. Wasn't that part of the reason sex before marriage was frowned upon? As far as she could tell, the chances of sex leading to pregnancy without any effort were not nearly as high as she had been led to believe.
"Do you think there's any truth to the rumour that the Carrows are more than siblings?" Ginny made a face that blatantly showed her disgust, and then shivered. "Ugh! Is that really the rumour going round?" Draco laughed. "Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be more than a rumour, really." Ginny put a thoughtful expression on, and worked to study Draco. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, already anticipating her teasing. "What?"
"Nothing. Just, they are unhinged, aren't they?" His brow furrowed, trying to figure out what she was really getting at. She was more serious than he expected. She was thinking about something more than just an incest rumour. Ginny knew he was trying to read her. Trying to understand the subtext. She wasn't too surprised when he caught on. She knew he was clever.
"If you're looking for me to denounce all followers of the Dark Lord, you're barking up the wrong tree Weasley." Ginny drew in a sharp breath. He hadn't called her Weasley in private for what felt like ages. He was fuming. And so was she.
"Draco Malfoy. Don't you dare Weasely me. I am giving up a chance at my NEWTS for you. I am trying to have a baby for you. The least you can do is not shut me out."
His mouth twitched and his chest puffed out in anger. "Fine. You want to know my thoughts? My thoughts are that death eaters are some of the most intelligent, well bred, powerful, and admirable wizards in Britain. The dark mark, that was the mistake. They should have figured out a way to use the Dark Lord instead of letting him use them. There is always going to be the insane fanatics. But you don't let them be the leaders. Do you know how degrading it is to be associated with the Snatchers? With deranged lunatics?"
Ginny jumped in, unable to keep quiet. "Are you honestly implying that the death eaters are not lunatics? Your Aunt Bellatrix is-"
"Yes! Alright! Don't finish that sentence by the way. I'll concede that there might a few that have lost the plot."
"Plot? What plot! What is your father even fighting for?" He stared at her, and Ginny realized that Draco didn't even really know. She felt her heart leap. "Draco, in all honesty, why is your father a death eater? What does he want to accomplish?"
Draco's brow furrowed. "He joined because the Dark Lord promised power." Ginny blinked, trying to keep her expression neutral. She believed Draco completely. Lucius Malfoy was power hungry. So power hungry, that he had no qualms about stepping on those he considered inferior to get to the top. She remembered quite clearly how in the Department of Mysteries, he had so easily dismissed Ron, Neville, Luna and herself as expendable. He hadn't cared if they were tortured, killed, or left unharmed. As long as they were out of his way. While Lucius might not get joy out of killing, he certainly wasn't bothered by it.
But Draco wasn't like that. Sure, Draco wanted power. He wanted to influence and maybe even intimidate others. But not at any cost. He couldn't stand the thought of killing someone. Even when their murder was the only way to save his own life and that of his mother. He couldn't even stand the thought of torturing someone. Just watching people get crucioed bothered him. And as she looked at him, she realized that he thought his father was the same. He didn't realize how cold hearted his father was to others. Draco loved his father, and wanted to think the best of him. Was she really going to try and ruin that?
"Alright, so he joined for power. To be influential and have everyone fear and admire him. But as a group, what do the death eaters want? What is their ideology exactly?"
Draco looked at a complete loss. She didn't know if she was exasperated or relieved. "That wasn't ever really stated exactly. I guess the statue they put up at the Ministry? Magic is Might? That would cover it. Magic is the superior force in the world. Therefore we must guard it well. Keep it in magical families. Keep it from being twisted and turned." Draco was picking up confidence with every word, and Ginny thought frantically how to turn the conversation around.
"So you want to deny wizards the right to live how they want?" Draco stopped and stared at her in confusion, while Ginny tried to gather her thoughts. "That's what you're saying. Deny wizards and witches the right to marry who they want. Even the right to do magic if they're not pure enough. No one is saying magic doesn't need to be protected. No one is saying magic isn't powerful, that it's not special."
"Yes they are! That's exactly what people are saying. That magic isn't special. That any muggle with a spark of magic can come in and eclipse those born and raised magically. They're trying to tear our culture away from us. Infect it with muggle gadgets and ideas."
"Well then pass laws to preserve our culture! But don't imprison and kill people over it!"
"That's exactly what I want to do!"
"Then why are we fighting!"
"I don't know!"
There was a beat of silence as they both processed what had been said, and then Ginny's whole body curled up, and she rolled into his chest. His arms went around her and his chin rested on the top of her head. They both lay there, thinking their own thoughts, feeling lost about what exactly it was they were supposed to feel. Ginny was by no means questioning the fact that the Order was in the right. It was perfectly clear You Know Who had to be killed and the psychotic death eaters had to be defeated. Muggleborns needed to be freed from persecution. But she also felt inexplicably tied to Draco. Allied to him, which should be at odds with her beliefs, but somehow didn't feel like it. Somehow, she was still a staunch supporter of the Order, while also not minding Draco pursuing his own agenda for the wizarding world.
Eventually, she pulled herself out of her thoughts and looked around for a way to lighten the mood again. It was then that she remembered the Quidditch incident. She didn't want another fight tonight, but they had to talk about it. Maybe if she brought it up without any anger. If she gave him the benefit of the doubt. She kissed his chest, and then pushed herself away so that she could see his face.
"Draco? Why the shield charm yesterday?" Her tone appeared to have worked. He only looked at her, and then ran his hand down her side to rest on her stomach. "I know the chance is slim. But we did manage to find time Friday night. I realized you were about to be hit, and I guess I panicked. I knew you'd be fine even if you fell, but if there was the start of a life in you, well, any blunt trauma would kill it." Ginny's face paled as his words sunk in. "It would?" He nodded and Ginny felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach. She knew Quidditch had the potential to be a dangerous sport. But she hadn't connected the dots.
"Why didn't you warn me? On Friday." He shrugged. "I didn't think it would do any good. You had to play. And play as normal. If this all works out, we're still going to need to treat your pregnancy as some huge surprise, some terrible mistake. You can't change how you act as if you expect to be pregnant."
As the week progressed, Ginny tried to keep Draco's words in mind, and continue to act normally. To focus on classes and brush aside thoughts of a baby. Yet every day, she spent at least twenty minutes staring up at the ceiling, unable to think of anything else. It was after all, the reason she was there, her hips tilted, trying to stave off boredom. To at least try and minimize the risk of being caught in a compromising position, Draco left after sex. That way, if Ginny was found, she would only be found lying on conjured pillows in a room alone, practicing charms or something. It would still look bizarre, but Ginny knew that unless it was Snape or one of the Carrows, she could convince them that she just needed time alone. Or possibly, that she was hiding out.
While the Carrows had been terrible the entire year, the persecution of students was even worse now. The Carrows were now actively trying to recruit students into terrorizing others, and unfortunately, a few had taken the bait. It was all the more terrifying, because it was in ways no one could have predicted. She had just heard a story the other day about a fourth year who had accidentally knocked against a classmate and made them trip. In retaliation, her hair had been set on fire, and she had to go to the Hospital Wing for burns to her scalp. Instead of punishing the student, Amycus decided to teach the girl how to make the fire twice as destructive for next time, and praised her for her ingenuity.
It was this implicit approval of using magic against others that was splitting the school in half. You were either the aggressor, or you would be a victim. There were rampant rumours of people being threatened into doing others' homework, being used as practice targets for hexes and jinxes, or being forced into humiliating positions or acts. Like the second year boy who was going around school like a pack mule, carrying the satchels of at least five of his classmates.
Ginny had been trying her best to help. She spent quite a bit of free time watching to see if she could get one of the victims alone. Then, she did her best to pass on her knowledge. She would teach them a charm, or hand them one of Fred and George's products, in hopes that it might let them get back at their attacker or at least protect themselves from a jinx or two.
As for herself, she simply kept her wand in her hand as much as possible. After months of being tormented for sleeping with Draco, being a target for hexes and jinxes was nothing new. She had a keen sense for when to cast a shield charm, and continued to try and give as good as she got.
It helped a lot that nearly none of her tormentors knew more than she did. Being part of Dumbledore's Army had left her with more defense knowledge than a lot of her fellow sixth years. NEWT classes meant that anyone fifth year or below didn't know nearly the amount of charms, transfigurations, or even dark magic spells that she did. If there was any group of students she should be worried about, it would be the seventh years. But the seventh years seemed to be embroiled in their own drama.
While she knew very little of what was happening in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, she was very much aware of what was happening in Gryyfindor, and thanks to Draco, in Slytherin. In her own house, Neville and Seamus were both tense and short with each other. There had apparently been bouts of fighting in Gryffindor Tower caused by Seamus refusing to tell Neville where he had been. As for the girls, Pavarti was constantly trying to help Lavender, who had gone more than a bit mental after foreseeing the destruction of the castle in Trawlney's NEWT class. She had fled to the tower after class on Monday, absolutely hysterical, positive Hogwarts was about to be destroyed.
In Slytherin, infighting was rampant. Daphne and Pansy had found themselves unlikely allies as both of them felt the sting of betrayal from their best friends. For the past few weeks Millicent had been allowing Crabbe to try and win her over, properly this time, and Daphne was indescribably angry. Infuriated that after all those weeks of standing up for Millicent against Crabbe, Millicent was willing to forgive him. Daphne couldn't forgive him, and was appalled that Millicent could. In Pansy's case, the betrayal seemed much more mild, but Pansy felt it deeply and personally. As per usual, Pansy had been taunting Seamus about something, and Seamus had taunted back, and soon the two were fighting. The only thing Tracy had done was stay silent and refuse to lift her wand to help Pansy. But to Pansy, this was apparently the same as siding with Seamus and completely unforgivable.
As for the guys, Goyle was bitter over Crabbe abandoning him for Millicent, and had begun hanging out with Nott, who was at a total loss for how to handle this unwanted attention. Desperate to not be in charge of Goyle, Nott had been trying to hang out with Draco and let him take charge, which did nothing but annoy Zabini, Zabini was apparently the one Slytherin who did not admire Draco, and thought all the attention paid to him was idiotic. According to Draco, Zabini was just jealous. But whatever the reason, Zabini had always taken pride in not fawning over Draco, and considered Nott his ally in this. That Nott was now spending time with Draco was in Zabini's mind, a terrible betrayal, although Draco was rather sure Nott was completely oblivious to this. What Nott was not oblivious to, was the sneers and insults Zabini had thrown his way, and Nott now felt betrayed by his best friend. Draco really wasn't sure how it would all end because both Zabini and Nott had a terrible amount of pride, and would never apologize to the other. It was all a complete mess.
In fact, it was such a mess that Ginny felt as if her own life was actually going quite well.
"Arghh!"
"Now Miss. Weasely, if you would be so kind as to describe the feeling to your classmates?"
Alright, so maybe going well was overstating things a bit. "Yes Professor. It felt as if my skin had dried and crackled off. The heat went right into my bones and a blinding agony took over."
"And did your vision go black?"
"Briefly."
Amycus grinned, and used his wand to rap her wrists. Ginny winced. "And yet, we see no damage. No evidence of foul play. In fact, all the pain is completely physiological. For next class, you will all write an essay on the possible applications of these sorts of curses. When and in what circumstances they would be most useful. 14 inches, and at least four applications of the curse. Dismissed."
On the way out, a Hufflepuff classmate walked alongside her, and waited until they were far enough away that Carrow wouldn't see or hear a thing. "Absolute sadist he is. Thanks for stepping up like that. Thought he was going to go for Elise, and you know how she is with pain." Ginny forced a smile and tried to look carefree. "Old hat by now. No worries." She knew she had done this to herself. That she shouldn't resent the people she was trying to protect. Still, it was lonely and difficult. Determinedly, she bottled all her emotions up, and asked about the Gobstones Club. Being president of the organization, the Hufflepuff's face lit up, and Ginny let herself zone in and out of the girl's chatter.
Later that afternoon, hunched over a book in the library, Ginny's body stiffened and her hand wrapped around her wand. A tickling sensation crawled across her neck again, and she looked around trying to find her attacker. The library was generally considered neutral ground as Madame Pince still retained the authority to kick out any disruptive students, and thus bar them from any books that would be needed to complete class assignments. The tickling sensation came for a third time, and Ginny finally locked eyes with Seamus.
Seamus jerked his head to the side, and Ginny nodded, quietly collecting up her things. The two stood and walked out, Ginny following at a distance. She had avoided taking sides in regards to him and Neville. She was pretty sure Seamus was working to make sure she wasn't forced to. From how he was acting, this would be a secret talk, and Neville need never know of it.
Seamus closed the door to the classroom, and Ginny couldn't help but smile. This was the same room she and Draco had been in two nights ago. It had been particularly brilliant sex, Draco having taken her from behind just in case that position would help him get deeper. She had never expected to like her bottom bouncing against him so much. But she had. Much to her embarrassment, she had even liked it when he had smacked her arse during it.
"Well? What's all this about then? Need some pointers on how to catch a girl?" Seamus' face flushed and Ginny grinned. So Draco had been right. Oh well, she was happy for Seamus regardless.
"Actually, need some advice on how to keep the girl. I know she likes me. We've snogged a fair bit. But she says she's too scared to go public. Thing is, I don't fancy keeping secrets. It's the secrecy that's driving Neville up the wall. If I could just come out and say what I've been doin'!" He took a breath and tried to regain some semblance of calm. "So if you could talk to her, tell her it won't be that bad, that'd be great. I'd really appreciate it Gin."
Ginny knew Seamus was a friend. That he didn't mean to be insulting. It didn't stop what she said next though. "Won't be that bad? Are you serious! Do you even know what I have gone through?" Seamus' brow furrowed. "What are you talkin' about?"
Ginny could have punched him. She didn't, but it was a close call. "I've been called every word you can think of. Slag. Trollop. Bint. Tart. Slut. Whore. I've been cursed and hexed. I've been pushed and shoved. My bag's been jinxed open over a dozen times. The other girls spread rumours like you wouldn't believe." She was on the verge of telling him one. Like the one that was spread about her quim having been fucked so many times it was as wide as a cave now. But she couldn't say it. As much as she hated herself for it, she was embarrassed by them. She couldn't make herself repeat them.
As she paused, Seamus jumped in, determined for her to see his point. "But that's it, isn't it? They're not insulting you for being with a Slytherin, they're insulting you for doing…you know. Point is, Tracey doesn't have to worry about that. We're going to be having a proper relationship. Dating like anyone else our age."
Ginny felt the air leave her lungs as she realized something. Something she should have picked up on long ago. Seamus was her friend and he was willing to let her make her own choices, but sexually, he saw her as tainted. He would never date her. While he might disagree with people calling her those terms to her face or actively bullying her for it, a part of him agreed with them. She was a whore. As far as potential wife material, he saw Tracey as better than her. Seamus was sure that Tracey had nothing to fear because he would protect her reputation.
Her determination to be nice vanished, and in its wake was the jagged edge of bitterness. "Tracey has every right to not want to go public with you. It's not because of a stupid house rivalry either. You wouldn't understand, you're not a pureblood. But going out with a halfblood? She'd be spending every waking moment trying to prove to her friends that you are a wizard through and through, and that your mum, a witch, raised you right." She could see the anger rushing to Seamus' face, and felt her own anger drain out of her.
"I know it's hard to hear Seamus, but it's the truth. If you really want to make it work with her, start there. Find some way to show her friends that you choose wizarding ways over muggle ones. I'm not saying that it's fair or it's right, but it is what it is. If she's worth it, do it. If not, let her go." Seamus was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke and his voice nearly made her jump.
"Muggle culture isn't always inferior you know." Ginny just looked at him and hoped her expression gave nothing away. It wasn't a debate she wanted to have right now. "Both societies have their problems. But wizards could still learn things from the muggles. I don't know too many specifics. Most of what I learned in primary about history and science I've forgotten. If you ever see Hermione again though, talk to her. If anyone knows what lessons muggles could teach us, it'd be her."
Ginny didn't cry when he said Hermione's name, but her sadness must have been apparent on her face because Seamus winced. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…when you see her again. Not if. They're okay. They must be. We would have read about it if they had been caught." Ginny sniffed, took a deep breath, and recollected herself. "Yeah." Seamus shifted slightly and then asked if she wanted a hug. He looked so uncomfortable and the request was so strange, that Ginny actually found herself giving a burst of laughter.
"Thanks, but I'll be fine." And she was. Because at the end of the day, she knew that she had Draco.
It was with him that Ginny ranted about how she wanted to hex that girl for thanking her after Dark Arts. For the girl's assumption that of course Ginny Weasely could take the pain that Elise couldn't. After all, what was one more round of torture? And when Draco told her that she shouldn't volunteer herself, that she should look out for her own safety, she beamed. She wouldn't follow his advice of course. But she could easily admit how happy it made her to have him put her safety and feelings ahead of others'.
Eager to give vent to all of her feelings, she then told him about Seamus and how she couldn't believe Seamus would think Tracey Davis a better woman than her. That Tracey had nothing on her in terms of cleverness, wandwork, athleticism, or personality. Draco had smirked and made a few additions of his own to the list that made Ginny blush, but appreciative all the same. His hands squeezed her breasts and he whispered in her ear that any bloke would be lucky to have her. And then he twisted her nipples and added that they were all out of luck, because she was his. She moaned at the possessiveness in his voice, and the rest of the discussion was lost to kissing.
By the end of it, she had managed to release all the stress and frustration of the day, and walked into supper in a bit of a happy haze. Not even the muttered insult of "shameless slut" bothered her when she heard it. They were right in a way. She was shameless. She had encouraged Draco to leave marks, and he had. There was a very visible hickey by her collarbone, and she found herself fiercely proud of it. No one was going to define her, but her. She protected the weak, she was kind to the downtrodden, she was recklessly brave, and she was with Draco Malfoy. All four of those things made her strong. All four of those things worked together to keep her feeling good about herself. And she wasn't planning to give any of them up, no matter what anyone thought.